Ok so I do enjoy writing but I seem to start things too large and then lose interest quick. One of my favorite authors I read here uses songs to write her stories to. Music is a huge influence to my life and I found writing to become much easier when I know the direction to move in. So I'm using it as a crutch to build up my writing. Eventually I'll revisit the two false starts and figure out what to do with them but for now I'm going to stick to shorter stories. This story has already been completed, so rest assured this one will not leave any cliff hangers!

"Waitin', watchin' the clock

It's four o'clock"

She couldn't help but pace the living room floor wondering why he wasn't home when she woke up. No. That's a lie, she knew exactly why he wasn't there. He was with her…every time he was with her. Frustrated silent tears raced down her cheeks. "Why can't I be enough?" She quietly keened to herself. Twisting her hands together as her heart raced with anger, she stops and heads to the kitchen for a glass of water. Grabbing a cup and filling it from the tap she takes a few slow sips to try to steady her erratic breathing and bring her mind under control. What was it that she hadn't given him that Kikyo could? Why did she let him sneak out to her when it was a slow torture to her own heart. How had she allowed this to continue?

Placing the cup into the sink and bracing herself on the counter, she closed her eyes and attempted tp will her train of thoughts to stop being so irrational.

The idea of calling him kept repeating itself in her head but what would she say if he answered? Texting seemed like a better option, she wouldn't have to worry about if her voice broke and betrayed her emotions. She couldn't let him know that he had gotten to her. But he had. The fear of having a verbal confrontation and revealing more than she intended was dangerous. She couldn't risk voicing why she wanted out and accidentally reveal her insecurities in the heat of the moment. All he had to know was that this was over. Not why it was over, easy enough to explain that it was because he was cheating on her. Yet the deeper issue resided on who he was cheating on her with and the deep marks it left in her psyche.

Will Kikyo always be better than me? Is she everyone else's first choice too? Do people only pretend to like me for who I am or are my traits somehow driven by a past I can't control?

Of course the logical side was at war with the absurdity of those thoughts, it just didn't change the fact that on some level she was still looking for reassurances to those questions.

Briefly considered was the notion to just pack it all in and leave in the dead of night when he snuck out. Giving him the same treatment he so kindly bestowed up on her. No muss no fuss, no messy break up. Cancel her phone number, move towns and start new as her own person and not some shadow creature of a fallen priestess. That was shot down quickly though when she realized they still had the same circle of friends, so running into him was inevitable given enough time. As it were Kagome didn't take herself as someone who ran away from her problems, and this was his fault anyway. If anyone was leaving town it should be him!