-Last Seed, 18th, 4E 201-

"Let me get this straight" I started while eating my hard earned treat. "You want me to go to the world of Skyrim with no abilities, no backup, and no incentive besides the fact that you are bored?"

"Yep" Says the thin- I mean, the most beautiful, sexy and intelligent female I know, who just happens to be able to glimpse at my thoughts in the most inopportune moments. "What do you say?"

"I refuse" clearly, the only sane response to any of her requests. Unfortunately it is for naught, as I can count the times I have succesfully deflected her attempts at making me do something I do not want to with one hand. And spare fingers. "You are always bored, suck it up. And why the restrictions? Don't you usually want to change things the most? Canon divergence and all that?"

"Because-" she gulps the cake she was munching on "-you always do the same. Curb stomp your enemies, break some minds, and play the hero. It's funny but repetitive. You are too impersonal, too quick and meticulous. So I figured your creative side would float to the surface with some restrictions. And stop trying to take my cake!"

I rub my sore hand, veteran to the hits of the dreaded spoon of DOOM. "If you just want handicapped entertainment then send some of your damm followers. And who bought that cake in the first place?!"

"My 'damm followers' are either fanatical, evil or mad. Anybody else I could send would fight me all the story"

"And I won't fight you?" I send her my most incredulous stare.

"You will, but you won't keep looking over your shoulder all the time, trying to anticipate all my actions and/or amassing power just to try to kill me. We can dish each other casually with no repercussions. Besides-" she interrupts herself, bringing the spoon to her mouth, teasingly licking it all over, grin in her face and lust in her eyes "-I can make it worth your time"

She shifts over the table, her small body not making any noise, to the point of feeling completely unnatural. Her smirk grows once she reaches my cushion, straddling me and putting the still warm spoon in my mouth, her deep red eyes just a few centimeters apart from mine. Her cold breath sending shivers through my body.

Man, I have it bad.

One make-out session later.

"If I am gonna accede to this" I commence once I get some breath. "I want a boon, nothing game-breaking, but some edge would be nice" I say quickly before she interrupts me.

She frowns cutely for a moment and jumps off my lap. "Very well. I'll let you have one mod. I'll decide if it's fair or not"

So one mod uh? For the record, while I have played a lot of Skyrim I don't have all the details fresh, nor I have a lot of modding experience. The few I have used are mostly immersion ones, which are going to be useless in this situation. So after a round of inner debate, outer debate and a pizza fight we settled on a mod and got it approved.

"Everyone to Skyrim, make a line in front of me!" cheers my companion. "Let's go through the rules one last time" Oh boy

"Every non-passive ability is blocked unless I say so" So no one

"The mod accorded upon will be activated the moment you get in the world" Yeah, I guess

"An extremely light Gamer interface. Almost non-existent" Why bother then?!

"You have to complete at least the three 'main' questlines, canon divergence is encouraged" Here it comes-

"I reserve the right to interfere and putting you in awkward, weird, inopportune, or dangerous situations if I determine events parallel canon too much" Ah, there it is, the threat.

"And most importantly" I sense regret incoming

"You get me!" cue a cutesy twirl "as a constant companion" Ah, there it is, the regret - OUCH

"Any questions before departure? No? Then let's proceed"

A black portal suddenly manifests itself in the center of the room.

Just where the table was.

"You are gonna pay for that table"

"Do you accept M*sterC*rd?"

- AN -

So, here it is, my first proper try with fanfiction. Weirdly enough I never tought I would start with an attempt with TES universe, I had plans for either Love Live or MHA, but this thing wrote itself the moment I was trying some mods for journaling.

Basically I'm trying to emulate an Isekai, while mirroring the events with the playthrough I just started. This is gonna have a focus in the humor and relationship with the characters, so if you came here expecting awesome battles you are gonna be dissapointed.

None of these characters are truly SI. One is a watered-down interpretation of a known character, and the other is an OC with no resemblance to my actual person.

If you came here with an alert (though I doubt it) and were expecting an Spanish fic and/or don't recognize me don't worry, you probably followed me more than 5 years ago after my unsuccessful vocaloid attempt. Tough I swear this time I'm gonna finish this one.

Lastly, by know it should be obvious that english is not my first language, so critique is encouraged.