Creep
It was Blaine's big day today. He is gonna marry the man he had been dating for three years now, Sebastian Smythe. He remembered when Sebastian had proposed to him. They had been fighting after Blaine had been cheating on Sebastian with Kurt. He remember how sweet Kurt's lips where against his. Blaine had moved to London after living in New York with Sebastian for years. He had taken a job as doctor, which he loved with all his heart, because he got to help people. Kurt had visited them, as they were still friends after all these years, but nothing more than that. Or so he thought. There was something about Kurt that he never could let go. He remembered singing songs to Kurt over the phone when Kurt had started cutting after his depression. Blaine had kissed all of Kurt's scars when they met again, and Kurt had cried of happiness, grateful for his best friend in the whole world. They went eating at a Chinese place that Blaine knew, where they talked about their new life's and what part of London Blaine was gonna show Kurt. When they went to the London Eye, Blaine felt something. It didn't help that the power suddenly left the machine, and everything went dark. Kurt was scared, and Blaine was holding him, making sure that everything was alright. Suddenly Kurt was moving closer to him, and Blaine couldn't help it either. There was something in the air that made his lip meet Kurt's softly, making him push every thought of Sebastian away. The kiss was sweet and gentle, and made both Blaine and Kurt's hearts sigh with happiness. The wheel started moving again, as the boys kiss ended. Blaine still felt the goose bumps on skin after the kiss. He felt neglected when Kurt completely ignored the fact that they actually kissed and said. "Kurt.. We kissed. Didn't you feel anything?" Kurt turned around, looking at Blaine with sifting eyes. "I..We.. Let's go see Big Ben!" He said, dragging Blaine with him.
"No Kurt!" Blaine said, holding his guard. "We have to talk about this.. did you not feel anything?" He said, moving closer to the taller male. Hey, you where the one that leaned in." Kurt said crossing his arms."Well you were the one who got closer and closer. You don't have feelings for me, right?" he asked. "NO!" Kurt yelled a little too loud. "I mean... no." Kurt said quieter. "No.." He said turning his back to Blaine."Okay" he mumbled. So their kiss didn't mean anything to Kurt. He cheated on Sebastian with somebody who didn't give a crap about it. It felt like the air was knocked out of his lungs. Of cause it meant something, it would always mean something when it was Blaine. "Blaine... Are you okay?""Yea I'm fine, just really tired. You want to go home?" he asked. "Oh ... Okay." Kurt said a little taken back. He followed Blaine the rest of the way Blaine his head didn't stop thinking about what happened a few minutes ago. He stopped walking and stood in front of Kurt "so you don't feel anything when I do this?". He closed the gap between them and kissed Kurt again. Kurt's heart stopped beating when Blaine kissed him. "Mffh Blaine." He moaned into the kiss, kissing Blaine back hard with want and lust, not being able to control himself. He put his tongue inside Blaine's mouth and kept kissing him. Blaine broke the kiss off in the heat of the moment and looked him into the eyes "tell me that this doesn't mean anything to you." "I..." Kurt was shaking "is that what you wanna hear?"Just drop it" he said with an annoyed voice. He didn't want Kurt to say whatever he needed to hear, he wanted Kurt to be honest with him. "No Blaine.. It means everything to me." Kurt's heart skipped a beat. "I'm so sorry; I'll take a plane home tomorrow." Kurt started crying."Please Kurt don't, I just got you back" he said with a shaky voice. "Okay... But im sorry I shouldn't have kissed you but I would lie if i said I didn't wanna do it again!" Kurt said desperately "I would lie too" he said and kissed him again. He felt really awful about cheating on Sebastian, but the damage was already done, and he was willing to suffer the consequences. Kurt kissed Blaine with passion in his heart. He felt like he was in heaven. His fingers tangled into Blaine's curls as he pulled him even closer. Blaine tangled his arms around Kurt his neck and gave Kurt all the power in their kiss. It felt so good to have Kurt back like this. Kurt whimpered into the kiss, it felt so god and he never wanted to stop it. It felt amazing. He could feel his feet cringle with love, and his arms grabbing Blaine with lust. Blaine broke the kiss and let his forehead lean against Kurt's "we should stop". He really didn't want to, but he had to."I don't wanna." Kurt said kissing Blaine again with passion."Me neither" he said while he broke the kiss again "but it's wrong Kurt.." "But it feels so good." Kurt said biting his lips while resting his forehead against Blaine's. "Doesn't it?""Yes" he whispered "feels like ho.." but he couldn't complete his sentence because Kurt's lips met his again. Kurt kissed Blaine's sweet lips again and again like he was never gonna stop. "Feels like what?" He said in between kisses "Like home" he whispered against Kurt his lips. "It really does." Kurt said, kissing Blaine with more tongue. "It really does." Kurt didn't care about Sebastian at this moment, and Adam was long gone. His heart beated for Blaine, and Blaine only. He cupped Kurt his face with his hands and kissed him deep. It was good, they kissed because it felt good and not for the sake of getting off. Suddenly Kurt felt rain on him, but he didn't stop kissing Blaine. It was all so romantic in front of the London eye and everything that Kurt ever wanted was Blaine's lips on his. Blaine looked up in the sky and smiled. He let their lips reconnect for what felt the hundredth time but he just couldn't get enough. Kurt was never done with Blaine's lips, as the rain felt down both of them. Normally he would be bothered about the rain because of his perfect hair, but right now he didn't care, none of it mattered, because he was so much in love. Blaine pulled Kurt up so that Kurt could tangle his legs around his waist. He felt Kurt's hand on his check and Blaine broke the kiss to stare into Kurt's eyes. Kurt was picked up by Blaine, and put his legs behind Blaine's. He didn't care that some people where looking, his heart was beating way too fast for him to understand anything. When Blaine broke the kiss he had his head in between his hands, and was breathing heavily. He had so much he wanted to say, but he was so lost for words at the same time. "I..." was all he could say as he starred into Blaine's beautiful eyes. Blaine his breathing was heavily when he hear Kurt his voice. "You..." he said, he really wanted to hear what Kurt was saying. Kurt his eyes sparkled so much, it was like he was looking into the ocean. "We.." Kurt whispered, holding onto Blaine's curls and smiling. The rain was purring down, drowning their cloths, and they would properly get a cold after all of this. Kurt had no idea what he was gonna say. He just wanted to stay forever. Blaine put his hand on Kurt his heart while the other one was around his waist. "Is th.. this.." he stuttered "beating for me?" "What do you mean?" Kurt asked breathlessly, resting his head against Blaine's forehead. He was breathing heavily trying to catch his breath. he gave Blaine eskimo kisses. "It's raining." he giggled. "Your heart" he began "is it beating so fast because of me?". Blaine closed his eyes again when Kurt gave him an eskimo kiss."Yes... only for you." Kurt said. "We are gonna get a cold if we stay like this." The cold rain was still pouring down on them, leaving both their cloths and hair a mess. "Always." "Don't care" he said while he kissed Kurt his neck gently. He wanted to stay like this forever, because it was like the world didn't exist, it was just the two of them. For now Kurt sighed when Blaine kissed his neck. "Blaine.. We're getting sick.. It's wet." Kurt tried, but failed, leaning into the kisses. Blaine stopped kissing Kurt his neck. He should be the responsible one by stopping it and hide for the rain, because he couldn't afford it to get sick. But he knew that when they stopped that this was over. Kurt's hand grabbed onto Blaine's back. He didn't know if it was the rain anymore, but he felt something wet running down his cheek. He hugged Blaine's wet cloths against his own, and sobbed, knowing this would be over soon. Blaine kissed him one more time before they went straight to the underground. "When we broke up" he started "I waited for you, I waited a long time. Waiting for you to come back to me and tell me that everything was just a bad dream. To tell me that I was not a bad person because I cheated. I was just stupid. But you never came Kurt" he said with tears in his eyes. "You never held me in your arms again and you never said those three words again. So two years ago I stopped waiting and Sebastian was there. He said and gave me all the things I needed. I really love him, more than anything. But deep down I always knew that I'd not be able to function normally without you. It has always been you, Kurt. But I'm just so scared. Like you see, I keep screwing things up, this hasn't changed yet.." Kurt lingered into the last kiss. "You where never a bad person for cheating Blaine. Deep inside I didn't care about it, because I loved you so much and for so long. I always knew we where soulmates Blaine. That's why I didn't come back. Because I knew that we would find each other again. We are meant to be together forever, no matter who comes in the way. I know you may think you love someone now, but deep inside it was always me. I know we keep screwing up both of us, but we have suffered so much without each other... why keep doing that?" Kurt sighed sadly. He felt the rain pour down and drowning his shirt, pants and hair. "And you wanted me, no matter how I looked... I really admired you for that." Kurt smiled. "Even with my ugly scars that drove everyone else away.. it will never change, we belong together." He said, taking Blaine's hands and placing them on his heart. "Don't you feel that? That's what I feel for you. No one and nothing can change that." Blaine closed his eyes when Kurt put his hand on his heart. "We are soulmates" he began "but then I wonder why we always keep avoiding each other. We met ten years ago, and we were 7 of them apart from each other. That's not what we're supposed to do. But still, we keep running away from each other. You were my first love and the first person I've ever made love to, of course you will always be special to me. Those scars don't change a thing. The only scars that change things are the ones that we have in our hearts. The ones we got 7 years ago when we broke up.". Blaine really had to fight against the tears. This was the first time he really said what he had to say."I will make up for those seven years, by giving you forever." Kurt said, leaning his forehead against Blaine's again. The rain was heavy on them now and most people where running away from the rain or was walking around with umbrellas. Kurt felt himself crying. "You make me, feel like I'm living a..." he sang brokenly. "..Teenage dream, the way you turn me on." Kurt was crying, closing his eyes as he sang. "I can't sleep, let's run away and don't ever look back." he opens his eyes and looks into Blaine's. "Don't ever look back." He whispered. A tear streamed down his face when Kurt said he wanted them to be together forever. Nobody had ever promised him to love him forever with all his flaws. "Don't ever look back" he repeated with a shaky voice. But he couldn't help but look back. If this would have happened five years ago he would promise Kurt a forever too. Hell, he would even give him the world. But this wasn't five years ago, this was the present, he had a lovely fiancé sitting at home, waiting for him to come home."What do we do now?" Kurt said quietly after his little song. He was lost for words really. He knew he couldn't have Blaine back, but at least he could try. "I wish I knew..." he whispered. He felt like a douche. Why couldn't his heart just tell him what to do? He didn't know. The only thing he knew was that he wanted to be as close to Kurt as possible. Why couldn't things be easy for him? "Let's at least go home.. It's cold and we are soaked." Kurt mumbled. At least they could hang out together. He wanted to say that home was wherever Kurt was but said "okay" instead. He didn't know how we were going to behave around Sebastian. In a few hours he would sleep next to Sebastian while Kurt was in the other room. They took a cab home in silence. Kurt was shaking because of the rain, but he tried not to make something special out of it. They arrived in front of the door. "Can I borrow some towels... I'm soaked." he giggled a bit, trying to make the mood happier."Yea sure, the bathroom is this way, just take whatever you need." he said while he looked trough the house to see if Sebastian was home. He wasn't. He screwed up, big time. He should be sorry, but he wasn't. Kurt got out without his shirt on, and with a towel around his shoulder. "I hope it's okay I let my shirt dry.. I'll find new cloths to change into now." He said shyly "Yea sure, just do like you're at home" he sighed. Home. It made him wonder, if he would have been able to think with his head instead of his dick that one time, would they live together by now? Would they live in New York or in London? Or somewhere else. He collapsed on the bed and didn't stop the tears this time. "Blaine are you alright?" Kurt asked, walking into the room with a new shirt on. "Are you crying? Oh no please don't..." He said, sitting next to him. "Please Kurt, just give me a moment." he said. He didn't want Kurt to see him like that because he was really vulnerable and broken at this moment."Okay..." Kurt said walking out of the room. He sighed, sitting in the living room all by himself. He was a little taken back about what had just happened, but he didn't regret any of it. How could it be so easy to fall in love with Kurt again? Did he actually ever fall out of love with him in the first place? His brains kept screaming to get the hell away from him because it was wrong, but then again, his heart wanted to be with Kurt. Wanted to feel Kurt. Wanted to kiss Kurt.
Kurt didn't know what to do with himself, so he looked at his phone so he could play subway surf, when he saw a text. A text from Adam. "Hey Kurt.. I know you are mad at me, but please take me back, I'm so sorry about everything.. Please talk to me again." Kurt read. He sighed, replying: "Adam, you told me I was a freak because of my scars how am I supposed to take you back?" Adam replied shortly after with: "You are so beautiful and great Kurt, please give me another chance." Kurt put the phone down and laid down on the couch. He was so tired of drama. He just wanted to be loved. Blaine dried his tears and waited a few minutes till he was decent again. He went to the couch were Kurt was lying and took a place next to him in silence. Kurt saw Blaine enter the room and sat up at in the couch. He looked down on the floor. "Hey..." he said, running his hand up and down his arm.
"Hey.." he said back with a broken voice. He didn't even dare to look Kurt in the eye and just stared at his feet instead. He felt like a coward, maybe because he was one. "I'm sorry again... we where gonna have a nice time, not this drama.." Kurt sighed. "No Kurt.. Don't be sorry because I'm not." he said. "Can we shake it off us? Please?" Kurt smiled, looking at Blaine. "When is Seb coming home?" "I don't know. Kurt, I don't want to forget, because what I felt was real." Kurt bit his lip. "Us kissing? Yes.. It really did." He swallowed. "We are soulmates so why shouldn't it? But Blaine you are engaged and you're having a child.." he sighed, giving up."Please, don't you dare to give up on this... I can still call things off.." he said with a small voice. "Would you? Would you give up everything for me?" Kurt asked, taking Blaine hands in his, looking him deeply in his eyes. "I would start everything over with you, you know that right?" "I think I would.. I don't know." Blaine looked in Kurt's eyes too. "What do you feel?" Kurt asked. "Do you love me or Sebastian? What do you really really want Blaine?" "I feel many things" he explained "do you.. Do you think it's possible to love two persons?" "Oh Blaine.. Yes I think so. But you always love one of them more than the other." Kurt said with a calm voice."Courage." He smiled."I always loved you". When Blaine heard 'courage' it made his heart melt. Kurt's heart sighed when he heard Blaine loved him. "But you love Sebastian more. I understand." Kurt said turning away from him. "No no please Kurt." Blaine took his hand "please don't leave." Kurt looked back at Blaine. "I'm just so confused as well Blaine. It really hurts.. And I don't know how to make that pain go away.." He said, holding his hands on his heart. Blaine took Kurt's face in his hands and let his forehead rest against Kurt's. "Is it better like this?" he whispered. Yes.." Kurt whispered back, feeling his heart beating faster again. "It feels so much better. I feel complete." "My missing puzzle piece" he sang "I'm complete." Kurt sighed, caressing Blaine's cheek with his hand. Blaine smiled and gave a small kiss on Kurt's forehead. "What would Sebastian say to all of this? I hate being the third wheel in your relationship." Kurt sighed. "You don't have to be, I mean, it's either you or him or nobody..." he explained "I guess.. but I don't want the rest of this trip to be weird for us... can we do something casual or something so that it isn't?" Kurt asked, playing with Blaine's earflap. "Is this not casual enough for you..?" he asked and kissed Kurt gentle on the lips. It was so wrong to cheat on him in Sebastian his house. But he was just done fighting about those feelings. He loved Sebastian to death, but it had always been Kurt. Heck, he still imagined him and Kurt going to the playground with their children. He was selfish by kissing Kurt again, but he couldn't help but be selfish for once again. Kurt was surprised when Blaine kissed him again, but he loved it. His tongue got access and the kiss got more heated, and Kurt started moaning a bit. Kurt backed away from the kiss. "Uh.. it's getting a little bit to heated for me." He said shy, blushing."Oh" laughed Kurt "uhm in that case you might want to take a shower or I don't know what you want to do about it. Kurt leaned in and gave Blaine another passion kiss on the lips before standing up. "Yeah... I'll just... shower." He said, trying to hide his half hard boner on the way out. In any other situation he would have handled the boner himself, but this time he didn't want to. He wanted Kurt, but not in that way. He wanted Kurt's heart, not his turned on the shower, and stripped. "Oh god Blaine.." he moaned, as he started jerking off to the image of Blaine underneath him, being trusted into again and again. He groaned hard as he came and let the water wash it all away. "God.." he mumbled as he washed his hair. "Why is he so gorgeous.."Blaine knew exactly what Kurt was doing in the shower and he would lie if he would deny that this didn't turn him on. He went to the sink and splashed some water in his face "goddamnit" Kurt eventually got out of the shower and got dressed. He looked around for Blaine but couldn't find him. "Blaine?" He yelled. Suddenly his phone buzzed again. It was Adam calling. Kurt sighed but took the call. "Hallo? You know I'm in England right now I don't have time to talk." Kurt heard Adam's broken cry at the end of the phone. "I'm sorry Kurt, please take me back, I'm so lonely without you.." Adam cried at the end of the phone line. "Adam.. No.. I don't love you like that." Kurt said walking around in the house, not noticing he was entering the kitchen. "I-I'm in love with someone else. I always have been. I'm sorry, we can't be together." Blaine heard the conversation between the two and his heart was beating like crazy. So Kurt really loved him, didn't he? He wished he could just run away with Kurt and just be with him, but then again, he'd hurt Sebastian. Whatever he decided he would hurt somebody. "I'm sorry Adam...bye." Kurt said, hanging up the phone, feeling shitty for rejecting Adam like that, but knowing it was the right thing to do. He turned around and saw Blaine in the kitchen. "Oh hey.. how long have you been standing there?" "I've been here all time, but I only heard the end of the conversation" he admitted. "Kurt.. Can I ask you something?" "Oh.. yeah sure what is it?" Kurt said a little nervously. "Have you dated more than two persons after we broke up?" Blaine asked. "Uh, yes Absolon and Adam...why?" Kurt said scratching is head. "Yea but besides of them.." "No... why?" Kurt wondered, correcting his hair. "Then how can you really know that you love me? You've been in one relationship since.. Because I don't see Adam as one. How can you still now that you're still in love with me?" he asked "I can't dump Sebastian for you because you can realize any moment that you never got over me, because you actually never tried.." "I did try, don't you think that's why I tried to have a boyfriend? I almost got engaged like you, but realized it was wrong. It's okay if you can't dump him for me. It just means that you have chosen." Kurt said, looking down on the floor. "No Kurt I haven't.. I just want you to be sure." he took Kurt his hand and let his fingers tangle with his own
Sebastian came home a bit early with groceries. He wanted to make something great for dinner. When he arrived home, he saw the two holding hands. Sebastian's expression turned from happy to a bit perplexed. What had they been doing? "Hey, guys..." Said Sebastian, taking the food into the kitchen. Kurt quickly removed his hand from Blaine's when he saw Sebastian had returned. "Oh hi Sebastian." Kurt said with a fake smile, trying not to sound to nervous. He had completely forgotten everything about him. Blaine knew that Sebastian saw what was going on. The guilt took over. How could he have been so impulsive and stupid? It was not like he regretted the things he did, he regretted cheating on Sebastian. "Hi babe..." Blaine said. Sebastian walked back out into the living room where they were. "So. What's up?" He didn't want to jump to conclusions... But he was getting suspicious. He sat next to Blaine and pulled the boy close to him protectively. "Nothing, we were just talking about what we where gonna eat later, right?" Kurt said, stepping a little bit away from Blaine when Sebastian dragged him closer. "No Kurt. You don't have to defend me." Blaine looked at his feet "I kissed Kurt..."Sebastian pulled away from Blaine. "Really. Oh. AWESOME!" Sebastian clapped his hands together and grinned, standing up. He was furious, now. He knew it. So why did he allow Kurt to come over? "So I guess I'll just fucking leave and allow you two to have some kinky fun. How about it?!" Sebastian stormed off towards the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge and gulping it.
Kurt was standing there, scared and embarrassed, not knowing what to do with himself. "I'm so sorry, I'll take the earliest flight tomorrow, I can go to a hotel right now actually!" Kurt said panicking and being sad at the same time. Blaine followed Sebastian. He wanted to take his hand Seb didn't let him. "I'm so so freaking sorry.." he sobbed. He wish he could explain but he couldn't. Blaine was a coward, once again. Sebastian glared at Blaine. "God. And here I was fucking getting up my hopes about marrying you and having kids with you. And I thought you were sincere and wanted those things. But it will always fucking be him, wont it? I can never FUCKING win." He moved away from Blaine and walked out to Kurt. "You'd better leave, Kurt," said Sebastian with a hard expression. He moved to the door and opened it.
Kurt never felt this weak. "Fine, I'll leave. Bye Blaine. I'll pick up my stuff later." he said with tears in his eyes, leaving the house, trying to find a cab. The weather was cold and he only had his wallet and phone with him. He started crying, as he entered the nearest cab."I really want those things, it's just I get confused every time I see him." he explained. "I fucking love you okay, it's just not easy for me... But I never lied to you."
Once Kurt left, Sebastian turned around. "Either you're with me or you're with him. You can't be with both of us, Blaine! You can't. It won't work. I only want you for myself. And if you keep fucking around with Kurt, I can't be with you. If I marry you, I want to have only you. And you will have only me. And there will be no Kurt. Ever. Again. So decide. I'm willing to forgive and forget if you choose me-though you're sleeping in the guest bedroom because I can barely look at you right now..." Sebastian had to look away. He was so mad at Blaine. "Or you can run off and chase Kurt. Like you probably fucking want to. But if you do that, I'm never talking to you again."
Blaine felt like his heart was ripped out of his chest. He knew that he was the reason why everything was so screwed up right now. "I didn't fuck him.." he said. Not that it would make any difference. "I can't just loose you or him. He's my fucking best friend and you're my fiancé. I'm not blaming you, but it wouldn't have happened if you were more around. God I don't want to run, I'm sick of running. I just want things back to normal." Kurt was stuck in traffic and started sobbing in the back of the cab. He felt really heartbroken and confused about his feelings for Blaine right now. "Hey, don't cry little buddy..." The cab driver said, looking at Kurt trough the front mirror. "S-sorry... I just don't know what to do right now." Kurt sniffed, drying his tears with his sleeve. The cabdriver was a elder dark skinned male. "Oh love problem I assume?" Kurt nodded sad. "Well, all I can say is that you should follow your heart. That always helped me."You don't even know me.." Kurt sighed, looking out the window. "Maybe not, but I can tell you're confused and need some guidance. Kurt knew the man was right and started telling him everything. When the man was done he nodded. "Well, I would say it's up to him. You have to wait and see what he does before you can do anything." the man said, trying to sound comforting. "Thanks.." Kurt said, blowing his nose. Now, he waited.
"I don't trust you anymore around him," said Sebastian. "You can't be friends with him anymore if you want to be with me. I can't have desk with the idea of you going behind my back and fucking him. Or kissing him. But generally, kissing leads to fucking." Sebastian groaned. "If I was fucking around all the goddamn time, Blaine, you'd be tired of me and wish I wasn't around all the time. What's dumb is that you see me every single day, but because I'm not around you constantly, you want to cheat on me. Couples don't do that. We work together. We let each other have jobs and be busy. We don't give each other permission to cheat whenever one of us is away. Do you think I'd kiss some other guy? Fuck no! Know why? Because no one else in this world is more important to me than you. No one. And kissing someone else would ruin our relationship. Also, no other guy can compare to you." "I know that this isn't how the ideal relationship is supposed to go. And I wish I could change something because I fucking love you. We've been together for a while now, but Kurt was my first love, the first person I've ever made love to and we never got the closure that I needed. That's maybe why we're still attracted to each other," he sighed "but I'd never fuck around with him anymore, because I respect you, both of you. Just please tell me how I can make this right. I know you don't trust me anymore, but you've to believe me..". Blaine sounded desperate, but he really was.
Sebastian sighed. "I want you all to myself... I can't stand the idea of you not being with me. I can't fucking stand it. Luckily you just kissed him..." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I can't let you see him again alone. But you can if I'm there."
The cab finally arrived at a cheap hotel that the cab driver recommended. Kurt bought the cheapest room, and closed the door behind him, keeping crying in his room, hating that this trip to London was ruined now. It was supposed to be a really fun and nice trip, but now Kurt had to go home in the morning. He hated that he had to get his stuff tomorrow, not wanting to face Sebastian or Blaine again. He thought about cutting again, but quickly regretted that when he thought about Blaine kissing his scars, and Santana healing them. He couldn't do that to any of them again. He laid down in the small cheap bed and sighed.
"He's still here in London and you've to work tomorrow morning, I just can't let him be on his own.. Just please, I promise that this won't happen ever again. I'm the one who screwed up, don't punish him for it" he looked into Sebastian's eyes and tried to take his hand.
Sebastian accepted Blaine's hand, looking away from him, then pulled away. "Get someone else. I don't want you to."
Blaine sighed at the memory. It wasn't very pleasant to think about. He liked the thing that followed though. Blaine arrived at the restaurant where he was supposed to meet Sebastian. The waiter brought him to their table. He nervously waited until Sebastian was going to arrive. He was afraid of what was going to happen; he didn't have a good feeling about this because he was not sure where they were standing with their relationshipTop of Form
Sebastian had the ring in his coat pocket. He was going to propose, and he was going to do it right, like he had always wanted to. Of course Blaine proposed first...which kind of threw Sebastian off guard. He wasn't sure that Blaine had wanted to get married, so he planned on proposing later in their relationship. Sebastian walked inside and to the table where Blaine was already seated. Sebastian's face was that of a content expression. Sort of happy, sort of uncaring. Right as he got there, the waiter took their drink orders before scooting off. "How are you feeling, Blaine?" Asked Sebastian in a conversational manner. Blaine saw Sebastian coming over. How did he get so lucky to be with such a handsome guy? "I'm okay, how about you?" he asked. Blaine was a little bit confused and scared, he didn't know why they were having dinner. It was nice though, but he was just too afraid of losing Sebastian. "Fine... Head doesn't feel amazing, it overall I'm fine. I've cooled down a lot." Sebastian's mouth turned up in a sort of half grin. In that moment, the waiter came back with their drinks. They needed more time to decide on their meal. Sebastian eventually picked fish and chips, a classic combo.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking about things," he said after a moment. Blaine ordered the same as Sebastian because he loved the traditional dishes from England. His heart was beating very fast when Sebastian told him that he thought a lot about things. At that moment he was sure that he was going to break up with him. "So uhm you've also been thinking about... us?" he swallowed and bit on his underlip. He knew that it was all his fault, but that didn't mean that he was ready for it. Sebastian nodded. "I have indeed," he said. "I've been thinking about cheating... and how I really can't blame you once more. But you have to understand, though, that it hurts to be cheated on, especially if you really love the person who cheated." He had sort of experienced this with someone a long time ago, but he quickly got over it. "It's not fun."Blaine looked at his hand who were laying on the table, afraid to look Sebastian right in the eye. He felt so guilty, because he knew how much it hurt. He finally got the courage to look up "I know, and I'd totally understand it if you would blame me and break up with me, but please don't. Just give me this last chance." it was the first time he really talked about what he was feeling and his worries. He loved Sebastian so much. Sebastian chuckled softly. "I'm not going to break up with you," he said. At that moment, the waiter brought their food. Sebastian took out the ring from his pocket and stood up, moving to the side of Blaine. He got down on one knee, and people began to stare at the couple. He opened the ring box. "This time, it's my turn... Blaine Anderson, will you marry me?"Blaine dropped his fork when he saw Sebastian going down on his knee. He didn't expect this, not after everything. Blaine looked in shock at Sebastian and he was unable to control his emotions. When he felt a tear on his check he realized that Sebastian was proposing. "Ye..yes! Yes, yes a thousand times" he dived straight to Sebastian his face and kissed him. It was the first time they kissed since he cheated on him and it felt wonderful. Sebastian grinned and kissed Blaine back as the people around them clapped happily. He placed the ring on Blaine's ring finger. "Blaine...I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have a family with you. I need you, Blaine...if you ever cheated on me again or something, I couldn't handle it. I'd be devastated. So please don't." He hugged Blaine tightly. He smiled when Sebastian hugged him; he closed his eyes when he breathed the scent of Sebastian in. For a moment he didn't care that they were in the center of the attention, because he was thee with his fiancé. "I love you too, I'll never do that to you again, I promise. Just like I promise to love you forever. He looked at Sebastian and cupped his face. "You're mine" he said before he kissed him again. "Good. And I promise I'll never cheat or do anything to you that would hurt you. You're my perfect other half." Sebastian smiled and kissed the boy softly of the lips before returning to his seat and taking Blaine's hand from across the table. Blaine linked his fingers with Sebastian's. "I can't believe you just asked me after everything I put you trough. I love you so much." he said with a big smile on his face. His check hurt because of all the smiling, but it didn't matter. He was , well, like I said...cheating is something that I've done. More than once. So I don't want to be too hypocritical. I can at least give you one more chance. But no kissing Kurt...okay?" He laughed softly. "I want our wedding to be soon. Really soon. Like...in the next few weeks. We have money, and we can hire someone who can do it quickly.""I know, but I also don't want to have a relationship in which we both cheat, or in this case me.. I want to have a mature relationship in which we can trust each other, and I promise I won't give you another reason to not trust me again." he confessed. "Why such a hurry now? I mean, it's okay for me, but last time we talked about it, we would do it in the summer." "I want that too. And I will give you my trust...I trust you, Blaine. After thinking about things, I trust you." He squeezed Blaine's hand. "Because. I really don't want to wait. I want you to be Blaine Anderson-Smythe as soon as possible." His heart melted when Sebastian said that he trusted him that meant a lot to him. He knew that he didn't deserve his trust, which is why it meant so much to him. "I can't wait too babe, but I want our wedding to be perfect.""And it will be. That's why we must start right away. I want this, Blaine. And it's going to be amazing. We have a month or so. I'm going to start booking places." He smiled. "Now. Eat. We have lots of things to do." "I want this too, but I don't want to rush this." he smiled and took a bite of his fish. It was delicious. "Is it okay if I visit Coop next week in LA for ten days? I'd like to have some quality time before I'm a married man." "Sure. You can. Enjoy your trip, love." He smiled.
Blaine still couldn't believe that Sebastian had proposed to him, and that they were getting married so soon. And today was the big day. It had been about a month after Sebastian had proposed to him, and Blaine felt really ready right now. Somehow he had let Sebastian forgive Kurt enough to be Blaine's best man. Blaine was standing in front of a mirror, fixing his black bowtie. He looked amazing in his white suit, which they had decided to wear together. Sebastian was in another room getting ready, as they had agreed not to see each other in their wedding outfit, afraid that it might bring bad luck. It was only him and the sound of a radio that filed the room. Suddenly Blaine heard knocking on the door, and Kurt entered, wearing his black suit that the best man was supposed to wear. Blaine turned around and felt like something hit him. It was like he saw Kurt again for the first time. His suit looked perfect on him, his hair was perfectly styled and he had a spark in his eyes. "Hey Blaine." Kurt smiled at him, coming closer. The radio continued to play in the background. Blaine slightly noticed that it had started to play the song "Creep" by Radiohead. The melody started to play, as Kurt came closer to his face. Blaine licked his lips.
"When you were here before. Couldn't look you in the eye."
Kurt stepped closer to the smaller man, and started correction his bowtie. Blaine swallowed as he looked into Kurt's perfectly blue eyes.
"You're just like an angel. Your skin makes me cry."
Kurt smiled at him, and looked into Blaine's beautiful brownish eyes. "So, are you ready for your big day?" He said with a hint of sadness in his eyes.
"You float like a feather. In a beautiful world"
"Yes..." Blaine mumbled, suddenly feeling his heart beating faster, with Kurt this close to him.
"Oh I wish I was special. You're so very special."
"Good. They are waiting for you." Kurt said, turning around to leave Blaine alone again. "Wait..." Blaine said, grabbing onto Kurt's wrist."
"But I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo.
Kurt turned around to look at Blaine again, feeling captured underneath those big beautiful eyes. Blaine tugged down Kurt's sleeve, revealing Kurt's scars again. He lifted the arm up to his mouth, and kissed every scar. Kurt looked at him with teary eyes, feeling his heart beat faster.
What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here."
Blaine stopped and tugged Kurt's sleeve down again. "Just remember that no matter what happens, I will always care about you Kurt Elizabeth Hummel." Blaine said, letting go of Kurt's wrist.
"I don't care if it hurts. I wanna have control. And I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul."
Kurt smiled at him, trying not to cry. Being in the fashion industry had really done something to him. He had cut his wrist, and was obsessed with his weight, and he was only a fashion designer.
"Thank you Blaine..." Kurt said, smiling at Blaine again. He had so much he wanted to say, but he just couldn't say it. It wouldn't be right.
"I want you to notice. When I'm not around."
Kurt left the room, leaving Blaine alone with an empty feeling. Was he having cold feet? He looked in the mirror again. Sebastian was supposed to be the one for him. But why was he feeling this way?
"You're so very special. I wish I was special."
The maid of honor came and picked up Blaine, before he could get his thoughts straight. The walk to the ail where Sebastian was waiting seemed to take forever, like he was walking in slow motion. He heard the rest of the radio sing for him a last time before he was getting married:
"But I'm creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here."
Blaine was shaking when he was walking down the church ail. He saw his friends and family members look stand up and look at him, as he walked down to meet Sebastian who was smiling at him, looking at him with love in his eyes. Blaine felt like he was gonna puke. He finally arrived next to Sebastian who was wearing a matching suit. He took Sebastian's hands as the priest started speaking. "Are you alright?" He heard Sebastian whisper to him, and he nodded. But he was lying, he felt like running away from all of this. He wasn't sure what he felt anymore, it was all so confusing, but soon it was too late. He was getting dizzy. Blaine's eyes scanned the church, trying to find comfort in looking at Kurt. And it hit him when he finally saw Kurt. Kurt was… was he crying? He was sitting the back of the church next to Rachel, who tried to comfort her crying friend. No one but Blaine noticed that Kurt got up and felt, uncontrollably sobbing. Blaine looked back at Sebastian was a tear in his eye. He knew this was all wrong now. It was Kurt, it had always been Kurt. He couldn't hurt Kurt like this. "I-"Blaine said, seeing Sebastian look at him with a serious look on his face. "I'm so sorry..." He said, letting go of Sebastian's hands, and running down the aisle, before no one could say anything.
"He's running out the door."
Blaine felt like he was running in slow-motion. Everyone was suddenly standing up, looking at him, but no one said anything, because they all knew this was the right thing. He didn't look back at Sebastian, who was still in shock mode.
"He's running out"
Blaine knew this was right. His heart belonged to Kurt, it beated for Kurt, and all he ever wanted in his life was Kurt. Kurt, Kurt, Kurt!
"He's run, run, run ruun."
Blaine was finally outside the church, scanning his eyes to find Kurt. He ran to the parking lot, finding Kurt sobbing inside his car. Without further notice, Blaine ripped the door opened, and attacked Kurt's lips. Kurt, who was crying, was taken by surprise, his heart jumping up and down when Blaine suddenly was next to him, kissing him with all his heart. The kissing lasted a few minutes before any of them said anything. They broke apart in silence, Kurt touching Blaine's cheek gently. "You came for me." He sighed, kissing Blaine again. Blaine kissed him back and smiled. "We are soulmates Kurt. I will always be there with you."
Whatever makes you happy? Whatever you want.
Suddenly Sebastian arrived next the car. He dragged Blaine down into the ground and started beating him. "Why! Why would you ever do that to me! I loved you!" He said crying, as he kept hitting Blaine the best he could. "STOP!" Kurt yelled, but Sebastian just slapped him hard. "I knew this would happen." Sebastian took a gun from the inside of his jacket, and pointed it at Blaine's head. Both Kurt and Blaine went silent. "If I can't have you... Then no one should." Sebastian said with tears in his eyes. "STEP AWAY!" A male voice yelled. The three of them looked up to find Cooper standing there with a gun of his own, pointing it at Sebastian's head. "That's enough kid. Let it go." Cooper said calmly. Sebastian removed the gun from Blaine's head slowly, dropping to the ground with his hands up in the air. Everyone else from the church was standing there, looking at it all happened with big eyes. "I loved you Blaine." Sebastian said, sobbing. "How could you.. we where gonna have a future together!" He screamed at Blaine, who just looked at him calmly. "I'm sorry Seb, but it wouldn't be right. I never loved you that way. It was always been Kurt who was meant to be with." Sebastian sniffed sadly, walking away in rage. People were looking at him in pity, as he walked away to his car.
You're so very special. I wish I was special. But I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. I don't belong here.
"I wanna be with you forever Kurt. Please say yes." Blaine smiled at Kurt, standing in front of him with hope in his eyes. "I will Blaine.." Kurt said, taking Blaine's hands in his own. "I love you. I always have." He smiled. "I love you too Kurt." They kissed sweetly, Kurt feeling his toes curl as Blaine made his heart beat fast.
"Always."
