Hey everyone, thanks for giving this a try. I never written a story like this so I'm sorry if its to much or something. I hope you enjoy this(:
I do not own Big Time Rush.
James Diamond looked into the mirror, like how he does every morning. It was a apart of his daily rutine when he got ready for work. He would spend a few minutes just staring at himself. Every time he looked he hated what he saw even more than the day before. Then again he hated everything. He hates his job, himself and of course his life. He really doesn't know how much more he can take. He opened up the cabinet door, he searched for the only thingn that took some of his pain away. He took a blade from his razor, about to add more scars to his arm when his roommate Kendall snapped him out of his thoughts.
"James! Hurry up! You're gonna make us both late for work!" He yelled.
"Alright!" James said putting the razor down. "Give me a second." He knew that cutting himself was a stupid thing to but he felt liked it helped him. It hepled him release all the pain from his horrible life. Every time he had a flashback of his childhood, the tears would just start pouring from his eyes, he would run straight to the bathroom and would start cutting until he couldn't see any part of his arm that wasn't covered in blood or scars. He knew if Kendall or Logan found out they would yell at and tell him to stop, but even if they did try to stop him he wwouldn't listen to them. Even though he knew them all his life he never told them about his sadness or his home life. When they would hang out back in school they never went to James' house. He would never let them know his pain.
He brushed his teeth and opened the door to an annoyed Kendall.
"You know there is another bathhroom here." James.
"Yeah but that's Logan's bathroom, I am not going on there." James rolled his eyes.
"Whatever, I'm going to work." He said pushing pass Kendall.
"Have a good day." His other roommate Logan said as he walked pass the kitchen.
James stopped for a minute, turned his head towards him, "Thanks, you too." He said through gritted teeth. He really wanted to have a good day, but he doesn't remember when the last time he had one, or even a real smile. All his smiles are fake. James is an amazing actor at hiding his feelings. Every day he puts on a mask, not showing that on the inside how he's one push away from the edge and losing it all. His life has been filled with nothing but pain. There has not been a day where he was actually happy. He felt like he did not diserve to be happy, he thought he was completely worthless. He walked out of his apartment and into the elevator. It opened a few seconds later when a pretty blonde girl stepped on.
"Hey James." she said.
"Hey." James said back.
"Um, I was wondering if you would want to go out with me tonight?" she asked with a smile.
"Sorry Lacey, but today is really not a good day." When isn't it a good day, he thought to himself. "Maybe some other time."
"Oh okay, thats fine." The elevator opened and they both stepped out to leave.
"Well, have a good day." she told James.
James' heart cracked even more, he really wanted to have a good day but he knew that would never happen, "Yeah you too."
James walked out of the building and got in his car. He looked into the mirror, and cursed at himself. He didn't want to go to work. If he has his way he would lay in bed im the dark where no more pain could get to him. He started his way to work.
"Well, time for another shitty day." He said to himself.
There it is, I hoped you liked it(: Please review, I would love that.
