Once upon a time there was a beautiful young woman named Ella. She was made to do all the chores by her evil stepmother and evil stepsisters. All she really wanted out of life was to get away from them.

I'll bet you've heard this story before though, so I'll start fresh.

Once upon a time there was a not-so-beautiful young man named Henry .He was paid to do all the chores by his not-so-evil stepfather and not -so-evil stepbrothers. All he wanted out of life was to get married and become a father one-day.

One day, the Most Attractive and Desirable Eligible Crown Prince of the Realm (henceforth referred to as "the Prince") sent out half of his heralds to invite all the eligible young women to a Ball two weeks from then. As an afterthought, the Prince, sent out the other half of his heralds to invite the men also, so that the women he wasn't with wouldn't get bored. Ella pretended not to want to, but finally begged to go on the day of the ball. She was forbidden because she had no gown. You know this part: fairy godmother, glass slippers, pumpkin coach. Henry however, decided right away that he wanted to go, and found a job in the fish marked to make a couple extra pennies before the Ball came. By the time it did, he had made enough extra money to rent an outfit, and take a taxi to the castle.

Everyone knows how Cind-er-Ella arrived late and enchanted the Prince. Well, Henry arrived just on time, and enchanted no one. He danced with a few of the shy women decorating the walls, and generally had an excellent time. Then he spotted her.

The Prince's sister. Elsie was neither slim as a willow nor lovely as the moon. In fact, she was a plump girl, but not unpleasantly so, and had a rather ruddy face that made her look as though she'd just come in from a cold winter's day. Henry was amazed; she was just exactly his type of girl. The two ended up spending the entire evening together, dancing and talking about everything from cats to recipes for vegetarian stromboli.

D o o o n n n g g g . . . d o o o n n n g g g . . . d o o o n n n g g g . . ..The clock struck midnight.

Ella fled from the ballroom, loosing a shoe on the stairs as she sprinted down the steps. As you already know.

Henry and Elsie glanced up at the commotion formed as the crowds split and re-formed around Ella, shrugged, and returned to their current conversation about their mutual dislike of evil prophesies.

The next day, Elsie danced on air as her brother moped about, whining about how he "didn't even know her name". Finally, two days later, he struck upon his now famous idea: he would try the shoe on every woman who had been at the ball. By this time, Elsie and Henry were planning their second date.

By the time the Prince found Ella, three weeks had passed, and Henry and Elsie had fallen in love.

Ella and the Prince were married with much fanfare. Ella's dress was purest white of the finest satin and silk, and her train was two meters long. Elsie and Henry were married in a simple ceremony. Elsie's dress was simple clean-white cotton-eyelet with an antique ivory lace overlay (hey, a girl can splurge a bit on her wedding dress).

******

Twenty years later, Ella was living a lonely life in the huge marble palace. The Prince---er King now---was forever traveling, and she had a very poor relationship with her twin son and daughter. They had, after all, been raised not by Ella, but by two very patient nurses.

Henry was never lonely. He and Elsie and their four children lived in a house just big enough for their family. Sure it was noisy at times, even more so now that their oldest daughter had given birth to twin baby girls eight months before, but it was a comfortable sort of noise.

And so Ella and Henry both got what they really wanted out of life: Ella was Queen, and Henry had his family. But I wonder who really lived happily ever after . . .