AN – This is my first attempt at a song fic. Trust me to make it smut… The song has been buzzing around my head for ages as a song that suited Jack, but it suddenly struck me that it fitted Ianto as well.
Each set of lyrics is "thought" by the person who's POV follows them, or by both of them if the following section starts with them both. Hope that make sense. Set after Small Worlds.
Torchwood belongs to the BBC, not me, and the quite fantastic lyrics are "I Want Love" written by Elton John.
I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated
Jack stood in his office. Alone again. The Hub was empty; everyone had left him.
And he was tired. Tired of being the only one could see the bigger picture, who could understand. Tired of being the one that had to make all the difficult decisions and then being hated for them. Tired of people he cared about dying because of him. But most of all he was tired of being alone.
But he knew with the life he had led, and the decisions he had made, and would still have to make, alone was all he would ever be.
He turned, surprised at suddenly hearing the office door open behind him.
I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart
Ianto closed the office door behind him and walked steadily towards Jack. He had heard what had happened; had seen the disgust in everyone's eyes when they had returned. Seen them leave Jack alone.
He knew what it was to be on the receiving end of that look. He knew what it was to have someone you love taken from you. And he knew what it was to be alone. He had never felt so alone. So hurt, so damaged. He didn't want to feel alone anymore. He didn't want to feel anything anymore.
But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
Jack and Ianto fell on each other in one unspoken move. Mouths found each other, hot and warm. Tongues, lips and teeth probing, flicking, biting, sucking.
Hands clutched roughly at jackets, braces, shirts, ties. Fingers found buttons and zips. Pulling, pushing, ripping, and finally fingers where on skin. Flesh was pressed against hot flesh. Bodies moved together, against each other, never being close enough.
Needy, desperate, passionate, longing, frantic, confirming, freeing.
I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic
Jack spun Ianto around and leaned him over the desk. He needed this, but couldn't look him in the eye. Couldn't let the other man see what would be all too obvious there. Didn't want him to see the pain and loneliness; to see his history laid bare and exposed.
Jack's hand flew into his desk drawer and desperate fingers sought out the bottle of lube. Fingers coated, he prepared Ianto. He tried not to hurt him, but he didn't have it in him to be gentle; not tonight. He needed to possess; take what was being offered. But Jack didn't receive any protests. He felt Ianto push back against him, push himself deeper onto his exploring hand and he thrust his fingers up, eliciting a deep moan from the man underneath him.
With a guttural groan of his own Jack prepared himself.
So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough
Ianto closed his eyes as he felt Jack's cock against his opening. He wanted this, needed this. Wanted to feel Jack take him, fill him, fuck him.
Ianto gasped and winced slightly as he felt Jack push his way inside him. But the pain felt good. It felt real. Suddenly Ianto felt everything he had needed. His closed-off heart beat faster as his body gave in to the physical sensations.
He kept his eyes closed as Jack moved inside him, pushing deeper and deeper; pushing the hurt in his heart to one side. Ianto felt Jack's hand come around his body and start to work his cock in time with the thrusts. Ianto moaned again. It had been so long since someone had touched him. Since someone had made him feel this alive. Since someone had made him feel anything but pain.
But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
With a cry they came together, their sweaty bodies stayed pressed close as they fought to catch their breath.
There were many things that this wasn't, many things that neither man would ever be, but at least, right now, they weren't alone.
AN – Comments, concrit, reviews loved as always. Partic on this as it's my first attempt.
