"Steve is the kind of guy I would have killed in my day," Natasha said as she tossed daggers into a bulls eye across the room as if they were darts. "I would have stared at him with big wide eyes and asked him to spare me, maybe I would have even faked a few tears, then I'd put the gun to his head and pull the trigger."
"But I almost did kill him," Bucky argued. He was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, eyes staring down on his metal arm. "I almost left him dead in the ocean."
"But you didn't," Natasha argued. "I almost killed Clint. I've almost gotten him killed a thousand times over. You can't blame your self for things you almost do."
"And what about what I am?" Bucky asked. His voice was a little hoarse as he tried to contain his own emotion. "I'm not even completely human anymore."
"You think that I am?" Natasha turned to look at him. "You may have had your memories wiped, but I was systematically overwritten. I was trained to kill until it was my own mind state. I was pushed until sympathy was purged from my veins, empathy no more than a weapon, my natural state is manipulating others. Even my honesty is calculated!" She looked away from him as she continued. "Every time I talk to him, I lie. I pretend that I'm someone he can trust when I'm really the person that thinks about how I can kill him every time we're in the same room."
"But you were strong enough to fight it," Bucky answered. "You were strong enough to break out of that mind state and you're strong enough to fight it off every time the instinct returns." Bucky stared at his hands, one metal and one flesh, holding them side by side. "I don't know that I am..."
"And you never will if you don't try." She answered softly.
"You two really need to give yourselves more credit," Tony said from the other side of the room. He was bent over a table working on one of his gauntlets and didn't look up to face them. "You think someone normal could be with our Steve? He's a super soldier. He fought in a war and was frozen in ice. No one comes out of that unscathed, not even him. If anything, I'm a worse fit for Steve than you two."
"Oh yes, tell us how the great genius Tony Stark is unworthy of Captain America," Loki said derisively. He stood from the chair he was sitting in, setting his book aside as he watched Tony. "I'd love to see you make yourself less desirable than two assassins and a warlord."
"Alright, fine." Tony answered, putting down is tools and looking at them all. Loki was looking at him challengingly, Bucky curiously, and Natasha was turned away completely, pulling her knives out of the specially made dart board he'd given her. "Steve is this great hero, more than what just any guy could be. He's a symbol. He has to lie every time he steps out as Captain America. He has to be bigger, better, stronger than anyone should have to be while hiding the fact that he's seen more than most people ever have to. You think he's going to relate to someone like me? A selfish, arrogant, know-it-all that's never been in a real conflict even once in life and used money to solve all his problems?"
"You're forgetting the fact that you left all that behind to become Iron Man," Natasha told him. "And he may have thought that before, but he knows you now. He knows that you're actually kinda considerate when you want to be, that you want to make up for your mistakes."
"And he knows the same thing for all of you," Tony replied. "I have nothing over you. Nat, you're smoking hot, Bucky was literally his best friend, and Loki-"
"Loki tried to subject and brain wash him," Loki said firmly, cutting Tony off. "Loki tried to kill all his friends. Loki, actually, is an inhuman monster."
"You're not a monster," Tony said with an eye roll.
"Your people may disagree."
"Please. I saw the way Steve looked at you that one time you nearly drained your magic. He thinks your blue form is walking art. Ever looked in one of his sketchbooks?" Tony questioned him.
Loki pressed his lips together and looked away.
"Steve could have a beautiful man that is literal out of this world, a beautiful woman that could have his back better than anyone else, and an attractive, genius celebrity." Bucky listed off. "Why would he even consider me?"
"Because you are his attractive best friend?" Loki suggested.
"Who could have his back just as well as the beautiful woman?" Natasha added.
"Besides, Steve's made it pretty clear what he thinks of me," Tony said.
"A friend and comrade in arms that he would risk his life for?" Loki questioned with a raised eyebrow.
"Steve has never risked his life for me," Tony said. "He risked his life for Bucky, he risked his life with you, Nat, but he wouldn't do that with me."
"You fought an invasion together," Loki objected. "My invasion."
"Not that he had a choice," Tony muttered.
"You're arguing over the wrong things," Natasha said. "Think about what you can offer him. I couldn't give him a family, I'm... ruined now. I don't know how to love things, I break everyone I touch, even Clint! I'm horrible with children, always paranoid, I'm more liable to actually kill him one day than I am to give any comfort to him. Tony, you could at least provide for him, Bucky could comfort and understand him, hell, Loki at least knows what's like to have a family."
"A family that I failed to protect," Loki said softly.
"Steve would help you protect them, this time." Natasha said. "I'm... empty inside."
"I don't even have most of my memories of him!" Bucky exclaimed. "I don't even have most of my memories at all! I don't even know who I am."
"I am the god of lies," Loki told him. "I spent centuries being broken down until I finally lashed out an tried to kill everyone I most hold dear. You believe I still hold claim to any sort of identity after that? You think that I am a stranger to being manipulated? To having your mind tampered with. I am both guilty of the crime and a victim of it. I am filth."
"I'm a murderer," Natasha argued, staring Loki down with fierce eyes. "What's worse? Someone manipulated into doing wrong or someone that does it of their own free will? Because while all of you have stopped what you've done wrong, I'm still a killer. I just switched sides."
The room went quiet a moment before Bucky spoke. "I told you, you're strong. I couldn't do what you do. You and Loki would kill to keep Steve safe... I don't know what I'd do."
"Perhaps that is why you would be best for Steve," Loki admitted. "You don't know what you would do. You don't know who you are anymore, but neither does Steve. He's a man out of his own time, out of his own life, everything is different than it used to be. You can find your way together."
"You could help him find is way better than I could," Bucky argued. "Hell, Stark knows more about this world than either of us."
"Steve wouldn't want me," Tony said firmly.
"He wouldn't want someone brave and considerate?" Natasha asked. "A self proclaimed philanthropist that wants to make up for his past."
"An assassin that has turned her blade to good." Loki said to Natasha with a raised eyebrow.
"An alien using centuries of wisdom to add the Earth." Bucky said, looking at Loki.
"A man trying to right the wrongs of others." Tony said pointedly at Bucky.
Loki sighed as he slumped back down in his chair. "This is yielding us nothing. We are all lost creatures that have no idea who we are or what we are doing. Why do you we think Steve would want any of us?"
The room went silent again. For a long moment, no one spoke.
"He wouldn't," Natasha said finally.
"No, he would." Bucky said softly. "Because he's Steve."
"He looks at blue aliens and thinks he should immortalize them in art," Tony said with a slight smile.
"He lets a man punch him in the face because of friendship," Natasha added.
"He thinks arrogant billionaires that have never set foot on a battle field make proper shield mates," Loki chuckled softly.
"And looks at assassins and thinks he can befriend them." Bucky said with a grin. "Steve is crazy."
"Good crazy," Natasha added.
"Crazy good." Tony said.
"And he will be wondering where we all are," Loki said. "I believe that he thinks we disappear to be alone in our rooms when we have these... sessions."
"I bet he'd turn the best shade of red if he knew," Tony said with a laugh. "Next time he ask, I'm going to tell him I'm going to the Crushing on Steve Clubhouse."
"I'm just going to kiss him," Loki said. "I may not be worthy of him, and I may lose him to one of you, but I refuse to do so without at least a parting favor. I will think of an excuse to tell him afterwards."
"I have him beneath me on a regular basis." Natasha grinned at them.
"Sparring doesn't count." Bucky complained.
"It does if you make it count," Loki said.
"It does when you spend the entire session finding as many ways as possible to wrap your legs around him or trap him with your thighs or pin his body to the mat beneath you." Natasha listed off.
"Best argument of why to spar I've ever heard." Tony sighed. "Think I can ask him to train me and get one of those rom com moments?"
"A what?" Loki asked.
"I'm going to have him tell me stories about the two us together to help me get my memories back." Bucky told them.
Tony groaned. "That's totally cheating."
Knocking came at the door, followed by Steve's voice. "Bucky? You awake in there?"
"That is our cue," Loki said, walking over to Tony. "Make the most of these moments." Loki told him. Tony waved at him before the god teleported them both off.
Natasha placed a hand on his shoulder. "Whatever you think of yourself, whatever any of us think of ourselves, Steve still sees something good in us. If he didn't... we wouldn't really be here. Tony doesn't keep this team together, Steve does."
"Thanks," Bucky told her.
Natasha nodded, making her way to a vent in the corner of the room and slipping into it.
Bucky took a deep breath, then headed to the door. He took a moment to compose himself before he opened it. "Hey, Steve."
"Hey, Buck. You alright in here? I haven't seen you all day." Steve said.
"Yeah... Just... thinking."
Steve nodded. "I did a lot of that when I first came from the ice, but I don't like the idea of you being in here alone."
"Good thing you're here," Bucky said with a grin.
Steve grinned back and Bucky moved aside to let him through the door.