Prologue - A Forgettable Encounter in Clyde's Bar

It was hard for her to count the number of empty glasses lined up in a disorderly row on the bar. The number of them kept fluctuating, which Jess thought was very indecisive of them. Her head felt like a cloud had decided to move inside it, and it was fogging up all her senses.

"You okay there?"

The voice made her jump in her stool. It teetered on the back legs as she momentarily flailed, however a firm hand grabbed at her arm and pulled up back upright. She looked up, and two identical men where standing in front of her, both wearing the exact same expression. The men laughed nervously. "I probably shouldn't have served you all those drinks, should I?" they joked, their lips moving in synchronisation. Jess frowned.

"How many of you are there?"

The men laughed. "I'll get you some water." They walked a few feet away, then returned a moment or so later and set down a glass brimming with a clear liquid in front of her. Jess drank it eagerly, then spat it out. She pointed her finger as straight as she could at the bartender.

"This is not vodka," she slurred. The bartender frowned.

"What?"

"You! You disappoint me, sir," she yelled, however when she tried to stand up and storm off the movement of the room refused to let her move more than a few feet. She felt an arm go around her waist just before she hit the ground.

"Woah!" the voice said. "Okay, let's sit you down somewhere a bit lower."

The bartender guided her to a booth at the back of the bar and helped her sit down. "Stay there, ok? My shift ends in a half hour, I'll check on you then," he told her, his face stern. She winked at him.

"Whatever you say, sailer," she drawled, tipping an imaginary sailer hat at him. He made an odd face at her that she could only describe as looking like a turtle before placing her glass of water on the table and walking off. She swung her legs up onto the long booth. "Hey, does your boat want to dock in my harbour?"

She sipped at her water for the next half an hour. She knew standing up wasn't really an option, and as her brain cleared by the minute she realised she wanted to stay and wait for the bartender to come back. After a long time during which she thought she'd fallen asleep at least once, the man came up to her booth. She studied him as he approached her. He was wearing a flannel shirt that appeared to have had more than one drink spilled on it that night, and his short brown hair looked as if it hadn't ever been brushed. The scruff on his face was attractive, though. Actually he was all round attractive. The moment she thought that she cursed herself. She had a boyfriend!

"Feeling better?" he asked her. She smiled at him. He had a nice face in a grumpy, mean sort of way. A moment too late she realised she was still smiling at him. She quickly looked away and took another gulp of water.

"Yeah, I'm, uh...I'm sorry," she offered, her tone questioning. The bartender slipped into the booth.

"For what?"

She made a face. "For being drunk on a Tuesday night,"

"It's Wednesday," he corrected her. She took another gulp of the water.

"You're really just proving my point, bartender," she giggled, leaning back in her seat. "I'm also sorry for drinking about half of your tequila stock. I think. Actually I'm not so sure I mind about that. I will tomorrow, 'cos I'm gonna have a hangover!" she sang the last words. His eyes widened in surprise. "I sing," she told him.

"Yeah, no kidding," the bartender muttered. Then he cleared his throat. "And don't worry about the tequila. Selling that stuff to people is kind of what we're here for."

She nodded at his words. "Yeah, when life kicks you in the ass we come to bars and drink, right?"

He laughed, though she thought it was more a bitter, sad laugh than anything else. "You're damn right," he agreed.

She looked at him for a second. "So why do you go to bars and drink?" she asked him.

"I work here, and I haven't been drinking. Tonight," he tacked on as an afterthought. She chuckled.

"No, but I mean how are you? I don't get the feeling many people ask the bartender that."

He frowned. "They don't," he agreed. "But no offence, I don't know you and I don't really want to talk about my problems with you."

"I understand," she shrugged, taking another sip of her water. "But have you ever heard of King Midas?"

The bartender frowned. "What?" he asked incredulously, folding his arms across his chest and leaning forwards. Jess smiled at him.

"Well, there was this guy, called King Midas, and after he pissed off some guy he got given these donkey ears."

"Donkey ears?"

"Eee aww, eee aww," she brayed, holding her hands up to her head in the shape of ears. She checked his face to make sure he was listening. He was making that turtle face at her again. She took that as a good sign. "He was so embarrassed that he always wore this hat over the ears to cover it up, and he wore this hat all the time, but when his hairdresser came he saw the ears. King Midas told him not to tell anybody, but the hairdresser couldn't keep the secret, so he dug a hole in the ground and whispered it to the hole."

The bartender was still looking at her like she was drunk. Which she was anyway, but she felt it was beside the point. "What?" he sighed, folding his arms.

Jess looked at him sympathetically. "I could be your hole in the ground, if you want to talk."

The man laughed. "Try me after a drink or three."

"Okay. Here's three beers on me," she grinned, holding out a bunch of dollars to him. The bartender frowned.

"I am so going to regret this..." he muttered, rolling his eyes. He took the money and went up to the bar.

An hour later, when six beer bottles and a thrice-refilled glass of whisky stood devoid of their contents on the table, the bartender finally began to talk, albeit in a slightly slurred voice.

"So my girlfriend dumped me," he told her.

"I'm sorry," she grimaced at him, taking a swig from her second beer. The cloud in her head feeling was beginning to return to her.

"She's amazing, she's like so amazing, and tomorrow I'm gonna call her and be like 'you made a huge mistake, 'cos I just won the lottery and I'm stinking rich,' and she'll be all independent at first, saying how money's only a material form of Satan or whatever, but then she'll realise that she totally wants to sleep me again, and it will be amazing."

"The relationship?"

"The sex," he shook his head. He gulped at the beer bottle in his hand, then grunted. "Actually the sex was never amazing. So I guess it has to be the relationship."

"Did you love her?" Jess asked him.

"I don't believe in love. I think it's stupid, and people in it are stupider 'cos they're too stupid to know that what they're in is stupid and a lie."

Jess laughed. "Want to know a secret?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. Is it a big one? I don't like responsibility."

"I don't think she was the one for you, bartender!" she hissed dramatically, before bursting into laughter. He made the face again.

"What are you talking about, of course she is!" he muttered. Jess shook her head.

"Like, I'm with my boyfriend now, and he's totally great and I...love him. I believe in love, and if you don't, don't you think that means you've never felt it?" she asked him, sipping her drink.

"I've felt love!" he yelled.

"What does it feel like?" she asked him. He looked at her like she was stupid.

"It feels like..." he leaned forwards towards her. His mouth was open for a second before he started talking. "Like you want to buy a beer with her."

"Wrong."

"Like you want to eat a dinner with her in a place other than the Drive-Thru."

"Nope."

"Like you want sleep together for more than twenty minutes."

"Eh ergh," she said, making the noise of a buzzer.

"Well, if you're so smart, why don't you tell me what it feels like?" he yelled.

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. I say, fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find them? Well, you forget your head, and you listen to your heart. And I'm not hearing any heart. Cause the truth is, honey, there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, cause if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

Nick was silent for a moment. Then he scowled. "That's from 'Meet Joe Black' you ninny!"

Jess burst of laughing. "You called me a ninny!"

"If you think love is so great then what are you doing here talking to me?" the bartender yelled. Jess raised her eyebrows at him.

"Um. Because, my boyfriend and I had a fight while I was PMS-ing,"

"Urgh."

"And I needed to find my own hole in the ground to talk to," she finished. The bartender looked up at her. They were quiet for a moment.

"You have really big eyes, anybody ever told you that?" he said, suddenly.

"Yeah, they have."

"Like a fly."

"Nobody's actually said that one before," she laughed once. Then she sighed, continuing. "I wanted to get in my car and drive someplace where I'd be lost, get really drunk in a bar where I didn't know anyone, and I wanted to pour my guts out to a random stranger. So, mission accomplished!" she rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her beer. The bartender looked at her for a moment.

"I wanted to get drunk, call my ex stupid names and set her garbage bins on fire. Instead I only did the first one, cause I ran into you."

Jess laughed, nodding her head. "I should probably get back. I think I'm sober enough to walk to a friend's house, it's not far."

The bartender looked surprised. "Really? You were pretty hammered, why don't you stay?"

She shook her head. "I'm gonna be fine. I mean, I'm definitely not going to remember any of this tomorrow morning, bartender, but I'm okay for now."

"Do you want to know my name?"

The question was unexpected to both of them. The bartender looked surprised he even said it. Even so, Jess' answer was quick.

"A hole in the ground doesn't have a name," she shrugged, smiling in a teasing way at him.

"Unless it's Doug. Like 'dug', get it? Like a hole?" the bartender said.

"Are you sure you're okay to get home?" she laughed, looking at the drunk man in front of her.

He waved a hand in the air. "As long as I've got my moustache I'll be fine."

"You don't have a moustache."

"Damn it," he frowned, stroking his bare upper lip. Jess laughed.

"It was nice meeting you, Hole in the Ground."

The bartender looked up at her thoughtfully. "You too."

Jess hesitated, then curtsied to him. The bartender burst out laughing.

"What was that?" he chortled. Jess joined in laughing.

"Spur of the moment, Hole in the Ground."

They looked at each other for a moment, as their laughter died down. Blue eyes met brown.

The cloud was suddenly back in Jess' mind, however the daze she was feeling this time...she was almost positive that it was for a different reason. She felt the air between them heat up, and her pulse began racing. Electricitycrackled, and notjustfrom the dodgy lights hanging from the ceiling.

The bartender looked at her, and could swear the air in front of him was a glass of beer, bubbling and fizzing over at the top into a big foamy bubble, clouding up both vision and inhibitions. He could hear the crackling of popping bubbles between them, or maybe it was just from behind the bar. After a moment the girl smiled, pushed her dorky glasses further up her nose and turned away.

"Hey, what happened in the end?" he called out, desperate for something to say. The girl turned back to face him.

"In the end of what?" she asked, smiling a little nervously.

"King Midas," the bartender grinned. "What happened?"

Jess laughed. "Umm, I think everyone found out about the donkey ears."

"Really?" he frowned. "Doesn't that kinda defeat the purpose of the whole story?"

The girl shook her head, then suddenly grabbed the top of a bench to steady herself. "Not really," she shrugged, rubbing her temple. He could tell she was going to have one heck of a hangover tomorrow. "The hairdresser just had to tell someone. It wasn't his fault everyone found out anyway. I think there are some things that don't have to be secrets."

The bartender nodded slowly at her. "I think I know what you're saying, but I am super drunk right now."

Jess laughed. "G'night, Hole in the Ground."

"G'night," he said, watching her turn towards the door again. He looked down at the table for a second. He realised he didn't want the night to end that way. He wanted to grab her and kiss her senseless - but that might be the whisky talking.

"My name's..." he called after her, but he just caught sight of her billowing ebony hair sweeping out the door, and a millisecond later she was gone. He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity, and looked back at the table. He had lost another amazing girl, a girl so amazing he'd felt more of a connection with her in just one night that in years with Caroline. He didn't even know her name. He only knew that he wouldn't remember her tomorrow, and that she wouldn't remember him. He laughed again quietly at his stupidity.

"Hey Nick, you mind helping me close up?" Big Bob yelled from over the bar. Nick sighed.

"Why not?" he muttered.