Before the Miracle

Chapter 1

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I'm already 18, and I have an army of doctors around me, I don't need more people babying me."

"I know but…"

"The team needs you more than me. It's our last year in high school and we've worked too hard to give up on the Winter Cup. I won't forgive you if you drop out now that we've come so far."

That's what Shin-chan had said before Takao departed with the rest of Shuutoku's team for their traditional summer training camp. They had made it to second place in the summer Inter-High and everyone had been excited about the Winter Cup, but Midorima and Takao's accident, and the green-haired ace's sudden retirement had caused a severe blow to the team's morale. Takao himself wasn't that sure he was in the right shape to be playing high-profile sports; the doctors had warned him that one of his broken ribs was not fully-healed yet. But Shin-chan had been almost pushing him to get on the bus while he stayed behind for rehabilitation, and he knew the team would not be able to recover if they lost their Captain as well as the Ace.

Getting back on court was terribly painful. It was as if every little thing reminded him of Shin-chan or the fact that they wouldn't be standing on the same court again. The rest of the team shot him with constant glances, a mixture of pity and hopelessness –not a single one of them believed they could win any game without their Ace, not even Takao-, and it took every ounce of mental strength in him to keep from crying in front of the other guys. He'd promised Shin-chan to bring the Winter Cup to Shuutoku and although he couldn't really picture how he was going to achieve it, he had every intention of doing so. Now more than ever, he had to be strong to keep the team from falling apart and he could not grant himself the luxury of showing his insecurities.

He was relieved when training camp was over. He wasn't sure he would've been able to hold it in much longer, that heart-wrenching feeling that overwhelmed him every time he called out a name out of habit, only to realize the man he was calling wasn't standing on the court with him.

He dropped his bag on the couch and was about to walk up straight to his room, not willing to talk or meet anyone now, when his mother called from the living room.

"Kazunari? Oh, welcome home! How was training? You must be tired, want me to…"

Takao didn't pay attention to the rest of what his mother was saying, for he noticed another person sitting in the living room: a woman with a stern face, a clever glint in her eyes, an expensive kimono and vibrant emerald hair, looking straight at him, her lips drawing a thin straight line.

"Quite a perfect timing, I must say. I was just telling your mother how I wanted to have a word with you, Kazunari-kun."


The doctors in the rehabilitation facility where Shin-chan was now hospitalized had been talking for ages, but Takao had long zoned out from whatever they were saying. He bit his lip. He wasn't ready for this, but he couldn't say no and run away after what Midorima's mother had told him.

"I am sure you know my Shintarou can be difficult to handle at times."

"Shin-chan, difficult? Never thought about it." The answer had come out in a standard sarcastic tone, and he had to cover his face in embarrassment after noticing who he was talking to. Fortunately, she had taken it with humor and chuckled.

"He's been a little bit eccentric since he was a kid. It's always been hard for him to open up to others or make friends. Kazunari-kun was the first friend he ever brought home."

Of course, he already knew that. Not many were willing to look past Shin-chan's awkward personality to realize just how special he was.

"I hope you realize you're an irreplaceable person in my son's life. Not even his father or I can get across to him the way you do."

Takao blushed, and his chest puffed up with pride upon hearing the recognition. He knew he was important to Shin-chan, that even before they started dating he had been closer to the miracle shooter than anyone else –even his former Teiko teammates-, but it made him all warm inside to know that Shin-chan's family acknowledged that as well.

"I want you to know I wouldn't trouble you with this if I had the choice. Shintarou will definitely disapprove of me speaking to you about this. Your mother has told me your injuries have not healed completely, and I realize your load of responsibilities is very heavy, but I know he will listen if it's you. Please, Kazunari-kun, talk my son back into reason."

The nurse was now leading him to Shin-chan's room. She kept saying things that were probably important, but Takao didn't really want to hear. He was worried about how Shin-chan would react. He wouldn't be happy to see him, that's for sure. He could already hear his voice, apparently arguing with one of the doctors, but he couldn't make out the words.

The nurse knocked the door. "Midorima-san? You have a visitor."

The arguing stopped and the nurse opened the door. For the untrained eye, Shin-chan looked almost like his usual self, but Takao knew better. The creases on his forehead were tighter, there was a faint redness in the corner of his eyes, his knuckles were holding tightly to the bedsheets and his shooting hand fingers were untaped, the fingernails unevenly trimmed. Shin-chan was a mess.

His green pupils turned to slits of surprise and anger upon laying their gaze on Takao.

"W-what are you doing here?!"

Takao winced at the furious tone in his boyfriend's voice. Midorima had told Takao that he shouldn't call or text him while he was in the training camp, arguing it could ruin his concentration, and Takao had respected that wish. This was the first time he heard Shin-chan's voice in a week, and the rejection he heard in it took him aback.

"I called him. Don't resent Kazunari-kun, he wants to see you get better as much as I do." Mrs. Midorima chimed in, a concerned look on her face giving away how affected she was by her son's condition.

Shin-chan bit his lip and Takao didn't even know if he should say anything. Would he really be able to do anything in this situation, like Shin-chan's mother hoped he would?

"Let's give the boys a minute to catch up, shall we?"

The doctors exchanged doubtful looks, but Shin-chan's mother was the kind of woman who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, and everyone swiftly left the room, which made Takao wonder about how much she actually knew about their relationship. Mrs. Midorima patted his shoulder before exiting, leaving the two young boys alone.

There was a long drawn, awkward silence. Takao fidgeted on his spot and looked up to meet his boyfriend's green eyes. He took a deep breath. Someone had to break the ice someday, may as well get done with it sooner, rather than later.

"I missed you".

Shin-chan turned his gaze away to hide the faint blush on his cheeks and he 'hmmm'd in agreement. A small smile took over Takao's lips, realizing this was still the same shy, adorable and eccentric Shin-chan he loved, and a wave of relief washed over him.

"I'm sorry about my mother. I told her not to bother you, I'm doing fine. You shouldn't have come."

Takao finally found the courage to step forward and sit on the edge of the bed, facing his boyfriend and not even trying to hide how worried he was. The fact that Shin-chan was lying so shamelessly only made his concern grow. He grabbed his lover's hands in his and drew invisible lines on their back with his thumbs.

"Shin-chan, whatever you do, please don't lie to me. That you won't trust me hurts a lot more than anything you could be hiding. I told you before that I would stay by your side every step of the way and that's exactly what I intend to do." He pulled the bony hands closer to his face and kissed their fingertips gently. He felt Shin-chan trembling and he looked up to meet emerald eyes glazed with tears.

"I just… I didn't want you to see me like… like this!" he snatched his hands away from Takao's grasp to cover his face.

Takao shut his eyes tight for a minute to hold the tears in and laid his hands on top of Midorima's legs, leaning closer to the stubborn green-headed boy. He took a deep breath. He had to be strong now, more than ever. Shin-chan was falling apart, Takao could afford nothing short of becoming a rock.

"And I don't want to see you like this either. Nor does your mother, or anyone who loves you. When I left for the training camp you promised you would take care of yourself, but that's not what you're doing. Please Shin-chan… please stop refusing rehab therapy."

Midorima snapped angrily. "Yeah, that's easy to say when you're not the one going through it. It's pointless! My legs can't feel a thing, forget about moving, and I can't handle the wheelchair or the crutches. It's not working at all! They're just giving me false hopes; everyone knows I'll never get better! I'll be tied to this stupid bed for the rest of my life!"

Takao bit his lip with a mixture of anguish and frustration. Shin-chan was right, the doctors had said he would never walk again. But Takao couldn't stand watching the boy he loved defeated, giving up like that. He bit back his tears again, because this wasn't about him, it was about Shin-chan's pain and helping him out of the slump, it was about being strong for Shin-chan when he needed it the most.

He grabbed his boyfriend's face with his two hands, forcing him to meet his eye and took a deep breath. "You're gonna' snap out of this right now, Midorima Shintarou." Midorima seemed startled from hearing his full name coming from his boyfriend's lips in such a dead serious tone. "We promised we'd find a way out of this together, you're not allowed to just give up before even trying. Don't let yourself be defeated by this. I believe in you; so if you trust me, then trust that I'm right in doing so. I'm not gonna' leave your side again, I'll be right here all the way through. If it hurts you can squeeze my hand and I'll share your pain. I'll scream with you when you're angry and cry with you when you get frustrated. It won't be easy, but I'll be there all the time. You're not getting rid of me any time soon. Get it already?"

Midorima couldn't hold Takao's gaze and he bit his lip, trying to look in some other direction. "But it's useless. I'll never walk again."

"I know that. And I would never lie about it. But that's not the endgame. You could still play basketball if you learn how to move the chair on your own. Even if you can't walk, you may be able to get your legs to move and feel again. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's what we've got." Midorima kept avoiding his gaze, so Takao inched closer to him until their foreheads were touching "If you won't do it for yourself, then do it for me. I'm begging you, Shin-chan. I would never be able to forgive myself if you give up now, when it was my fault that this happened."

The green-haired shooter flinched and looked up at him with pain in his eyes. Takao knew he was being unfair and using underhanded tactics, but he was running out of ideas. It was true he still felt guilty for what happened, but he'd promised himself not to bring it up in front of Shin-chan, because he knew it would upset him, but if that would help change Shin-chan's mind about rehab, he was willing to go that far.

Midorima's fingers clenched around the bedsheets. He looked down to see his knuckles going white and then realized that one of Takao's hands was resting on top his left thigh. He couldn't feel it. He felt tears welling up in his eyes. He hadn't stopped to think about it, but losing sensibility of his legs meant losing so many things. He remembered the weight of Takao's head when it rested on his lap. The softness of his hands when he caressed his legs. The warmth of his body when they cuddled. The relaxing feeling when he massaged his feet and legs after an exhausting game. The way their legs would entwine with each other's when they lay in bed together. Would he have to give all that up too? He couldn't bear to even think about it.

He looked up and met Takao's eyes, still looking at him with straightforward sincerity. One of the tears he'd been holding back rebelliously slipped down his cheek as he nodded, not knowing which words could explain how much he wished he could feel the pressure of Takao's hand on his leg.


The doctors looked confused when Shin-chan announced he would resume his rehabilitation therapy, but his mother had only smiled pleasantly and winked at Takao. For a moment, Takao was genuinely concerned that she was aware of the nature of his relationship with her son, but he realized that if she indeed knew, then the trust she put in him was a hell of a lot more important than he'd initially guessed, and it made him beam with pride.

To be continued

I had been dubious about doing this part. When I originally published Show you a Miracle, someone suggested writing a more in-depth story about Midorima's rehabilitation. I wasn't sure about it because I'm not quite familiar with actual rehabilitation and didn't want to do a disservice to people who have gone through it. But while writing Beyond the Miracle I realized that this particularly critical period would be the roots of many of the issues they would have in the future, but also the foundation stones of how strong their relationship became, and I wanted to write a bit about it. I don't know if I'll be able to do the theme justice, but I hope I'm at least capable of showing this important phase in their relationship and the strength of the bonds that tie them.

I hope everyone likes it, please R&R