Chapter 1
Lilaena briefly glanced up into her mentor's pale, grey-blue eyes. She couldn't hold his gaze for more than a couple of seconds. It had always been this way. Something about the intensity of that gaze along with the crippling schoolgirl crush she had on him – the emotion she felt was just too powerful; she was forced to look away. He was so damned attractive.
For years, she had secretly coveted him during every lesson; every moment she was in his presence, it was all she could do to quiet her pounding heart and try to hide the ache she felt for him. She wasn't sure when it had started, this overpowering infatuation. Not long after becoming his pupil, certainly. At some point the icy blue eyes – highly unusual for an Altmer - along with his lovely pale complexion and silvery platinum hair; the straight, tall build; those delicious dark red lips of his, and ironically, his seeming obliviousness to how incredibly beautiful he was; together these had conspired to ensnare Lilaena in this undying desire for her teacher. He was all business; a true master of his craft, universally considered one of the most brilliant students to have joined the Psijic Order in eons, able to control the elements – and possibly possessing of more sinister knowledge as well, if certain rumors were correct… But all she dreamed of was making him lose control. Somewhere under that cool and unflappable façade, she convinced herself she had sensed an animalistic passion and she wanted to be the one to unleash it.
She had imagined it countless times, planned it, mulled it over and been terrified to follow through for too long. As it would turn out, it wasn't really such a daunting task after all. A bit of obvious flirting, coyly delivered compliments, a few "accidental" touches here and there, and suddenly she found herself slammed between his tall, lean body and the ancient, cold stone wall of his study, his mouth on hers, and those beautiful pale hands of his clutching at her auburn hair with a hint of desperation. She responded eagerly, holding his face in her hands, caressing the soft, silvery locks that fell past his shoulders - intentionally willing the encounter to escalate. He arched himself up against her in a way that seemed almost automatic, hard under his robes, poking her in the belly. She reached down and grabbed him and he made an anxious little struggling sound; not something she'd ever expected to hear out of her typically solemn and intellectual mentor. It brought a sly smile to her face.
Abruptly, he lifted her off her feet and spun about, haphazardly chucking her onto his writing desk, which sent numerous items around her crashing to the floor. The back of her head bounced off the wooden desk, and it hurt a bit, but he didn't seem to notice. He was blinded by whatever animal urges had hijacked his logical mind, and clawed frantically at her dress, as if he'd forgotten that it was open at the hem and thought he must literally tear it off to access her nether regions. To help him, and to spare her dress any further injury, Lilaena reached down and drew up her skirt, wrapping her legs around his narrow hips and pulling him in closer. Eyes half-closed and breath coming in gusts, he bent down and stuffed his face into her neck, moving as if he thought he could somehow penetrate her through his mage's robes and trousers. She fumbled around the layers of fabric between them to find the laces at the front of his pants, yanking the ties out for him and helping to pull them down.
Lilaena knew exactly what she was about to do, but she wasn't sure what to expect, or how it would really feel, because she'd never actually done this before. She'd certainly heard all about it in great detail from other female students, and she was old enough to where most of her peers had been engaging in this sort of thing regularly for quite some time, but she'd always been very shy and studious. She'd just never wound up in a situation such as this one, and had never been inclined to seek it out until now.
She slid her hand down his trousers and wrapped her fingers around him. He felt hot in her hand and there was a strange combination of hardness under the very softest and most delicate skin, not like anything she'd felt before. It was bigger than she had expected; much bigger, although having never really seen one in action, she couldn't be certain it was unusually so. However, knowing what was about to happen, his size made her a little nervous. She worried now that it might not actually fit. Or that it might be terribly painful. She really wanted to look at it, but he was firmly pressed up against her with barely enough room for her to have slipped her hand down there. She imagined it was likely as pale and pink as the rest of him. Or perhaps it was the only part of him that was a proper Altmer golden color. She almost laughed, but she stopped herself as she knew there couldn't possibly be a much worse time to suddenly burst out laughing.
He kept pushing against her as if he was blindly hoping that he would eventually find the place he wanted to go. But his aim wasn't very good; not to mention he was huge and for an Altmer, she was tiny – he seemed to become progressively more desperate and frustrated. He finally reached down, felt around, and unceremoniously jabbed a long finger inside her, eliciting a small yelp of pain, which he did not acknowledge. Having successfully located what he was after, he promptly removed the finger, drew back a bit, and thrust himself into her so aggressively that Lilaena felt the wind had been knocked out of her. This was a whole new level of shocking. She gasped, trying not to cry out. The pain made her dizzy, and she was not altogether sure she could take it. She bit her bottom lip and struggled not to flinch too obviously.
Thankfully, once he was inside of her, he became still for a moment, giving her a chance to compose herself. Perhaps he had noticed his protégé was in pain and decided he needed to be gentler. Lilaena wasn't sure, but she was definitely relieved. He softly kissed her face and neck before pulling back and lacing his fingers with hers, pinning her hands to the table on either side of her head. He stared intently into her face with an unreadable expression. Slowly, he started to move again. It was obvious he was putting great effort into keeping his movements very slow and gentle. It was still unpleasantly painful, but a bit more tolerable than before. He said nothing, but leaned in close and kissed her mouth. After just a moment or two, he abruptly stopped kissing her and tucked his face back into her neck. He let go of her hands and wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her up against him tightly and jamming himself inside of her so hard she cried out. He no longer seemed to be in control of his actions. He pushed his forehead against hers, his eyes slammed shut, and let out an involuntary groan. His whole body seemed to stiffen before collapsing on top of her on the desk, panting into her hair one side of her head. Lilaena had felt everything inside and out, she knew exactly what had happened, and she was more than a bit relieved that it had ended so quickly. He remained on top of her like a very lanky sack of potatoes, winded, for several minutes before he finally pulled out and straightened back up. Lilaena had been pretending she'd enjoyed it as best she could, stroking his hair and his back as he lay slumped over her, but when he stood up, there were obvious dark splotches on the front of his trousers and some on his robe. She was mortified.
The pale blue eyes darted down to his bloodied clothing and back to her. "Did I hurt you?" He inquired, still slightly out of breath.
Lilaena wasn't sure what to say. "Uh… no… well, a little – it's not your fault - It's just that… I've never done this before." She explained, feeling her face grow hot with embarrassment.
"Oh… I – I didn't know," her mentor responded. He looked concerned.
"Well, of course you wouldn't have known. I probably acted like I do it all the time."
He laughed. "No… you just acted like you wanted it. Very badly."
Lilaena hid her face in her hands. "Oh Gods."
"What? It's not a bad thing. I wanted it as well." He assured her. He stepped forward and pressed her head to his chest. "Just don't tell anyone."
"Oh, I won't," she avowed. She knew he was right. The Order would not take kindly to the idea of them engaging in anything other than a strictly professional relationship. And they were already watching her mentor very closely due to rampant rumors he was involved in something they vehemently opposed: Necromancy.
