Title: Feeling Numb (1/1)
Author: granger2malfoy
Pairing: More Draco-centric, but some hints of d/hr
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: Not mine
Warning: Spoilers to HBP and not betad.
A/N: Yes, I just had to write my opinion of Draco's thought the night after that night at Lighting Tower. Inspired by Linkin Park's Numb.
Summary: Draco was now a Death Eater, like his father wanted, but why was he feeling so numb.
The lighting crashed in the background as the rain slowly began to leak from the sky. A figure stood on the edge of a cliff as the breaking of the waves on the rocks below mesmerized his eyes. His head hurt so much as some many things flashed in his mind and his soul felt broken by all the emotions that were overflowing like an active volcano but had just finished boiling over. Now, he felt numb.
In his right hand, his one true symbol of a wizard was gripped so tightly that it was threatening to break. A hard throb of his left side reminded him of the lesson he was given from his master. He had lost count of how many Crucio's he felt for not succeeding in his mission and blowing the cover for his Head of House. Yes, Draco had made up for his father's failure and his own but still he had much more to prove. The brand on his left arm was still fresh but it still arched from the burning feeling. He had been pushed so far, so much that he was numb.
His father had told him that he would feel powerful and strong to be a Death Eater but that was no where near he felt at the moment. Lucius had told him countless times how proud he would be when his son was man enough to join his side of the war. But he felt like running and hiding for the rest of the world. It was much scarier place than he had ever imagined. His father told him that he would feel glory being surrounded by fellow brothers of the dark side. Brothers that laughed as he suffered from the pain from the Dark Lord's wand. The only person to help pick him up was Snape. The person he had pushed away all year and the same person he had accused of trying to steal his glory. Draco's hair fell into his eyes as he saw the pain in his godfather's eyes as he turned to him after killing the fool of a Headmaster. There was so much to the world that he didn't understand and was finding himself swept into a rapid body of water without any hope of reaching a safe shore.
The flash of the lightening lighted up his silver eyes as he brushed the rain off his face but it only got wet a second later as the rain continued to pour down. His father had been wrong about how he would feel as a Death Eater. His father was wrong about the war being black and white, as he wanted to run at the sight of blood on that werewolf's mouth. His father had told him the mudblood were worthless because he saw one of the Death Eaters fall at the point of Granger's hex. They had locked eyes as he was pulled away by the Potions Master but it was only for a second as another cloaked figure hurled another spell at her.
Heavy drops of rain continued to fall around him, as he was not sure what he was going to do. He had no idea how he was supposed to feel and had no were to go. Because every time he took a step in the path that his father had laid out for him, Draco became less like himself and more like his father. But his father was locked up in prison and had made so many mistakes that he was hiding out there because his fear for what the Master would do to make him pay for those mistakes. Why couldn't be easy? Why couldn't he go back to worrying about Scarhead beating him on the Quidditch pitch? Why does that image of Granger standing over a fallen Death Eater make him want her? Why did he have to feel so numb?
The End
