Hey guys, I thought of this idea while trying to think of what to write for my other fanfics. Please, let me know what you think. And, I am going to try to finish my other fanfics before starting any new ones, after this one.
I really like the idea of the friendship between Jerry and Andy. I know that it isn't played out in the show that much, but I feel like they would be pretty good friends, especially since they are each dating the other's best friend. So, I decided to write a fanfic about it. This will follow Jerry and Andy through some pretty tough times, and will show how they are there for each other.
His heart was beating ridiculously fast. Sweat was dripping down his face, drenching the palms of his hands, and soaking his once blue undershirt. The thoughts in his mind were racing overwhelmingly fast, too fast to concentrate, but just long enough so that he couldn't forget – no matter how hard he tried. The blood covered his hands, his lower arms, and his chest. Coating him in a painful stain – one that he knew extended beyond just his skin and his clothes. And, one that he knew he would never be able to completely get rid of.
Breathing in a heavy, ragged breath, Jerry ran his hands through Sam's hair, holding his friend's head steady, and trying with everything he had within himself, not to show how incredibly scared he was. He looked into Sam's slowly closing, tired eyes, and forced what could be barely considered a smile. But, he knew that Sam would know what he was trying to do. He always did.
Sam looked back intently. Jerry could tell he was barely conscious, but he also knew that Sam would try to stay awake as long as he possibly could. Jerry managed to break eye contact with him for a split second, as he surveyed Sam's chest and stomach, blood oozing from several gunshot and stab wounds. Jerry repositioned his hands to apply pressure to as much of Sam's body as he could, and he leaned down so that his chest was against Sam's. He was holding him close to him, and he didn't want to let him go.
He could have been thinking about a million things at that moment. What had happened leading up to this point? What had caused this to happen? What had gone wrong? What can I do? What could have happened? Where was I? Why was he alone? Is Sam going to be alright? Is Sam going to be okay?
But, with a look that Jerry and Sam shared, the kind of look that can only be given and understood between best friends, Jerry was only thinking of one thing. And, it was exactly what Sam wanted him to be thinking of. It was the promise.
Jerry nodded quickly, assuring Sam that he understood. And, as he looked into Sam's desperate eyes, Jerry thought back to several months ago.
It had been at least eight months ago, maybe longer. Jerry had been sitting at his desk after a long shift, trying to complete some paper work. But, after a few hours, and barely any work completed, he had decided that he needed to just leave, go home, and do it on Monday instead. He would hate himself when he came into work on Monday to a stack of papers, but right then all he cared about was having a few drinks at the Penny, maybe getting in a game of poker with Oliver and Sam, and going home with Traci.
Jerry had packed up his stuff and looked around the office for Sam. After a quick search of the locker room, he thought that maybe Sam had already left, and he decided to make his way to the Penny. When he walked outside, he was startled quickly by someone seemingly sitting in the shadows, and after a few seconds, he knew it was Sam. His laugh gave him away.
Jerry had jumped quickly, before turning to face his friend. "Having fun in the shadows?" Jerry had asked as he walked toward him. Sam was sitting on the front of his truck. Of course.
"A little bit" Sam said. "Watching your face was pretty funny"
Jerry had laughed. "You heading to the Penny? I thought you were already gone. I checked the locker room but didn't see you. What are you doing out here?"
Sam had nodded. "Yea, I'm going. I'm leaving soon." There was something in his voice, some tone, that gave away his intentions. Jerry knew something was up. Anyone else may have missed it. But, Jerry and Sam had been friends for a while. Sam avoided Jerry's eyes, and instead looked at the pavement. Sam shrugged. By the look on Jerry's face, Sam knew that his friend was instructing him to go on.
"I, ugh, was waiting for you actually. I want to talk to you about something." Sam said, running his hands over his face before folding them across his chest. His giveaway.
"Okay" Jerry said curiously. "What is it? Is everything alright?" There was a tone of concern and worry in Jerry's voice. Jerry knew that Sam barely opened up to people. But when he did, he did. And, he only opened up to a few people. And, Jerry thought himself lucky to be included in those selective few.
"Yea, yea, everything's fine" Sam said. He was still looking at the ground adamantly. He looked at Jerry quickly, smiled nervously, and then looked away.
"Alright," Jerry said, "then what's going on man?"
"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately," Sam said. "And, I ugh, I want, to make sure of some stuff. I McNally and I have been, well, whatever we've been, for a while now. And, I care about her a lot. A lot. I know you understand that."
"Of course" Jerry said.
"And, that's why, if anything happens to me-" Sam put his hands up quickly in a 'stop' gesture. He didn't want Jerry in interject, saying things about how he was going to be okay, and nothing was going to happen to him. He just needed to make sure. "Please, just, let me finish,"
Jerry, who had been about to interject, nodded. He couldn't help but smile a little as well. Sam really did know him well.
"If anything happens to me, I want to make sure she's taken care of. I want someone to look out for her, help her. I just, I get worried sometimes. I just want to make sure she'd have people to look out for her, to protect her, you know? And, I know she's too proud to ever ask for help." Sam said. He brought his eyes up slowly to meet Jerry's. And, Jerry could hear a different tone in his voice now. The tone that he always knew was there, even when everyone else doubted him. The side of Sam that others couldn't see, and the side he often refused to show them. But, Jerry knew it was there. He'd defend that. It was the side of Sam that was sincere, honest, grateful, appreciative, and sympathetic.
Jerry nodded. He understood. "Too proud, huh? Kinda like someone else I know" Jerry said with a smile. Sam smirked. "But, I understand. You don't need to worry, man. Really, you don't. I'll be there, I'm telling you, I would look out for her. I'd make sure I would do everything I possibly could for her. We all would. She's important to all of us. We're family, Sam. You know that. But, don't think like that. Nothing's going to happen to you."
Sam shrugged. He bit his lip tightly. "But if it does, can you just promise me that you'll be the one to, well, tell her?"
Jerry nodded once slowly. He felt a certain tight pull at his heart and a sinking sensation overwhelm him, accompanied by a certain tightness in his throat, but he still nodded. "Of course. I promise. I'll be there. I'll help her. I'll take care of her."
"I know you will" Sam said. "It's just, if anything ever did happen to me, I'd want her to hear it from you. Someone I really care about. Someone she knows and cares about as well. I don't know why I've been thinking about it, I just have been. I guess, I don't know, things are really getting serious. And, I want to make sure, before, you know, anything happened."
Jerry nodded. He sighed slowly. "I completely understand. And, will you make the same promise for me? Anything ever happens to me, will you be the one to tell Traci?"
Sam nodded without a hint of hesitation. "Absolutely"
"Good" Jerry said with a smile as he patted Sam on the back. "Now that we have that taken care of"
"Just one more thing, Jer" Sam said. He looked at the ground again. "If, ugh, McNally and I ever have kids some day-"
"Is she-" Jerry interrupted quickly.
"No, no" Sam said. "No, but if we ever do have kids someday, you promise me you'll be there if something goes wrong?"
"Sammy, man" Jerry said. "I'll be there from day one. Like it or not, I'm Uncle Jerry. Those kids will love me, maybe even more than they love you. I'd be on the lookout."
Sam smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way"
"Alright then" Jerry smiled. It was different to say the least, to hear Sam talking about having kids and getting into a serious relationship. But, after all, it was McNally they were talking about. She really did bring out the best in him.
"So, you're heading to the Penny?" Sam asked as he slid off the hood of his truck and walked toward the driver's door.
Jerry nodded. Sam gestured to his truck. "I'll drive"
"Sounds good" Jerry said, as he climbed in.
Jerry refocused on the current time, on the current situation. He was brought out of his flashback with the noise of Sam's rattling breath. Suddenly, Jerry wished they could go back. He wished everything was alright, that they were getting ready to go to the Penny, talking about their girlfriends. Not this. Not sitting on the decrepit floor of some dilapidated old building, holding Sam's body against his tightly, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. He had wished mere hours ago just to know. He just couldn't deal with not knowing anymore. Having Sam out there, not knowing where he was, or whether or not he was okay. Now, he wasn't so sure. Would he rather not know if his best friend was okay, tormented by the ideas of what could have possibly happened, or would he rather sit there, holding his friend close to him, covered in blood, listening to his ragged breaths that just might be his last. He didn't know.
They had lost the feed on Sam's surveillance. They had all rushed to Sam's undercover apartment, but it had been too late. Sam was missing. He wasn't there. Jerry had felt that pit in his stomach, his heart was aching. He remembered what Sam had told him. What Sam has asked him to do. 'If anything goes wrong, will you be the one to tell McNally?'
Jerry had run his hands through his hair, he took a deep breath, and kicked a chair. He wasn't good at this part. He never had been. Once his friends were in danger, he lost it. He couldn't control it. He had to do something, anything. But, he didn't know where to start. He still felt like he was going to throw up. His best friend was missing. His best friend, Sam, was missing. He didn't know what he was supposed to do with that. But, he did know he thought he was going to be sick. He hadn't felt like this ever before in his life, not that he could remember. But, he needed to keep it together in order to find him. And, he had to find him.
But, he remembered again what Sam had said. It was playing over and over again in his head. 'Will you be the one to tell McNally? Will you be the one to tell McNally? Will you be the one to tell McNally?' He figured he'd start there.
Jerry immediately pulled out his phone. He speed dialed Andy's number, and listened to the phone ring several times before he heard her voice mail. He sighed.
He didn't want to tell her through a voice mail. No, he couldn't do that. But, he needed her to call him. So, he started a brief, not too detailed message. He wasn't sure what to say. But he figured he'd just wing it.
"Andy, it's Jerry. I, ugh, need you to call me back as soon as you get this. Something's happened, and I really need, I ugh, I really, I, can you just call me as soon as you get this?"
That's when Andy walked into the apartment, pushing past the other officers, and calling for Sam hysterically. He turned and faced her and she ran over toward him quickly.
"Jerry, what's going on? Where's Sam?"
The fear in her voice had made his stomach sink and his heart throb even more than it already was. He took her by the arm and started to walk toward the door with her. Then, Boyd had started shouting. Jerry had tried to get her out of the room, she didn't need to be hearing whatever it was that he was yelling. But, she fought against him, and he had to wrap both his arms around her middle as he walked toward the door, pulling and pushing her out of the room with him.
All the while, Andy was screaming, "Where's Sam, where is he?"
Jerry wanted to scream the same thing. Just let loose, run around, kick some more chairs, throw his hands in the air, and yell at everyone, "Where's Sam?" He felt Andy struggle against him, and then she finally let him take her outside. She clung to him for almost a half an hour. She had cried, and cried, and cried, screamed, and yelled. Jerry had just held her. She cried into his shoulder. But, he forced himself to keep it together. He had to for Sam. He needed to find him. He just had to. He also remembered what Sam had asked him several months back, and he held Andy close to him.
It had been a few more minutes before anyone else from the division had shown up, and even then, Andy was reluctant to leave Jerry. She continued to look at him with those sad, devastated eyes, and hold onto him tightly. And, he held onto her. Whether she knew it or not, he needed her just as much as she needed him.
But, after a few minutes, Chris was able to convince Andy to go with him, and to let Jerry go figure out what had happened to Sam. Jerry had given her a hug.
"I'll find him" Jerry told her.
Andy nodded furiously, but started crying harder. "Please, please, Jerry, please" Jerry felt his heart tug at her words and the tension in her voice, so drenched in sadness and desperation.
Jerry had helped search for Sam for the next day and a half straight. He refused to sleep more than twenty minutes at a time, and even then, it wasn't intentional. He couldn't. How could he sleep? How could they expect him too?
And then, after hours of searching, they had gotten a lead. Some property that Brennan's wife had owned. Jerry didn't need more than the address, and with it, he was the first one to run out to his car and drive off.
When they had arrived, Jerry had been the first to enter, along with some other officers. He had cleared the first room, and went through the rest of the house, frantically looking for Sam. He found him after he checked a few rooms, he was being beaten by Brennan on the ground. Jerry quickly made his way over to Brennan, followed by several other officers, and together they ripped him off. The other officers cuffed him as Jerry attended to Sam.
"Sam , Sam , can you hear me?! It's Jerry!" Jerry had said, yelling at Sam loudly. Jerry half dove and dropped to the ground quickly. He sat next to Sam and surveyed all of his wounds. Jerry noticed the various wounds on Sam's body and the bruises and cuts across his face.
"Sam , wake up!" Jerry had said, nervously shouting. His voice was frantic and panicky. He nervously pressed his hand against Sam's neck. He stirred a little, and Jerry could feel a pulse. Then Sam breathed a very deep, raspy breath.
"Sam!" Jerry yelled in relief. "You're going to be okay, you're going to be okay! It's Jerry! We're going to help you! I'm going to help you!"
Sam opened his eyes for a second and looked at Jerry. Sam swallowed hard, and Jerry watched him wince. He knew it was getting harder and harder for him to breathe.
"Hey, hey, it's okay, Sam! It's okay!" Jerry said, and he could start to hear the panic that coated his words. It scared him. He just hoped that Sam couldn't hear how nervous he was. Jerry could tell that Sam's breathing was slowing. His breathing was becoming raspier. The paramedics needed to get there soon.
Jerry wrenched his eyes away from Sam's for a moment. He looked around the room and saw several other officers huddled around him. Some were standing near Brennan. He didn't know who they were. He didn't bother to concentrate on their faces. "Where are the paramedics?" He shouted to any of them, all of them.
Jerry looked back at Sam, saw him straining to keep his eyes open. "Where are the medics?" Jerry asked again. His voice broke. And it was quiet. The emotion was overpowering his voice. He started to breath heavier and he couldn't control it.
Jerry looked back at Sam and tried to smile as much as he possibly could. His lip barely moved. He had to struggle to keep at least a small smile. He just didn't want to frown. He didn't want Sam to see how scarred he was, how upset. But, he wasn't exactly sure how good he was doing. But he couldn't cry. Even though the tears were there, welled in his eyes. He couldn't let them fall. He couldn't let Sam see them.
"It's okay" Jerry said quickly, his voice growing more strained. There was nothing he could do. Absolutely nothing. His friend was about to die, and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. No matter how many times he applied pressure to his wounds, or how many times he said he was going to be okay. Jerry knew that. And so did Sam.
And that's when they shared a look.
Jerry knew Sam wasn't in good shape. And, his voice was wavering out of control. But, he continued to apply pressure to Sam's wounds. He had to. And, he held him tightly. "It's okay"
Just then Sam grabbed Jerry's hand. It must have taken as much energy as he possibly had. Sam looked into Jerry's eyes and spoke in only a way that best friends can. Just a look. A long, sad, understanding, informative, grateful, look. A knowing look. No words were even necessary. They starred at each other for a few long seconds. But, those seconds felt like minutes to Jerry. And, with that look, they both understood. They both knew what was being asked, what was conveyed, and they both knew that the other understood as well.
"I promise" Jerry said as strongly as he could. His voice broke again. He grabbed Sam's hand and refused to look away from Sam's face. Sam understood. And, he had known Jerry would as well. Sam tried his best to nod, and he managed a slight one. Then, Sam looked to Jerry. Jerry continued to look into Sam's eyes until he closed them slowly. Jerry felt a tear slide down his face, followed by a few more, and then more. But, he didn't care. Jerry felt the grip on his hand loosen, but he wouldn't untangle his hand from Sam's. Jerry stayed there, pressing Sam against him for another few minutes. He didn't want to get up. He didn't want to leave. He continued to look at Sam's face, and he just looked at him for a few long minutes.
Jerry had no idea how much time had passed or how long he had been pressing Sam against him, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn't need to turn around to know who it was, but he did anyway.
Oliver didn't say anything. And he wasn't planning on it. He wasn't going to give Jerry this big speech, or tell him to get up, or walk away, or to go get cleaned up, or give his statement. He was going to just let him stay there as long as he needed to, as long as he wanted to. He was just letting him know he was there. And, Jerry knew that.
Jerry sat up a little, so that he wasn't pressed against Sam's chest anymore. But, he still didn't move his hand. He continued to look at Sam for a few more minutes, tears flowing down his face. He felt Oliver's grip on his shoulder. He sniffed. More tears ran down his face, but he didn't bother wiping them. He didn't care. He barely even noticed. That wasn't what he was focused on.
Jerry remained sitting there, next to Sam for a few more minutes. He couldn't take his eyes off of him. He wasn't even sure he had blinked. He wasn't thinking about anything, he couldn't. His mind was clearer than it had ever been. He felt stuck. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He couldn't do anything. He felt as though he was in a trance, completely unaware of his surroundings. All he was focused on was Sam.
Then he heard someone's voice. He wasn't exactly sure whose it was. He wasn't paying attention to that. But he heard the words. "McNally's here"
Jerry closed his eyes tightly. He recalled the last thing that he had said to Sam. 'I promise'. He nodded slowly, opened his eyes, and slowly placed Sam's hand back on the ground. He looked at Sam for a few more seconds. He remembered back to that night where he stood outside the division talking to Sam. He remembered the sound of Sam's voice. 'Promise me you'll be the one to, well, tell her'. Jerry nodded slowly as he stood up even slower. "I promise, buddy. I promise." He said softly.
Jerry turned and faced Oliver, whose hand was still on his shoulder. He shook his head. "Don't let her come in here. Don't let her see him like this." A few officers standing near them nodded and made their way toward the door.
Jerry took a deep breath. He started to walk toward the door slowly. He needed to tell her. He had to tell her.
Oliver didn't bother with saying 'You don't have to do this. Or, you don't have to be the one to tell her,' because he knew that he did. And, Jerry appreciated that. With a sympathetic nod, Oliver followed Jerry from the room and toward the door.
Jerry walked out of the house and toward the patrol car that McNally was running out of. She ran directly to him, and he walked slowly toward her, meeting her half way. The overwhelming sensation of sadness came over him, pulling on him, sinking him. He tried to take a deep breath but his breath caught in his throat. It was sharp.
Andy reached Jerry, grabbing his arms with hers. "Where is he? Where's Sam?!" Andy yelled, her voice soaked with her desperation. The tears running down her face falling in her mouth. Jerry squeezed her arms tightly, and offered her a sympathetic look.
"Andy" He said, his voice breaking. His tone said it all. He cocked his head, shaking it slowly from side to side, "Andy, he, he didn't make it"
Andy stared at him. She had known the moment he said her name. But this confirmed it. She couldn't accept it. She just couldn't. She yelled out. She screamed. Everything else was silent. Nobody said anything. All that could be heard was Andy's screams, her sobbing. She slammed against Jerry quickly. Trying to get past him.
"Help him! Help him! Hurry! Let me through! Jerry, stop, stop, I need to see him! Help!" Andy screamed. It was a deafening scream, a heart wrenching, stomach dropping, breath catching scream. Listening to it made everything within Jerry ache with sadness, such deep sadness. He thought he was going to fall. He thought he was going to just drop. And he didn't know if he would ever be able to get back up. He wasn't even sure that he wanted to.
Andy continued to struggle against Jerry, trying to make her way by him. He held her tightly, struggling with her, and gripping her tighter. He couldn't let her into that house. He couldn't let her see him like that.
"Jerry! Let me through!" Andy screamed again. She hit Jerry hard against the chest with her fists. She hit him again, and again, and again. "You said you'd find him! You need to help him! Move! Let me through!" Andy screamed, her voice becoming more shrill. The tears falling faster and faster.
Jerry's heart sank. It was harder and harder for him to hold her. He was on the verge of tears again himself, and seeing Andy like this was absolutely crushing. He held her tight and just let her hit him. He could feel it. And, he half liked it. Just because it made him feel something. Anything. He wasn't completely numb, he wasn't in a trance.
Andy continued to punch against Jerry's chest. She hit him with both fists and he wrapped his arms around her. "Andy, Andy" His voice was soft. "Andy, he's gone"
With these words, Andy let her head fall back. She let out an ear piercing yell that cut the silence surrounding them. Everyone looked at her. Of course, they already were. Oliver watched from the porch. Frank stood a few feet behind him. Noelle was next to him. Chris and Dov had arrived in the other car, they watched from the driveway. Gail looked over from her car. Traci had been in the car with Andy. She was a few feet behind her. Nobody said anything. Nobody moved. They all just stood there and listened to her scream. They were all feeling her pain. They all watched, the tears soaking some of their faces. But their eyes said it all. They were apologetic. Understanding. Sympathetic. Sorrowful.
Andy slammed her fists against Jerry's chest one more time, weaker than before. "Sam!" She screamed, her voice overtaken by her sobs. And then she crumbled into him. She let her face rest against his chest, pressed tightly into his shirt, and she slowly started sinking to the ground. Jerry, arms wrapped around her, guided her down softly, sitting down to the ground with her.
They sat there for a while. Just sitting there. Andy was crying into Jerry's chest, and he had a hand pressed onto the back of her head gently. His other arm was wrapped around her back. He couldn't let her go. He didn't want to. He needed her. She needed him.
Andy's screams had quieted, and now she sat sobbing into Jerry's shoulder. He didn't know exactly what to do. He didn't know exactly what was going on. He couldn't really accept it. He couldn't really process it. His friend died. Sam, his best friend just died. Sam was dead. And, as he sat there huddled with Andy, another wave of realization hit him hard.
He lost his best friend. He was gone. He lost him. Sam was gone. He was gone. There was nothing he could do. Jerry could feel the overwhelming urge to throw up come over him again, and he could feel the tears slipping down his face.
And suddenly, he was crying as well. "It's okay, Andy" Jerry said, his voice stained and full of emotion. He held her tightly against him, and he let the tears fall. He sniffed loudly and tried to take a deep breath. It was shaky, and it hurt. It was sharp, sudden. It felt like a knife jabbing him in the chest. He could barely breathe.
Andy continued to cry into his shoulder. She had wrapped her arms around his neck, and sat there completely huddled with him, crying. She couldn't stop.
Jerry pressed his hand tightly against Andy's head as she leaned against his chest. He thought back to what Sam had said. He thought back to when they had first met each other back in college. Back to all the dances they attended together, the baseball games, the nights of fun. The times they had gone fishing out on Sam's uncle's boat, and the way they looked ridiculous when they showed to the bar dressed in the strangest costumes they could find for Jerry's twenty-first birthday. Their first day at the academy, and that old, disgusting apartment that they could barely afford but rented together anyway. The first day as rookies, and the first time they were partnered together. The time they had locked themselves out of the squad car, and had to call their staff sergeant. All the times at the Penny buying each other drinks, and the poker nights where they'd each try to convince all the others that they were the best. The time they celebrated when Jerry had been promoted to detective. The day Jerry confided in Sam about how he felt about Traci. And the time Sam had told him his feelings for Andy. The double date they had all gone on a few months back. And, the night they had talked in the parking lot after work. The promise that they had made.
Jerry squeezed Andy against him. "It'll be okay, Andy. I'm here for you." Jerry said softly, his voice shaking uncontrollably, his face covered in tears that were slowly falling down his cheek. "I promise".
Alright, guys what did you think? Did you like it so far? Thanks for reading, please review, and let me know what you think. I really appreciate people's thoughts on my writing! I feel like Sam and Jerry would have a promise like this between each other, and SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS, I thought that Sam should have been the one to tell Traci when Jerry died. Tell me what you guys think! I'd really like to see what you think so far!