Title: Truth in an Exam Room
Category: House, M.D.
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing: House/Cuddy
Set: 5x19--"Locked In"
Rating: R
Summary: "Whenever you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."--Arthur Conan Doyle. Fourth in the Stronger than Vicodin series.
Author's Note: Post-episode. Takes place two weeks after "Intent", obviously, since that's how long we had to wait for this episode…
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As the elevator doors slid closed, House looked down at his cell phone. The small white box proclaiming "Contact Deleted" glared up at him and he frowned. He'd been completely serious when he had told Wilson that he wouldn't be going back to therapy, and he'd been honest about his reason why. But he couldn't help thinking about what Wilson had said.
"You want to change…"
"…doing this for Cuddy, aren't you?"
"…screwed up every chance…"
Blue eyes narrowed as the black cell snapped shut. House slipped the phone into his blazer pocket and leaned heavily on his cane as the elevator dinged and the doors opened on the ground floor. There was only one thing on his mind as he paused briefly outside the clinic, gazing through the glass doors with the red oak-leaf hospital logo emblazoned on them. Watching her. Following her every movement. She glanced up suddenly and he froze.
House would never admit it, at least not out loud, perhaps only to himself, but Wilson was right. About everything. Every chance he'd ever had at being happy, he'd shot down. Killed dead. House didn't think he could ever be happy, but something had cracked inside him. Something had driven him to seek professional help…even if it didn't work. Something had been making him do things lately he wouldn't normally have done.
He was startled out of his musings when he realized that Cuddy had exited the clinic and was standing right in front of him, looking up at him.
"Are you okay?" she asked. "Were you waiting for me?"
"I…" House started, his mouth suddenly dry. There was so much he felt in that moment, when her worried eyes locked with his. "My offer from earlier still stands," he covered jokingly. Her eyes narrowed slightly in confusion as his words came back to her.
"Why don't you come by later? I'll tie you up…" Had he really been intending to tie her up? Something told Cuddy that House hadn't been his usual self lately. Of course, given what had occurred between them within the past month or so, she didn't know why she was so surprised.
"I…" Now it was Cuddy's turn to stammer. "House…" she glanced around quickly before grabbing his left arm and dragging him into the clinic with her. She pulled him into an exam room and let go of his arm. When she started to pace, House found himself worrying slightly. When she stopped pacing and turned a stare at him, time stopped. He blinked and she was in front of him again, staring up at him.
House swallowed the lump in his throat and returned Cuddy's gaze evenly. There was no contest of wills here, no battle for dominance, no power plays of any sort. Just a sort of mutual understanding. There was a reason, he decided, that counseling hadn't worked for him. And that reason was standing in front of him, radiating something akin to… His eyes widened slightly as he let his eyes roam over her.
"Lisa," he gasped out, her name caught on the lump in his throat that refused to vanish. "Do you…Are you…." he choked on the words, unable to word the question properly. Cuddy seemed to know what he was trying to say, however. She didn't answer and House's eyes narrowed slightly. Something was definitely different, and it annoyed House that he couldn't figure out what it was.
Every single thought about that went out the window as he suddenly found himself pressed against the door of the exam room, Cuddy's lips pressed firmly against his. He allowed his eyes to close as he pushed back, kissing her with every emotion she'd ever caused him to feel. This was it, he decided, prying Cuddy's lips apart with his tongue, thrusting the muscle into her mouth. His cane clattered to the floor as he leaned back against the door for support and he raised his hands to bring Cuddy closer to him, deepening their already heated kiss. He groaned into her mouth as he felt her fingers working quickly at the fastenings of his jeans.
Cuddy was his reason. She was why the therapy didn't work. Why did he need to lay on some stranger's couch and complain about life, the universe, and everything when he had Cuddy to channel everything into? Every emotion went to Cuddy. Every third thought he had was about Cuddy. He'd wanted so much to change for her…to make himself more acceptable to her. He wanted her to actually seem to want him around. This was his last chance at happiness, he was certain of it. More certain than he'd ever been of anything else in his life. He broke the kiss.
"Lisa," he panted, each breath more painful than the last as he tried desperately to bring air back into his oxygen-deprived lungs. "Lisa…there's something you have to know…" He swallowed hard as she turned her eyes on him. He could never say what was truly in his heart; he could never allow himself to be hurt by those words again. He couldn't risk it, not even for Lisa Cuddy. "I…" He gasped as she cut him off with a brief kiss.
"I know, Greg." He was shocked. How could she possibly know what he'd been about to say when he himself probably wouldn't have even known until two seconds after he'd said it. "I've thought about it a lot, and I've decided. I want to have a relationship with you." Everything around him fell away in broken shards at her words.
"Lisa…you don't know what you're saying. There's only two reasons I can think of why you would seriously consider wanting to be with me. One of them is unlikely, and the second is twice as unlikely."
"I know exactly what I'm saying, Greg. I just…I've had a lot of time to think. And I think we can make this work."
He shook his head, trying to figure out what was going through his boss's head at this moment in time. Either she knew about his psychiatrist appointments somehow, or she'd fallen so deep in love with him that she couldn't get out even if she was given a golden staircase to help her up. His mental voice was silenced as he felt his jeans shift and he almost fell as the denim was pushed down to mid-thigh, his boxers dragged down as well.
Cuddy's lips were on his again, and he was certain that he'd actually fallen asleep in the elevator and was currently dreaming. That was the only explanation he could come up with as to why his boss was suddenly on her knees in front of him when he opened his eyes again. He wanted to say 'Oh god…please…don't stop…' but what came out instead was "Lisa…wait…I can't…." She glanced up at him, her hand hovering just centimeters from touching his half-hard cock. "I've just been through something…" In his head, he was kicking himself; his mind was screaming at him for pushing Cuddy away when she so obviously wanted to return his favor from two weeks previously; screaming at him for pushing away the only woman who constantly occupied his thoughts; running away from what he felt, but could never say. But he couldn't take the chance that Cuddy had found out somehow and this was some sort of pity-blowjob or something. His ego wouldn't be able to take much more bruising. It had been hard enough going to counseling in the first place, but having his boss go down on him because of it would be too much.
He could tell though, from the way her eyes narrowed, that she didn't know. And he debated for a split second whether or not to tell her. Tell her, and this would be a pity-blowjob. Or maybe an ego-boosting blowjob. Don't tell her and destroy every chance he had at having his first meaningful relationship in almost a decade. He opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a groan. It took him a moment to realize that as he'd been thinking, she'd been stroking him to full arousal.
"Lisa…" he ground out. "I…" It was decided. "I want this…" he gasped out, reaching for her, hauling her up, using her as a support as he guided her toward the examination table. If she was going to insist on sucking him off, he wanted to be in a position that wouldn't put so much strain on his leg. He moved to sit on the exam table, but Cuddy stopped him.
"I thought you were going through something?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I am. I need you to help me through it though." It hurt him to admit that much. But it was true. Without her, he wasn't sure he could handle the changes in his life. To show her that he was being honest, he leaned in and kissed her fiercely. As he pulled away, the look in her eyes told him what he'd been afraid of.
It was happening again.
And he hadn't been able to stop it.
He didn't think he could have stopped it.
He didn't think he wanted to stop it.
He found himself sitting on the exam table, Cuddy kneeling again between his legs, licking his cock as if it were some rare candy. House gasped, biting back a groan, as the warm heat of her mouth surrounded his prick. His hands gripped the sides of the table as her lips moved over his erection. The suppressed groan burst forth as he felt her throat relax around him. She was swallowing him whole, and it was probably the most erotic thing House had felt in his entire life.
Her tongue swirled around his shaft and he hissed, moving one hand to the back of her head, stroking her hair encouragingly. She took the contact as a silent signal of 'More. Please, dear god, more.' and sucked harder, tilting her head slightly and grazing her teeth lightly across the hypersensitive flesh of House's cock. His hand gripped her hair in an involuntary reflex as there was a sharp intake of air at the sensation. Cuddy bobbed her head and licked and sucked and House moaned, unknowing of how much longer he'd be able to last under the weight of ecstasy. It wasn't as long as he initially estimated.
At some point, sweat had broken out over House's brow, and he gasped and moaned, biting back the majority of the noises, keeping the volume low. There were still other people in the clinic, after all. Cuddy's head twisted again, and the sudden contact of her teeth on his member again made his eyes roll back into his skull
"Oh, fuck, Lisa…" he ground out, his balls tightening as she pulled back and moved her mouth forward again, making certain to catch every last drop of semen. There was something so entirely erotic about watching his boss swallow his seed. But he couldn't say much more than he already had, his climax leaving him speechless and gasping for air. By the time he'd cleared his head, Cuddy was standing in front of him again, offering him support while he pulled his pants back up. She helped him stand and kept him upright while he tugged his jeans and boxers back to their rightful place.
Their eyes met as he finished redressing and there was a silent communication between them before Cuddy retrieved House's cane from where it had fallen and opened the door of the exam room to allow him to exit. She offered him a ride home, since his bike was still a wreck from the crash. He accepted wordlessly and they left the hospital together.
As she dropped him off in front of his apartment after the silent eight mile drive, he realized that if she didn't know that he'd been going through therapy, trying to change--for her--then there was only one option left. She hadn't said anything, but it had been made painfully clear to him as he slumped against the door of his apartment, staring around at his disorganized belongings.
She hadn't said anything, but he knew. Somehow, he knew. She loved him; he was sure she always had, but there was no proof. He'd have to wait for her to say something either way. But as he took out his prescription bottle and dry swallowed a Vicodin before limping to his room to sleep, he knew one thing was certain.
He liked her. A Lot. And that was the closest he'd ever get to saying the three words that always seemed to cause him more pain than his bum leg ever had.
It's late, and I got distracted a lot while writing this, so if it's not up to the same quality as my previous entries in this series, please don't hesitate to let me know. Anyways, so ends this week's episode tag, and I'll see you all next week for "Simple Explanation".
