Sheldon Swifties: XVII. "Family Affair…"
Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.
Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…
"So…?" Amy, anxiously glancing round the half-circle of bestie, bestie's likely doomed to suffer on-again, off-again lover, Rajesh, and the fellow without a Ph.D…What's his name?...Who always seems to hang here…And his little wife, "Strawberries" Bernadette, the second-rate dabbler in yeast/failed amateur spy…
Depressing to think her romantic fate might with rest with these…
Still all she had…
"You all know Sheldon and have met some of his family…What do you think I should do?..."
"Well…" Howard pondered… "Lets see…You have an invite from Sheldon's mom to go down to Galveston and 'meet up' with the Cooper family at one good ole 'shindig' of a family reunion where, with Mrs. Cooper's insistent bludgeoning, your beloved Sheldon may at last id you as his 'steady' irretrevilibly before the gathered 'klan'…Am I getting this right?"…smile…
"Essentially…" Amy, carefully…
"Good…Well, I say…Go for it…" firm nod…
:Leonard and Penny eyeing him…
"Really?..." Amy, eagerly…
Perhaps Howard has had insight granted him by the Powers that Be during his space mission…In any case, it sounds like the way I wanted to go…
"If you want to affix our Sheldon's antlers above your fireplace, so to speak…As impossible as it is for me to conceive of any human female voluntarily doing so…The way to it is through Mom or Meemaw…And both will be present…" he pointed out…
Hmmn…Leonard eyed Penny…
Not bad…
"But what if his family…What if…" gulp… "What if…Meemaw…Doesn't like me?..."
"Well then, thankfully Raj here is well versed in the construction of funeral pyres for self-immolation…"
"Howard…" Leonard frowned…
"Just doing my bit for undying romance here…" Howard noted…
"That 'self-immolation''s a bad thing, huh?" Penny hissed to Leonard…
"Well…I am inclined to try…" Amy noted…
"That's the spirit…" Howard, beaming… "I've no doubt…None whatsoever…That you will fit in just fine…"
Cut to fantasy shot…
The Cooper klan…er Clan…Since the unfortunate FBI incident of 1977…Gathering…Galveston…
"We accept her, we accept her…One of us, one of us…" general cry…
Amy with a rather unhappy to be forced to it, Sheldon, rather herself rapturously happy, in the midst of the various members of species Cooper…Several braindeadly brutal-looking male and female cousins in neo-Nazi style skin cuts and leather jackets…A few hideously misshapen, congenitally malformed by inbreeding, members in jeans and suspenders, holding washboards…A number of grievously wounded, yet still somehow allowed to tote guns, gun-holding types in baseball caps and hunting jackets…Various urchins of the sort offered to Scrooge by the Ghost of Christmas Present running about, blowing noses noisily…Several relatively normal-looking salesmen types with nervous, pasty-faced, plastic-sprayed-looking wives trying to look happy to be there…Missy, radiant as always…A few jailbait type young girls in dangerously constrictive jeans looking bored…The religious section, clustered about Mary…Guys in black and beige polyester suits urging each other to 'accept Jesus' and 'pray away the gay' while their wives, plastic-sprayed-looking but with huge hairdos, grimly pray…
"Yep…" Howard nodded… "Amy, you will have no problems…Trust me…You will fit right in…"