Random Rizzles Phonecalls: The Mature Version
A/N: Hello there. This fic will be a collection of oneshots, similar to the original Random Rizzles Phonecalls, but everything that goes in here will be rated M. I'll keep adding to it whenever I feel like practicing my smut-writing skills, and I hope you'll enjoy it :)
The Side Effects of Peruvian Sweat Tea
Rating: M (see above)
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended, make no money, et cetera, et cetera.
Summary: This one is set after 5x11, "If You Can't Stand The Heat". Jane can't sleep after drinking from her mother's sweat tea and starts texting her LLBFF.
J: Hey
U awake?
Nvr mind, c u 2moro
M: No, I'm awake. What's wrong?
J: I made a mistake
M: What kind of mistake?
J: Took a sip from Ma's tea
M: How is that a mistake? I drank some of it too, and I'm feeling a lot cooler already.
J: Well I'm not :(
I'm feeling all hot & bothered & can't sleep because of it
M: Well, you knew about the aphrodisiac substances in that tea before drinking it. Goodnight :)
J: No! Don't go!
M: I don't think you'll be able to keep texting me while masturbating.
J: Why would I do that? *eww face*
M: You said you're feeling 'hot & bothered', you've ended things with Casey and from what I know, there's no one else you could call in the middle of the night. So there's a high chance you're going to take matters into your own hands (pun intended ;).
J: Ha ha. I'm not gonna take anything into my own hands 2nite
And I don't care masturbation is a perfectly healthy & natural thing 2 do blah blah. Not gonna do it, period.
M: Why not, do your hands hurt?
J: Nah, it's not that.
...
J: Ugh, fine. It's *that* time of the month & I'm feeling all weird & icky :(
M: Do you have a tampon inserted?
J: Sure, why?
M: Then everything on the outside should feel nice and clean, not icky at all.
But if you want to take a shower and change your tampon, go ahead. I'll wait.
J: ARRRGH!
M: Jane, are you alright?
J: Just screamed into my pillow in frustration
M: LOL :)
J: Really Maur? U know LOL & use it against me?
M: Sorry.
J: U should be
...
M: Jane? Are you still awake?
J: Yeah. *curses Ma's tea*
M: I have an idea. Think back to how you discovered that touching yourself feels good.
J: Uhm...
M: Yes?
J: Dunno if this counts, since I didn't really touch myself, but when I was a kid (b4 I even knew about sex & stuff), I used 2 hump my pillow or climb trees & sit with my legs on either side of a thick branch. Felt really nice :)
M: Exactly.
J: ...?
M: You're in bed. There's a pillow right beneath your head. Use it.
J: No
I feel silly
I'm so tired, but I can't sleep
M: Call me.
J: What?
M: I was going to tell you about the benefits of phone sex, but then I thought I'd rather give you the real experience.
J: Maur, we're best friends. Best friends don't have sex, on the phone or otherwise
M: I just want to help you out so that you can get some sleep. Now call me or I'll call you.
J: Fine, Miss Bossy :p
"Well, hello there Jane." Maura's voice sounded awfully cheerful, considering it was about two in the morning, and Jane couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Maura, promise me we won't talk about this ever again. Well, I probably won't remember it anyway 'cause I've had a few beers too many, but just in case I do remember anything..."
"I know. I'm simply helping you out so that you can get some sleep, and then we'll go back to being best friends."
"Damn straight. So, what are you wearin'?"
"I thought I was going to help you out, not the other way round."
"Please?"
"Fine, I'm wearing one of my silk pajama sets. It's lavender in color, and the top is held closed by five buttons."
"You mean purple."
"No, lavender. What are you wearing?"
"Some panties and a tank top."
"Mmmh... Have I ever told you how much I like you in a tank top?"
"You do?"
"Oh yes. The way it hugs your body and shows off a bit of cleavage, just enough to make me want to see more..."
"So you like my boobs? I gotta say I like yours better, but to each her own, I guess." Jane paused for a moment. "Know what other part of your body I like almost as much as your boobs? Your ass. Yoga and wearin' heels all the time really does it for you, Maur."
"Why, thanks Detective. Your gluteus isn't bad either..."
"Not bad? Really?"
Ignoring the interruption, Maura went on: "I'd love to squeeze it in my hands while you're on top of me, riding my thigh, your wetness coating my skin. However before you got too far along in your quest for release, I'd flip you over onto your back, making you squeal in surprise. That squeal would soon turn into a moan, though, because I'd grab your hands and place them on my breasts."
There was a bit of rustling on Jane's side, followed by a soft groaning sound. "Oh God, yes. I've always wondered if your tits felt as amazing as they look."
"Well, they're soft, but firm, and my nipples get really hard when I'm aroused. Would you like to suck them?"
"Hell yeah..." Quickly shimmying out of her tank top, Jane tossed it away before retrieving her phone and readjusting her postion on the pillow. "Hey Maur, you can look a my tits now too, I just took off my tank."
"Mmmmmh... Can you come just by touching your breasts? According to a study I once read, some women can do that, but I've never met one who could."
"I- I don't know..." Jane's normally deep voice was reaching new levels of deep and smoky, a fact that Maura enjoyed immensely. "Keep talking," she requested, one hand staying on her chest while the other made its way down across her belly.
"Fuuuckck... Maur, I'm so hot right now, I'll probably cum the moment I start movin' against my pillow. Even just sittin' on it is almost too much right now..."
"Do it."
"What?"
"Imagine it's me laying underneath you and you making yourself climax against my thigh. And don't try to keep quiet, I want to hear you."
Jane Rizzoli normally didn't do well with orders, but right now complaining was the last thing on her mind. "Yessss, feels so good... You touchin' yourself?"
"Mmmh, yesss. I'm so wet..."
"Damn, I wish I was there with you... Can you put a finger inside?"
"It feels like I could easily fit three fingers right now..." Pulling her hand free, Maura grabbed one of her many pillows and hurried to shove it between her legs. "... but that's not what I want. I want to climax the way you will, grinding against a pillow that I pretend is your leg... God Jane, I'd love to feel those gorgeous legs of yours wrap around my waist as we make love..."
"Oh Goood..."
"We could engage in - ahhh - tribadism, I've always wanted to try that..."
"Tribal... what?" Jane got out in between moans and groans.
"Tribadism, with a D. It's when two females rub their sexes together to achieve climax."
"Oh, you mean scissoring. Yeah, that'd be hot... I can feel it right now, our wet pussies slidin' against each other, my clit findin' yours... Fuck Maura, I'm so close..."
"Me too Jane... ooohhhh..."
"Maura..." Jane's entire body froze on top of her pillow as her inner muscles clenched and released around empty air, the contractions so powerful it almost hurt. "Maur..." she choked out, trying to take her best friend over the edge with her. It worked; seconds later, Maura too found release, slowly grinding against her pillow to make the most of the experience before collapsing onto her stomach, spent.
"Jane?" she breathed after a moment, her throat dry from all the noises she'd been making.
"Yeah?" came the equally husky, breathless reply.
I love you. No. That was fun, let's do it again sometime. Double no. "Would you like to come over for breakfast tomorrow?"
God, this is awkward. "Uh, sure."
"Great. Sweet dreams, Jane."
"Yeah, you too." Ending the call, Jane rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling in the dark. Awkwardness, your name is Rizzoli and Isles. Where the hell do we go from here?
A/N: There's no 'END' at the end of this because I might write a second chapter to it. Reviews please? :)
