Bad_Show_Bash

Bad Show Bash…

    

Ronin Warriors     VS. The Sailor Scouts

Commentated upon by Top, the dog from Jules Verne's The Mysterious Island, and BottomBlue, a baboon with a cold butt!

Top: It looks like another white-hot battle is heating up in the Khazan City Stadium!

BottomBlue: Tonight, the Toonami black sheep, the Ronin Warriors and the Sailor Scouts, square off in a fight of fights sure to rock the Stadium!

Top: The losers get kicked off of Toonami, never to show their face outside of Japan again…

BottomBlue: The Stadium has been fitted with deathtraps for additional…lethality…

Top: But before we make an analysis of the fight, let's look at the mailbag!

LETTERS

Preston Moore: THEY BOTH STINK! THEY COULD POWER A COLONY OF SKUNKS FOR THREE YEARS WITH THEIR AMOUNT OF STINKINESS!! But, I vote for Ronin Warriors because with their armors they could withstand the Sailor Scouts' energy blast thingies and then strike back with their swords and bows, (my favorite) morning stars and the red guy's big pointy stick thing. My biggest hopes for this loser battle is for them all to somehow destroy each other both.

Jake Walker: They both censored! The Ronins would kick the Sailor Scout's censored with their Inferno Armor!

Matt Ross: I think that the Ronin Warriors would win because of the weapons they carry. Their extremely long swords defend attacks from far away. While the Sailor Scouts being as girly as they are in the middle of the fight they might say " I broke a nail" and ask to pause the fight so they can put on a fake one. Sailor Scouts have NO CHANCE  of surviving the nail breaking fight.

Brian Erb: I'd give the Ronin Warriors a 3/5 chance of winning. The Ronin's big advantage is that they can attack without going through the silly little attack motions, whereas the Scouts would fare something like this: "Mooooon Tiaraaaaaa…Gllck!" Still, when you get right down to it, the Scouts have more powerful attacks  (after the motions of course),  and Pegasus is a powerful ally…

James Carbone:

Kill em' all… Let God sort em' out.

PRELIMINARY VOTE COUNT:

Ronin Warriors: 4

Sailor Scouts: 2

THE ANALYSIS

Top: This will be an interesting fight, ladies and germs.  The Sailor Scouts have plenty of allies, including Tuxedo Mask, Luna, Pegasus, Artemis, and others, who might step in at any time.  Also, they have the incredible luck usually granted to ditzy anime girls… But their big weakness is that they have recently taken to relying on Pegasus to win their battles for them- so if he doesn't show up, or is disabled, the fight's over. 

BottomBlue: The Ronins, on the other hand, are able to attack without going through the motions that the Sailor Scouts require.  This is probably their best single advantage.  Balancing that is the fact that the Ronins always seem to have bad luck, and get out of messy situations by the skin of their teeth.  They do have the two tigers and Anubis on their side, though, which could tip the balance in their favor.

Top: The Scouts are at a disadvantage in the tactical department, though-the Ronins are masters of their respective weapons.  However, the Scouts seem to work slightly better as a team then the Ronins do- they never seem to get separated, unlike the Ronins. "Divide and conquer" has worked a little too often and a little too well on them.

BottomBlue: One must also consider the power of their respective attacks.  At first glance, the Ronins appear to have the edge in this area, but if you really think about it, the Scouts take the cake here-Does Sage's Thunderbolt Cut really rival Mercury's Thunder Clash? Also, the Scouts (On admittedly rare occasions) have demonstrated that they can use their attacks without going through the attack motions.

PRE-FIGHT VOTE COUNT:
Ronin Warriors: 6 

Sailor Scouts: 5

Top: Sailor Moon and Mini-Moon make their usual moronic entrance speech, as the rest of the Scouts pose behind her…

BottomBlue: The Ronins, not to be outdone, jump 20 feet into the arena and morph into full armor.

Top and Bottom: AND THERE'S THE BELL!

Top: Aaand Sai is the first to attack, getting off an Arrow Shockwave directly into the heart of the Sailor team!  First blood to the Ronins!

BottomBlue: The Scouts scatter to avoid the explosion…But not Mars! She stands her ground, ducks the blast, and unleashes a Mars Fire Ignite straight towards Kento….The nut! He didn't even budge!

Top: Kento doesn't even have a scratch on him!  Ooh, but he's angry! Kento retaliates with one of those earthquake attacks, tearing up the ground and panicking the Scouts…

BottomBlue: And here's the first deathtrap!  A hole has opened in the ground, and a giant robot is rising on a pedestal.

Top: In the meantime, Moon has just taken off her tiara and is at the point of unleashing it on Rowan- But the robot has unleashed a hail of machinegun fire!  Moon's aim is off…She hit the robot instead of Rowan!

BottomBlue: In the meantime, acid pits are opening up all over the Arena…There go Sage and Mini-Moon!

Sailor Moon: Nooo!

Top:  Jupiter and Mercury have decided to go back-to-back… Unleashing Mercury Bubbles and Jupiter Thunder Clash attacks, they attempt to hold off Sai and Kento's fierce assault… Ouch!  Jupiter just got an arrow in the shoulder! She's down!

BottomBlue: But the Ronin's assault is temporarily stilled by the buzz saw blades currently flying out of the walls of the Arena!  Ouch- Sai just took a buzz saw blade right in the stomach- that disoriented him-
Top: Yow- Sai just took two blades going in opposite directions! And-OH! Mercury just got off a Mercury Bubbles Blast attack-Sai's down, and I don't think he's getting up!

BottomBlue: In the meantime, Moon has FINALLY gotten off a Moon Tiara attack- at Kento! Yeowtch- He just got knocked into an acid pit!

Top: Get some audio down there, it's getting intense!

Insert corny Tuxedo Mask speech here

BottomBlue: Well, here's Tuxedo standing on the lip of the Arena…Big surprise, he always has to have a piece of any scrap the Sailors ge…WOAH!

Top: Mask has been…ugh…impaled by some kind of staff…

Bottom and Top: ANUBIS!

BottomBlue: This could get interesting.

Top: Anubis is tearing the Sailors up! He's got Mercury and the wounded Jupiter double teaming him and he's STILL holding his own. That staff is forming some kind of shield bubble, defending him from both Mercury's bubbles and Jupiter' thunder blasts with ease.

BottomBlue: Meanwhile, this leaves Moon, Mars, and Venus to deal with Rowan, Kento, and the other one…I don't know his name, he's got a spear thingy…

Top: Don't worry. Both these teams are about as forgettable, respectively, as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the Power Rangers.

BottomBlue: At any rate, the three remaining Ronins have just charged, waving their weapons…The scouts'll be massacred before they can use their attacks!

Top: But…Kento trips and falls, slamming into the two other Ronins and sending them all tumbling down!  There's that Ditzy Anime Girl Luck EffectTM!

BottomBlue: On the Anubis-Jupiter-Mercury side of things, Anubis is sitting on the floor meditating while a raging heck of thunder and…those bubble things surrounds him.  What the heck are they anyway, Top?

Top: Well, they can't be regular bubbles…Can they?  Oh well.  The Ronins are on the ground, struggling to get up… What's keep…ing…YOW!!

BottomBlue: The Ronins had forgotten to account for the arena deathtraps!  Our friendly neighborhood carnivorious plant, ifyoufalldownus ieatyouupus to give the scientific name, is growing all around the Ronins, forming a kind of cage… They can't get up.

Top: Meanwhile Anubis has finally stopped meditating…He's sprinting toward the Ronins, trying to save them before…Ick. Too late. The plant has just munched Kento and…That other guy…but Ronin has managed to struggle out and torch the plant.

BottomBlue: Hey, what the…

Top: A much scorched Mini-Moon has just leaped out of the acid pit… How'd she survive tha-WHOA!

BottomBlue: Pegasus has just burst out of the acid pit Mini-Moon was in…

Top: As the remaining Ronin Warriors give each other the nod! The Inferno Armor is in the house!
BottomBlue: Moon is taking out her winged wand…This could be it…

Moon: Moooon Gorgeous……

Rowan: Rage Of Inferno! Flare up…

Moon: Meditation!

Rowan: NOW!

BottomBlue: Too bright…Can't see…

Top: Aaaagh………..

BottomBlue: What the…!

Top: Anubis has just taken Pegasus out of commission with that staff of his. 

BottomBlue: And the rest of the Sailor Scouts… have something like full-body sixty-three degree burns all over their bodies.  I hope that they can afford medical care with their severance pay from Cartoon Network.

Top: Good fight, good night!

FINAL COUNT:

Ronin Warriors: 12

Sailor Scouts: 7