The Match Game
„Hey Lisbon?"
A groan of frustration escaped Teresa Lisbon. She shot the man sitting next to her a warning glare, daring him to say anything about her current mood. He'd been commenting on it all evening. It was getting tiresome.
Unfortunately, her warning glare had no effect on Patrick Jane. He was having way too much fun. Sure, the stakeout part of the evening was boring, but trying to entertain an increasingly frustrated Lisbon was absolutely worth wasting a few hours sitting in a car. Probably not to Lisbon, he conceded, judging by the current look on her face.
But even if he wanted to, he couldn't stop himself from asking, "You know how they call Brad and Angelina Brangelina?"
"One of these days I am going to commit a justified act of violence against you," Lisbon muttered. Still, Jane was undeterred, "What do you think they'd call us?"
Lisbon shook her head in regret. If only she'd listened to Jane earlier when he insisted that this stakeout was going to be a waste of time. While she was loathe to admit that Jane was right, it didn't seem likely that anything related to their current case was going to happen in the next few hours.
"Paresa? Nah, that's not right," Jane happily conjectured beside her. Lisbon laughed in frustration. Why had she agreed to let him come on the stakeout with her? And why had he volunteered in the first place?
He gave her an excited grin, "How about Terick?" Lisbon shook her head again. She knew better. Stakeouts with Jane always ended with her having to control the urge to strangle the man.
"You're right, that's silly," he nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face. Was he seriously considering this?
"You're enjoying this way too much, aren't you?" Lisbon asked, unable to hold back a smile. "Yup," he enthusiastically replied.
"You do know I'm armed, right?" She shifted in her seat so he could see the gun strapped to her side.
He looked at it warily, "But you're an officer of the law."
Lisbon sighed, "Unfortunately."
Jane chuckled. Lisbon had to sit on her right hand to keep it from slapping him. She worried about what her left hand might do.
A movement outside caught their attention and they both tensed. It turned out to be a cat, so they relaxed back into their seats.
At least Jane did. Lisbon scanned their surroundings, coming to the conclusion that it was best if they called it a night. She doubted that anything was going to happen here that would help them catch their suspect. Besides, if they stayed any longer, her consultant was probably going to miss a few teeth in the morning. And that would be a shame, Lisbon thought. She liked his smile.
Lisbon started the engine and Jane raised an eyebrow. "This was a waste of time," she said, carefully maneuvering the vehicle out of the parking spot. Jane had the good sense to censor himself before a juvenile "Ha-ha!" escaped his lips. "Well, we did have some fun," he said, wondering how much her punch would hurt. Lisbon just shook her head in exasperation, "I'll drop you off at your car." She called Cho to let him know that he and Rigsby didn't have to come for the second shift.
They drove in silence for about ten minutes when Jane piped up, "How about Lane?"
Lisbon frowned, "What?"
Jane looked like a five-year old trying to explain to an adult why he had to flush the brand new rubber ducky down the toilet, "Lisbon and Jane…Lane."
"Honestly, Jane, I have no…" Lisbon couldn't finish her sentence, asking herself for the umpteenth time why she kept doing this to herself. She had her suspicions, but as a professional and his boss, she would not, could not entertain those thoughts. As a woman, however...well, she didn't want to entertain those thoughts either.
"Lane does sound a little like 'lame'…" Jane muttered, shrugging his shoulders. He reached forward to fiddle with the radio and one of the preset stations filled the car with music. Except for Jane's surprisingly soulful sing-a-long to an upbeat Otis Redding number, which had her laughing with bemused delight, the rest of the ride was quiet.
She wasn't going to admit it to him, but part of it had been fun. A bored Jane could be entertaining. So the stakeout hadn't provided them with the break they so badly needed. Considering what else she could have done this evening, laundry and catching up with administrative paperwork, allowing Jane to annoy her was definitely more stimulating. Yep, there was probably something wrong with her.
When they arrived at the CBI parking lot, Lisbon drove up to where his car was parked. She turned to him and gave him an exuberant smile. Sure, Jane could be fun, but she was looking forward to the comfy bed that was waiting for her at home.
"You know, I could have told you that it was going to be a waste of time," Jane said to her. Her smile did not disappear, the promise of being Jane-less for a few hours making her feel almost giddy, "You did tell me that it was going to be a waste of time."
He scowled at her, "Yeah, I did."
"You're a pain in the ass, Jane."
He definitely heard a note of affection in her voice so he asked, "But an entertaining one, I hope?" Yep, it had been worth it. Between spending an evening staring at a red smiley face from the corner of an unmade mattress and being a good citizen by helping a law enforcement agent survive a pointless stakeout, the wiser choice every time was trying to freak out Teresa Lisbon by telling her things he could not have possibly known unless he was actually psychic.
And he had surprised her a few times. To her credit, she'd been able to more or less guess how he'd figured out the stuff about her. She guessed right that his announcement on the state of her laundry was based on a comment earlier this week about her favorite green t-shirt. His estimation on how many pounds she had lost in the past two months was based on his complaint about there being no hidden muffins in her office anymore. After which she accused him of going through her stuff. And she figured that him knowing about the baby shower she was going to attend at the end of the month was because he'd listened in on her private conversations.
The one thing she didn't figure out was how he knew that her favorite book was "The Little Prince". Jane would never admit that this guess was based on her half-quoting Antoine de Saint-Exupéry about a year ago.
"If you knew that this was going to be a waste of time, why did you come?" she asked, having that look on her face when she was trying to work out his real motives.
He worried sometimes that she saw more than he was willing to share. "Because you never listen to me, woman," he replied, sounding slightly affronted.
"What does that have to do with you com…hey, I listen to you," she replied indignantly. Jane's pointed look of scepticism had her giving him a lopsided grin, "Okay, sometimes."
"Someone had to make sure that you wouldn't die of boredom," he answered magnanimously.
"Well, you could have told me it was going to be a waste," she muttered. His face lit up, "Aha, but as you just stated earlier, I did!"
The only reply left to her was "Bite me." Lisbon did not like the devilish gleam in Jane's eyes.
"One fine day, one fine day," he softly murmured.
Neither did she like the little flutter in her stomach. She felt her whole body blush and she was glad that the inside of the car was relatively dark. Curse her double X chromosomes for reacting so foolishly female to a very virile male's…what? Softly spoken words that didn't mean anything other than teasing flirtation because said male was bored? It was high time she got some distance from this man.
Suddenly, the bastard exclaimed "Jisbon!"
Lisbon jumped a little, startled out of thoughts she shouldn't be thinking of, not when someone who probably could read her mind was sitting way too close to her. Why was he leaning towards her with that look on his face?
"What?" she managed to croak. 'If he even hints at melted dark chocolate, I'll have to kill him,' a little voice inside of her head whispered.
"Jane and Lisbon…Jisbon!" he said, looking far more excited than the occasion warranted in her opinion
"Jisbon," Lisbon repeated, looking at him suspiciously. She expected him to say something about feathers and whipped cream any second now.
But he just nodded and repeated "Jisbon."
No mention of honey or body butters? She waited for a comment, a sly dig but all he did was look at her with anticipation.
Lisbon felt so relieved, she actually considered his suggestion, "Jisbon, huh?"
His smile was too charming for her own good, "Yup...Jisbon."
She shook her head, "Nah, that just sounds ridiculous."
She could only respond in kind to his delighted laughter.
He cocked his head, "How do you feel about dark chocolate fudge?"
A/N: Yes, I'm a Jane/Lisbon shipper but I find the shipper name "Jisbon" a little silly. I'm trying to write a slightly angsty Jane/Lisbon fic, but being a naturally non-angsty person I feel a bit stuck. Whenever I have writer's block, I try to write something completely different, in the hope that it will shake a few ideas loose. But yeah, I usually end up writing pointless little pieces.
Was listening to Otis Redding's "The Match Game" when I started writing this.
The Mentalist, still not mine.