Story: Attack of the Killer Yo-Yos

Author: Steph (stephanie406@att.net)

Disclaimer: Don't own Alias, or any characters thus portrayed. It all belongs to JJ Abrams, Bad Robot Productions, ABC, etc.

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers/Summary: Only spoiler I can think of involved is Vaughn & Alice's breakup. It's a Weiss piece of fluff.

Dedicated: to Kara, who in her insane infatuation with Agent Eric Weiss, sent me the challenge that resulted in this story.

Distribution: I'd love it if you would, just let me know where it's going! CD and Cover Me all day any day!

"Meet me inside 'Blue Lagoon' at the bar in an hour." She'd spoken in a soft, hushed voice in a quick rush of words. And then the line went dead before you could ask why.

So here he was, an hour later, ducking through the entrance of the reputed divey bar. The smoke lay thick in the air, making it hard to see more than 3 feet in front of you. You wonder why you're even here at all. Why she called you—her ex's best friend.

You're shuffling along, the well-worn heels of your ancient cowboy boots thumping against the wooden floor. She sitting at the very end of the bar hidden in the shadows of a corner, and you almost miss seeing her completely.

"Over here," she hisses. Your eyes flick her way and you notice her face is almost completely obscured by the oversized white cowboy hat perched on her head. Wisps of blond hair that have escaped her ponytail float around her face. You've both made efforts to blend in.

"Hey Alice," you greet her, settling down into the swivel wooden chair next to hers.

"Weiss," she acknowledges, the cowboy had bobbing as she nodded at him. She hasn't looked at you yet, that you've noticed. Because you're trained to notice those kinds of things.

"What's this about?" you question softly.

"I know about her," she says, her violet eyes flicking towards you, taking you in. You've always thought she had killer eyes.

"Who?"

"Sydney."

You still, stunned at hearing her name spoken allowed in public. No one is supposed to know about Sydney, or her connection with Vaughn or himself. But Alice is a smart girl. You know she's not bluffing. She never has. "How?" you question.

And so she tells you a story about the end. The end of her and Michael. How it was really a fight. How he'd moaned another woman's name while buried within her. How it had quieted her, and yet he'd never known anything was wrong until he came home the following day, late as he had been every day for 2 months, to find her packed and loading boxes into her car. And he'd leaned against her car, an old hand-me-down she'd inherited from her grandmother when she'd passed away, and asked her what she was doing. And she'd lit into him for having the gall to sound tired and weary and surprised all at the same time.

And she tells you how she's spent these many months following him. How'd she'd never given him his house keys back, and had periodically dropped by during the day to snoop around. She'd gone through his computer, flipped through every file, listened to every voicemail message. And then she'd hit pay dirt when she found a journal she had never known he kept. She had learned who Sydney was. That he worked with her. That he admired and respected her. That he was scared that he was starting to feel inappropriate things for her. She read about how sick he felt when he figured out why Alice had really left in the first place. How he'd literally been sick to his stomach, barely making it to the bathroom in time. And then she'd read about the moment he realized he'd never really been in love with her. That his whole life had been spent waiting for a woman with shocking red hair to walk into his life. And that now that she had, he'd spend his life waiting for her to walk away from him, because he could never be to her what he wanted to be.

Your stomach has dropped in the meantime. Her violet eyes are filled with rage, and she no longer avoids looking at you. She has no fear of being discovered. Her world had already ended the moment a woman named Sydney had walked into the life of the man she had adored.

And then to your utter surprise, she climbs in your lap, straddling your legs to face you, winding her arms around your neck. "Weiss," she breathes.

"Yes?" you managed to choke out in reply.

"I want him to hurt the way I've hurt," she confesses, and leans in so that her face is less than 2 inches away. "And Eric?"

You mumble something incoherent.

"You're going to help me," she tells you, moving in to close the gap between your mouths. You jerk back to avoid what you're sure is a lethal kiss—

—And wake up to find yourself sprawled on your back in your office. You can still hear the squeaky chair wheels spinning around and around. You groan unhappily, but then you remember your dream. Alice. A dark smoky bar. Knowing about Sydney and seeking revenge through using you. Trying to back away as she went to kiss you. You realize you must have jerked in your sleep too, sending you flying backwards. You sigh in relief to find that it was only a dream after all.

You roll out of your chair and hoist yourself up, yanking the chair up with you. You set it back down on its wheels and make a move to sit back down in it when you realize there's someone sitting in one of the chairs in front of your desk. "Ack!" you scream, and quickly put your chair between you and your desk. The dream is still fresh in your mind after all.

The person smiles. "Is that how you greet an old friend, Eric?" she teases. Suddenly she's standing and making her way around your desk. You hastily make your way around the other side, trying to maintain distance.

"Eric," she frowns, putting her hands on her hips and pouting at him. "You're running from me."

"Uhhh… of course not Alice! There's just, uh, something I gotta go and do real fast!" you blurt out and make your escape out your office door. Were you still stuck in that dream? Right on cue, you round a corner and your left foot stabs into a wall. The pain reassures you this is no dream, but you still mutter explicatives under your breath. You can hear her calling after you, so you quickly duck unthinkingly into the first open office, shutting the door quickly behind you.

"Agent Weiss," you hear someone's surprised voice say. You spin around, your eyes wide with fear. Devlin. And Jack Bristow. And a few other agents he knows by face but not name. Seated at a low coffee table in Devlin's office with papers spread around them. They look amused to see you.

"What's the matter, Agent? Attack of the Killer Yo-Yo's Part 3?" Devlin cracks, laughing at his own joke. The other agents that know of your yo-yo carrying habit start laughing too. Suddenly, you hear Alice's voice on the other side of the door calling your name, and you frantically start looking for another way out. You spot the other door and race towards it, ignoring the laughter of those around you at your erratic behavior.

You'd love to take the time to explain that Agent Vaughn's ex girlfriend the computer techie Alice Johanson is stalking you, but first you gotta get to Mike and warn him. You'll worry about them later.

Suddenly you wish you were still in that dream from earlier, where all you had to worry about was ducking a kiss and saving your country from Alice's plan to take down Sydney Bristow (like Alice would even know where to start tackling that). Because at least that was a dream.

Real life nightmares suck, you think as you continue to run down the hall. That's all there was to it.

AN: hehe… cute huh? Gotta love some Weiss (or a change of pace at least!). Leave me feedback! (yeah, because we all know I'm a feedback whore. lmao)