The thing with being a more sensitive human is that it always comes back to bite you in the ass. The shittiest thing about this is that it's almost one thousand percent your own fault that brought you here. You watch helpless as Maka scales the chain link fence around the property, almost effortlessly flying over the ten foot barrier.

"Beat that!" She laughs, challenging them from behind the chains. You want to speak up, but Star scoffs behind you, already stretching his legs.

"Watch me scale this whole fucker!" He declares, and you shush him, the way his voice echoes around the building making the hair on the back of your neck stand up. He snorts at you once before crouching down to sprint, waving your fears away. "There's nothing here, I doubt me and the woman are going to disrupt the ghosts."

"I already told you-" You start to speak up, but he blows past you, gleeful laughter spilling from him as he takes a running dive at the chain fence. "...It's not a ghost here, it's a demon." You pull out your phone, camera booting up. You're hesitant about actually turning it on of course, seeing as you're the one who told these fucking idiots about this old hospital, and you're goddamn terrified to see if your grandma's old stories about this place are true.

"Soul!" Maka's sweet, stupid, brave voice calls out to you, waving from where she's pulled back the weak spot in the fence. "Come on!"

You look behind her, at the sprawling outline of the old mental hospital that housed your grandma for six years when she was fourteen, due to her severe depression. She never really talks about treatment, but she's been telling you for years about the things she saw in there. Shadows in windows, broken mirrors, black handprints on the walls. Something lives in there, she would whisper before she tucked you and your brother in bed, something that was never like us.

For YEARS those stories have been scaring the shit out of you; they're great nightmare fodder, and at Halloween, they win you a scary story contest every now and then. But now you're actually here, you're at the fucking place that scared your grandmother so badly her voice still shakes when she tells the story, and it's all your fault. You were the fucking idiot that told Maka and Star the stories, you're the idiot that told them you totally believe that it's haunted and YOU'RE the idiot that fucking told them where the hospital was.

But that fucking girl is tapping her foot impatiently, and Star has his arm over her shoulders and like the sappy idiot you are, you jog over there. You're not one to keep them waiting, pretty much ever. When you pass under the fence, ice slides down your back and you're already ready to go home. You glare at the other two, turning on your video camera so the flash gets them both in the eyes, and they swear. "What the fuck, Evans?!"

"When we go in there and the fucking demon makes us his bitches, I want it on camera, that way, if we live, you two don't get to fucking whine about how it was just the wind, or whatever." You hold your camera on them, both of your lovers looking rather annoyed about it.

Maka breaks first, pulling out her phone. "It's not a bad idea actually."

"Fine," Star scoffs, pulling his out too. "And when we go in there and the worst thing that happens is tuberculosis, we all get to go to Denny's and I don't pay for shit."

Another shudder sneaks down your spine, and you're left wondering if it's from the paranormal or from the idea of fronting the bill after Star was done with it. He turns his phone on you, the light too bright already and you wince. "And there he is kids, the man, the legend, the Demon Bitch of Death City, Mr. Soul Evans!"

"Fuck you," You respond, looking over at the mental hospital. Parts of it jet into the sky, while others are laid low, like they're hiding from whatever's in the sky, judging it. There's a terrible aura to this place, but you know the second you say those words out loud the other two will be on your dick. "Are you sure you wanna go in there? Cuz like-"

"Cuz like, the Demon will get us?" Maka smiles, her phone on both of them.

"Fuckin' let him." Star scoffs, his neon blue hair somehow even brighter with the flashlights on him. "In fact, let's get in there now. I've always wanted a Demon to suck my dick."

"Please don't ask the demon to suck your dick." Your words are ignored as he runs for the gate, Maka not too far behind him. Again, surely not for the last time, you're cursing the fact that you ever brought this up. Maka looks behind her shoulder, the light from her phone illuminating your path. Star looks back at you, making a kissing noise.

"Baby, there's not a demon out there that can outsuck you."

"Come on!"

"Yeah, yeah." You answer, feet shuffling in the gravel as you make your way up towards the door, rusted chains leaving a laughable barrier in the hands of the Muscle Monkey currently tugging on them. By the time you're up the stairs, Star has the door open.

It creaks open slowly, and the smell of dust and mold hits the three of you like a wall, Maka already covering her nose. "God it smells-"

"Like death?" You finish for her, an annoyed look on your face. She blows you a kiss, and pushes her way to the front. Lights from the phones travel across the foyer. Dust covers everything that can be seen, there's creaks coming from somewhere above them, and Star is having a gleeful time finding as many graffiti penises he can, giving each one a rating.

"Look at this one! The veins make a smiley face."

"Shut up Star."

"I'm serious! This is some quality work! There's probably like, fifteen of them just in this room. We've found a goldmine of rebellious cock art!"

"I'll call Banksy." You mumble, using your phone to find the path to the stairs. Maka comes up behind you, her camera pointed at you.

"So, where did Grandma Evans find the ghost?"

"I already told you," You can hear the exasperation in your voice, and you've clocked no time in here yet. "It's not a ghost."

"What's the difference?" Star asks from where he's taking a selfie with an (admittedly) impressive six foot penis.

"Ghosts were people, whatever lives in here? It's never been one." You look up the stairs, then back at Maka. "There's a lot of places it's shown up. But you can almost always find it in the operating room, and in a few of the shock therapy rooms. I think it likes electricity. But, like I said, it's kind of everywhere."

"Do you think the Demon drew all the dicks?" Star asks, coming to join their powwow. "Follow up question, do you think the six foot one is his? Cuz that's worth an investigation."

"You're gonna get us all murdered." You sigh. Maka's fingers slide between yours and she tugs you towards the stairs. Like a fool, you follow her, as you always do. Star slinks up behind you, his hand carefully grabs a good handful of your ass, and you turn back to glare at him.

"What? It wasn't me. Maybe the Demon's a homo too."

"Don't call him that."

"What? Demon or Homo?"

"Star-"

A loud clang silences your group, and you all look at each other. Immediately, Star and Maka are coming up with their logical solutions. It's the wind, the building is settling, no one's probably opened that door in years. And yeah, those are all fine and dandy, but you're gonna keep the fact that the vents in the hospital had been closed before the patients were even removed to yourself.

A good scaring might be just what the two of them need.


"So," Maka starts, her voice echoing in the dark hallway they're walking down. You're trying to keep all the cool you can, but you're definitely in Maka's bubble. Behind you, Star is still obsessively filming all of the graffiti he can. "Why does a mental hospital have it's own operating room, like? That seems kind of…"

"Gruesome?" Star offers, jogging to catch up with them. "I mean if you got half your dudes who can't feed themselves and the other half are like Nana Evans who just needed a little serotonin in their lives, there really isn't any reason to have a slice and dice factory unless-" He slams his hand against a metal door, the bang causing you and Maka to jump. "They're torturing their patients."

"Jesus, Star."

"I'm serious! You're all in a stink about some Demon, but didn't think about what the humans were doing to other humans? There's your evil my guy."

"Maybe the creature was born from that evil?" Maka offers, ever the thinker. Star shakes his head, coming to join their pace, his arm wrapping around your waist.

"Fuck no. I'm not gonna let the Slice and Dicer of this place cop out on a demon. That dude is our evil guy, and he's the one that should be on trial, not the well endowed gay demon."

You push your hip against his, damn near knocking him over. He laughs and pulls his phone up for a selfie again. "Smile my grim little man." You give your best unimpressed face and he laughs, snapping a picture of the two of you.

Maka turns back to say something, and you both watch as she trips over something, landing on the dirty ground hard. You're both trying to help her up, trying to keep the laughter hushed, but she pushes the both of you away, annoyed glint in her eyes. "Fuck you both, leave me alone."

"What did we do? You're the klutz!"

"Since when!? Just apologize."

"For what?!"

"I know you tripped me Star!" She hisses at him, and Star gasps, hand over his chest.

"I did not!"

"Bullshit! I felt you trip me!"

"Look, if I wanted to trip you, I would've at least gotten it on camera! Besides I was selfieing it up with my man here. So sorry but you're just a klutz."

Maka glares at him, looking very much like she might punch him, but she stops and starts walking again. You and Star glance at each other, before running up behind her and each grabbing a hand. "So you can't fall again."


The operating room echoes more than anything you've ever heard, and you're a fucking pianist.

You walk around slowly, keeping your arms to your sides. The room makes you feel wrong. Like you've entered the very portal to Hell. Your partners don't share the same hesitation, Star is back to inventorying penis, and Maka makes her way down the metal stairs to the sketchy as fuck operating table that's still in the center of the room. Who the fuck closes down a hospital and leaves all the supplies behind?! How was there no other hospital in Nevada that needed an operating table?! It seems like total bullshit.

You keep to yourself on the top of the bleachers where other doctors must've watched the operations. Every now and then, Star snickers and his flash goes off. "Bruh this is like the Da Vinci Code of Cock. It's a goldmine, a literal dicky goldmine. We gotta add ours, it's perfect."

"Dude, shut up." You beg, but he just keeps moving around, collecting his data. You turn you attention back to Maka, who's been obsessively checking out this table. She looks underneath, then back at the top, and her brow furrows. Your fear is tapered off by your curiosity, and you make your way down to her. "What's up?"

"Okay like, it's not big deal okay? There's just this big ass stain here." She and her phone both gesture towards the table, where there's a giant black stain on the metal. She runs her fingers across it and her fingers come back clean. "Like whatever this was? It was a lot. But if you look under it, there isn't anything on the bottom. It's totally clean, which is also weird, right?! Like this should've stained the bottom too, but I guess I'm not like, a master in hospital cleaning or anything."

"Why is it black?"

"Don't you fucking start too!" Star orders from the top of the stairs, following them down there. "We did this to prove to him and all this shit is in their heads remember? There's no such thing as ghosts or whatever."

You sigh, deep and damn near unending. "IT'S NOT A GHOST."

"What the fuck ever." Star scoffs and pulls himself up on the operating table. "Hey, anyone wanna suck me off?"

"Star-"

"Oh come on you lame bastards! How often will we get the chance to fuck around in an abandoned hospital?"

"Why would you want to?" You frown, glaring at them. Maka, surprisingly looks like she's considering it. Star grins at her, grabbing his dick through his jeans. Before she can lick her lips, there's another loud clang. The unmistakable sound of a metal door slamming shut. You all glance at each other again, this time they look a little more uneasy.

"There's like...not much of a draft here." Maka whispers and you scoff.

"Or any."

"Oh fine you pansies, I'll go check it out." Star rolls his eyes, jumping off the table.

"Use your camera." Maka orders him, but she's standing a little closer to you than she was before.

"And be careful." You damn near plead with him before he's got his camera back on you both.

"Hello all, gonna go get sexy with a demon while my girl and my guy think about if they wanna join or not. They're suddenly shy."

"Are you snap chatting this?!"

"Uh duh? Like what is the actual point of this if no one knows we're doing it? Honestly. It's like you don't know how to survive in capitalist America."

"Quick, define capitalist." Maka snickers and Star flips her off before he's bounding up the stairs. They listen to his heavy feet echoing down the hallway, and your hand is back in Maka's. "He's fine."

"This place isn't." You look at her, face somewhere between I told you so and Can we please fucking leave now? She smiles at you, her hands on your face. You're not pleased, and she can tell. Her lips find yours, and unfortunately for you, Maka is amazing at pretty much everything she tries. You set your phone down on the operating table, and find her hips with your hands. Her mouth moves against yours slowly, almost to the point where you're forgetting that you're in a haunted fucking asylum and maybe Star has a point to getting sucked off when both yours and Maka's phone lights shut off, and you're left in silence.

You can feel you heart bruising your ribs as your grip on Maka tightens. You can feel her nails buried into your back. "Let's go find Star."

"Can you get your light back on?" You ask, groping around for your phone on the table. She's able to reboot her phone, and get her flashlight on just as you find yours, and realize that both your phone, and your hand, are covered in the same black goop that's on the table. Your scream manages to be louder than Maka's, but it's shit compared to Star's own holler. Maka grabs your hand and you run towards Star, away from the table. Your feet echo through the hall, and you're basically pulling Maka behind you.

"Star?!"

"Star where the fuck are you?!" You howl, heart pounding against your chest. Maka trains her camera on you, and you can see the tears welling up in her eyes. Behind you, another door opens and you're already swinging before this fucking monster can get to Maka. Fists connect with flesh and suddenly you're on your back in this filthy fucking hospital with a demon on top of you. You can hear Maka screaming but you're more interested in getting this fucking creature off of you right fucking now when the creature suddenly pins your arms above your head. Lips press against yours and you freeze, realizing with an intense surge of rage and relief that Star is the one on top of you.

You free one of your hands and punch him in the head, watching him fall off of you. "Fuck you Star, I'm literally going to murder you someday and I can't wait to watch you die."

As good as your threat was, it was ultimately wasted, since Star was already laughing so hard he can't catch his breath. Maka starts kicking him while he's down, but his laughter just gets stronger. "C-Christ you d-dicks, stop." He's wiping tears from his eyes as he pulls himself up.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Maka demands, and he snickers.

"Just some good old fashioned pranking, my dear. Like you and Soul weren't doing the exact same thing to me."

"We weren't! We-" Maka meets your eyes and the two of you start jogging back to the operating room, Star bitching not too far behind. When you get back in there, Maka already has her light on the operating table, where the stain still stretches across the surface of the table, but it's very clearly dry. You and Maka meet each other's eyes, neither of you really sure what to say. She looks down at your hand and swallows hard.

"Your hands are clean."

You bring your hand to your face, confusion dripping from your features. She's right, your hand is clean, and dry, and there's nothing on your phone either. "What the fuck?"

"Maybe we were seeing things?"

"...Really?" You try to give her a look, but there's something behind her eyes that you haven't seen yet, and you sigh. "Let's get out of here, yeah? Can we finally go?"

"Yeah yeah, guess so." Star says as he walks in, popping his neck. "I scared you, you scared me. We should be good to leave your It's All In My Head Hosptial of the Damned now." You don't bother responding to him, the middle finger in his direction seems to do the job. Maka grabs your hand and the two of you head up the stairs towards Star.

"Come on you beautiful bastards," He smiles at you, then pulls his phone out, flashlight in your faces. "And say goodbye to the beautiful bastards who've been following us on Snap all night."

"Fuck off." You and Maka cheerfully intone into the camera and Star frowns, turning the camera back on himself.

"I'm sorry they're so rude. Someday I'll find me a couple who love and respects me."

"We'll either love you or respect you." You tell him.

"Can't have both." Maka agrees.


You're almost out of this hell pit when Star stops you guys again.

Really, you've got your hand on the door when Star stops walking. "Hey, hot fucking damn you guys, I'm impressed as all Hell."

"What are you talking about?" Maka asks, her hand on your back. Star gestures towards the other side of the foyer, where he'd been taking Penis Selfies earlier. He jogs over and turns his light on the graffiti penis. In the center of the graffiti, a large black hand had been painted over the dick, with long nails and roughly twice the size of a human hand. Maka stares slack jawed at the addition, especially the way the paint drips, like it's still wet.

She's over there much too quickly, swiping some of the paint with her finger. She holds it to her nose, and then gags. Star tries to grab her hair, but she's puking before he can really help her. "Holy shit! Soul come help us."

You're jogging towards them, when you notice something move behind Star. Something is standing there, towering above your boyfriend who's already pretty fucking tall himself. It looks at you for a moment, then it's massive black hand is back on the wall and suddenly-

Your world goes black.


Okay! So I honestly don't know where this is going to go, all I know is I've watched way too much Buzzfeed Unsolved and I had a desperate need to try out second person POV and the desire to write a poly couple! So lets ride this together! Rated M for sex, swearing, demons, ghosts, mean nicknames and snapchat shenanigan. I've never played around with this tense before so bare with me! Thanks guys! Please rate and review :)