Chapter 1
"I feel shell shocked!" Andy grimaced as Traci gently helped to pull her shirt down.
"Why wouldn't you?" Traci replied raising her voice an octave. She knew Andy was still afflicted with mild deafness, but there was an obvious tentativeness in her tone. After all, Andy had just survived the latest blast that had all but brought the entire Division crashing down around them.
Traci, like everyone else at the gridlocked 15, was still trying to get her head around how the hell Andy had survived, when she was right in the proverbial eye of the storm.
"It's like you've been to hell and back in one day." She continued with a supportive smile as she handed Andy her sweatshirt.
"My ears are still ringing." Andy yelled a frown troubling her face now.
"I know, but are you sure you're not hurt anywhere else?" Traci scrutinized her friend. She looked gutted and pale, ruffled and bruised, but incredibly had no broken bones.
"Don't you start!" Andy shot Traci a look of whimsical annoyance and impatience, as she lifted her hands to release her hair.
"Ouch" she flinched as her shoulder blades protested the sudden movement.
"You were saying." Traci sniggered under her breath as she surveyed the obvious discomfort in Andy.
"I'm sorry it's just that Sam's been like a helicopter hovering over me."
"Oh so you mean he is being his usual self," Traci chortled louder this time, rolling her eyes with playful mockery in her face.
"That's a drag I'm sure." She continued crossing her arms and nudging Andy's back softly. Andy eyed Traci through the reflection of the small mirror attached her locker door. She cast a sarcastic smile at her in reply.
Traci's eyes drifted to the photo pinned above the mirror. It was one of Andy with Sam. Once many moons ago there had been a picture of Andy with Luke somewhere on the locker door, but unlike this one, that picture, like their relationship had appeared contrived, forced and superficial.
Andy hadn't made any pictorial announcements about her relationship with Sam their first go around and Nick had never made it to the locker door, but that relationship seemed lost before it even came ashore.
The picture Traci was looking at now was taken about three years ago, before they even became a couple.
There was nothing fabricated about that picture. Whomever had taken it had sure as hell captured tangible, visceral, physical proof of the genuine, unmasked synergy sparking between Sam and Andy. What words were there to adequately describe that connection between them… passionate, stormy, unwavering, impenetrable… undeniable?
They were wearing their uniforms and out in the parking lot standing impossibly close, with just the faintest crack of space eked out between their bodies. It was almost impossible to see where one began and the other ended.
Andy had a wide spontaneous smile on her lips, as she tilted her head slightly and stared up into Sam's eyes. Her expression was animated, vital and engaged.
Sam wore no trace of a smile as his eyes locked with hers. His intent, tender focus on Andy created an overwhelmingly powerful impression. It seemed like he was effortlessly holding her gaze, but for anyone who really cared to look, it was quite discernable that Andy was the one with the iron clad hold on Sam.
For Traci it seemed like she witnessed the first tangled beginnings of that invisible, enviable and tight bond of theirs from day one. It was ridiculous to realize that it all began when Andy decked Sam and arrested him, completely blowing his cover wide open.
Andy shifted and tossed her bag on the bench beside them. Another sudden movement that caused a jab of pain to her battered body.
"You know what I'm mostly ticked off about today? Marlo. It's like she has been talking between the lines all day."
Traci folded her arms not saying a word as she looked knowingly at Andy.
"I know it's frivolous, but I can't help it." Andy continued.
"Andy he ran into the rubble to save you without any care for his own safety. It could have been rigged with more explosives for all he knew. If that doesn't chase your fears away what will?"
"I know," Andy retorted thoughtfully.
"He's always running into burning buildings or explosive situations to save you Andy-"
"Technically we weren't together most of those times," she added with a giggle of her own, creating an injection of levity into the heavy mood lingering at the station.
"Oh yeah sure and technically Pluto isn't a planet." Traci nodded and snorted as she turned to open her own locker.
"Anyway Marlo will be gone before you know it." Traci added.
"Let's hope this case wraps up soon," Andy sighed zipping her bag closed and twirling the loops in her hands.
"So how are things with Steve Peck? Are you thinking of climbing back on the bike and trying again." Andy changed gears and tones now as she let out another playful chuckle.
"I don't know. Let's just say I miss him and so does Leo. My mind is open." Traci popped her head past the locker door to look at Andy as she spoke.
"It's nice to have someone actually in my life to care about my child and share the parenting stuff, and I think it gives Leo a little extra security too," Traci continued as she put her badge away.
Andy smiled spontaneously, "I'm sure it does-
"Andy."
Sam's deep voice interrupted her as it hollered through the locker room. Moments later she caught sight of him meandering slowly towards her, his hands stuck in his pockets, a grim expression on his tired face. She hadn't expected him to be done with interrogating MacDonald for hours. Hell she was even contemplating having Traci take her home.
As Sam got closer she detected the look of renewed relief burgeoning in his dark glinting eyes at the sight of her.
"Hi Sam," Traci intercepted causing Sam to pry his eyes from Andy.
"Oh hey Nash. Are you heading out? "He seemed distracted, frustrated, and even anxious.
"Yeah I was just leaving now." She smiled and moved to go. "I'll speak to you tomorrow Andy-
"MacDonald's dead." Sam blurted out ignoring Traci's words. Both women gasped, staring at him in disbelief.
"What!" Traci slammed her locker door shut.
"How?" Andy contributed in shock.
"Looks like a suicide, but I'm not buying that. Peck and Marlo are in there with forensics now." Sam replied, obvious fatigue filtrating his voice and demeanor.
"Why would he kill himself when he seemed so desperate to share something?" Andy piped up. She somehow restrained her desire to reach out and touch Sam's jawline in an effort to ease the tautness in him.
"I don't know." Sam replied exasperated, looking from one to the other.
"The interrogation room is a crime scene. Now that our prime bombing suspect is dead in our house the investigation will be taken out of our hands." He continued.
"Okay well I'd like to take a look before that door closes on us." Traci asserted as she sidestepped Sam and made for the exit.
"A fresh pair of eyes will help," Sam muttered grateful that that fresh pair of eyes was alert, sharp and precise.
"I'll see you later." Traci called out over her shoulder, as she hastily exited the room. Despite the gravity of what was going on around her, Andy couldn't help feeling relief that she heard Traci's heals clicking purposefully on the ceramic floor. It felt comforting to start hearing regular noises again.
Sam eye's searched hers, seemingly looking for answers in her. She offered a subtle half smile as he began to slowly peruse her body seeking more reassurances that she was really wasn't broken in any way. She looked great, a little windswept, but so goddam beautiful as always.
"That's pretty gruesome what happened," Andy said softly.
"It was. It is." Sam acknowledged bringing his hands to his temples.
"Sam I know you. This is going to eat away at you. Let it go. There is nothing you could have done to stop this. Let Intelligence do their jobs." Andy implored urgently.
Her locker door was still open and the width of it represented the gap between them. Through the corner of his eye, Sam got a glance of the picture Andy had there. He knew exactly when that picture was taken. Hell he even knew what they had been talking about at that moment, and he knew who took it.
He could still remember the earnestness in Oliver and the challenge in his eyes when he held up his phone to show it to Sam. ""She's not your Rookie anymore!" That was all he said, but that was more than enough.
Sam closed Andy's locker door firmly and bridged the narrow gap between them. Their bodies almost brushed and his warm, minty breath fanned her face.
"The only thing eating away at me is what happened to you tonight and how close..." His voice trailed off as he looked away momentarily.
"I'm okay Sam." Andy whispered smiling into his tense face.
He took a step closer and gently placed his hands on each side of her face tilting her head, so she could do nothing but melt into his smoldering chocolate eyes. His stance and demeanor reminded her so much of the way he gently held and caressed her face after she was shot in her vest almost three years ago.
His hands radiated with the same gentle compassion as that unforgettable time and his fingertips bristled with an identical intensity, as though he both demanded and needed something from her at once.
She exhaled softly as he filled his hands with locks of her soft chestnut brown hair, his thumb masterfully slipping over her cheek with the delicious tenderness of warm syrup.
Sam's eyes burned deeply into hers as he opened his mouth to say something in a spent, gravelly voice.
"I can't lose you Andy." He murmured just loudly enough for her to hear; and her body began to tremble in response.
"It'll take a lot more than a bomb to shake me Sam Swarek!" Andy managed after a minute in a breathless, heady voice, silently acknowledging the magnanimous insinuation of his previous words.
"Ha" Sam responded with a boyish chuckle as he slipped his arm around her shoulders bringing her head to his neck. He took deep breaths as he cradled her with expert knowledge of how her body fit into his. They were like two key jigsaw pieces that interlinked effortlessly. It felt therapeutic and overwhelming all at once.
She rarely saw Sam needy; and while he scarcely exposed his vulnerabilities to her, it was evident he was becoming more comfortable with that. Undoubtedly he had been pushed to almost breaking point tonight.
"Let's go home." His voice crackled.
"You don't need to ask twice," Andy replied a smile burning into her mouth and eyes as she slowly peeled away from him.
Sam deftly thrust her bag over his shoulder and led the way, entwining her fingers firmly in his.
