Felinis: hehe being cruel to characters and all that
She wasn't always mean towards Zelos. In fact, as cruel as she was he still had memories that were happy and coated in a ray sunshine. Mylene sometimes would smile at him and kiss his forehead and say good things that made him feel loved. They were small and scattered among all the memories of her brushing his hand aside and kicking him away, but they were there.
There were days when his mother might have cared for him.
But then there were other days- days where she'd pull him from Sebastian to scream and beat on him with all the anger she'd built up over the past few days?-weeks?- it didn't matter how long. The injuries were always fixed with artes or gels before anyone could notice.
"I hate you!" Mylene grabbed his young throat not crushing him just yet, "I hate you! You disgusting thing!"
"I'm sorry," Zelos used to say that a lot when she was like this. She squeezed his throat tighter and tighter to force out all the air and watch his face turn almost purple. He didn't fight her because she was mom and even if she said these awful things she was his mother. You're supposed to love her no matter what.
She always let go just as he was passing out. Her hands always stopped stamping into his face when blood started dripping from his mouth or nose. Mylene never did anything that scary. Or at least she never used full-on torture techniques. No, they were just brutish and unrelenting in their onslaught to a point where he was used to making sure to never walk beside her in private.
He didn't want to be pushed to the ground again.
Mylene was worse when she had been drinking. She'd come in towering above him with eyes that were brimmed with hate and venom with a sway that was unsteady but certain.
"You fucking piece of shit." Her voice would slur in the tiniest fraction but it was always that blizzard of fiery anger in tone that would shake him. The way Mylene would stare at him from a distance before throwing him against a wall or the ground. "I did everything I could to make sure that you never happened. I tore my own body up with everything they offered and in the end, you still were born."
"I'm sorry."
"Louder!" A kick to his stomach.
"I'm sorry!" If Zelos was crying or not didn't matter just that he said those words till his throat scratched in exhaustion while she wailed on him with no mind to stop.
"What are you?" She'd scream in his ear before boxing him in the nose. "Say it! Say what you are!"
An accident,
a mistake,
an error,
a misfortune,
a disaster,
a blight,
a thing that should never been.
"I'm sorry!"
When all was said and done and he was left crying on the ground in his own blood and urine soaked pants sobbing uncontrollably there was a single question she'd say as she stroked Zelos's hair sweetly. "Do you love me?"
And he would say, "Yes. I love momma." Because it had been true. Mylene at least looked at him and called him by his name, unlike his father. Mylene at least stayed in their cold house when she could have gone elsewhere and left him alone.
And sometimes when she was very happy she'd call him her little angel. There was affection among the cruelness. There was some form of kindness however warped.
She had been in such a good mood that snowy night when they went to make a snowman. That entire day Mylene had not once ignored him or looked at him with utter disdain which had been a blessed miracle. The rest… the rest goes about how he told Lloyd.
Caught in the crossfire by chance with her body struck through and killed instead of him.
"You should have never been born."
He knows. Zelos knows he only exists to die for everyone and that nobody cares much either way. He knows Seles was the better choice between the two of them. He knows that his birth was a misfortune that ruined his mother's life and locked Seles up in that abbey. There are no illusions to him that his life was a mistake.
