Disclaimer: I do not own JSL

A/N: This idea hit me and I was quite intrigued by the plot in my head so I thought why not ship it out and see what happens. Read on.

Night of Bludhaven-prologue

Click...click

'Good afternoon Gotham...this is our news. Once again...'

The radio brought life in the silent room,slowly awareness was brought to the young man laying in the bed. Vision clearing, he looked at the read numbers on the small clock. Though the radio played he didn't move to turn it off his body almost felt to heavy to try to move.

His black draped down in front of his eyes his mind once more filling his head with images he wish he could erase. Too much...too much to deal with.

Suddenly a sharp ping came to life grabbing the attention of his ears...maybe it will go away if he ignored it but the sound was persistent. With great effort he raised himself up from the bed. Padding barefoot across the floor. We walked over to his dresser picking up the phone. Frowning at the bat symbol blinking on the screen. 'Not now. Not ready..can't.'

He reached up and clicked the off button. Tossing the phone in the draw. Running a hand over his face he walked into the bathroom. Turning on the light he made his way over to the sink. Reaching over to turn the tap on he paused. As his mind wouldn't let the images stop. Looking up in the mirror a memory flashed behind his eyes of this same bathroom. Shower so hot that steam filled the small space.

Shaking his head he closed his eyes and forced himself to get himself together. Turning the water on he put his hands under the tap raising a pocket of water to splash against his face. He swallowed hard as each pass of water brought painful reminders.

When he dried his face he once more looked at the mirror. Spider web cracks spread haphazardly along the once smooth surface. Diverting his eyes from his reflection he looked down at the floor were blood stained towels lay in a pile behind the door.

Picking them up he tossed them in the laundry hamper. No...just. He felt the familiar pain of anxiety begin to settle deep in his chest. Taking a few deep breaths he entered into his room once more. He simply reached into the dresser drawers and numbly picked up his clothes.

After getting dressed. He came into the kitchen. The thought of eating actually made him sick. Looking at his watch he sighed. You can do it...out the door and work. He cane over to the coffee table reaching for his keys and badge.

He then froze as he looked at the badge in his hand BPD. The symbolism behind it brought pang of dread and guilt. Then with a surge of anger he threw it across the room. The force sent it smashing into a wood box that sat a the shelf. Blinking he calmed himself... 'Relax, Grayson, relax.'

After a moment he walked over to the small messing squatting down he picked up the box. Running hand over it he opened it then halted at the sight before him. Picking up the small black case tears stung his eyes. Bringing the back of his hand to rest at his mouth he fought the emotion back but in doing so he collapsed against the floor.

'How...how can he do this? He...can't do this! Oh..god.'

His heart was thudding so hard in his chest he physically raised his hand to his chest.

'Breathe...breathe..Breathe.'

Then it hit him. A thought that he never would imagine would grace his mind. How comforting the idea of not if he simply stopped breathing ...that was enticing to say the least.

Suddenly a knock sounded on his door. Almost numb he listened again and seconds later another knock followed by a voice.

"Hey, Grayson are you in there?"

Breaking out of his haze he scrambled up off the floor gathering the mess together. Quickly placing the box back on the shelf. He glanced around him, his eyes landing on the badge he picked it up. Striding over to the door. Reaching out he unlatched the door. Opening it a crack he looked out to see his partner standing in front of him.

She smiled. "Hey, are you ready?"

"For?"

She cocked an eyebrow. "We have to address the new recruits? Orders from the commissioner...remember you volunteered happily. To my dismay."

"oh...Listen Karen I am taking some sick days. I have a good few weeks coming toward me that I need to take off. So..."

"Seriously baling on me?! You know I hate public speaking."

"I'm really sorry just get someone else ok?"

The brunette frowned slightly. "Won't you let me in at least?"

"Unless you want to be down for the count in a day or two. Not pretty. Trust me."

She sighed. "Alright, but you so owe me one. And get better soon. Bludhaven needs you Dick Grayson."

"Thanks."

The woman nodded before leaving. Closing the door Dick leaned his head against it. The way he saw it Bludhaven could just burn to the ground. He'd be perfectly fine with that.

'Time...You just need time.'

Dick laughed at that very thought. Knowing full well...that was a lie, but it was comforting none the less.

A/N: This is ANGST pure unbridled angst. If you like this genre then hotdog you're in for a treat. :)

worth reviewing? Like me to continue?

FC27