The fans of the show became friends with me, and I started listening to fan music like WoodenToaster, TheLivingTombstone, MandoPony, EuroBeat, ect. I loved it. It started making me depressed also, because as soon as the episodes were over, I had to face reality. Murders, terrorism, racism, cursing, all of that. The world of technicolor ponies was a meer fantasy.
My street isn't at all technicolor. It's dark and gloomy, rubbish everywhere, kids aged 4-15 swearing at the elderly. It made me sick inside. My parents had died in a car crash, and I only lived with my older disabled brother, Derek. I was at the point of killing myself. What's the point in living? This generation is disgusting.
I get picked on at school a lot because of having no parents and a disabled brother. I felt bad for Derek, he is a really nice person. But no, they throw things at him, call him names and sometimes even trip him over. I sometimes hear him crying in his room in the night. He doesn't understand what he's done, and neither do I.
Derek is fine, so don't worry. I'd do anything to make sure he was okay. He lives in some care home, and gets washed and dressed and fed properly. He's away from the bullies now, which is brilliant.
On 2nd January 2010, I finally did it. I hung up a noose. I was sick of life. I had started cutting around 3 months earlier, and now was the time to end the pain, misery and bullying from my life. I'm not wanted.
I was just about to do it until I saw a yellow figure catch the corner of my eye. I swear I saw it move. I looked around and found my old Fluttershy toy figure. I smiled weakly as tears strained down my face. Fluttershy had always been my favorite pony, her kindness was a true amazement.
There was something about how her ocean colored eyes stared at me. I stopped crying, and looked at her for around 3 minutes. It was like she was telling me that it wasn't the right thing to do. I hugged her and sat on my bed. Fluttershy had saved my life.
I strolled into school with my Fluttershy in my backpack, I needed her to get me through the day. Suddenly I saw him, Liam Henstock. The worst bully ever. He looked at me and smirked, and shouted "Hey dogface, where's your retarded brother?" a few of his friends started chucking. I ignored him and moved on, trying to stop tears escaping my eyes. I thought of Fluttershy, and I couldn't help but take the figure out and cuddled it.
Of course Liam saw it. My life was over. He ran towards me, grabbed the Fluttershy and showed the school. "Hey everyone! Dogface has a pony! You're so gay." he then snapped the Fluttershy. I actually felt like fainting. Fluttershy, the figure that stopped me from taking my life and helping me move on, was gone.
I couldn't hold back. I swung my fist at Liam and kicked him. I had given him a black eye, popped lip, nosebleed, fractured his arm and gave him some bruises. I felt awful, but I couldn't help it. It was like something took over me.
I picked up the Fluttershy pieces and ran through the fire exit, running past the school gaurds and running like hell. Why was I doing this? I don't know. Maybe it's because the one ray of sunshine in my life was gone. Maybe it was because I was a maniac.
The Fluttershy was gone. There's no point in life anymore. I just want to die. I got home and violently kicked some cupboards, smashing dishes and threw myself on the bed sobbing. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was a monster.
Fluttershy is gone. No point in life anymore. No kind hearted pony to guide me anymore. I took a deep breath and put my head into the loophole. That was the end of Ben Eastman.