Summer.
The season where the Sun shined the brightest on the planet Earth. In the city of Tokyo, the numerous citizens bemoaned at the extreme heat.
Some waved their faces with their own hands in order to get some breeze. The lone people with sweat on their faces pooled excessively off of them, while the parents scolded their children to stay still so they could spray them with protective sun screen.
((Ugh! How on Earth can anyone stand this heat?))
{If the brightness of the Sun is shining this excessively, then Amaterasu-ōmikami must be ecstatic. This season is her favorite after all. For reasons that are obvious, of course.}
[Isssei.]
{Partner, remind us why you're laying on the top of the apartment roof? Just because Ouroboros and the Omniversal Entity are temporarily at their respective residences, doesn't mean you can't do anything productive.}
A young man with short brown hair smiled in content as he put his hands behind his head. His eyes, the same color as his hair, were closed. In contrast to his light colored hair, he wore all black clothing, which consisted of a black long-sleeved shirt, black jeans, and black boots. Anyone who would have dressed in the same clothing the young man wore, would suffer through an intense heatstroke.
Luckily for the young man, he could stand the heat indefinitely.
"It's summer this time around, Ddraig." Issei Hyoudou answered, "And besides, school's canceled. There really isn't anything else to do."
((You could get a job, kid.))
"I think saving the planet and the supernatural world frequently is considered a job, Al. It's not exactly easy to do." The Solar God quipped back to Albion's clone.
{That may be true. But unlike a job, you don't get paid for it, partner.}
"Of course I do, Ddraig." Issei argued, "Ophis, Mom and Dad, Leiko-san, and the people of Earth remain safe and sound. That's really all the payment I need."
"Although I can't say I'm surprised to hear you say something like that, rival," A confident and snarky voice replied, "What you just said sounded very cliché."
Issei opened his eyes in response to the familiar voice, and looked up to see the source.
A young man with dark silver hair and ice blue eyes with a light ultramarine hue, made his presence known. He was dressed in a dark green V-neck shirt with a high-collared black leather jacket over it. He also wore burgundy jeans with a silver chain drooping down over them and black leather chaps with three bands encircling his right calf, and black shoes with black buckles.
"Oh Vali, it's you." Issei nodded to the host of the Vanishing Dragon with a light smile, "Good to see you."
"Don't know how you can stand this heat, rival." Vali commented.
"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." Issei casually replied, happy to finally use the phrase.
"Humph, you sound real proud of yourself for saying that." Vali huffed as he rolled his eyes before putting his hands in his jacket pockets, "What are you doing all alone out here? I thought that cousin of yours would be all over you after she spent the night over here at this apartment."
Issei blinked in confusion at Vali's words, before his eyes widened in rememberance.
"Oh no. Leiko-san never got the chance to spend the night over." He said before looking up at Vali in surprise, "Wait, how'd you even know about that? I don't think Ophis and I told you about it."
"The same way I know how you visited my grandfather in the Realm of the Shinigami." Vali replied calmly, prompting Issei to look at him in shock.
Vali's eyes narrowed at the look on his rival's face. Did Issei really think he wouldn't find out about it?
"Vali. I didn't mean to...how did you…?" Issei tried to speak before his words trailed off.
The Solar God didn't know what to do. In the back of his mind, he was a bit nervous by the look on Vali's face. He suddenly felt that he had crossed a thin line between him and Vali, and that was something Issei never wanted to happen. Aside from Saji, Vali was one of the few beings of the supernatural he was comfortable around to revel in camaraderie. He could even consider Vali to be one of his closest friends, even if the latter denied it.
With a scoff, Vali lifted one of his hands from his pockets and tapped one finger onto his own temple.
"Think, Hyoudou," He started with a frown, "What is something that you and I both have in common?"
Issei didn't have to think for his answer, as he didn't want to drag his rival's reaction any longer.
"Dragons," He said, "The Two Heavenly Dragons."
"That's true," Vali admitted, "But there's something else."
At Issei's confused look, Vali resisted the urge to roll his eyes. As strong as Issei was, he could be insufferably dense at the worst times.
"The White Dragon Emperor, Hyoudou. The Dragon sealed within my Sacred Gear."
"…Oh." Issei said as he rubbed the back of his head in shame.
"The portion of Albion's soul that was sealed inside the jewel of the Vanishing Dragon contains a fragment of his consciousness. Because I'm Albion's host, he and I can detect the location of his soul fragment."
"So everywhere I go," Issei began hesitantly, "You and Albion will be able to find me."
"...Right." Vali only looked at Issei with an unreadable stare.
The host of the Vanishing Dragon was a bit surprised that the feeling of anger and resentment didn't emerge inside of him. He should've been angry at his rival for having the utterly stupid idea to visit his loathsome grandfather in Death's Domain. But for whatever reason, he didn't have it in him to harbor any sort of anger towards his rival.
"I just want to know one thing, Hyoudou," Vali began, "Why did you visit him? Of all people, why him?"
Issei's shameful look never changed, but his eyes narrowed at the memory of his interaction with Rizevim Lucifer.
"I had to know something."
"Know what?" Vali asked.
"Why he lied."
Vali rose an eyebrow in response.
"Lied about what?" He replied, prompting Issei to look up at him with a serious face.
"When he said that there was an unknown deity who told him how to unseal the Trihexa," Issei started, "When in reality, it was Grandma who told him."
"Izanami-no-Mikoto?" Vali asked, his eyes widening a little in surprise, "That can't be. She resided in Yomi at that time. And even if it was her, why would she tell my grandfather that?"
"Because for every fifteen hundred people that were born by my grandfather," Issei replied with a wistful look, "One thousand of them would die by Izanami's hands."
Vali frowned at Issei's cryptic words.
"So she wanted to destroy the world." He said with a scoff, before looking back to Issei, "Hmph. Figures that our grandparents would have the same goal."
"Vali…" Issei started tentatively, "I didn't-"
"You don't need to apologize to me, Hyoudou," Vali interrupted, "I'm not angry at you or anything like that. I was just confused why you visited him of all people. More often than not, I've sensed you visiting Riser Phenex in that realm as well."
The name of the Phenex Devil caused Issei's wistful look to dissolve into an expression of light melancholy, but he pushed it down before Vali could see it.
Looking down at his rival, Vali sighed and sat down next to him, placing one of his arms over his knee.
"Hyoudou, let me ask you something."
"What is it?"
"How do you think your life will turn out?"
Issei blinked as he looked over to Vali.
"Huh?"
Rolling his eyes, Vali turned to look down from Issei's apartment rooftop, watching the citizens walk through the intense summer heat.
"Think about it, Issei. Ever since you came in contact with the supernatural world, your life hasn't exactly been positive."
Issei blinked as he looked over to Vali.
"There's a lot of negative events that have happened to me, Vali," Issei began, "But there has been some good."
"And that is?" Vali questioned.
Issei adopted a warm smile as he reminisced.
"I got to meet Ophis and Great Red," He said with his smile widening, "and Saji-san, Mom, Ddraig, and everyone else. And I guess I'm glad to meet you and Albion."
Vali scoffed as he refused the urge to smirk.
"Don't be so sentimental, Hyoudou."
"What? We're friends, aren't we?"
"We're rivals who are destined to fight each other."
"...So we're friends, right?" Issei repeated.
"Whatever you say." Vali intoned.
"It's true though, Vali." Issei insisted, "I'm glad to have met some of the people I know to this day. It's just that things would be better if other beings would stop trying to attack me with the intention of battle."
"We both know that's never going to happen, Issei."
"Huh?" Issei questioned, "What's never going to happen?"
"You being left alone," Vali said as he looked at Issei seriously, "You're a God, Hyoudou. Not only that, but you carry the souls of the Two Heavenly Dragons and one Evil Dragon. And your body was recreated from the flesh of Great Red and Ophis' powers."
"But what does that have to do with enemies not fighting me?"
"Dragons are beings that represent power, Issei. So it'd only be natural that we; the hosts of Dragons, draw allies and enemies alike."
"Is that really the reason why people want to fight me all the time, and the supernatural beings chasing me around?" Issei asked in wonder, "Because I'm the host of three Dragons?"
"Well that, and other beings have said that the supernatural world itself is somehow obsessed with you." Vali said.
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Issei moaned tiredly with a sigh.
"So tell me, Issei," Vali started, "You said there's been some positive events that have happened since you came in contact with the supernatural world. Is the Unwanted Harem a part of those events?"
"Darn it, Vali. Why'd you have to bring that up?" Issei said with a dignified pout.
"Hahaha," Vali chuckled in amusement, "How are you doing with that by the way?"
"I can't explain it, Vali!" Issei insisted, "Because I don't know how these entities think!"
"You don't know how they think, Hyoudou? Then what have you been doing all your life?"
"Trying to save the Earth." Issei replied sarcastically, "What about you?"
"Don't change the subject." Vali chided playfully, "How is your Unwanted Harem?"
"If you must know," Issei began in a indignant tone, "There have been times when I find myself waking up with my head on a pair of very, very large breasts. Sometimes it's Ophis' breasts I keep sleeping on, other times it's the Omniversal Entity's. And occasionally it's both."
"So you're saying that you've grown a liking to very large breasts?" Vali questioned with a smug smirk.
"Damn it, Vali! That's not what I'm saying at all!" Issei cursed his rival.
"Then what are you saying, Hyoudou." Vali teased, "All of these primordial entities take upon female forms with large breasts at the mere mention of you, or even when they finally meet you. Would you care to explain why?"
"It's not my fault Ophis and the Omniversal Entity made their breasts large enough for me to sleep on! And don't even get me started on Shinigami-san and the other primordial entities! Their breasts are so large it's gotten to the point that they're starting to appear in my dreams involuntarily! I just don't get it!"
"Very amusing," Vali drawled, "If this keeps up, we're all gonna end up calling you the Breast Dragon Emperor from now on."
There was a tense silence as Vali enjoyed the look of horrified shock on his rival's face. It took all of his willpower not to laugh at Issei, and the host of the Vanishing Dragon settled for closing his eyes with a smirk.
{H-h-h-HELL NO!}
It seemed Ddraig was the first one to crack.
(What's the matter, Ddraig? Are you embarrassed by your host?)
{YOU SHUT YOUR GODDAMNED MOUTH, ALBION! AND YOU CAN TELL YOUR GODDAMNED HOST TO SHUT IT TOO! I refuse to be referred to as the Breast Dragon Emperor! I REFUSE!}
((Geez, Ddraig. Calm down.))
{NO! SHUT UP!}
Issei, recovering from his shock, gave Vali a stone cold glare.
"That wasn't funny, Vali. And you know it."
"I beg to differ, Hyoudou," Vali responded with a small chuckle, "It's pretty funny. Gut-bustingly hilarious even. Just the thought of seeing you suffocated by breasts is embarrassing enough."
As Issei went to respond, the clone of the Vanishing Dragon responded with a query of his own.
((Hold on, Vali. Don't you have a fetish for the buttocks of a woman or something?))
Another tense silence occurred, with Vali's teasing expression slowly dissolving into an annoyed glare. Issei's face had changed into a look of confusion.
"Wait, what?"
"That's a big mouth you have there, don't you Albion?" Vali muttered darkly.
(Me?! But I didn't say anything!)
"Quiet Albion, you know who I meant!"
"Vali?" Issei asked hesitantly, "You like women's butts? I didn't know that."
Vali tried to hide the fact that he was grateful his rival didn't take the immediate opportunity to get back at him. It was a good thing his rival retained enough of his social awkwardness to not tease back.
Holding back his frustration with the clone of his Dragon for the moment, Vali took a deep breath and looked over to Issei.
"Yes, Hyoudou." He began, "I have a slight fetish for women's buttocks. But the fetish isn't powerful enough to overwhelm my lust for battle."
The host of the White Dragon Emperor said his phrase with as much dignity as he could muster. All that dignity instantly dissolved the moment Issei opened his mouth.
"Oh. So you're an Ass-man." Issei deduced.
"What did you just call me?"
"An Ass-man." Issei repeated, "You said you like women's butts, right? So there you go. You're an Ass-man."
Vali's left eye twitched against his own will, wondering whether or not his rival was playing around him. Judging by his expression and Ddraig's lack of reply, Vali deduced that Issei was indeed being serious with him, as well as aggravatingly innocent in his words.
"Hyoudou, I swear if I didn't know you, I'd call you a smartass."
Issei blinked at Vali's last word.
"A smartass? But I'm not a donkey, Vali."
"Eh?" Vali asked.
"Oh wait!" Issei exclaimed as he palmed his face, "I forgot 'ass' means donkey. So I just called you a donkey-man! Sorry about that."
Vali could only blink in surprise as his eyes widened.
'What on Earth are you, Issei Hyoudou?'
(That's the question we all aim to answer, partner.)
"O-ok."
"Hmm," Issei hummed, not hearing or just ignoring Albion's host, "So that's not right. I can't call you a donkey-man."
His eyes then widened as he thought of something, and he snapped his fingers.
"I got it!"
"Oh, this I gotta hear." Vali deadpanned.
"It's perfect!" Issei said excitedly, "We both know that you love fighting, Vali! And you revealed that you like women's butts too! So what name do you get when you combine those two together?"
"Tell me, Issei." Vali tonelessly said as he rolled his eyes, "What name will it be?"
The next words out of Issei's mouth would forever scar Vali's state of mind.
"The Booty Warrior!"
{…Damn, partner.}
'What?'
{Look closely at Albion's host.}
Issei heeded the Welsh Dragon's words and looked towards his rival.
"Vali?"
"Issei, just…just please stop talking."
"What, it's not a good name? But it's perfect! You're a fighter and you like-"
"Look, just stop talking for the next ten minutes, because my brain needs that much time to recover from what you just said."
"What, was it a bad thing to say?" Issei asked, genuinely confused.
"Issei, what you just said was so bad that not even Leiko Hyoudou would have enough patience or sanity to explain it to you."
"But what'd I say wro-?"
"Hyoudou, just shut it, all right?!"
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