It all starts the night of the amusement park trouble.
Rika – being the smart little girl she was – had taken a hold of her Mama's hand and asked if they could all go visit Papa's grave soon. Yuko, with tears in her eyes, held tight to that little hand and nodded. Nobuharu looked between his sister and his niece and made another bad joke – something about brains and rain or something like that.
Ian wasn't listening. He was thinking of Shiro.
To the other Kyoryugers, he laughed at the Deboth Army's plans. If somebody was dead, how could their loved ones believe they suddenly just returned? If you were dead, you were dead. That was the end of the story. But to himself, he can't give himself that credit.
Years had gone by and even though Ian was fighting against those responsible for his death, Shiro would always be a tender, special piece of his heart. This was something he held close as a secret. There were just too many things that he didn't want his teammates to know about him. He trusted them beyond a shadow of a doubt – why shouldn't he? They had proven that they would gladly lay down their life to help him. Not that he would ever ask that of them. It's just...it had been his secret for so long. To share it felt like he would share Shiro, and he never had been good on that part. Shiro would probably make fun of him, if he saw him nowadays. For all the women he met, all his dates, Shiro was...Shiro always was the one in his heart. Shiro and Ian, Ian and Shiro – lovers and partners. Now and forever, Ian would always whisper when he thought of his fallen half.
If he ever saw Shiro again...he'd run to his feet and beg for his forgiveness. Beg for his love. Beg for him to come back.
That night, he climbs into his bed alone and closes his eyes. He knows he's going to dream tonight and has no doubts in his head that it'll be all about Shiro and that horrible day. It'll be a nightmare where everything turns out alright and he'll wake up to the world where it didn't.
He doesn't expect to see Souji and Amy.
On a cliff-side, a Debo Monster stands in the center not too far away from himself. On either side, at the end of flimsy pieces of wood, stand Souji and Amy, bound and blindfolded with a noose around their necks.
He's told to pick. Pick who lives and who walks to their death.
Souji and Amy don't give any sign that they know what's going on. Ian looks back and forth between them. The ropes' origin is within the monster's hand...and the monster is rather close to the cliff's end himself. If Ian does attack him, there's a good chance that the monster will bring down Souji and Amy with him. And if he can save one...
He wakes up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath.
Visibly, Ian doesn't let the dream show on his face. He comes into the Spirit Base his usual flirty self, with a bright smile for everyone to see. They give him a smile in return and go about their ways – Daigo and Nobuharu talking animatedly, Amy reading her Shoujo, Souji practicing, and Torin overlooking all. Ian takes his MoBuckle and goes through data he's gathered so far about Deboth, the stones, Daigo's pendant, and what they may have in common. At least, he pretends to.
His eyes travel up to Souji – his strong back flexes and tenses with the movements of his katana. The boy's in his own little world. He ignores everything and focuses solely on his skill. Not too far away, just as distracted, is their dainty heiress. Who, in Ian's opinion, is not acting so lady-like with her talented feet. Amy's flipping the pages in her magazine, giggling and gasping along with the story. Ian doesn't know why this is all so important to him, yet he doesn't stop watching. That night, he has the dream again. And wakes up just the same, his hand grasping for the GabreRevolver.
The days pass by like this. The dream (it's funny; he doesn't really think that 'nightmare' fits it, despite how it frightens him so much) doesn't fade in the slightest and every night he wakes up drenched and cold. Right after his own gun has kissed his own temple. (Not the GabreRevolver, but the same gun that lost him Shiro in the first place.) It's taking its toll on him. It takes him longer to respond to Daigo's foolishness or Nobuharu's stupid oyaji jokes. He's not so sharp a sharp-shooter, missing by a few milli-meters. It annoys him how much this is affecting him, but it can't be helped. The dream can not be fought off and so he has to deal with it.
The only thing that remains unchanged. He watches Souji and Amy...every, single, day. He begins to notice Amy's little smiles as she read Shoujo. Not the smile when something funny or something heartwarming happened – the smile that stretched her lips just because she was happy to be reading it. He gladly bought her more issues, just to see that joy in her eyes. He admired Souji's dedicated work ethic, his determination to honor his family's swordsmanship, but Ian found he started worrying about the boy. Once in a while, he would walk the student home, just to make sure he wasn't over-exalting himself. It also helps that he can tease the boy even more – whether he enjoys it or not. [Ian thinks that maybe he actually does.]
The two were becoming important to him – almost as important as Shiro was. Actually, exactly as important as Shiro was to him.
The realization is like being dowsed in a sudden shower. And the dream makes a whole lot more sense now that it's happened.
Thankfully, he was away at a cafe, enjoying an espresso just because. It had ruined him when he lost Shiro, when he couldn't protect him. And the Kyoryugers were always in danger – especially with Deboss growing ever stronger. If, oh god, if the day came that something happened to the two of them...oh god, he wouldn't be able to stand it... And the idea of being the one that chose when they died made his heart freeze into stone. He has to put his coffee down. His mind is racing a mile a minute and he's only just sorted out his heart.
He dreams differently that night. He dreams of Amy's unwavering smile, her strength to follow her dreams, and her faith in the purity of the world. He dreams of Souji's bright eyes, so ready to see what the world has in store; of Souji's determination to make his family line proud. He dreams of wrapping his arms around them both and keeping them safe.
He dreams of them keeping him safe.
The happy dream last for much longer so Ian's finally sleeping well and he's back to his old self and nobody's noticing anything strange. And though it pains his heart, he keeps on watching...just watching and observing. He intends to keep it to himself, to lock it away with Shiro. The worry that he might lose them overwhelms him, much more than the thought of what they could be together. It's not like it would be an easy thing to bring up. Just watching would have to be enough.
Then Amy and Souji get captured.
That fear in his heart returns and grips him tight. When had they been in trouble? How could they be taken so easily, without any of them even knowing?! He can't move, can't think...that crushing fear... – he barely remembers that he has to keep breathing. Stand down or let them die. Cambrina demands. And his dream is flashing before his eyes. He is hand is inching closer and closer to the GabreRevolver when Daigo jumps in in that way of his and shatters the crystal ball. The moment is gone and he's able to think again.
He thinks he's going to tell Amy and Souji how he felt.
Ian's not about to do with everybody watching – and he's not going to do it immediately when they are reunited – he's not that rash. They have a lot on their plate anyway, what with the addition of the new Kyoryuger who, apparently, doesn't really like them and the knowledge that Dogold was once upon a real human being – what about the other Deboss bosses? Being a superhero sure is complicated; who knew?
He waits another good long while until the day comes that King, Nossan, and their new companion Utchy have already left the Spirit Base. Amy is sitting, waiting on Souji to finish his cool downs. (He quite enjoys working out in the Base - "It's a relaxant," he said, "knowing I don't have to focus too hard on it up here...wherever here is." And then he smiled) They're walking home together. (Amy doesn't want to go home too early; Gentle's sure to scold her about the ratio of pants to skirts in her closet.)
Ian makes his way across the Base. Souji is putting away his bokken and grabbing his backpack, sharing a grateful smile with Kyoryu Pink – grateful and bit embarrassed when Amy starts teasing him that it's 6 o'clock already. She didn't stay out that late when she had class! The blush on Souji's cheeks is absolutely stunning. He turned Souji around and kissed him.
This certainly was more than he hoped for and more. Shivers ran down his spine, seratonin coursed through his veins. His heart was racing a mile a minute, with butterflies flying all around it. Oh my... He hadn't felt like this in such a long time...he missed the feeling.
It was a simple kiss, just mouth to mouth. When it ended, he was amused enough to see the bokken and backpack lying next to Souji's feet. Souji stared at him as widely as he could and that blush across his cheeks had only gotten deeper.
Ian smiled and stepped away. Amy, of course, had eyes just as wide. With a gentle hand on her cheek, Ian leaned close and kissed her other cheek. Amy's gaze focused on him even more, where that smile broadened even more.
He made his way to the seal, their doorway between the Base and the Earth. "I'll be at Tiger Boy tomorrow. I'll see you guys there." With the Gaburevolver, he was gone in a flash of light.
