AN ; This is my first crossover ever, so please let me know what you think of it ! :~)
However, I finished Clockwork Princess today, and I need to deal with my feels somewhere.

Enjoy~

Tessa was awoken by the sunlight shining onto her face. She opened her eyes slowly, squinting at the too bright light.
Why was she even awake at this early hour? She fell asleep quite late the night before, reading another book. In fact, that book had fallen out of her hands onto the wodden floor next to her bed.
Her love for books grew to be even stronger after Will ...

She could still barely think of Will as dead. But he was. after all, he was dead.
He passed away many years ago, in 1937. Yet she still is not over the fact that he passed away, that she couldn't spend more time with him. That she had to live without him, for years and years and years.

She remembered a conversation she had had with Magnus which must've been a life time ago, which it probably even had been. In human years, anyway.
"The first one is always the hardest." Magnus had said.
"The first ?" she had asked him, confused.
"The first one you love who dies. It gets easier, after."

Tessa swallowed hard. It had never gotten easier for her.
After Will had passed away, she fled, she left her home. She left her children, who have already had children of their own by then. She left her family behind because she simply couldn't stand the thought of having to watch her children, god, even her grand-children pass away without being able to do anything to save them.

When she once was told that she could have children, she was more than glad. She was radiant as the sun, imagining Will and herself building up a normal family - as close to normal as it was going to get, anyways - but as time passed she started to realize that it would not make it happy, it would eventually bring infinitive sadness.
Sadness that she would not be able to deal with at some point.

No one should have to see their children, let alone their grandchildren die.

Even though she decided to travel the world like Magnus has a long time ago, she couldn't resist coming back to London from time to time. It kept creeping back up on her. Smells reminding her of the institute. Tunes reminding her of the way Jem used to play his violin. They all dragged her back to that place.

Yes, London. Not New York, the place where she was born and raised for it had brought to her more pain, sadness and teribble memories than any other place she has ever visited, and in the time she spent travelling the world, she has been to a lot of places.

When she thought about London, she remembered about the time she spent with the people who had been more of a family to her than any people of her blood had ever been before that.
She remembered the carriage rides with Jem.
She remembered the time she'd spent with Will in the libary.
She remembered Sophie's advices, her wisdom and kindness.
She remembered the Lightwoods, Charlotte and Henry and she remembered Cecily.

Tessa could not hold back the tears when she let all these memories flash before her eyes again. She had lost all these people she loved. Even though the only ones who she saw pass away were Gideon and Will, she still knew that all the others had passed away. They all did, eventually.
It never got easier in any way.

She and Magnus were the only ones left now. And Magnus was not even here with her.
She felt so incredibly lonely.

It was the lonliness that one would feel in a crowded place in the middle of a busy town. The lonliness that made you hear things at your place even if there was no one who would come by. The lonliness that settles in after you've finished an amazing book and you're left with absolutely nothing.

And it was driving her insane.

Yet she still decided to come back.
She actually came back to London at least once a year for her meeting with Jem.
She did still call him Jem, and she will never call him any other name.
He was still Jem to her, no matter how much the Brotherhood had changed him. Even as he couldn't speak or see as a human does anymore, he was still Jem.
Even though he was not allowed to play his violin anymore as Silent Brothers do not play music, Tessa never forgot the sound of his music, what impact these tunes had on her. After all this time, she still carried them in her heart.

Zhi yin. Tessa remembered what Jem has once told her. Many people still use it when they talk about close friends or soul mates, but the actually meaning was knowing one's music.
She never forgot his music, just like she never forgot Jem himself.
She remembered him so clearly, so bright as day, that sometimes, the pain cut her like a knife.

Slowly, Tessa got up and walked into the kitchen. The apartment that she had rented for a few weeks was small, but it did the job. A bedroom, a kitchen, a bathroom. She needed no more. Why spend money on a fancy place when there's no one who would come around anyways?

As she forced herself to drink a cup of coffee, she starred out of the window, watching London's busy streets.
How this city has changed.
She thought the same thing every year. Every year, she watched the scenery around the, the people rushing by as she waited for Jem at Blackfriars Bridge.
She sometimes wondered what the people around her thought about her, if even a single one of them could see how she really was, what she really was. Then she remembered that therewas nothing that might seem off to them on the first sight. And no one would ever see her again, anyways.

She tried to make herself look as much as a mundane as possibly which was, to be fair, not easy at all time. Fashion really has changed since she was born.
Since she was born.
Tessa tried not to make herself think about how old she really was. How long she had lived. How bright the flame that was her life burnes compared to those of the one's he loved.
"Do not think about it too much." she heared Magnus say in her head.
"I know what I'm talking about. You think that you've lived for a very long time, and yes, compared to the life of a human you have. But I have lived so much longer than you. I've seen good and I've seen a lot more bad. If there is anything you want to talk about, please don't hold back. I want to be that rock for you that I never had when I was in your place."

By the time that conversation took place she was only eighteen, so hearing Magnus say these words to her seemed confusing and a little overwhelming at first, but after years, lots and lots of years, they grew closer and closer.
She had lost everyone, Tessa had told herself, and she wouldn't let herself lose Magnus, too.
Yet she still was thousands of miles away from him for most of the time, but at least she felt like there was that one person in the world keeping her sane.
She didn't even know where he lived right now. He came to visit her now and then though, but she had no clue how he had found her.

"An immortal life is a the lonliest life there is, and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy." Tessa did not remember who said that to her, probably one of the warlocks she meet on one of her journeys.
Just another face in a million she had ever seen. She couldn't help but wonder how many of them were dead by now.

She sunk to the cold, hard floor of the kitchen, leaning her head against one of the counters.
"Oh Magnus." she whispered, her fingers holding onto the black coffee cup as hard as they could. "If I only could talk to you right now."
She would not let herself cry. She would not.
She should be wise enough by now to know that crying dosen't bring one anywhere.
But it was already too late.
And just as the first tear hit the ground, Tessa saw something she hadn't seen in quite some time.

She had no idea how, or why, but just in the middle of her kitchen it appearded - A portal.
Tessa had to grin a little under her tears. She quickly pushed them away with the back of her left hand
It made her made her feel a little better that still, after all this time, these were still used. She felt very proud of Henry.

It took some seconds for that warm, fuzzy feeling to be washed away completly. Tessa stumbled to her feet. Why in the name of the angel would someone make a portal in her kitchen ?

Well not make it in her kitchen. Of course someone had created it at another place as she was alone in here. At least that was what she thought. But who would create a portal leading to her apartment?
After what felt around a minute no one had come through, she started to wonder if the portal was maybe created so that she could use it.
But who would do that? Magnus? And where would it take her?
She didn't know. All she knew was that it was worth trying to use it.

She set the cup of coffee that she didn't even drink onto one of the kitchen counters and took a step forward.
"Dear God." Tessa mutter. "Please let this work."

She remembered the first time a portal had ever been used. One had to picture the place one was going to.
But maybe these were working in a different way now. She had not used one for what felt like a hundred years.

Tessa took a deep breath, pictured Magnus, the person she was dying to see at that very moment, as clearly as she remembered his appereance when they had met two months ago and stepped through the portal.

The first thing she felt was the nagging cold, then the feeling of a hand dragging her into the dark. She wanted to scream, but noise could escape her troath. There was no going back now.

Suddenly, she hit the ground with an impact that knocked her off her feet.
Disorientated, Tessa checked wheter she injured herself, then looked around her.
Extremly tall buildings, even taller than those she had seen in London or even anywhere else, but those were in quite a distance. She clearly was in a park or something like that. There were a lot of people around her, not all of them were speaking English.

And there,right in front of her he stood.

Just as sparkly as he was when she saw him two months ago in Prague, grinning at her a little bit so she couldn't help but smile back.

"Well," Magnus said, his cat eyes filled with sorrow "Welcome to New York, Tessa."

Good, not good ?
What do you think will Tessa's reaction be like when she realizes she was brought to the city she avoided for over a hundret years ? Tell me ! ;)