MERRY CHRISTMAS Y2k4
by mentaru
rated PG13 (because it's meant for those who can understand the perverted-ness behind it)
disclaimer I don't own Juvenile Orion. I think that's obvious, though. Gah.
summary Um. Pervertedness. Kaname and Itsuki. Christmas. Fluff at end. Humor.
a/n This fic randomly came to me, and I thought it was a very amusing idea, and so it is this year's installment of mentaru's Merry Christmas. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
.: Merry Christmas :.
"Hey, Kaname," Itsuki said, prodding his best friend in the arm, "aren't those a little old?"
Kaname stared over at Itsuki. "No, I just bought them yesterday. They'll be good for a while, Itsuki."
Itsuki looked at what Kaname held in his hands and gave him a doubtful look. "If you say so. They just look fragile, is all."
"I guess we'll find out when we put them on, then, eh?"
"I guess, but, they're kind of ugly, Kaname."
"Who cares what they look like?"
"I do!"
"Why?"
"I don't know. It's the girly side coming out of me I suppose."
"You're stranger than I thought you were, Itsuki. Caring so much about what something looks like …" Kaname shook his head.
.: Merry Christmas :.
"Kaname!" Itsuki whined. "It won't go in!"
"You're not pushing hard enough, then, Itsuki."
"No, I am, the hole's just not – big enough!" He grunted, pushing harder.
"Oh, come on Itsuki. I know you're not that wimpy. Push harder!"
"But I did, Kaname! It just won't go in!"
"Keep pushing then! We don't have all day!"
Itsuki pushed even harder than before. "It's still not going in, Kaname! I tell you, the hole's not damn big enough!"
"How can the hole not be big enough!"
"How the hell should I know! All I know is that it's – just – not – going – in!"
"Fine," Kaname sighed, getting irritated with his friend's failure, "I guess we'll just come back to this, then. Come on, we've got other things to do."
.: Merry Christmas :.
"Ooh, Kaname, can I lick it? Please?"
"No."
"But why not?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Because I said so."
"Well, can I at least touch it, then?"
"Why?"
"Coz I wanna see how the gooey-ness feels."
"Haven't you felt 'the gooey-ness' before?"
"No. I wasn't this privileged before I met you."
Kaname proceeded to roll his eyes at the one who he called his best friend.
.: Merry Christmas :.
"Where did you say you wanted this, Kaname?"
"Are you really that stupid?"
"Yes."
"Up."
"You don't have to be Mr. Vague."
"I shouldn't have had to tell you. How many times have we done this?"
"Only twice. Jeez."
"It should have been obvious, though."
"Yeah, well, I'm inexperienced with these things."
"But if we've done this twice, you should know what to do."
"I'm very forgetful, okay?"
"Obviously. But, really Itsuki, it's so obvious …!"
Itsuki grumbled. "Oh, shut up."
.: Merry Christmas :.
Seven o'clock. They were done. Kaname and Itsuki had successfully managed to put lights up around the house, decorate the tree, make gingerbread cookies, and hang mistletoe from the ceiling. Now all they needed were guests.
"Kusakabe-kun! Itsuki-kun!" Amou called out to his two friends thirty minutes later, the house now bustling with other guests. "Great party! Thanks for inviting me!"
The two best friends came over to Amou, both glad he made it. "No problem, Amou," Kaname said. "Glad you made it."
Itsuki swung his arm around Kaname's shoulder, much to Kaname's mock dislike. "Took us forever, but we finally got it done. We had fun, didn't we Kaname?"
Kaname gave Itsuki an annoyed 'get-your-arm-off-me' kind of look. Amou giggled at Itsuki's flamboyant flirting and Kaname's bad job at hiding that he liked it.
"Great fun, Itsuki, great fun," Kaname said sarcastically.
"I'm glad you two got to spend even more time with each other than normal," Amou said cheerfully, absentmindedly looking up and around. "Look!" he said, pointing up at the ceiling. "Mistletoe!" And to Kaname and Itsuki's great surprise, they were standing (conveniently) right under the mistletoe.
"Come on you two!" Amou chirped. "Kiss! It's the rule of the mistletoe!"
Itsuki removed his arm from Kaname's shoulder. "Well, buddy, we can't deny the almighty power of the mistletoe. Ki –"
Kaname, however, cut his friend off in the middle of what he was saying, kissing Itsuki firm on the lips.
Amou squealed like a overjoyed yaoi fangirl.
Kaname pulled away and looked at a very shocked-looking Itsuki.
"Hot damn, Kaname," Itsuki breathed. "Warn me before you go and kiss me like that!"
Kaname shrugged, and Amou just then heard his name being called, so he departed, leaving Kaname and Itsuki still standing under the mistletoe.
"Itsuki, you really need to stop smoking. Or I'm never kissing you again."
Itsuki frowned at Kaname, crossing his arms. "Oh shut up, Kaname."
"Either that," Kaname continued, "or get some breath spray. I hear that they sell some quite nice mint flavored ones …"
"Would you shut up already!"
Kaname smirked. "No."
"Ugh! Why am I attracted to you again?"
Kaname shrugged. "Maybe because I can do this –" And Itsuki, yet again, was surprised at how astonishingly well Kaname could kiss.
Kaname pulled away. "Satisfied?"
Itsuki nodded. "Hell yeah. I'll get to breaking that habit right away …." And, with that, Itsuki pulled out a box of cigarettes he had had in his jeans pocket and threw it in the trash that was conveniently placed near them.
"And, that, Kaname, shall be my Christmas present to you: quitting smoking. Merry Christmas, Kana-chan!"
"Itsuki, don't call me that."
"Why not? It's cute!"
"It's stupid."
"So? I'm stupid."
"This is true …"
"Hey! You're not supposed to agree with me!"
"But it's true, Itsuki."
Itsuki stuck his tongue out at Kaname in frustration. Kaname laughed and kissed Itsuki again, knowing it would probably "make him feel all better."
"Merry Christmas, Itsuki."
O W A R I
a/n Well, how was it? Was it funny? Stupid? Please review and tell me! Thanks, and I hope to be getting some chapters up for my other fics soon. Hope you had fun reading! (And don't miss out on next year's installment!)
