EDITED: The first version ended very abruptly as some of you might have noticed, and I finished rewriting it ages ago. It just took a teeny tiny bit of time for me to update :P
Basically a small short from Gift of a Night Fury, of which I felt obligated to write after watching some 10 times. My wheels began to turn at the tone Hiccup uses as he approaches Toothless after giving him his new tail. I couldn't help but think: he sounds like he needs assurance. The way he says the name was what made me write this little snippet. Won't try to explain too much, hopefully the text is self explanatory enough. This will only make sense if you've watched 'Gift of the Night Fury' so I suggest you watch it first.
I own nothing, as it should be. Okay? Now read on.
Hiccup had been up all night, driven by the need to finish his project. His focus had kept the tiredness at bay, and really, even if anyone had tried to force him back to bed he would've refused and just kept going.
His head churned with ideas, trying to find a solution to Toothless' missing tailfin. For Tuffnut had been right, the dragon couldn't go anywhere without him. 'Must be nice', Ruffnut had commented, but Hiccup think she didn't realize just what she'd said. As happy as he was to have Toothless for a friend, best friend in fact, it had been his fault that the dragon was grounded. The guilt that he felt before had dissipated, but wasn't really gone. It was always there, somewhere in his heart. A small little black hole that would never go away, not before Hiccup could forgive himself. Toothless had. At least he believed so. They had been through a lot together, protecting each other from all that threatened to harm them, protecting their loved ones and their home. But there was a tiny voice that said: you don't know if Toothless still resents you for tearing off his tailfin.
He'd watched Toothless as he teetered on the edge of the cliff, wanting so badly to follow the other dragons. And that was why he stood in the forge in the middle of the night to make a new tailfin. He hoped that Toothless would like it, that he would understand what it was for. As for the rest, he didn't want to think about it just now, the thought too scary to even contemplate. For now he kept on hammering, tweaking and tinkering with his latest project, hoping that it would work.
Astrid had been very impressed with his work, thinking it was a great gift. He was less impressed with the beverage she'd brought. Whatever was that anyway? He daren't swallow nor spit it out. Despite tasting horrible, he really didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Then she voiced what Hiccup hadn't dared think himself, "What if he never comes back?"
Astrid didn't mean anything bad by this, nor did she mean to insinuate that Toothless would never return. Admittedly Hiccup had thought the very same thing. The fear of Toothless leaving the moment this new tail was strapped on, of how he would just take off and never look back filled Hiccup with dread. He didn't want to think about it. All he wanted was for his friend to have the freedom he deserved, not think about the what ifs and maybes. But the truth was that the possibility was there. Any dragon would fly away. Why wouldn't Toothless?
Realizing what she'd said Astrid scoffed at herself, "What am I saying? Of course he is. Well, I'm gonna go spread some more holiday cheers." She then ran off with the drink, calling out to Hiccup 'you're amazing'.
Finally Hiccup could spit out the nasty beverage. It left a horrible taste at the back of his mouth, like the nasty aftertaste of bile. Glancing at his newest project he couldn't help but think: 'is it worth it? Will it be worth Toothless' freedom if he never comes back?' He didn't want to be selfish. The whole reason he made this tail was for his friend to come and go as he pleased, like any other dragon. So why did he feel such dread?
Chiding himself for thinking that Toothless would just up and leave he took a deep breath and grabbed the tail, knowing that at this hour the dragon would be on the rooftop trying to wake up his rider.
Hiccup heard the dragon before he saw him. And there he was, hoping and scratching on the roof of his house. Calling him down, he finally felt excited. Toothless would be able to fly on his own. He couldn't wait to see him leap off and swoop over him in the air, warbling and roaring happily at being able to take off on his own, to never be grounded again. The dragon hoped down, immediately noting Hiccup carrying something. He sniffed it curiously, gazing at Hiccup when he asked, "What do you think of that?" Toothless began circling his rider, too curious to settle down. It only took a moment for him to hold still for Hiccup to strap on the tail.
"You're going to love this."
Toothless didn't take to the tail though. He thrashed about trying to cast the annoying thing off. Hiccup tried to make him stop with little success. But then Toothless spread his other tailfin so the fake one spread. That made him stop. Closing and opening the fins repeatedly it seems he finally understood. He turned back to Hiccup, who grinned. The huge green eyes were wide, the pupils slits; he was clearly excited.
Inside Hiccup dared to cheer, dared to believe that he needn't have worried. It was okay, everything was okay!
"Toothless…" he started, reaching out to the dragon, hopeful. 'You're not going to leave, are you? You're going to stay here with me, right?'
For a moment everything had seemed fine. Then, Toothless pulled away. He'd taken a step back from Hiccup and took off without so much as a glance back. And left was Hiccup, disappointed and angry with himself for daring to hope, like a nasty aftertaste of bile.
Somewhere deep down Hiccup had known that this would happen. As he stood dejected and alone on the hillside, watching his best friend disappear from view, he couldn't help but hate the truth as it stared him in the face, mocking whatever feeble hopes he'd had of Toothless staying. Worse was the feeling of knowing it was he who'd made it possible.
He stood there and watched the black dragon disappear, and long after he was out of sight. Finally allowing it all to settle he made his way slowly to the front door, barely registering that he was cold due to his misery and self-pity. He also hardly noticed Astrid running up the hill to where he was, cheerfully greeting him and full of anticipation.
"Hey! Did it work?"
"Yeah." Too well.
"That's great! I bet he's happy to fly on his own."
"Yeah." So happy he took off.
Astrid caught on to his too short answers, his slumped shoulders, the look of utter defeat.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing's wrong. I fixed the tail, I put on the tail, and he took off almost momentarily and disappeared."
She looked at him like he was crazy. "Wait, what?"
"You heard me."
"Why would he do that?" she asked, confused.
Hiccup just shrugged. He really didn't want to talk about it.
"Toothless wouldn't just leave," Astrid insisted, disbelief still written on her face. "There must have been a reason."
"Sure, whatever." The voice wasn't his own, it was too hollow and thin, but it came from his mouth. It had to be him.
Astrid was lost, not sure what she could say to help. She was a doer, driven by action to solve whatever came her way, not comforting others. Awkwardly she tried none the same, "I'm sure he left to find the other dragons, that he felt the draw they did. He wouldn't just up and leave for no good reason, tail or no tail."
"It doesn't matter. He left." Me.
He left me. It was then it fully dawned on him. Toothless was gone. He got the freedom he sorely lacked, and it had been provided by him, Hiccup. It should make him happy, but all he felt was abandoned, by his best friend at that.
He drew out a parchment from his inner vest pocket, studying it without unfolding it. There in his hand was the very blueprint to the tail he'd made, his very own creation. The reason Toothless was gone.
No, he was the reason. There was no other explanation. Why else would Toothless leave? Now that he had a whole tail he was free to go wherever. That was the whole point, to not have to wait on Hiccup to go flying with him.
Now Hiccup wished he'd never made it. He crumpled the paper violently before throwing it away with a frustrated yell, glaring after the stupid thing as it rolled away. It surprised Astrid and she gave a small yelp at his action. The two stood there for a little while, none of them saying a word. After a while Astrid carefully cleared her throat, looking squarely at Hiccup. There was no doubt in her eyes when she said "He will be back. There's no way he wouldn't."
Hiccup lifted his gaze, green eyes empty and dull; Astrid's own softened at the sight.
"I wish I could be that sure," Hiccup said as he walked inside the house to grieve alone.
Like it? Love it? Hate it? Was it just, meh? Drop me a comment, let me know what you think :)
