originally posted on my tumblr

i'm just really sorry for this


There's nothing quite like the contentment that comes at night, lying in bed, holding the one you love, and simply relaxing after a long day. It's been a rough week, with an international conference and all the chaos that follows it, and Ludwig is just looking forward to a night alone with his lover.

"I'm fucking dying over here," Alfred whispers in the dark.

No, there's nothing quite like relaxing after a long day, but unfortunately that relaxation doesn't come so easily when your neighbors have decided to have extremely loud sex.

Ludwig closes his eyes, tries to block out the sound, but to no avail. He can still hear it no matter how hard he tries. He tightens his grip on his boyfriend.

"Who even is in the room next to us?" Alfred whispers again, lips moving against Ludwig's collarbone. "Is that- oh my fucking god is that Arthur? What the hell did I do to deserve this?"

Alfred buries his face in Ludwig's chest, moaning to himself to block out the noise, but the sound from next door only increases. Ludwig winces. "I don't really think that's helping," he murmurs. "Don't encourage them."

"Baby, I can't handle this," Alfred whispers. "Do something."

"What the hell do you want me to do?"

"I don't know, go tell them to stop or something!"

"I'm not going to-!" Ludwig has to take a deep breath (Alfred's hair smells like strawberries) before responding. "No."

"If you loved me-"

"I said no."

"-you would-"

There's a hearty moan from the room over that cuts Alfred off and leaves him looking absolutely mortified. He bolts upright and bangs his fists against the wall, hollering at the top of his lungs, "HEY SHUT THE FUCK UP SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP HERE!"

Ludwig lies still, afraid to move for fear of getting yelled at, but Alfred slinks back into bed, breathing hard and fuming. The couple in the other room has fallen silent. Ludwig hesitantly reaches out and pets Alfred's hair, trying awkwardly to comfort him. "Breathe," he says. "It's going to be okay..."

As soon as he says this, there's a loud knock from the other side of the wall. "HEY BRO," someone screams, "GUESS WHO'S HAVING SEX THAT'S RIGHT NOT YOU!"

"OH MY FUCKING GOD," Alfred shrieks, throwing his face down into the pillow and screaming bloody murder. Ludwig sits up in bed, brow furrowed.

"Is that your brother?" he exclaims. "That's Arthur and your brother-"

"My life is over," Alfred moans into the pillow. Ludwig sits quietly, hands in his lap, listening as Arthur and Matthew resume their horrendously loud sex. Alfred throws his hands over his ears and screams into the pillow again.

"Well, we could-" Ludwig starts, then stops. He leans over and tries to pry Alfred's hands away from his ears. "Honey- Alfred- we could-" He finally succeeds and leans in close to his boyfriend, whispering. "We could um… keep them company."

Alfred stares at him as if suddenly seeing the light and Ludwig immediately regrets this idea. "Actually, let's not do that," he says. "Why don't we just go to sleep and-"

"No, fuck that," Alfred exclaims, throwing Ludwig onto his back. "I am riding you into oblivion and we are going to keep them up all night, those pieces of shit."

Ludwig considers objecting, but he's getting free sex out of this (not to mention Alfred on top of him all hot and bothered and screaming) so it's really not that bad of a deal. But that doesn't mean he isn't going to regret it tomorrow morning.

Ludwig wakes up early, curses at his sore back (Alfred rides hard), and heads down to the hotel lobby for some morning coffee. Just as he's finishing stirring (he takes his coffee black, but Alfred insists on at least three things of creamer), he turns around and finds Arthur leaning against the wall, watching him intently and sipping tea from a Styrofoam cup. Ludwig freezes, very conscious of the two cups of coffee he's clutching. Arthur eyes him suspiciously.

"So that was you last night," he says nonchalantly, and Ludwig's heart nearly stops then and there. "I didn't know you and Alfred had a thing."

He can't even- oh god- fucking Christ why.