1

Scott had just returned from a rescue in Indonesia, it had been a gruelling one with him and Virgil airlifting causalities from a Tsunami that had ripped through the costal resorts and villages. Whole communities had been decimated and death toll was heavy, natural disasters were the worst – how do you fight Mother Nature? You had to accept that you couldn't save everyone and concentrate on the ones you could. Still that didn't stop your heart filling with sorrow for the ones that didn't make it – the families they left behind… Scott shook his head in a poor attempt to flush the memories away. He unhooked the clipboard off the side and completed his post flight checks and restocked the first aid kits before jumping out of the cockpit and heading through the revolving door to his home. Here he resided with his father, four brothers, grandmother and their father's friends. Scott was not looking forward to the debriefing that came after the rescue; he was tired, emotionally exhausted and hungry.

He stepped out happy to see that the living room was empty; he was still in his damp and muddy uniform but desperately needed a drink before scrubbing up. He had left his boots in the silo so he didn't spread mud through the house, but his father would still have something to say if he caught his son in uniform. He hurried through past the Portraits of him and his brothers, the brown sofas that faced his father's desk and into the kitchen but paused when he heard his grandmother. He had stopped because she was talking quietly but he could tell she was distressed.

"Look, please stop calling and writing…." There was another pause as a person that Scott assumed was on the end of the phone spoke.

"I told you I don't want to know! We both know that there is nothing that can be done, it's too far gone and I want to enjoy the time that I….I have left". She held back a sob. Another pause.

"No I will not reconsider, now good bye!" Scott heard the phone slam on the counter. He came around the corner and saw her collapsed against the wall, silent tears streaming down her face.

"Grandma!" Scott ran over and gently lifted her up into his arms, she looked horrified and tried to hastily swipe the tears away.

"Here". Scott guided her to a kitchen chair and grabbed a box of tissues before crouching in front of her, his aching joints protested but he ignored it. He had never seen his grandmother like this and it worried him more than he would admit.

"Now what was that all about?"

"Oh it's nothing to concern yourself with dear…"

"Grandma" he gave her his best I don't believe you tone and gaze. He waited patiently on his haunches and held her hand in his.

"Scott if I tell you, it will only bring you sadness and that's not what I want for you, or your father and brothers. Please don't make me tell you, I just want to forget about it, go and get changed and then maybe you can have some of the apple pie I've just baked, your filthy!" She gazed absent mind idly behind Scott at the counter praying that he would just say yes, but she knew her eldest grandson was not so easily swayed, especially when it came to family matters.

Scott looked her directly in the eye. "Grandma, What ever it is I can tell it is tearing you apart, let me help". he pleaded.

She took a deep breath and looked directly at him "Scott I am afraid that no matter how hard you try, I can't be helped". Her voice was so calm and resolute; it chilled Scott to the core.

"I have cancer Scott, real bad. The doctors say they can try these new fangled treatments but this far gone, it would take a miracle to cure or even treat and I don't want the treatment Scott. I don't want to be trapped in hospital on the mainland, I want to be here with you all and to live right up until the last minute – not waste away trying to clutch on to the time I may have left. Can you see that from my point of view?".

Scott was having a hard time processing the information, his hand had become loose in her grip and he hadn't even noticed fully dropping to his knees. He was already racking his brains for the best doctor, that treatment he heard on the news last month; he could stay on the mainland with her for her treatment – because Scott's first instinct was always to save, to problem solve in order to save someone. There simply must be something he could do! But then he looked up into her eyes already aware that too much time had passed and what he saw was almost enough to break him. Her eyes said she knew what he was thinking, it also showed him her decision was final; this is what she wanted… his stubbornness came from somewhere after all he thought. He had to be strong for her. He swallowed looked at her and gulped again, his voice tried to break but he willed himself on.

"Grandma, if this…if this is what you want then that's not ok but I understand. I know you must be so scared right now! If there is anything, anything I can do for you I will. I want you to know that you can talk to me." He paused. "Good days or bad I will be right here ok?"

She nodded "I know, you always were a good boy." She smiled and he smiled back willing his mouth not to twitch with the sadness and despair that swirled around him like a heavy fog. He was blinded with the emotional pain and the physical punch he could swear he could feel deep down in his stomach.

"Who else knows Grandma?"

"No one Scott and I don't want them too, especially not your Father – he won't understand and I don't want to worry him, or have him afraid of when the time will come." She looked down at her hands.

Scott spoke gently. "Grandma, I think that if it is as bad as you say it is, you need to tell them, they will find out eventually – especially Gordon he knows when things aren't right. They will be so shocked otherwise and more upset. Dad needs to know. I know you are worried after mom died but he would want to be there for you Grandma, he wouldn't forgive himself for allowing you to go through this on your own."

"I don't know Scott, I don't want him to put his life on hold for me and he's got enough to worry about with you boys!"

Scott stood up, using the counter for support. "Ok well just think about it for me and I will ask you again in a couple of days but don't feel pressured. In the meantime I want you to let Tin Tin help you more in here and you are to rest a little more, keep your grandsons entertained - especially Alan if you can keep him busy I would be eternally grateful!"

She swatted him playfully with a tea towel "Oh Scott, you are mean to him sometimes!" She smiled.

He grinned back "He deserves it! The youngest are always the most troublesome and you know how hot headed he can be!"

"Go on, get out of here before your father sees you in that uniform and take this apple pie and coffee!"

He gave her a peck on the cheek and began to exit – "Scott?"

He stopped.

"Thank you".

He kept his shoulders high but didn't turn back; the tears that had been burning at the corners of his eyes now flowed freely.