"Fry . . . how could you do this to us?"
"It was an accident! I didn't mean to, I swear," Fry stuttered, hoping that there was some way that his wife would take his side on this.
This though, was far fetched.
You see, Fry'd made about a million mistakes since he'd been arrived in the future twenty five years ago, but this one was probably the worst one yet. And by the worst one, he meant the stupidest one and that was really saying something.
He and Leela had gotten married twelve years previously and since then, they'd adopoted two kids, Gracie and Jonathan, and had one son of their own, Yancy. They'd lived a happy life, a much happier life than Fry ever could've asked for, but that had all changed recently. Planet Express had been forced to make some cutbacks because of the failing economy and with three children, Fry and Leela were hardly making ends meet. This led to them fighting, which was something they hadn't done since they'd gotten married. Things were incredibly unhappy all around – he'd even had to kick Bender out of the house against his wishes so that they didn't have to provide for him as well. This drama went on for about a month before finally, Fry's insecurities got the better of him and in a bout of bad decision making, he'd gambled to earn some extra cash. He'd gotten too cocky when he'd been on a hot streak and decided to raise the stakes. Now he owed thousands of dollars to the Don bot – none of which he had.
We start our story moments after Fry confessed the truth to Leela. The truth that he was being hunted down by the robot mafia, as well as the police since one of the other gamblers had reported him. They stood in their kitchen, Gracie practicing "Jingle Bell Rock" on the piano and Yancy and Jonathan singing along at the top of their lungs in the next room.
"How is that an accident?! You gambled money that we don't have away! You're either getting killed or going to prison!" Leela crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head.
"I just wanted to help!"
"You always do that," she said bitterly.
Fry raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"
"It means that when has you 'helping' ever actually helped? Every time you try to help, something bad happens to us!"
He couldn't help but be offended, mostly because she was right. Fry wasn't particularly skilled at anything, but he'd always thought that his one good quality was his ability to look out for people. Clearly, this was his worst because it never actually did anything.
"What are you gonna tell the kids?" was his response.
There were clear tears in Leela's eye as she leaned back against the kitchen table. She had nothing to say to this – how is anyone supposed to deliver such awful news to their children? Instead of a painful silence, the two were greeted by Yancy dancing into the room, slipping on the tile. Leela caught him in her arms and an irritated Fry scolded him, "What do you think you're doing, Yancy? You're gonna kill yourself on this damn tile!"
"I'm sorry, daddy," the eight year old said. After him, ran in Jonathan holding two handfuls of tinsel and throwing them into the air.
"MERRY XMAS!" Jonathan shouted in a voice meant to sound like Robot Santa.
"Jonathan, clean up that mess," said Leela without much anger in her voice.
"Aw, c'mon, it was Yancy's idea, not mine! Why do I have to do it?"
"Because your mother told you to! Just do as she says, and clean it up. Now!" Fry felt a sudden weight on his chest and left the room, trying to stop himself from yelling at his children anymore. It must've come as a surprise to them. Fry was always the fun parent who let them get away with everything, Leela was the strict one. That was just the way things were.
But as soon as he sat down on the couch, Gracie stopped playing and turned to face him. "Dad, so I know we've been over this, but do you think maybe I can still get just a mini ship? It's not as expensive as the regular sized ones,"
"Gracie, it's Xmas Eve. Don't you think we got your presents already?"
"Well . . . I mean, I know money's been tight lately . . . but you said a few days ago that things were really looking up for us –"
"Forget what I said! Things never look up for anybody! You're fifteen years old, you'd think you'd be able to get that through your head by now! Now just go back to playing and shut the hell up!"
Fry regretted it the moment he saw his daughter's eyes well up. Leela and the boys must've heard him yelling because they were now standing in the doorway, Leela looking more disappointed in him then she'd ever seen him look.
"I hate you!" Gracie said after a brief silence, scurrying away into her bedroom.
Yancy followed behind her, while Leela and Jonathan stood standing. Jonathan was Gracie's blood brother, younger than her by only a few years, so it was natural he would take her side in situations like this over Fry's. "How dare you talk to her like that!"
"I didn't mean it," he sighed, feeling like that was his only excuse for anything right now.
"Then why'd you say it?"
Fry didn't answer, looking down at his hands and feeling completely ashamed.
The look Jonathan gave him was far worse than being sent to jail or murdered. It was the look that Fry had only seen him give to the guy who ran the orphanarium, the look that said "you're not doing a good job here." And it was that look alone that made him stand up and walk out of the house.
"Fry, where are you going?" Leela called him after him. He shut the door to their tiny home and ran down the street, just trying to get away. The brisk cold hair hit his face like small bullets, and it was the only real thing he could feel at the moment. Everythig just felt so completely hopeless. He felt numb, a feeling he hadn't felt in years.
He and Leela had worked on his depression since getting together and with her support, he'd thought that he had finally gotten through those feelings of worthlessness, but clearly, he'd been wrong. In just under a day, they were all rushing back, more powerful than ever.
Fry ran and ran until finally he reached the Planet Express building. Everyone had gone home for Xmas Eve and ever since the Chanukah Zombie had killed Robot Santa a few years back, there was no eminent threat to him – other than himself. Fry entered the building, passing the Professor's sleeping body on the couch and ran up the tower, until approaching the window's walk. He exited the place, standing on the balcony, overlooking the street beneath him.
He was done.
There was no point in anything anymore. He was probably going to die anyway, and when he did, their lack of income would cause Leela and the kids to go hungry. If he killed himself, the life insurance benefits would probably keep them fed. Leela would be much happier – she'd find some nice guy, maybe get married to him. The kids clearly all hated him too, they'd be better off without him. And it wasn't like any of his friends were going to miss him. He was just stupid old Fry to them.
"I love you, Leela. I love you, Yancy. I love you, Gracie. I love you, Jonathan," he muttered to himself, rubbing a tear off of his cheek as he moved to stand on top of the railing.
And then, as if out of a movie, a voice stopped him from going any further. "STOP!"
It was strong and familiar. Fry turned his head, to see Nibbler at his feet.
He groaned. "Go away, Nibbler. Can't you see I'm busy?"
"You're making a big mistake, Fry," the Nibblonian tugged at his jean until he moved away from the ledge.
"I'm making the right decision for once,"
"The right decision, huh? You really think killing yourself would help your family? Planet Express? Your friends?"
He shrugged. "Nobody needs me,"
"You're really sure that's true?"
"Yes," it was a definite answer, one that Fry had always feared was that right answer, but had never truly admitted to himself. He sure as hell didn't think he'd be admitting it to Nibbler, of all people.
Nibbler nodded and motioned for Fry to bend down to his level. He rolled his eyes and did as told, "You surely do not realize your importance to the universe, Fry,"
"What importance? I'm a delivery boy with nothing to offer the world," he lowered his head, trying to avoid crying.
"And I'm just one Nibblonian out of millions. We all think we are insignificant, but at the end of the day, certain things could not exist without us,"
The only person who Fry could think of who wouldn't exist without him was Yancy, and even then, surely his son didn't want to exist in this world. A world where he had less money and nice things than the rest of his friends and his one eye made him an outcast amongst everyone. Fry couldn't imagine being that age and having all those issues – sure, he'd been picked on and had no friends, but he hadn't been desperately poor or half mutant.
"Trust me. Nobody would miss me,"
Nibbler sighed. "Do you really believe life would be better without you, Fry? What if you had never existed at all? How about then?"
He practically laughed. "Well, that'd be much better. Then Leela wouldn't even have to remember how much pain I caused her,"
"What if I told you I could make that happen?"
Fry had always known that Leela's faithful pet had some strange abilities, but being able to make him disappear from history? That was something he never even could've imagined. Still, the thought seemed rather comforting. He certainly wasn't happy living. Maybe he'd be better off – and his family'd be better off – if he was never even born.
"Then I'd tell you to do it!"
Nibbler nodded. "Alright, then, I did it,"
"What? Really? Just like that?"
"Just like that,"
Fry looked down at himself. He was still there, exactly as was. It didn't look like anything had really changed. "You're lying! You didn't do anything!"
"Didn't I? Check your license,"
He pulled his wallet from his back pocket to see no money (which really didn't mean anything) and a simple piece of paper. "See! Right here! Philip J. Fr – hey, where's my name? Where's my picture?"
That's all it was. A piece of laminated paper, no name, no picture, no address, no anything.
"Gone. I told you – you've never existed. There is no Philip J. Fry,"
Author's Note: Hi friends! This is my Christmas president to you. Or Hannukah present. Or Kwanza present. Or whatever you celebrate present. Whatever you like! I hope you enjoy the beginning of this fic - I thought it would be perfect for Fry! Also, because Fry's memory was wiped when he saved the universe, this is not going the route of "nothing would exist without Fry" even though it wouldn't. Please review! xo
