Title: Anything But Vanilla

By sexyspork

Fandom: CSIM

Spoilers: Dark Room (vaguely), Curse of the Coffin (vaguely), Deviant (vaguely)

Rating: R

Pairing: Eric/Ryan, misc. others

Warning: Slash, kink, language, allusion to attempted non-con

Summary: A friendly "show and tell" in the break room leads to unexpected revelations.

I wanted to try my hand at getting the guys together in a flufftastic way. Um... yeah, it didn't turn out like I planned. _

(PS – this isn't in any set season, as the last episodes I saw on A&E had Ryan still being fired, but Marisol is alive and kicking and married, because she amuses me so. So… pseudo-AU?)

--

"You're kidding." Natalia said as she pulled her salad from the fridge, disbelief evident in her tone. Eric would have been wounded at the blatant disregard of his many and fine talents, except for the fact he could back this up, no problem. Snatching a piece of lettuce between his thumb and forefinger, the senior CSI deftly avoided the fork intent of maiming his person.

"I so can." He bragged with a smirk after swallowing his stolen vegetable, raising an eyebrow and just daring her to refute him again. The newest CSI sat there for a moment before sharing a look with Calleigh, who had been sitting back and enjoying the fireworks.

"Prove it." Boa Vista finally said after a few seconds of silence, taking a bite out of her meal absentmindedly.

"Cal...?" Eric asked, gesturing towards her stash and she gave him a cheeky grin.

"This is something I would pay good money to see." The southern belle said as she nodded, her eyes bright as she watched him intently.

"You're in luck, I'm feeling generous today." He said before popping the cherry, stem and all, into his mouth.

Moments passed in hushed anticipation before Eric grinned and pulled the knotted stem from between his lips. If he had been at a club, he would have offered for the ladies to get it themselves (preferably a hands off activity), but he knew not to push his luck. Cal was his friend with a "no midnight tip-toe" clause, and Natalia was... Natalia. He did learn from his mistakes. As it was, he plopped the item on the table before them was only the barest hint of innuendo in his expression.

Both women lucked at him with wide eyes before Calleigh began to smirk. "I can beat that."

"Oh yeah?" Eric taunted, because he knew his abilities and there was nothing to be ashamed of, if he did say so himself.

"Oh yeah." Calleigh confirmed, arching an eyebrow in a silent challenge as they both ignored Natalia's mutter of pissing contest. The other senior CSI rose from her chair, movements as graceful as ever as she made her way the well-stocked vending machine. Pushing the buttons once placing the appropriate amount of change in, Eric couldn't help but laugh when he saw the Starburst pop out.

"That's easy, Calleigh." He said between snickers.

She simply gazed back at him, serene as ever, and Eric slumped slightly from the guilt. God damnit. His mother was the only one who was supposed to get that look to work. Sighing slightly, Eric made a 'go ahead' motion with his hand, the silent rebuke as effective as ever. It was almost painful to realize how much Calleigh had him wrapped around her finger, though he thanked God it was her and not Natalia.

She grinned before cheerfully popping an orange Starburst into her mouth. Both Eric and Natalia watched her eagerly, and when she slowly withdrew the wrapper while looking coyly at Eric with hooded eyes, he silently conceded defeat. It was hard (in so many different ways) to beat an opponent who looked like a sinfully delicious saint.

Hey, just because she was hands off didn't mean he couldn't appreciate the view.

The door opened, and all of them looked up at Ryan Wolfe with startled expressions. He raised an eyebrow at them silently, looking over their sheepish faces before shrugging and heading over to the coffee pot. Eric almost breathed a sigh of relief, because this wasn't something that should be done at work of all places, but then Natalia elbowed Calleigh with a silent question.

Calleigh, the traitor, grinned. "Hey, Ryan..."

Their youngest looked up sharply and watched her suspiciously, eyebrows furrowing as his eyes darted towards the door. Eric almost snorted. If you were going to look for an escape, you shouldn't be so damn obvious. Women smelled fear, and that was not an aura of confidence.

"What?" Ryan asked warily, in such a tone that it almost made Eric want to find out what Calleigh had done to him before to put such hesitation in his frame. Wolfe was anything but insecure, so it must be quite the tale indeed.

"We're having a bit of a competition, strictly friendly you understand, and would you like to join?" She murmured demurely, but Ryan's eyes narrowed further. She must have used this on him before, but Eric knew that no one could resist their resident bullet girl for long.

"What is it?" At least he was smart, Eric granted grudgingly. It had taken him a while to ask for qualifications from Cal before agreeing to anything.

"What are you, a chicken?" Eric cut in, because everyone knew about Ryan's healthy streak of competition, and this would be priceless. He could get months of mocking out of this.

And from the way Ryan gritted teeth, he wasn't about to back down just yet. "Sure."

Natalia leaned forward eagerly, lunch forgotten on the table as Calleigh gave a triumphant little smile. "Eric just demonstrated a talent with cherry stems, and-" she held up the Starburst wrapper "-here was my contribution. Do you have anything you'd like to share with the class?"

Ryan froze, coffee cup half way to his lips, and his eyes flickered away from them for a second before coming back. "I don't have anything to add."

Calleigh full-out grinned as Natalia perked up in interest. Ryan was the worst liar they knew, and his little tells were flashing neon red. Ryan did know something, and Eric couldn't help but lick his lips in anticipation.

"Ryan..." Calleigh began and just looked at him, and the longer she did so, the more trapped his expression became. He held out longer than Eric had guessed, but he still broke under the will of the older woman.

"It's not really a...", Ryan muttered with a wave of his hand to encompass the whole topic, while the free one was clinging to his mug like a drowning man to a raft.

"I'm sure whatever it is, is fine." Natalia said with a sly smile, unwilling to give Ryan an easy way out. Their youngest sighed and held up a finger in a 'one moment' gesture, before he disappeared out the door. Thanking high heaven for the glass walls, they trekked his movements and Eric felt his eyebrows rise when Ryan stopped Jake Berkley from continuing on towards his night shift CSI who were running overtime.

The flash of jealousy was unwelcome, but not necessarily unexpected. Wolfe was a beautiful man, in a geeky sort of way, and Eric had no problem appreciating the finer points of both sexes. It was just Ryan's personality was something to be desired.

A brief disagreement seemed to go on between the two men, with Jake obviously curious while Ryan was scowling slightly. Natalia practically beamed at Calleigh once they seemed to reach an agreement, with Jake following Ryan back into the break room. Ryan sent a pleading look to Calleigh, who simply gazed back at him.

"Fine. Fine." Ryan muttered, turning his back to Jake and offering the other man his hands. "Cuff me."

Eric felt his eyebrows rise, and from the corner of his eye, he saw Natalia do the same. Jake then gave them a cocky smirk from over Ryan's shoulder that made the two senior CSI in the room bristle slightly. Calleigh, Eric could understand, because Jake was standing a bit closer to Ryan than was required and that had to be going against whatever their thing was. For himself, well… just because he didn't want Ryan didn't mean their youngest was on the market. Ryan was off limits to everyone. The sooner Berkley figured that out, the better.

Ryan, as always, was oblivious to the sudden tension and the click of the cuffs being locked was almost obscenely loud in the silence of the break room. Jake strolled over to the wall as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his artistically rumpled suit, leaning against it for a better view of the proceedings. Which was soothing in a way, because the further away he was from Ryan, the better.

Turning their attention to their now flushing colleague, Ryan was steadfastly avoiding their gaze as the pink of his cheeks began creep down his neck. Squaring his shoulders as he apparently straightened his arms locked behind his back, Ryan obviously didn't realize what an erotic picture he made. Fair cheeks virgin flushed with eyes half-closed and biting his lip in concentration, hair bed-tousled and gleaming from the sunlight streaming in from the windows, and a sliver of his abdomen lay bare as his jeans rode low on his hips.

They all stared at him in shock, and Eric couldn't help the flash of want that burned through his body. His streak of jealousy reared its head once more at the looks the others were giving an unaware Ryan, from Natalia's calculating to Calleigh's speculative to Jake's slow once-over.

Eric's hands clenched into fists as he fought back hatredjealousyangermineminemine.

He had always known Ryan was beautiful (how could you not?), but had made sure to keep his co-worker as a sexless entity in his head, much like how one would look at piece of art; appreciate it without the desire, because that had been the only thing keeping Eric from bending Ryan over the layout table the first day they met. Now Ryan was sex with legs! and it took everything in Eric's control not to shove him against the wall and claim him for all their fellow employees to see.

Eternity in those few seconds melted by in silence until two consecutive clicks made them all jump. Tossing the cuffs to a slack-jawed Jake, Ryan went back to ignoring them all as he focused his attention on his coffee.

"What?!" Eric blurted, and the pink tips of Ryan's ears went bright red. Natalia was squirming in her seat as Calleigh leaned back, satisfaction in her gaze. Eric continued, because he had to get under control somehow. "That totally didn't count."

Ryan's head snapped up as he glared at Eric. "Why not?"

Eric sputtered, "How useful could that be?"

"It is if you wake up to find yourself cuffed to the bed." Ryan said dryly before walking out of the break room.

--

Eric couldn't get Ryan out of his head, and it was driving him crazy. Everything he kept locked away once he had met the younger man had burst out of its nice little box, distracting him at the most inopportune moments. Like now.

Did Ryan really have to wear his pants that tight?!

Attempting to stay focused on sketching the crime scene was almost impossible as the other CSI continued to bend over to take pictures. Wasn't it against the law to wear clothes like that? Because indecent exposure certainly was, and that's exactly what he thought of Ryan's attire, and then Eric could cuff Ryan himself and see how long it took-

A little cough broke Eric out of reverie.

Eric couldn't help the blush that exploded across his cheeks at the amused look Horatio, his boss and his brother-in-law, was giving him. Avoiding the perceptive gaze by turning his attention back to sheet before him, the chuckle only made it worse.

"Is there a problem, Eric?" Horatio murmured, eyes crinkling as he followed the other man's line of sight. The burning feeling only increased as Eric ducked his head. The only thing that could be worse than this if it had been his mother seeing him ogle Wolfe.

"No, no problem, H." Eric muttered trying to push his embarrassment down.

"Of course not." Horatio replied as he twirled his sunglasses between his thumb and forefinger in a rare moment of levity. Giving Eric an ambiguous clap on the back with his free hand, Horatio moved towards Frank who ducked under the crime scene tape.

Forcing his thoughts to focus on the job was harder than expected, but Eric managed. Somehow. So once everything was cataloged and the sketches safely tucked away, he picked up his kit gratefully. Eric loved what he did, but if he had to stay there any longer and watch Ryan being the world's best tease, he would not be responsible for his actions. Chalk it up to cruel and unusual or duress from sun-stroke, because working in the hot Florida sunshine was making them both perspire, and he was sorely tempted to lick the droplet of sweat rolling down Ryan's neck.

Shifting uncomfortably for a moment, Eric took a deep breath in order to control himself and raised the tape to pack away his kit. Ignoring the look of amusement Horatio was giving him (he really didn't want to know what it meant)and the way Frank was eyeing him as if he were a perp, he put his case in the back of the hummer. And Eric almost jumped when Ryan suddenly appeared at his side.

"Tuck this in next to your's? I want to take one last sweep to make sure I didn't miss anything." The younger man asked, needing to comply with his OCD before they left while avoiding Eric's gaze.

Nodding and taking the silver kit, Eric was so incredibly sure they'd be able to get back to the lab without incident. He obviously was wrong when Frank opened his mouth.

"So what was this I hear about you pullin' a Houdini?"

The pink that crossed Ryan's face was anything but a sunburn.

"My uncle taught me a lot. That was one of them." He muttered, glancing back towards the open crime scene in almost manic desperation.

"Safecrackin' and now this? That don't look real swell for your uncle, Wolfe."

Ryan shrugged vaguely. "My uncle was a jack-of-all-trades."

Horatio cut in, before Frank could allude to any more of Ryan's family's history. Their youngest was incredibly closed mouth, so what little they did get made them want to know more. And hinting at Ron Wolfe's possible criminal background would not prove conducive to making Ryan open up about his life.

"It would be most interesting to see it in person. The tale… differs quite a bit person to person." Horatio said, and it shouldn't have been possible, but Ryan's blush darkened.

"H…" He murmured plaintively while their boss just gave him that soft, blue-eyed look.

And I thought only Calleigh could do that, Eric thought with a grin, because just like Eric couldn't deny Cal something, Ryan would never deny H anything. Eric smirked a bit until he realized exactly what Horatio was asking. Jesus Christ, Eric barely lasted through one example, how would he last through another?!

Ryan muttered obscenities under his breath as he turned his back to Frank, and they all raised their eyebrows in shock. Eric didn't think half the things Ryan had said were physically possible.

"Let's just get this over with." Ryan grumped as Frank locked the handcuffs.

It was the same as the last time, only worse, as their youngest had been working out in the hot sun and managed to put both a healthy glow and perspiration to his cheeks. Eric swallowed hard, eyes lingering over Ryan's form until once more the clicks were evident.

Scowling as he handed the cuffs back to their owner, Ryan glared at them all as Horatio chuckled slightly. "I should have just told Calleigh no."

Eric couldn't help but grin, though there was no doubting the lascivious gleam in his eye. "Has anyone ever been able to say no to her?"

"There's a precedent for everything." Ryan sniped, intensifying his glare and unaware that it didn't help Eric's libido one bit. He liked his partners feisty, after all, and that fit Ryan to a T.

Horatio's outright laughter made them stop and gape. Both Eric and Ryan blinked as Frank stilled in surprise. Even with his boss' marriage to his sister, Horatio was still Horatio and this was not common to his character.

Maybe Mari is as good for him as he is for her, Eric mused was strange to think, but it made sense. They complimented each other nicely, strengths playing off weakness until they were a united front, because one always began where the other ended; circular, ever repeating, bright as gold, but tempered with resilient steel.

I wonder if I'll… He trailed off, looking up from H's wedding band to catch the green of Ryan's eyes. Both men looked away and turned their attention to their boss when he composed himself enough to start talking.

"May I…?" He asked, holding his hands out and Ryan sighed.

"Ever the investigator." Ryan said, but Eric wasn't sure if the tone was sarcastic or bittersweet, and he held out his wrists for Horatio.

And Eric knew it was bad if he was jealous of Horatio touching Ryan.

The lieutenant studied Ryan's wrists intently before he turned them over and taped the watch-face on Ryan's left arm with his index finger. "Very clever. I assume you hide something in the band."

"Trade secret. And CSI should never assume." Ryan said with a smirk, but tensed when Horatio froze as he stared at the wrists in his grasp.

Horatio took a step closer, concern written all over his face. "Mr. Wolfe-"

"We really should get back to the lab." Ryan cut in, jerking his hands away and ducking under the tape to make the one last loop of the crime scene. They watched him comply with his OCD before Eric turned to Horatio, his own alarm apparent.

"H?" He asked softly, and the redhead turned to face him as Horatio slipped his glasses back on. Eric knew that look, and it sent his gut coiling with unease at the thought that something was wrong with Ryan.

"I'll take care of it, Eric." Horatio murmured, eyes hidden, and for once in his life, Eric hated those damnable shades. Ryan was hiding something and Horatio was clicking puzzle pieces together before Eric had even realized there were pieces to put together.

Because that glimpse of H's expression before he donned his figurative shield screamed protect the victim! and Eric could only imagine what had put that on his brother-in-law's face.

--

TBC