Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!
A/N: Apologies now for any grammar/spelling mistakes. That's entirely my own fault. If you would be so kind, drop me a review and let me know what you thought! They make me happy. Thank you!
Imprint
I never thought this would happen to me, I never thought I would imprint. Not like Sam, not like Quil, not like Jared, I was sure I was meant to be alone. Yet here she stands, unaware of me, as I am unaware of her. I had thought that I had pushed all feelings aside, this wolf that I am cannot feel and cannot think like the person who was once called Jacob. I barely remember him.
Why is then, with a past I have tried so hard to forget, do I remember imprinting? Is it a thing of the wolf clans? Is this truly how they pick a mate? If so, why then does the name Bella still touch my conscious thoughts? Her name brings a sort of pain, one I cannot understand.
Yet neither of these are the reasons I am here, hidden, unaware. It is instinct and a slow revival of something I never want to remember. Here I am king, here I know rocks and soil and trees and weather. This is my kingdom. Jacob had no kingdom, he had a ruin. He had a pack though, where was that pack?
These thoughts circulate, turning and drifting away as my mind cannot grasp their full concepts. Who is Jacob? And then I remember slowly, as if I am old and my mind not as quick as it once was. Who is Bella? I remember that a little easier. This pain I cannot describe, it is completely alien to who I am. I am not meant to feel this. Survival is me, it is what I should feel. Why am I different?
Then again the thought, imprint. This come's with a whiff of the girl's scent. She does not know I am here. That is alright with me. I am content to watch, keep her safe. Why? I wonder. Imprint, imprint. I think more of Jacob is surfacing. Some thoughts that are not mine, coming to the fore. I am recalling things that a wolf should not recall. Human things. Was I human once?
Ah, pain, tragedy, yes I was human once. This imprint, this human girl, with her strange scent that compels my wary nature to hide and yet show myself, though I will not do that. Humans are dangerous after all. I have no inclination to leave though, content to stay and watch and never be seen.
I remember again, a fragment that clings to me as I lie there. A story Jacob told this girl Bella about imprinting. What did he say? Gravity, what is gravity? Is it what keeps me here? If it is, how does it move then?
Sluggishly my thoughts turn, bringing around and growing in potential. I understand gravity now and pain more thoroughly. Yes, I remember this story that Jacob told Bella. He said to her that imprinting was when gravity moved and attached to another. Life except for that other ceased. No, not entirely, they became the sun. Yes, that is how it went.
Jacob must have been wrong I think, as that presence again fades. I do not think it is gravity moved. I think it is that I have found a reason to live. Bella, the name whispers again. What about Bella? This imprint, this girl out there is not she and somehow in a way, she could be if I wished. I do not wish it.
A reason to live is an important thing. I didn't think I would find one again. Not after that horrible wound. I did not think I could imprint. My mind is still struggling with this concept and Jacob surfaces again. He is stronger this time I think, our different thoughts clashing a bit as we struggle for a balance we haven't had a need for in some time.
I'm looking at her now, truly looking. You want a description I suppose? What should I say? Nothing of course. I cannot describe her. She is human, not a wolf. I do not think that matters. What color is her hair, her eyes, what silly questions, I do not understand. Who cares. Jacob inside me does not care either. She is beautiful to him and it matters not what others think. He will protect her. No, I will protect her.
There is a brief tumble of confusion before the matter is sorted. Things are a bit different now. I think I dare to inch forward a bit, to smell her better, to hear if she is speaking or perhaps sense what it is she is doing here. I creep and am in nearly in sight when my instinct takes over and I crouch. Jacob is frustrated.
No, not Jacob, I realize a moment later, after studying this imprint before me. I am Jacob, I am the wolf. How confusing. But it's true. I am Jacob and I am yet a wolf. Are these possible? Have my thoughts been mine or Jacob's all along? Perhaps we will get it sorted out in a while.
A dull aching bleeds around my tattered heart. If my heart is tattered why is it still beating? Ah, it is mine and Jacob's thought that is not yet mine and yet so. If that makes sense, I do not think it does. Yet it is tattered by this Bella. I do not think she meant it, the pain. What I can remember she seems pleasant enough. Oh, that is why. A leech. Funny what I am recalling. It must be Jacob and me finally reaching a balance again.
The imprint moves, sighing. I lift my head and turn it so I may listen better. I wonder what her name is. Does it matter? She is a sun now, a goddess, no that does not even describe it. How to describe this? You cannot, I am afraid you cannot. You'd have to experience it to know. How unfortunate. I wish you'd have a chance to.
Bella, her name is being overpowered by this imprint. This girl who can do so much more harm to me and yet I would give her that power. Would I? A moment of misunderstanding results before I decide, yes I would. That is more a thought of a man than a wolf. Things are indeed changing, just as Bella is beginning to fade. She will always be there, I think I can forgive her now, if this is what she felt about the leech. Some resentment still stirs but now I know she had no choice. Just like I have no choice and am glad that I do not in this matter.
I never thought I would imprint, not after all that had happened to me. Yet here she was. I do not need to describe her, to say her scent, to say her mannerisms. They do not count, they do not matter. It is only her and the time we have to learn about the other. I am no longer here, it is completely Jacob who walks now, unsteady on his feet. I am in the back of his mind but I watch. I know he will return and this imprint, though only of two feet, will run beside me. That is all that matters. This knowledge that we will run together and that she is my imprint. I will always care for her, no matter what happens.
