I can hear Sam screaming, crying. I am just standing there looking at the knife on the floor. Sam is sprawled out across the floor, blood pouring out.
I can feel his breath on my neck. He whispers in my ear. "Go on, walk away" "you did the right thing" "
"Good morning Scarlet" The nurse said, as she walked into the room waking me up. I didn't reply, didn't even look at her as she walked in holding her chart, reading about me. Why does she have the right to know about me?
"I don't want to be here, I am perfectly normal. I didn't do it". I tell her again, she pretends I have said nothing, like she has for the past two weeks, every time I say that to her. After she increases the amount of medicine in the bags for the tubes which go into my arm, she stands back and stares at me.
Why?
I don't understand why I am here; In Brandon Mental Health Unit.
She writes something else into her chart, after staring at me, and walks out – apparently satisfied. The moment she has gone, Tom walks in, with his signature grin plastered on his face.
"Alright Scar?" He asks me.
"No, why am I here?"
"I don't know, I tried to ask the nurses but they won't tell me, neither will your parents".
"I am completely sane, I don't hear voices in my head, or see stuff which isn't there" I assure him.
"I know honey, I am not sure either".
I sit up, get out of the bed and walk straight to the mirror in the bathroom.
I look awful. My long straight black hair looks an awful mess – everywhere, my skin is still pale and lifeless, and there are bags under my electric blue eyes. The cuts are still on my arms, and my face still holds the bruises. I feel around my ribs, wincing at the pain. Just like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that and yet I still can't remember how they got there.
Walking back into the room, Tom is sitting in the chair next to my bed, is bouncing a tennis ball.
He looks at me as I walk in. "You know you shouldn't look into that mirror, because you won't like what you see".
"Why won't I like what I see?" I reply.
"Because, it's not going to tell you anything new, you still don't remember that night. You only look in there to convince yourself you couldn't do what the doctor said you had".
I feel the tears start to form in my eyes. I wish I could remember.
"Do you think I did it?" I ask him.
He walks up to me and hugs me tightly. "No, of course I don't. But someone did, perhaps it was Allie".
"No". I shake my head. "It couldn't be her, could it?".
Dr. Sanchez walks in my room as I am talking to Tom, and stares at me very strangely.
"Who are you talking to Scarlet?" He asks me like I am a child not like I am 16.
"I am talking to Tom". I tell him, Tom is still in front of me.
"Right okay" He keeps looking at me weirdly and writes something down in his notebook he keeps in his front pocket, next to his name badge.
"Is he still here at the moment" He asks me.
"Of course, Tom is sitting back in the chair next to me making funny faces". I laugh at him and stick my tongue out.
He grins at me, and then walks out of the room. My eyes never leave his face. I can't believe he is my guardian angel. I hear someone calling my name, but I zone them out.
The colours are closing in on me again. They are whispering things.
"You shouldn't be in here, you are not mad"
"Let's escape from here and runaway"
"I want to drink the blood of the innocent"
"I wonder what that blade would feel like against your skin"
"The wolves are coming for you, and they will tear your heart out and eat it"
I become submersed in the colours, and the things they are telling me. I want to run away, I want to feel the blade, and I want to scream as I can hear the wolves panting, edging closer and closer, I can feel the ground beneath me shake as they approach, and all the colours fade away. The growling, becomes louder and louder, and then the first one comes in to sight. It is fully black, and its legs unseeable. Its eyes are ice cold, and it is still charging for me. I want to run away from it. But I can't, my brain won't let me, and I am frozen in place. I feel the desire to let it rip me open, and yet want to scream. The rest of the wolves have caught up to the first one, and I can feel there teeth sinking in to my skin…
"Scarlet, what's wrong?, Can you tell me what's happening?" The world has returned to my bedroom, with Doctor Sanchez, leaning over me. I seem to be crammed into a tiny ball on the chair.
My breathing is heavy and uneven. I slowly move my hands from the side of my brain and place them onto my knees.
"Scarlet talk to me, what just happened?" Dr Sanchez looks really concerned. I can't tell him, he will definitely think I am mad, and then he will lock me up in this room forever, and then he will make me take pills all the time and then, and then. I start to hyperventilate, the world is spinning around in my head. I feel sick. I want to cut to make this pain go away. I want to be relieved of it. I want to feel okay again. I want Tom.
The last thing I feel, is something injected into my arm before I pass out.
AND THE WORLD RETURNS TO DARKNESS.