ANGEL BAND
Note: All ER characters don't belong to me, but the nutty people at Constant C, NBC, and the minds of Michael Crichton, etc. "Angel Band" was written as a stand-alone to reflect on Lucy's death from a different view: one that would show Lucy's memorial service. Enjoy!
Rating: PG
*Spoilers for "Be Still My Heart" and "All In The Family"*
John Carter cringed as he rolled into the large, beige cathedral. He took in the sights around him, recognizing faces from the hospital: some other med students, some doctors from psych, notably Carl De Raad, whome Lucy had worked with often during her recent psych rotation. He lightly touched the black tie resting on his chest as he felt a wave of pain in his back.
"John?" Deb stopped the wheelchair beside the pew where most of the ER was sitting: Drs. Greene, Kovac, and Finch were there, and surgery sat nearby. Peter Benton, Elizabeth Corday, and Robert "Rocket" Romano sat solemn in the pew ahead. Carol Hathaway and other nurses, notably Chuny and Haleh, were sitting near the end, seeming to distance themselves from the band of physicians so close by.
"Yeah?" He replied in a scratchy voice, and Deb didn't know if he was in pain or sorrow.
"This is where we're sitting.. I'll take you up when the time comes." There was a small stream of organ music coming from the front of the huge 19th century church. A large portrait of her rested on an easel in the front, near the pulpit; a sign read 'Lucy Elizabeth Knight, 1976-2000'. He sighed at the sight of the 2000. That spot was supposed empty. She wasn't supposed to be dead.
"Yeah, yeah, okay." He rolled in a bit so Deb could get into the pew, then let his guard down as the preist began to speak.
"We are here today to remember an extraordinary young woman, aspiring doctor, and wonderful person. Lucy Knight was someone who lived life to its fullest. This memorial service for Lucy will begin with a eulogy by Lucy's emergency room supervisor at Cook County Hospital, Dr. John Carter."
Carter looked sourly at Deb, like a child looks at his mother when told it's time to go to bed. She sighed, only nodding to reassure him, and rolling him to the pulpit to speak. He caught a glimpse of Lucy's old boyfriend, and surgical resident, Dale Edson. Crying.
"I know if Lucy were here right now she would be telling us all to get back to work." He almost smiled, but then stopped when he saw others laughing as tears fell down their cheeks. They were watching, waiting for him to say something profound. "Lucy was a great medical student, and would've been a better doctor then I could give her credit for. She cared and felt for people under any circumstances, and conditions. She fought to be everyone's advocate and get everyone what they deserved, good or bad." His hand shook as he continued to read from a piece of tear-stained notebook paper. "But I also knew Lucy was on a personal level. As a young woman who lived life with so much vigor, hunger, and strength that somedays it was hard to keep up with her." He smiled. Wasn't that the truth. No one ever seriously realized his breif fling with Lucy, or worse, what it really meant to him. Somewhere deep in his heart, he still loved her, and always would. "She was, and will always be, one of the most remarkable people I have ever met." He continued as his voice cracked and wavered. "Her smile.." He stopped and began to break down as Deb looked on in silent concern. He couldn't do this. Tears fell onto his hot cheeks, and he tried hard to stop them. After what seemed like an eternity, but was in reality only seconds, he did, and he finished. "Her smile is something that will please the angels. And so is her spirit."
He rolled over to the easel where the portrait lay, and sat the piece of paper down on it, with these words facing the mourners:
My lady's sun is sinking fast
My race is nearly run
My strongest trials now have passed
My triumph has begun
Oh come, angel band
Come and around me stand
Oh bear me away on your snow white wings
To my immortal home
Oh bear my longing heart to him
Who bled and died for me
Whose blood now cleanses from all sin
And brings me victory
Oh come, angel band
Come and around me stand
Oh bear me away on your snow white wings
To my immortal home
I loved you and always will. You will be forever missed, Miss Knight.
Dr. Carter
(Author's Note: The song "Angel Band" is one that I hold very close to my heart. Not only does it have great music for a country song, but its lyrics are very meaningful. "Angel Band" was written and sung by Michael Nesmith. For an MP3 of the song, e-mail me at Mangagodai@aol.com)