I already had three fourth of the next chapter of my other story "TOW The Lie" done and then my hard drive crashed. grrr And I was so mad that I had to let out some of my frustration. This is the result. If Chandler seems to be out of character that's because it's intentioned. He had a different childhood then the original Hugsy, uhm, Chandler. ups lol. ;-) And that's what this story is about. 'What would happen if…' It's Chandler's POV. Except the flashbacks, which are third person. Ok, now read, enjoy and hopefully review at the end.

Disclaimer: None of the characters used in this story are mine.

You probably want to know why I'm here where I am right now. Ok, I'll tell you. But be warned. It's not a pretty story.

I think, no, I know it all started when I was about four years old. I remember that my parents were always fighting with each other. And I think there was just to much rage in both of them. The result was that they often, well almost always relieved their anger on me. No, don't get me wrong. They didn't beat me or anything else physical. Although sometimes I think it would have been better then what they really did. The way they treated me affected me my whole life. They took away all my self-esteem. But thinking about it, it's more likely that they never let me build any confidence in the first place.

You don't know what I'm talking about? Oh well, I guess you grew up in a more or less normal family then. Ok, let me take you back to a normal day during my childhood.

Charles and Nora Bing emerged from their separate bedrooms at the same time on a Wednesday morning, both on their way to the big bathroom. Nora scoffed at the sight of her 'loved' husband while he just rolled his eyes.

"I hope you don't think that you are going into the bathroom first." Nora seethed.

"You bet I am. I always use it this time around." Charles replied stepping in front of his wife, looking down at her.

"Well I have an early meeting today and all my stuff is in this bathroom. So you have to deal with it!" Nora was getting louder with each word.

"Oh, I don't think so! If you have an early appointment you should have gotten up earlier. I'm not running late just because you think you can meddle with the bathroom using schedule." Charles throw back.

While all of this was going on six years old Chandler Bing was lying in his bed with his pillow over his head, trying desperately to block out the sounds of his parents voices. He knew just to well what it meant when they fought already so soon in the morning. They would be irritated all day.

He heard a door slam and his father crying out. Apparently his mother had decided that the discussion was over and locked herself in the bathroom. But Chandler didn't care who was in the bathroom, he was more concerned about the one standing in the hall. He was sure they would come looking for him soon. And as if he was psychic, right then Charles opened the door and entered his sons bedroom.

"Chandler! What are you still doing in bed. You really are a good-for-nothing!" His father barked. "Now see that you get ready or you can walk to school."

Chandler hurriedly got out of bed. "But that is too far to walk, I wouldn't get there in time even if I'd go right now." Chandler said worriedly.

"I don't care! If you're not ready by the time I leave you can see how you get there." Charles said before turning around to leave. "It wouldn't make much of a difference anyway. You are just like your mother. You are just to stupid for school." That wasn't true by far. Chandler worked so hard to get his parents approval that he was one of the best students. But they just didn't care enough to recognize his effort. And Chandler knew better than to speak up. He was burnt to often by his parents to even try reasoning with them.

So he just hung his head and went to the second bathroom down the hall. Behind him he could hear his father banging at the door of the other toilette, yelling at Nora to hurry up.

After Chandler was dressed he went to the kitchen to make himself two sandwiches. One for school and one to eat right there. He just finished breakfast when his mother came into the kitchen and walked over to the counter.

"Chandler! Why can't you clean up after you made yourself something to eat?" She hissed while wiping some crumbs toward the sink.

"I just wanted to…" Chandler started, only to be interrupted by his mother.

"Save it! I can't hear your excuses anymore. When are you going to do something right? You are such a disappointment." Nora sighed. "You are just like your father."

Chandler bit his bottom lip to keep the threatening tears at bay. Why couldn't he do everything right, so that his parents would love him? He wished he could at least do some things right once in a while. But he slowly lost hope that he would ever be able to do something the way he was supposed to. No matter how hard he tried, it never worked out.

Silently Chandler took his bag from the chair and went to the front door to wait for his father.

And that was pretty much what my childhood was like. When I was nine my parents got divorced. That meant that they couldn't put me down constantly. But by that time there wasn't much damage to do anyway. Five years of regularly criticism had left their mark. And then came the loneliness. My father left to Las Vegas to open a gay burlesque show. I didn't know what that meant but it had to be better then living with my mom and me. And my mother was always out partying with college boys. By the time I started High School she sent me away to an all boys boarding school. So she just had to deal with me during summer and the holidays.

At boarding school I shared my room with five other boys. They learned pretty soon how to take advantage of my nonexistence self-worth. So I became their, well bitch. I had to clean the room, make all the beds and pretty much always do their homework. So as you can most likely see, they had no respect for me. They always ignored me as if I weren't there or they made jokes about me. I just stayed by myself most of the times and hoped for graduation day to come. I spent days and nights dreaming about the time when I could go to college. Then it would all change. Then there would be no one to tell me what to do. Or so I thought.

"Chandler, I can't believe you are already going to college." Nora whined picking at her salad. She was sitting across her son at a table in a small New Yorker restaurant. "You grew up so quickly. I still see you as my little boy."

"Maybe that's because you haven't really seen me since I started High School." Chandler mumbled into his glass before taking a sip.

"Did you say something, Chandler?" Nora asked. But went on before he could answer. "And that you don't even want to move into a dorm room. Are you sure you are going to be ok. Living alone with this stranger, what's his name, Kip, in an apartment?" His mother rambled on. "Cause I sure hope not that you're coming back home in a month cause it didn't work out." Nora pointed her fork at Chandler.

"No, mother. Don't you worry." Chandler replied with his eyes cast downwards. He hadn't seen that one coming. And it really hurt to hear his mother say something like that. In his years away he had almost forgotten how it was like in the presence of his parents. He was so glad to finally be on his own. And his roommate Kip seemed like a nice guy.

Two and a half months later Chandler was sitting in his room adding the last touches to a paper due the next day. He faintly heard Kip emerging from his room shuffling towards the fridge. Moments later Chandler was interrupted by the fridge door slamming. He already knew what would come next.

"Chandler! Could you come out here for a sec?" Kip yelled with a cold hint in his voice. Chandler sighed and pushed himself away from his desk.

"What is it?" He asked his roommate after he entered the living room.

"I thought I had told you to buy more beer. But here is no beer." Kip gestured to the fridge before walking over to where Chandler stood. "What is your problem? Are you to dumb to run the errands I tell you to get?" He nearly shouted directly in Chandlers face.

Chandler just stood there with sagging shoulders, his head hanging, feeling like he did when he was six years old. 'Why can't I do anything right? I should know better by now. I guess I really am stupid.'

TBC...

Ok, that's the beginning. Can Chandler escape his personal hell or is he doomed to be abused and taken advantage of till his end? Should I continue or not? You have to tell me. And criticism is always welcome. As long as it's constructive. ;-)