It is not a conscious decision for either of them, and really, it was never supposed to happen like this. Not to say that it was supposed to happen at all…ever, but it really wasn't supposed to happen this way.
Elena's sitting on the front porch when Alaric returns home drunk late one summer night. She herself is sitting next to a half empty bottle of tequila.
"You shouldn't be drinking," he tells her, picking up the bottle as he walks past her.
She looks at him in dismay. "You're one to talk," she retorts, her hand reaching out to grab for the bottle. Her aim is sorely off, however, and he hardly has to try to evade her.
"I'm not seventeen," he replies, shutting the door and leaving her on the porch alone.
-x-
She doesn't stay outside for long, and when she walks back inside, she slams the door and makes her way to the kitchen where she finds him pouring out the rest of the bottle.
"I hate you," she says, and she almost believes she does, too.
Alaric puts the now empty bottle on the counter and sighs as he turns around. "No, you don't, Elena," he tells her. "You're angry and you're taking it out on me, but I'm not the problem, the alcohol is."
"The alcohol is fixing the problem, Ric," she sing-songs spitefully. She puts her hands on her hips and glares at him with the coldest expression he's seen on her face. Alaric can honestly say this is the closest she's ever come to being Katherine. "You're doing it too," she adds after a moment, "so don't even pretend you don't understand."
He hates seeing Elena like this, hates the pain in her eyes, and he loses it. "What is wrong with you, Elena?" he asks in disbelief. "This isn't you."
He tells himself it's the alcohol when she laughs loudly. "This is exactly me. This is who I was before vampires and dead parents and Jenna."
His anger flames up when she spits her aunt's name like that. He knows she loved Jenna, knows she's just too drunk to know what she's saying or how she's saying it, but he hates that she, on some subconscious level, can blame this on Jenna.
-x-
He grabs her and pulls her up the stairs, and she doesn't speak the entire time. He opens the door to her room and shoves her unceremoniously onto the bed. "Sleep it off, Elena," he tells her as he makes to walk out.
He doesn't expect her to throw her phone at his back. "Fuck, Elena," he shouts as he turns around to face her. "What the hell was that for?"
Her eyes are wide and her mouth is half open and she must not have expected him to yell at her like that, for she just starts to cry.
Alaric freezes briefly, for he's never been good at being comforting, and he really just wants to run from the room, but a part of him needs her just as much as she needs him right now, and so he sits on the edge of her bed and holds her as she cries.
She murmurs incoherently most of the time, but he catches a few I'm sorry's.
"It's okay," he tells her. "It'll all be okay."
He doubts she believes him, if only because he hardly believes himself, but the sentiment is enough to make her calm down after a moment.
And, when all he hears are feint sniffles, he makes to get off her bed and leave her to sleep, but her hand wraps tightly around his.
"Stay," she whispers. "Be with me just this one night."
There are a thousand—no, a million—reasons he should deny her request, but the look on her face stops all protestations he could have made, and his lips touch gently to her forehead. He only intends to ease himself down to a comfortable position for sleeping, but Elena has other ideas, and she moves her head just so, and his lips connect with hers and he tastes the tequila on her tongue and is sure she can taste the bourbon on his.
He's just about to pull back when she does so first. "I need you, now," she whispers. "I need this."
He knows he's making the wrong choice as he positions himself above her, knows this mistake will ruin both of them if anyone finds out. But, then again, he also knows neither of them wants to be alone right now, and at the present moment, that need for connection overpowers all reason.
-x-
Alaric wakes before Elena, and eases out of her small bed without waking her.
He redresses and makes his way to the bathroom and showers and goes downstairs and starts breakfast.
He tells himself nothing's changed, tells himself neither was truly at fault, and gets rid of all the alcohol in the house before Elena wakes up an hour later.
She smiles when she sees him and greets him with a pleasant, "Good morning."
Alaric knows the game and plays it too. "What are your plans for the day?" he asks.
"Caroline and Bonnie are coming over later," she answers casually. "We have finals to study for."
And life goes on.