Note: To understand this story, you will need to watch or know about the Doctor Daniel Jackson's instructional Video on the Ancients from SGU. A direct link can be found on the Michael Shanks Online site (MSOL)

For the purposes of this story, Daniel is a 6 year old boy who is semi aware of his former life… and he's very, very clever. Not beta'd.

Ancients 101

"Hi." Daniel waved merrily to his enraptured and attentive audience – his entire entourage of stuffies dragged mercilessly to the living room for today's most important lesson. Oddly - though it didn't seem to bother Daniel - none of them looked overly interested in the topic.

Satisfied he had their full attention, Daniel squared his shoulders, pushed his glasses back up his nose and continued in a serious voice. "I'm Daniel Jackson O'Neill. The Ancients were once a race of humans known as Alterans." Slapping a hand to his forehead, Daniel was once again forced to pause in his carefully rehearsed lectures for the sake of one of his less than cooperative friends. "George!" he called out, waggling a finger in the direction of his stuffed camel, its one hump sagging awkwardly against the couch. "You won't learn anything if you can't even stand up straight." Huffing a resigned sigh, Daniel abandoned his dais – the recently polished coffee table – and splaying the camel's legs out different directions, managed to center the lopsided beast. "There!" He declared, satisfied. "You won't mind if I continue now?" Getting no argument or spits of protest, he clamoured back onto the coffee table.

"Where was I? Oh… The Ancients were once a race of humans know as Alterans. Can we all say that? A.l.t.e.r.a.n.s." He turned an ear in the direction of his class, nodding happily; satisfied they had mastered the word. "Very good. Now the Alternas left their galaxy to avoid a war with another race of humans called the Ori." Daniel looked over his stuffies on at a time, frowning when he reached his snake; its normally coiled body, a mass of knots. "Apophis. Tsk, tsk. I thought I told you to go to the bathroom before we started class. You've worked yourself into a real knot now!"

Hands on hips, feet set wide apart and nudging the edge of the coffee table, Daniel pursed his lips, infuriated at the interruption, and pointed towards the bathroom door. "I'll be asking questions at the end of this series of lectures so it's on your head if you can't answer them. Shoo… bad snake." Apophis didn't move, in fact, his brightly colored and seriously knotted body didn't budge and inch. "You pee on the floor and daddy is not going to be happy." Shrugging at an answer only he could hear, Daniel soldiered on with his lesson.

"As I was saying! Umm… What was I saying?" Chewing thoughtfully on his lip for a moment, Daniel brightened as an imagined light bulb flicked on above his head. "The Alterans. Yes. They flew to the Milky Way millions of years ago and landed on the planet Dakara. From there, they made their way to Earth, which they would call home for some time." A noise from the audience broke Daniel's diatribe, and shoulders heaving in mock disappointment, he zeroed in on the culprit, giving him an evil twitching eyebrow. "Yes, Teal'c?"

Teal'c the cow had a problem. He had a broken moo'er. A real problem it was because despite Daniel asking his daddy to fix him on many occasions, the little moo box – as Daniel called it – would sound at the most inopportune of moments. This had the rest of his class in fits of silent laughter, with Mitchell the Care bear falling most undignified on his rainbow painted bottom before sliding onto his back. Daniel didn't care for the bear much. Mitchell's permanent sunshine smile irked him especially when he wasn't feeling well.

Anywhoo…

So, Teal'c had mooed in a most undignified manner. Mitchell had fallen over, a smile plastered to his face, and Apophis was still a mass of knots and looking like he was about to pee on the newly cleaned rug. Daniel was not happy.

Getting no answer from Teal'c, and refusing to pay any attention to the other interlopers, he continued stoically. "The Ancients are the inventors of the Stargates and much of the advanced technology that was later usurped and used by the Goa'uld to enforce their rule-" What was that? Who snickered at him?

Vala!!!

Vala the stuffed pink Siamese cat had been a problem from the moment aunty Vala had given her to Daniel. Her eyes followed him around the room and her "necessary" diamante collar rubbed up against his thigh at night, leaving him with a nasty rash. There was of course the other problem that having Vala in his class has caused – Vala, being a cat and all, loved to chase Sam.

Sam was his bird.

Not a bird in the conventional way that Daniel regarded birds; Sam was a Toucan. He loved her, adored her, and cherished her. Sam was his very first stuffy, coming right before George the camel and Teal'c the farting, oops, moo'ing cow.

Nighttimes where a nightmare though, and in desperation – when Vala tossed her pony tails (ears) over her shoulders and cocked her head from side to side showing off her "bling"- Daniel had no choice but to grab Sam and toss her to the far side of the room before Vala ate her. It was a travesty! Each morning, Daniel would pick up his battered Sam, cajole her, and set her up high on his bookshelf where Vala couldn't reach her. So far, he'd kept her safe.

"Vala!" Like a stick under pressure, Daniel snapped. Leaping off the table, he landed in front of his diamond studded pussy, shaking a fist in her face. "I'm thinking time out for you, miss!

Vala purred salaciously at him, before flicking her gaze at Sam; the bird almost dropping all of her feathers in fright.

"I've fed you already," he said hotly as he snagged Sam and spun back to his lofty mantle. "No dessert for you, young lady."

Order once again restored, and none the wiser for why Vala had snickered at him – though he suspected she thought his use of the word "usurp" was probably the reason, Daniel continued, "Prior to settling on Earth, the Ancients left for Pegasus. No," he scrunched his nose at Oma the friendly Ghost – her white robes showing signs of needing a wash, "not the horse."

Oma said nothing.

Strange really, she normally had something obscure to add to his conversations.

"Ultimately," Daniel forced himself back on track, "some of them returned to the Milky Way where it is believed they used their knowledge to restart human life as we know it on Earth. Everybody clear so far?"

Daniel took their stunned silence as affirmation of understanding.

"Okay. At some point, they evolved both physically and mentally to the point were they no longer required their human bodies."

Oma caught his attention, and Daniel tried not to roll his eyes at her interruption. "Yes, I know, Oma… how deep is the river." Oma sat silently but Daniel wasn't fooled. "If you can be patient, we'll get to the part about-" As if following a conversation, Daniel's face reflected his devoted attention to her query. "I promise I won't forget."

Discussion over. Stuffed Ancient happy and content, Daniel drew in a deep breath and pushed on. "Which brings me to my next topic…"

The End