Four years is a long time. Lilly realizes this before Miley does, but at least they both come to the same conclusion.
College is everything Lilly imagined and more, and while she's been loving every minute of trying to figure out what she wants to do for the rest of her life, she knows that Miley must be having a different experience. Because Miley figured out what she wanted to do with her life when she was eleven years old, but Lilly could never fault her for that. It's not that Miley's miserable though, she's taking interesting classes and she's gone to awesome parties where no one cared who she is and no one tried to sell pictures of her standing next to a keg to TMZ, and she couldn't be more grateful for that. Miley's still writing songs in her down time but its not he same as being in the studio, and some days she misses being able to perform and see the smiles on all of her fans faces in the crowd.
...
Lilly and Oliver break up a few months into her freshman year, a mutual decision, after deciding that they are better off as friends. With their lives going in different directions, it seemed unfair to be holding each other back, even with the best intentions. The same thing happens with Miley and Jesse, but both girls enjoy finding a new sense of independence. They stop looking for boys to date, instead focusing on themselves for once, and they couldn't be happier.
One night the girls stumble home from the bar and a very drunk Miley slurs, "Hey Lil, remember that time when I was trying to tell you that rooming with me was no big deal because I'm no big deal, but you said that I was a big deal, to you at least?"
Lilly has to laugh at how ridiculous the sentence sounds, but she realizes Miley is trying to be serious so she simply replies, "Yes, of course."
"Did you really mean that? Like, do you really think I'm that great?" the brunette questions, trying carefully to open the door to their dorm with her keys, but fails miserably.
"Yeah Miles, I do. I've always thought you were that great," the blonde replies, taking the keys from her friend and successfully opening the door.
"That's why you're my best friend. I love you Lilly Truscott," Miley exclaims, before placing a sloppy kiss on the other girl's cheek.
"I love you too Miley Stewart, also known as the artist formally known as Hannah Montana," Lilly replies with a laugh. It's nights like these that Lily thinks she would be fine never having a boyfriend ever again as long as she has Miley by her side.
...
Miley makes it through two whole years and Lilly couldn't be prouder. But when it's time to sign up for fall semester classes of their junior year, Lilly can tell her best friend is hesitant, but she knows that the brunette won't bring it up because she wouldn't want to upset the blonde. Lilly see's right through this, of course, and she's the one who suggests that Miley take some time off and do another album, another tour, another movie, whatever she needs to do. The look of relief on Miley's face says it all, and all that the singer can do is get up and hug her friend.
But the decision doesn't come without some downsides, because for the first time since they met, the girls will actually be apart. Really apart. Miley isn't sure how she's going to deal with it, considering last time they tried this it only took one night in Paris for her to come running back. Lilly is her most trusted friend, the closest person to her, and there have always been those not-so-friendly feelings in the darkest corner of her mind that she has expertly buried year after year. Because for Miley, having Lilly on her side was enough. The risk of losing her and the friendship they had built up for so many years over those stupid thoughts was simply not worth it. She already had Lilly. Maybe not in the way that she truly wanted, but she had her, and that was enough. It had always been enough for Miley.
Lilly worries about it too because Miley's pretty much been everything to her for the past eight years, she's been the center of her universe. Sure, she has Oliver too, but even when they dated, Miley always came first. And now that Lilly isn't a naïve twelve year old anymore she thinks about their friendship a lot and wonders if how she feels about the pop star is how other girls feel about their best friends. They've always had a crazy connection, and Lilly never questioned that it could run deeper than friendship because she just assumed that all best friends were this close. It was in their freshman year that she decided that no, most girls probably don't have exactly what her and Miley have, and that no, most girls probably don't feel how Lilly feels about Miley when it comes to their best friends. And that scares her.
"It always has," she thinks to herself.
...
They decide not to say goodbye because they know it will just be tear-filled and depressing. So one day, Lilly comes home from her summer class and Miley's gone. When she goes to throw her backpack on her bed she sees a single lilly flower laying there with a note that says, "I'll miss you like crazy." The note isn't signed, but it's not like it needed to be.
...
Miley spends the summer in the studio and her first tour as Miley Stewart, not Hannah Montana, kicks off in the fall. She calls Lilly probably every other day and they text regularly, and even though its an adjustment, it's not that hard for now either. Miley gets the week of Christmas off, so she knows that her and Lilly will reunite in Malibu over the holidays. She only has three more weeks of the tour after that, so its only temporary, that's what she tells herself. She loves waking up every morning and ticking off another day on the wall calendar which hangs in her tour bus, her countdown to the exact day she will see Lilly visible in neon sharpie.
The first week of Miley's tour happens to land on Lilly's midterm week, and Lilly spends all day and night in the library. She knows that she needs to focus, so she leaves her phone at home everyday. She hates not being able to talk to Miley, but she can't compromise her grades over that. Miley has back to back shows, and after her shows she usually goes out with her dancers and crew, so Miley doesn't spend a lot of time near her phone either. They end up not speaking for the entire week, and even though Lilly's midterms are done, she's waiting for Miley to call her first, because she doesn't want to seem needy or annoying or bother the other girl. Miley's playing the same game, waiting to hear from Lilly because she doesn't want to be the one that calls her while she's clearly too busy to talk. Miley starts to wonder if Lilly even misses her that much anymore, and Lilly is wondering the same thing about Miley.
...
It's halfway through week three of not speaking to each other and Miley is trashed. She went out after her show and as soon as they got to the bar she starts out with a round of shots. Miley's been doing this a lot lately, almost every night, and she decides that she's young, she can party if she wants to. It's fun. And it also makes her forget about the fact that she hasn't spoken to Lilly in 17 days – 18 once the clock hits midnight – and forgetting Lilly has become her first priority. When they all pile back onto the tour bus after the bars close, Miley checks her phone to see if Lilly called, but of course she hasn't. That's when Miley snaps. She throws her phone across the bus and it shatters immediately on the wall opposite from her. One of her dancers comes over to ask if she's okay, and Miley may be drunk but she knows when someone is coming onto her, and this girl definitely is. But she's got long blonde hair so Miley kisses her and drags her back towards her bunk before anyone even realizes what's happening.
...
It's three in the morning and Lilly can't sleep, because all she can think about is how she hasn't spoken to her best friend in far too long. She decides she doesn't care if she looks needy or annoying or pathetic, and she grabs her phone off the nightstand and dials Miley's number. It goes straight to voicemail, which is weird, but Lilly decides she'll leave her one.
"Hey Miles, it's me. I just wanted to see how you were, it's been awhile. I know you're probably so busy though. I hope your show went well tonight...at least I think you had one tonight. Just call me back when you get this...I miss you."
...
When Miley gets her phone fixed five days later and hears Lilly's message she feels guilty. She's not sure why, its not like Lilly is her girlfriend or anything, but she does. She wonders if she should tell her friend about hooking up with her dancer but then she realizes that she honestly has no clue how Lilly would even react to that. So when Miley texts Lilly back she doesn't mention it, and she decides that this new side of Miley is one that her best friend doesn't need to know about.
Even though they're talking again, it seems so much harder than it used to be. Lilly misses Miley so much that some days she finds herself googling her friend to see if there are any new stories about her on the internet. She feels like her best friend is growing distant, and she tries to tell herself she's just being paranoid and that Miley is just busy with the tour, but even then it's still killing her.
Miley goes out every night now, and every time there's more alcohol and more girls. She doesn't want to think about what all of the girls mean, even though deep down she has an idea. The only thing she knows right now is that the press can't catch on. Not now. And not like this. Some days Miley wonders why she's doing this to herself, why she keeps chasing after something she knows she wont find, something that is miles away in California, but then someone will bring her a round of shots and she decides she'll keep chasing for one more night.
...
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, which is also the day that Lilly will see Miley for the first time in 6 months. She's out to dinner with Oliver and his band, but it's hard to stay focused when all she can think about is waking up tomorrow and being able to actually hang out with her best friend. Oliver's friends are giving him a hard time and cracking jokes about the time that Oliver hit on a lesbian at a club and couldn't figure out why he got turned down. Lilly's not really paying attention to the conversation until Oliver is practically yelling, "Okay so I hit on one lesbian, big deal!" The guy sitting to his left snickers before adding, "Well, two if you count Miley Stewart." While the rest of the guys at the table laugh along, Oliver shoots them a deadly glare and Lilly's head snaps up.
"What?" she questions, looking at Oliver's friend intently. Oliver is shooting daggers out of his eyes at the guy and everything gets awkwardly quiet.
"Um, we're gonna hit the bar and grab some drinks," the idiot drummer mumbles before getting up with the rest of the crew, leaving Lilly and Oliver alone at the table.
"What the hell was he talking about?" Lilly asks, and Oliver just sighs.
"Nothing, just gossip," he replies.
"Well I haven't seen anything about Miley being a lesbian in the press," Lilly comments with a chuckle, "as if Miles would end up gay."
"It's not that kind of gossip. It's just going around in the 'young hollywood' circle, the media is pretty oblivious right now," Oliver says quietly.
"Well what's going around?" the blonde questions. Oliver tries his best to avoid the question but Lilly isn't letting it go, so he sighs again and speaks, "Miley parties pretty hard now. A lot. And I guess she's apparently been sleeping with a lot of different girls."
This hits Lilly like a ton of bricks and she immediately spits out, "There's no way that's true."
"Well she isn't exactly keeping things behind closed doors, so I can tell you it's not made up," Oliver snaps back.
"What the hell does that mean?" the blonde responds.
"Look I ran into her at a club in New York a few weeks ago. She was totally wasted and didn't even recognize me. When I told her it was Oliver she told me to go screw myself. Then when I was leaving I saw her making out with some random girl I've never seen before. Look Lil, I don't know who that girl was, because she's not the Miley I remember," the boy explains.
When Lilly gets home that night she doesn't know what to do, she's not sure if she's mad that Miley hasn't said a word about dating anyone, or liking girls for that matter, or if she's just upset that Miley didn't pick her. So, she cries.
...
The second Miley gets home and says hi to Jackson and her dad she texts Lilly and tells her to come over. She's so nervous about seeing her friend and she has no idea what it will be like since they've been apart for so long. She also doesn't know what to say to Lilly about what she's been doing for the past six months, because honestly Miley isn't really sure herself. Lilly comes blasting through the front door and lets out a high-pitched "eeeep!" before jumping on Miley and pulling her into a tight hug.
"Hi Lil, I missed you" Miley says with a smile but when she goes to pull away she finds that Lilly isn't letting go.
"Wait. Just hold me for a minute," the blonde mumbles into the brunettes shoulder.
Miley isn't quite sure how to take that comment, but she does what she's told. She thinks that she would be perfectly happy if she had to spend the rest of her life right here in this moment.
...
Lilly is on cloud nine because Miley isn't acting like the disaster that Oliver described to her, she's acting like the Miley that Lilly has loved for so many years and she's so happy that they are actually hanging out. But it's the day after Christmas now and Miley still hasn't said a word to Lilly about the partying or the girls and Lilly wants to know. She needs to know. So she decides to try and get Miley to bring it up.
"So, meet any cute guys on tour?" Lilly tries to ask casually as they sit on Miley's bed, flipping through magazines.
"Nope, none," Miley responds with a chuckle before she quickly changes the subject, "We should go out tonight. I know where a bunch of people will be."
"Okay," Lilly replies hesitantly. She hates that she can never really say no to Miley.
...
Even though Lilly is pretty close to drunk and Miley has been out-drinking her the entire night, the evening is actually turning out to be fun. She's met a ton of people that Miley's been on tour with for the past few months and there hasn't been any drama. Lilly heads to the bar with some guy named John to get the next round of drinks, and while they wait he turns to her, "You know, Miley really missed you while we were gone."
"Really?" Lilly asks and he nods his head.
"Yeah. You mean a lot to her, I mean I can't think of anyone else who would pass up an offer to do an amazing movie twice, just for their best friend," John says casually.
"Wait, what?" Lilly practically yells in his face, "What do you mean twice?"
"Um, first that Spielberg one a couple of years ago and now the Michael Bay movie she's turning down so she can finish college with you? Why else do you think she was taking online classes while on tour? Not sure how she's passing them though..." he trails off when the waitress brings a tray of drinks over.
"She never told me she got offered a Michael Bay movie, or that she was still taking classes," the blonde replies as she grabs the second tray full of drinks.
"She didn't? Shit. Look, don't tell her I said anything then," he mumbles as they both head back over to the table they were sitting at.
Lilly sets down the drinks she was carrying and when she looks back up she realizes that Miley is standing in the corner, making out with a girl. No one seems to be phased at all, and Lilly is amazed at how in just two seconds she can go from feeling like the most important person in Miley's world to feeling like nothing.
So she walks out of the place and doesn't look back. Lilly thinks that this is probably the first time she's been the one to walk away from Miley instead of it being the other way around.
...
Lilly is sitting alone in her dad's apartment the next morning nursing her hangover with Netflix and lots of Gatorade when there's a knock at the door. She assumes her dad just forgot his key or something, so when she opens the door and is face to face with Miley she's actually surprised.
"Can I come in?" Miley says quietly, avoiding eye contact with the blonde. Lilly just turns around and sits back down on the couch, leaving the door open. Miley takes the hint and comes in, closing the door behind her. She sits down next to Lilly who is staring intently at the television.
"I think we need to talk, Lil," Miley mumbles.
Lilly waits for a few minutes before turning off the TV and turning to face her friend, "We do. But I need you to promise me that no matter what we end up saying, we are going to be one hundred percent honest with each other. Because I think there's a lot you haven't been telling me. And there's some stuff I haven't been telling you."
"Okay, I promise," the brunette replies.
"So you got a movie offer and you've been taking classes online?" Lilly starts.
"Yeah. I enrolled in the classes over the summer before I left. If I take classes next year too then I would graduate on time as a communications major. And yeah, they offered me a role but I passed on it," Miley says.
"So what, you're coming back to school when you're done touring?" Lilly asks.
"Maybe. I mean that was kind of the plan," the other girl responds.
"Miles, why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to freak you out. Everyone has been telling me I'm so stupid for turning down another movie, and no one understands why I keep doing this just so I can go to school with you, and I just didn't want you to think I was some psycho clingy idiot," Miley finishes.
Lilly can't help but smile, because now that Miley is saying it out loud, the fact she has turned down two amazing, potentially career boosting films for Lilly does say something. If actions speak louder than words, maybe Lilly can forgive her for not saying anything sooner. But then the image of Miley sticking her tongue own some girls throat last night pops into her head, and her smile drops to a frown.
"John told me you left last night after you saw me, uh, with Ashley," Miley continues after noticing the expression on her friend's face change.
"Oh, so you do know her name, impressive," Lilly mumbles.
Miley ignores the comment, not knowing what else to say.
"I heard that's a regular thing for you now. You just hook up with different girls every night. Is that true?" this time Lilly's voice isn't laced with hate, she just sounds defeated.
"Kind of. Yes."
"Does that make you happy?" Lilly asks quietly.
"Not really. It makes me forget," the pop star answers seriously, "so wait, you aren't like, weirded out that I like girls? You're not even gonna address that?"
"No, I'm not weirded out. Forget about what?" Lilly responds.
"Huh?" Miley says, now she's confused.
"You said it makes you forget. Forget about what?" the blonde asks, and there's something about the way she's looking at Miley that makes the brunette have a surge of confidence. Before she can talk herself out of it, Miley lets it all go and she leans in. She sees Lilly lick her lips and that's all the extra encouragement she needs.
It takes Lilly a few seconds to realize that Miley is kissing her, like actually kissing her. She's thought about this moment so many times, and it's not how she imagined it at all, but it seems to fit more perfectly than the scenarios she made up in her head. She grabs the back of Miley's neck and deepens their kiss until Miley is the one that slowly pulls away.
"Wait, so what haven't you been telling me?" the brunette asks, looking a little scared.
Lilly smiles, "Just that I love you. I really, really love you."
...
Its graduation day, and while Miley could care less about the fact that she's earned a degree in anything, seeing how happy Lilly is walking across the stage and getting her diploma is well worth all of the projects she turned down to be here doing this with her.
Its hours after the ceremony, when Lilly and Miley are laying in bed together, that Miley asks, "So, what's next? You start that new job in a couple of weeks right?"
Lilly giggles, "Actually no, I don't. I turned it down."
"Super-hot-girlfriend-of-a-year say what?"
The blonde rolls her eyes at this, "I turned it down. Because I think you should pick one of those scripts that have been sitting on your desk and actually do a damn movie for once. And this time I promise I'll actually come with you."
"Seriously?" the brunette asks.
"Seriously," Lilly replies, "your dreams matter too, Miles."
Miley can't begin to explain how happy or thankful she is, so she settles for a simple "I love you so much."
Lilly smiles.
"I know."
