Lorenzo Douglass, a ten year old, just woke up and jumped out of bed.

"Oh boy, this is the day that I finally get my first pokemon,' he said and jumped out of the window without even changing.

He landed on the ceiling of Professor Pencil's laboratory and made a brand new hole that wasn't there before.

"Finally, after 20 years of hard and long work, I have found the cure for pokecancer, and I get to save the world after this!" Professor Pencil exclaimed. "I just have to be really careful with these mathematical formulas and this ridiculously small vial. If I drop this, my whole life's work would be ruined!"

The professor laughed awkwardly as Lorenzo fell onto his work, utterly destroying it and splattering the vial on the floor.

"Woah, sorry about that doc, but I came to get my first pokemon!" Lorenzo stated excitedly.

Professor Pencil didn't answer because he was too busy crying over his life's work vanishing like sonic the hedgehog running (brb read my fanfic shadow the supersaiyanjediophedgehog ecks dee)

"What's the matter?" Lorenzo asked. "It wasn't like I destroyed the cure for pokecancer, the disease that has mercilessly ended the lives of hundreds of millions in the course of two decades."

Professor Pencil fell into a panic attack and was rushed to the hospital by his lab assistant, and Lorenzo just stood there awkwardly.

"Oh well," he said. "If no one is going to hand me a starter pokemon, then I might as well take one myself. Now where does Professor Pencil keep the pokeballs at?"

Lorenzo rummaged through dozens of classified files, including files about the existence of legendary pokemon, the cure for aids, and many more trivial files. It didn't concern him, for he had much better things to worry about, like what was his starter gonna eat for breakfast on the 15th of January.

Not finding pokemon in files with documents, he began pushing buttons randomly where he looked, while looking at the labels occasionally.

"US missile launch codes, no, existence of extraterrestrial life, no, incoming doomsday, no, starter pokemon for the tiny kids, bingo!" he yelled as a pedestal erupted from the floor and three pokeballs were around the center.

Why wasn't this already prepared? Lorenzo thought, but he shrugged and grabbed a random one.

"Go, whatever you are!" he hollered as he chucked it at the ceiling, right through the hole he created when he free-fell from his house.

"Ow, my leg!" he heard someone yell in agony from the distance, but that starter was a lost cause.

He picked up the next one and tossed it at the wall this time. He threw it with so much force that the ball shattered, killing the innocent creature that was inside of it.

Well, that's just life. Lorenzo reassured himself as he gently picked up the final pokeball.

I need to handle this one like a newborn child, a calm, innocent baby that I need to take care of, and I have nothing to worry about. Lorenzo thought calmly.

"AHHHHH" he shrieked. "I HATE RESPONSIBILITIES!" He then threw it at the floor, just as hard as the last time if not harder in his blind panic.

Along with the pokeball, the floor tile also shattered, revealing a keypad.

"Alright!" Lorenzo screamed with glee. "Professor Pencil must've wanted me to find this secret! He must know me really well to design such an elaborate plan, but what is the password?"

Lorenzo assumed a thinking pose and 2 seconds after he assumed the pose, he started to press buttons.

"1, hmmm, 1, 1 , and 1!" Lorenzo said aloud to no one.

"Incorrect passcode," the panel beeped. "You are not even near correct, and I can easily tell you aren't Professor Pencil. Be gone, Soviet intruder."

Missiles came out of surprisingly nowhere, and Lorenzo responded by putting on his limited edition 2009 Matrix Convention shades. This was extremely helpful because the missiles also appeared to be targeting him.

He dodged one, did a backflip over another, backed into a corner, climbed the wall, grabbed a rocket, and threw it into the panel.

"System shutdown," it beeped. "I'll be back," it said as it faded to nothing.

There was revealed to be a ladder beneath the panel, and Lorenzo started climbing down it to the unknown.

Several hours had passed since the encounter, and Lorenzo was getting bored.

"Oh well," he said aloud. "I might as well jump down, the least I'll get is death, am I right?"

He let go of the ladder, and started falling for hundreds of feet. He faced the heights with a determined face, but then he began to ponder how he would get back up. Then he came up with an answer to that.

"Surely after I beat the final boss in this dungeon, then I will be magically teleported to the lab, and speaking of the lab, I wonder when I'll get my starter," he thought some more.

His fall was nearing the end of its course, and he surprisingly landed on a very soft, cushioned mattress that didn't break his legs.

He immediately noticed that the only thing in the room was said mattress, and a locked, metal, rusty door, that was partially eroded. There was also a little bit of wall around the door, but that served no purpose.

I could use one of the holes from erosion to use the doorknob on the other side, but where's the fun in that? I'll just kick it down, like that Terry Crews. Lorenzo thought.

By "it" he of course didn't mean the door, but the wall instead. Lorenzo posed like Jackie Lee or Bruce Chan and made a Lorenzo Douglass shaped hole through the wall to the other side.

There was a narrow hallway leading to a purple pokeball on a pedestal, which had a note attached to it. It was in a glass container, which Lorenzo eagerly broke.

Lorenzo showed a rare scene of common sense and decided to read the note before breaking the pokeball, like he normally would.

It said,

To Ferrule Pencil,

As you know, I have spoke with you about the panel and have given you the passcode, which i have engraved in your memory, 2845. You are now down here, in case of an emergency so dire that the entire world is in danger.

Whoever be the threat to the planet, Soviets, North Koreans, Chinese Communists, or the legends turning against us, I present to you the solution to the trouble: a singular pokemon.

This pokemon can shapeshift and can possibly destroy the entire universe. His name is Bob, he is a ditto, and is very loyal to whoever first sees him. He also has a strange fascination with cheese. Use him with caution.

Your father, Lead Pencil

"Sounds like a job for Lorenzo Douglass!" he loudly exclaimed as he grabbed the ball and gently let it fall on the ground.

Just as the note said, a pink blob appeared. It had a simple smile on its face and immediately jumped onto Lorenzo's head.

"Aw, that's cute," he said. "Now, Bob, let's go to the surface."

"Okay, but I would wish to know who you are first," Bob asked earnestly.

"I am Lorenzo Douglass, the next best trainer in the world!" he said, stroking his own ego a little.

"Okay then, Zoey!" Bob said, immediately coming up with a nickname for him.

"My names not-" Lorenzo started, but he was cut off by ditto becoming a rocket and flying to the surface quickly, ignoring all stone in his way.

"-Zoey.." Lorenzo said weakly as Bob stood next to Lorenzo, who was shocked.

"You must like the nickname I gave you then!" Bob said excitedly. "You said it, and it was right after you introduced yourself!"

"Okay then Bob, we will go on a journey to conquer the league, starting now!" Lorenzo said, ignoring what Bob just said.

A nickname is gonna be least of my problems when I become a real trainer, and I might as well embrace it to make Bob happier.

"Now, here's the plan, Bob," Lorenzo said. "You are probably the only pokemon on this planet who can speak, and you must not show your ability to anyone, excluding me."

"Now, where are we?" Lorenzo said, an actually sensible question.

"We are right in front of Route 1, what a coincidence!" Bob exclaimed.

Lorenzo began laughing for unknown reasons as a confused Bob stared at him.

"Silly Bob, we don't start at Route 1, for we are not beginners, and we shall instead take the long way, all the way to Cinnabar Island to gain the 7th gym badge!" he said.

"Yeah, but wouldn't it be nice to appreciate the lush, green, wondrous scenery of Viridian Forest and Route 1?" Bob questioned. "Also, wouldn't you be able to encounter newcomers just like you?"

"Yeah, but they're just fresh meat," Lorenzo explained. "We'd easily crush them."

"But it seems like you're the type of guy who would do 'rookie crushing', and shatter the hopes and dreams of those new trainers and eliminate future competition at the same time?"

"I like the way you think, Bob!" Lorenzo practically screamed out of excitement. "Let's proceed!"

This concludes chapter one. The now duo of an idiot and an all powerful being will crush the league, and I'll try to make it as interesting as I possibly can. As you can tell by my outbreak of ECKS DEE, I will often mock certain cliches of fanfiction, like Mary Sues.

Stay Real my dudes, this is realepearson signing off.