Why Me?


There is a type of man that every girl falls for. He's the bad boy, cool and suave. He looks at no one expect the Heroine™ and then they have a rocky, rollercoaster of a love story that end with good looking bad boy and Heroine™ living happily ever after in their semi-abusive love story.

If it were that simple, romance wouldn't be such a popular genre.

And yet, Iruka couldn't help but fall into the ploy of every good-looking guy he fell for. That was the problem though: they were good looking without being good on the inside.

But he was different somehow. Iruka lived just near his work and always came in every morning to buy a drink before work. He'd only ever worn his nametag a few times but Iruka knew his name and his face by heart even though he was too shy to ever use his name. He only ever made the coffee anyway, it wasn't like he would ever remember Iruka.

He was so handsome though. He was the carefree, bad boy type and he checked all Iruka's boxes and even made hot chocolates like a dream.

At least the drinks were good, Iruka told himself. If not, he'd had no reason to keep coming every day and wasting his hard-earned money.

"Iruko?"

Iruka watched the hand push a cup onto the counter but was lost in his own world to process until he heard, "Hot chocolate, lactose free."

"Ah, that's me, sorry." Iruka stepped up from the small group waiting and he was about to take the cup when he was stopped.

"Wait, gimme a sec." Pulling a marker from his green, uniform visor, the barista quickly wrote on Iruka's cup and handed it back to him. Kakashi gave a soft smile and said as he tucked the marker back up into his moonlight spark of hair, "Sorry about that. Have a nice day."

"Ah thanks," Iruka automatically said as he walked away, wondering what that had been all about. It was only when he got outside that he noticed the one line that had been added at the end that changed his name from Iruko into Iruka.

"Iruka!" A friend waved him down at the same coffee shop a few days later. It was the weekend and they chatted about work and soon enough the whole group showed up and as they talked Iruka couldn't help but glance at the employees who were taking it easy on the weekend.

He hadn't noticed that the shifts had switched. There Kakashi was though, leaning against the glass of the display case with a book in hand.

"Ah, Kakashi!" Rin suddenly called beside him and Iruka jolted in surprise. "Get over here!"

The way he stood up and slouched over screamed gorgeous but Iruka put a leash on the part of himself that was freaking out over how Rin apparently knew the hot barista.

"Hey, you coming to Obito's party next Friday or what?" Rin teased as Obito chimed in too.

"He better or else I'm going to drag him over by his hair!"

At that, Kakashi cutely ran a hand through his hair while chuckling nervously, "I'll be there, don't worry."

Iruka felt a leap in his chest as Kakashi walked away with a wave over his shoulder. He was suddenly nervous and excited for next Friday.

Sitting on a counter and way too drunk to be alive, Iruka pouted harder and wished it wasn't already half passed three. He'd been there all night and that stupid, gorgeous man hadn't even shown up. He'd even stayed back to help clean up even though Rin and Obito were passed out together in a lawn chair and the music had died down. People still milled about slowly and laughed but Iruka wanted a bit of peace.

Slipping off the edge and bending down to pick up a plastic bride, he and Kakashi were both startled to find each other from across the counter.

"You scared me!" Iruka shot and Kakashi scoffed.

"So did you." Kakashi chuckled and Iruka's shoulders flopped just as his heart did. "Have you seen Obito and Rin?"

"Uh," Iruka blushed as he realised this was the first time they were ever properly conversing. "I think I saw they by the pool."

Kakashi peered out the window and Iruka mentally squealed. He was in casual jeans and a sweatshirt and he was still so flawless. Then he spoke and Iruka jolted again. "Small world, huh?"

At Iruka's blank face, Kakashi continued with a smile that reached his eyes and felt genuine. "It's a small world that one of my regulars would know my best friends."

"Ah," Iruka couldn't help grinning widely. Even though he knew that smile was all part of the good-looking charm, he couldn't help but feel like his inside were in a washing machine. "Yeah, we know each other from school."

"You go to KonohaU?" The tilt of his head was charming.

"Yeah, I've been there for way too long."

Kakashi chuckled and Iruka felt like Kakashi was loving out of the crush territory. "I feel you."

They ended up on the couch talking more and playing cards until everyone else had finally trickled out and helped Obito and Rin back inside before locking up.

"So, you hate milk but eat tons of cheese?" Kakashi prodded as they walked down the street to their cars.

"I hate milk because of lactose intolerance but mozzarella, my dear man, is the exception." Iruka waved a finger too close to Kakashi's face and yet was still surprised when Kakashi caught it.

"And why is it an exception." Iruka noticed when Kakashi didn't let go of his finger. He was sober enough to realise that Kakashi was watching him carefully too.

"I think… It was something about bacteria that makes it okay." Iruka said in a lower tone.

"Interesting." Kakashi didn't look away but instead stopped at a car that was parked along the street, nodding his chin back to it. "Here's mine."

"Ahn," Iruka hoped he didn't look visibly disappointed. He didn't want to leave but the bus was going to leave in ten minutes at the next corner, so he mustered up his best smile. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Kakashi."

"Where's your car?"

"Huh?" Uh oh.

"Let me walk you to it." The gentleman act.

"Oh uh, I took the bus here." He hoped Kakashi wouldn't suggest it.

"Really? Let me drive you home then." Kakashi stroked his finger. Shit. He knew this routine. Playing nice guy to get into someone's pants. He had hoped Kakashi wasn't that kind of guy but… He wasn't going to pass up the opportunity.

"I mean, I don't want to take you out of your way." Kakashi smiled with a chuckle and Iruka was screwed.

Or at least that's what he thought would happen but instead they stood under the light of the lobby and said goodbye to Kakashi jogging back to his car and looking back in a daze.

And that got to him. For the entire weekend, he wondered if he'd said something on the ride back or if he was just too weird or aggressive.

It was only when he shyly went into the shop on Monday morning that it semi clicked and only fully a week later. The place was packed with people and he watched Kakashi rush with patience and a calm that only the bravest of people had. His drink came up and he was about to say hi to Kakashi when another employee swept him away.

He stepped outside and sipped dejectedly until he found the number written under his name. After the initial anxiety, he texted Kakashi and suddenly he was glued to his phone.

Gosh, this guy was so witty and nice. He was almost too nice and Iruka wanted to die because he knew there was the possibility of it being fake or all part of the bad boy lure to make Iruka fall harder for him.

A week later, Iruka walked into the shop after work when it wasn't busy and Kakashi gave him a smile. "Hey, gonna stick around?"

He was leaning his forearms on the glass and Iruka could watch them all day long. "Yeah, hope you don't mind."

"Yes, I mind a lot actually." Kakashi smirked and gestured to the almost empty shop. "I've got tons of customers, Iruka. You can't be coming in here and distracting me."

They laughed and Kakashi told him to sit down while he made him a drink. Minutes later, they were sitting together in the quiet shop and talked about their day.

"Let me take you out tonight."

Iruka almost choked on his drink. "Me?"

"Yes," There was that fond smile again and Iruka fidgeted nervously, touching his blushing cheek.

"I guess you could."

"It's a date."

They went out on the town that night and walked together through the dimly lit streets until they came across a park projecting a movie on screen and sat down on the grass together. It was sweet and romantic and Iruka thought to himself, 'fuck. This is the beginning of the end of me.'

Kakashi walked him back to his apartment again and they sat on the stoop for hours talking until Iruka yawned, opening his eyes to Kakashi standing up and offering a helping hand. He didn't even kiss Iruka goodnight.

But they did make plans for the weekend.

Inside Kakashi's car, they drove back to Iruka's place from the small restaurant and Iruka was mildly pissed and very much turned on. Kakashi's advances were so goddamn slow and it was driving him off the wall with confusion and need.

The car was parked but Iruka didn't unbuckle right away and Kakashi looked over at him. "Hey, Iruka?"

He clicked the button and let the belt slide out of his hands slowly, watching Kakashi's dark eyes in the shadows look back at him. "Yes?"

"Do you hate me?"

Iruka was shocked beyond belief. "What? No."

"Good, just don't hate me after this." Lips were on his and Iruka was so confused he didn't react at first. And then it set in and he recovered, melting into the other man.

After making out in his car for the longest time, Kakashi pulled away to breathe and Iruka panted out, "You thought I'd hate you after that?"

"I don't know. You kept sending me mixed signals." Kakashi panted out and Iruka laughed, dropping his head to press against the hand Kakashi had on his seat.

"Okay then, let me give you a clear signal then." And Iruka kissed him back deeply, sliding a hand from Kakashi's shoulder to chest. "I want you."

They hooked up. After an almost scare of someone finding them in the car and a few minutes later, they were panting on top of each other in the driver's seat with Iruka offering, "Want to come inside?"

"Yes, please."

Iruka woke up the next morning tired in all the right ways. He was mentally and physically exhausted. Yes, they did do the devil's tango multiple times and he was so sore all over from it. The sex was amazing and full of passion. Iruka had never been with someone like that; someone who wanted to both pound him into the sheets and make love to him slowly. Then they stayed up and talked and talked until they both passed out.

And when he looked over at Kakashi, Iruka knew he was deeply and utterly lost in his feelings for this man.

They had made a mess of his room too. Jeans and shirts and socks were lost into the abyss and Iruka wondering vaguely where his phone was. Feeling that burst of early bird energy, he started to clean up the room and even found a wallet. Unclear if it was his, he stood back up in the middle of his room with Kakashi waking up in the bed behind him and checked if it was his. It wasn't, and he was about to put it with the pile he made of Kakashi's things when he saw the driver's license. A sleepy looking Kakashi stared back up at him and then he saw the date of birth.

"Mm," Kakashi hummed and shifted. "Hey."

Iruka didn't answer.

Looking up, Kakashi saw Iruka's frozen form and sat up. "Hey… You okay?"

"Kakashi." Iruka finally asked slowly, "How… How old are you?"

Without turning around, he waited and listened to the response, "Twenty."

Iruka was going to die.

He snapped the wallet shut and gripped it hard. "And how old do you think I am?"

There was no answer and Iruka found him sitting there confused. "I'm assuming now that you're sixteen and that I should be leaving."

"No. No. No. Thank god. I look that young?" Iruka was so confused and baffled and Kakashi could only shrug.

"I don't… I don't know. It didn't really matter what age you were. I was thinking that you were amazing."

Blushing and flustered, Iruka couldn't help but snap. "I'm thirty."

They both froze as reality set in.

"Thirty?"

"Yeah. Well, going to be in like… less than a year."

"Huh."

"Yeah." Iruka looked at the younger man who stared back at him. "You look a lot older."

"You don't."

"How old do I look?"

"Young. I thought you were at least eighteen."

Iruka suddenly felt too naked and grabbed a shirt. He was pulling it on when he felt the other man behind him. "Iruka."

He pulled the shirt down slowly and couldn't turn around. He felt dirty. He didn't know what to think except that he was a borderline child molester even though he knew it had been consensual and that Kakashi had definitely been the one to take control.

"Iruka." Hands were on his shoulders, massaging as Kakashi murmured softly. "I don't care about your age."

"Yeah?" Iruka whispered back, feeling like the crumbling feeling was passing with every word and touch from the other man.

"Yeah. We're not doing anything illegal, but I know that this might feel… Weird."

"Yeah, weird is just the tip of the iceberg." Iruka whined but felt the hands rubbing his sides and lips kissing his ear sensually to Iruka's dissipating unease.

"It wasn't weird before."

He was right. It hadn't even been a twinkle in their thought process and Iruka was slowly giving into Kakashi's drawing aura again. He agreed, "It wasn't."

"We can get back to that, if you want." His hands whispered of what they could do, and they persuaded him into that disarming warmth that had him melting.

They did not go back to bed though and ended up on Iruka's couch with Iruka listening to Kakashi's chest as the TV played. He could easily forget the difference in ages for now.

Months later though, as Kakashi cooked in Iruka's kitchen, he did feel the gap. It wasn't even in the way he expected though, he was almost jealous that Kakashi was so young and was so accomplished already. Kakashi had a car, was an assistant manager at his job and was already writing his thesis for his doctorate. At nineteen.

He was a machine who had goals and was going to be a researcher/professor of biochemistry and here Iruka was, teaching high schoolers Spanish and substituting for math teachers.

Why was he feeling bad for himself? It really made no sense. He shouldn't be pitying himself because his boyfriend was amazing. They were two different people and they both had their strengths, weaknesses and experiences.

Kakashi was staring at him from across the table with a raised brow and he realised he was making a funny face. Glancing back to the food, Kakashi wondered, "What are you thinking so hard on?"

Humming, Iruka wondered if he should even bring it up. "Just… Really surprised that you're already going for your PhD, is all."

"Well," Kakashi slowly responded, distracted by his own hands. "That was… I guess my hobby when I was a kid."

"School was your hobby, huh?" Iruka teased. "Well, that makes one of us a nerd and that's not me."

"Haha," His sarcasm faded away, losing himself slowly to his own thoughts and Iruka knew there was more to it than just a dorky kid who liked school. Iruka wanted to ask more but he knew it was a sensitive topic. He had asked before about his partner's childhood but was always met with a stone wall. Iruka had decided to let his curiosity lie, let Kakashi tell him at his own pace if he ever felt comfortable.

"Anyway, Friday tomorrow," Iruka changed the subject and Kakashi livened back up a bit, humming in agreement.

"Want me to meet you after work?"

"Hm?" That was an unusual suggestion on Kakashi's part but Iruka didn't mind the extra time with his boyfriend all. "If you want to. If you're not busy."

There was a chuckle and Kakashi looked over his shoulder at Iruka with a charming smirk. "I've got plans. They're all with you though, I hope you're okay with that."

Feeling giddy at the idea of being taken out on a mystery date made Iruka grin brightly as he replied, "Don't mind at all."

It only dawned on him that night when Kakashi left that he had been swept off his feet like a freaking princess back there. And he didn't hate it. Not one bit. All it took was one damn smile and a few words from that face and he was a soft pretzel in the sun. Kakashi was smart and kind and everything that Iruka wasn't but was the same person all at once. When he looked back at all his past relationships and occasional lovers, he realized that while he might have loved them in the moment, this was what love was.

Even though there was that anxious feeling at the back of his mind that screamed about their ages and how Kakashi had been ten when Iruka had turned nineteen, he had to remind himself that Kakashi wasn't ten years old now. He was an adult and Iruka would never have even looked at Kakashi in any way other than a child if he had been any younger. Iruka had never been attracted to kid and never would be attracted to them. He really loved Kakashi but if he had been any younger, Iruka knew that his morals were much stronger than love. At least, he hoped they were.

Damn, that man was so suave though.

The next day, Kakashi showed up at the elementary school Iruka worked at. When all the buses had left, and he looked up from his book to realise the parking lot was almost empty, he went over to the secretary.

"Ahn? Mister Umino?" The lady shook her head. "He had to leave early today. Seems like he caught a flu from one of the kids yesterday and had a bit of a mess after lunch."

"Ahn, thank you." He said as he headed back to his car and Iruka's apartment but not before stopping at a few places along the way. An assortment of liquids and medicines in hand, he knocked politely on Iruka's door. When his worry got the best of him, he unlocked the door with his own key.

"Iruka?" He called out softly. It was dead quiet other than the whirr of the fridge so he pulled off his boots to set next to Iruka's clumsily dropped pair and set everything down in the kitchen. Passing by a pile of jacket and scarf, he had to lean over Iruka's strewn bag to find in Iruka's bed the squirrelled-up shape of a human under the covers.

"Hey," He called softly, stepping around the side of his bed. There was a muffled groan but otherwise Iruka was dead to the world. With his bedhead ponytail and his work clothes still on, Iruka was hidden amongst the blankets with his cheeks flushed and breathing hard. Eyes barely open, he only slightly looked more alive than before but Kakashi was still relieved to see him conscious.

"What are you doing in my house?" Was what Kakashi thought he heard, and he chuckled.

"I went to pick you up and I heard you were sick." When Iruka didn't respond at first, he brushed away hair away from the burning forehead. "So, I came to see you."

There was finally a reaction and Iruka cracked his eyes open with a panic. "Oh shit, sorry…"

"It's okay." Seeing how messed up that ponytail was getting, Kakashi reached over and slowly started to pull out the elastic that he knew was meant for stationery and not hair. "I'm here to take care of you for the night instead."

A cute, wobbly smile appeared that wasn't pulled away by the tugging at his hair. "Ohhhhhhh, so sweet of you, babe."

"Any time, love." As Iruka's eyes fell back into the haze of sleep, he couldn't help but press a kiss against the burning forehead before heading off to the kitchen.

With a glass of water and some medication on the bedside table, he felt comfortable enough to laze around for a bit. After flopping on next to his patient and rubbing their back soothingly for a bit, he followed the urge to move back out into the living room and turned on the tv. It was a mildly boring night but he had planned to bring Iruka out to a casual supper somewhere so there wasn't a big difference other than different conversations and food.

There was something oddly warming about caring for someone and watching over them. He hadn't ever been over to someone's place without having that person conscious for most of it. His roving mind and eyes picked up on the organized state Iruka usually kept his place. The console that held the tv was all cupboards and shelving that held different books, pictures and bobbles that drew Kakashi to them. Eventually, his hands drifted to opening cupboards purely out of curiosity.

The first few were filled with books that he only partially recognized as popular titles. The next few contained assortments of candles, electricals, light bulbs and games but the last section in the corner tucked away from the others was filled to the brim with boxes. Normally, Kakashi wasn't a snoopy person. He didn't pry into other people's things and he liked his own privacy. This was his boyfriend's place though. Iruka was a casual kind of guy who was nonchalant about most things and very non-specific when it came to his past. He guessed that when Iruka talked about years before, it reminded him of their age gap and how old he was. So, when he snuck a peek into one of those boxes and saw photo albums, there was no second thought on taking them out.

The first few albums were full of pictures of people he didn't know but could guess who they were. A grinning boy with a ponytail was flashing a peace sign at the camera while other kids in the background played. There were endless photos of the same boy with two adults who all looked very much alike. At some point the pictures suddenly jumped in age and the brown-haired boy only rarely showed up in them but he looked older and his hair was longer. Then other people started reoccurring; a blond boy who couldn't have been more than five with rosy cheeks who looked like he was always throwing a tantrum. There was another teen too at some point who looked to be the same age as Iruka.

And then the background started to change. Instead of it being in homes or parcs, suddenly a teenage Iruka was grinning and throwing peace signs at what looked like parties. His hair got longer, and he often wore sunglasses when it was daytime. The backgrounds were more and more packed, and they were no longer from the point of view of someone in a crowd. Iruka was often in a loose tank top with a crowd in the background cheering as he grinned on stage. It was mystifying and so weird to see a younger Iruka at all these concerts in all these different venues, being the same quirky and silly self that Kakashi knew and adorde. It was like looking back on another life that Kakashi never knew about. No wonder Iruka had been held back in school if he really was at concerts to often when he was a teenager.

A familiar kid started showing up again and one picture stood out among the rest. Iruka was in a hospital bed with a wobbly grin and the blond boy was holding the camera now, reflecting the same wobbly smile that tried poorly to convince the camera that everything was alright. The last few pictures were just as out of place from the rest; a pony-tailed figure on stage in front of a roaring crowd as confetti rained down, Iruka and the blond kid throwing peace signs at a school and finally the duo and a concert sign that read Team Seven.

They looked close. Kakashi wasn't the jealous type or the suspicious type.

But they seemed close and he was intrigued why he'd never heard of this person before. They looked like they had known each other for years but there was no trace of the kid anywhere in Iruka's life and he was wondering why the name Team Seven sounded so familiar.

It was only the next morning when he was making breakfast that Iruka finally was conscious enough to sit up and eat anything.

"I'm so sorry about last night," He said while spooning oatmeal into his pale face. Shrugging, Kakashi sat on the other side of the bed and started eating too.

"Don't worry about it. I didn't really have any specific plans."

"You might get sick," The concern on his boyfriend's face was adorable and he chuckled.

"If I was going to be sick, I would be already with what you have."

There were small laughs and they watched videos together on Kakashi's phone until he felt the leaning pressure on his side get heavier. With Iruka fast asleep on his shoulder, he didn't want to move. He was comfortable like this and could see himself getting used to being around more. Iruka was like a second home. He was warm and goofy. There was always a listening ear for him and he knew that Iruka had become his anchor. Even though the older man couldn't cook to save his life, had a sweet tooth for days and was the clumsiest person on earth, he had a heart of gold. Iruka made him feel like he was amazing and that he could really be himself. He didn't know if what he felt was love but it sure felt like it.

He might never ask about the pictures or the blond kid, but he knew that one day Iruka would let him into that part of his world. He hoped one day that Iruka would accept the darker parts of Kakashi's life too. They may have started out as strangers over coffee, but he felt like this had grown accidentally into something more.

For now, he listened to the soft breathing and the occasional mumble of words from his partner beside him. Something about heroines?


Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing.