"Miko-sama, you have been such a blessing to this village," the headmaster said.
"It is nothing. Merely my duty," Kagome replied offhandedly.
"Most of our younger priestess have retired and then settled down. You have not. What are your plans?" he asked.
"Hiroshi-sama, I am the Shikon no Miko. Since the defeat of Naraku, who once plagued the entire country, including your own village, I have become one with the jewel. My duty is to the people as ordained by kami," she answered, her voice monotone.
"I understand that, Miko-sama, however you are sad and it is disturbing. I will divulge that the young men in the village have inquired about you. They wish for your hand in marriage," Hiroshi explained, running a hand through his gray hair.
"I am flattered, but I am not interested. I am immortal. It has been over two hundred years and I have not aged one day. It would do no good to pair with one who still has ties with time. Please be sure to divert all interested from me. There are maidens in the village who will satisfy their needs to settle down and have a family," she said.
"Very well, my lady," the village leader bowed, and then left her hut.
Kagome sighed and returned to stirring her stew. It was a stew she learned from Kaede in the past and it brought back memories at times.
*** FLASHBACK ***
"I smell Naraku and he is coming
in fast. He brought his damn horde of demons too," Inu Yasha
growled. "Pay attention everyone!" Over the nearby
mountain, the sky darkened and spread as it approached the Inu-
tachi. Sango readied her Haraikotsu and put her game face on. Kagome
reached for an arrow and nocked it in her bow, ready to fire it. Inu
Yasha drew out Tetsusaiga, transforming the blade into its behemoth
form. Miroku clenched his staff, eager to battle Naraku. Each
had their hopes. They all wanted Naraku's reign of terror to
end. Kagome could feel the strong pull of the larger portion
of the Shikon no Tama approaching and concentrated on calling it.
Kaede had been helping her practice on trying to call the shards. It
had worked some, and even helped her retrieve ones that Naraku had
gifted to youkai in order to detroy the group of shard hunters. "Ku
ku ku, well, a perfect day to get rid of my foe and complete the
jewel," Naraku's silky voice echoed over the group. "Fucking
bastard! You'll be the one dying!" Inu Yasha yelled. He
was visibly eager to dash into the fight, but keeping himself back.
Inu Yasha could not afford to act so rashly as he had in the past.
Too many clashes with Naraku and his incarnations had taught him to
have a little bit of patience. Though Naraku no longer had many of
his stronger incarnations, the makeshift hanyou had a vast collection
of demons writhing inside his body waiting to get out and destroy
anything at his command. The air was tainted with miasma, but
not as thick as the Inu- tachi had faced in the past. 'It
stings the eyes and made the throat a tad dry,' Kagome thought as
she looked out onto the area that she anticipated would be the final
battle. The miasma made the naturally pleasant day hazy, even
disturbing the clouds to becoming an angry dark grey, bordering a
stormy grey colour usually associated by harsh weather. Only
inches from her, a clawed hand loosely gripped a rusty katana. She
knew that katana by heart, as she had been the first to wield it
since its original master. 'Tetsusaiga.' A few more
feet away laid Inu Yasha's torso. It was half clothed. It seemed
that the gaudy red fire rat haori had given up its regenerative
features with its master's passing. Kagome could see that both his
legs were torn from the hip and she did not know whether to vomit or
to kill herself. His head had been taken clear off from the base of
the neck. She was in a state of numbness, unable to decide, but able
to take in the horrid scene. When she turned her head, she
came face to face with Inu Yasha's glazed over eyes, signaling that
he was beyond anyone's reach, even the possibility of Sesshoumaru
piecing him together and using Tenseiga. He had used it on an otter
demon before, but Kagome was certain he would be adamant against
reviving his own half brother. 'And Inu Yasha wouldn't
have wanted to be revived. He wanted to die with honor.' Kagome
sobbed, looking at Inu Yasha's dead face. His glazed over amber
eyes still in a set for determination as if he were still protecting
her. She gathered his head to her bosom, unable to become nauseous
because his blood oozed over her arms. She rocked to and fro, as if
consoling the dead inu hanyou's head. "I'm so sorry, Inu
Yasha. I'm so sorry," she said and kept repeating as the tears
poured over her cheeks and onto his head. She did not even
know she was crying. She barely even registered that she was holding
Inu Yasha's head. She felt as if she was having an outer body
experience. As she kept rocking, she looked for her other
companions. They were not any farther away than Inu Yasha had been.
They had always been so protective of her, knowing that her only
defense was the bow, arrows, and her holy powers. 'Pathetic
old me. Always needing protection. A burden, yet a tool for a means
to an end. Yes, that is what I am.' She had built a wall of
denial thinking that she had contributed fairly to the group, but
when she really thought about it, all she did was maintain the camp
each evening and point out the shards. Sango's face had
been clearly scraped off by something and Kagome did not want to
guess. The veins and muscles were clearly visible as well all her
bulbous mahogany colored eyes. 'She had been so brave like a
real life Super girl.' Miroku was nowhere to be seen, but
there was a visible crater nearby. Naraku had always had the trump
card when it came to the wind tunnel, and he had pulled it, slapped
it down on the battlefield, and then let Miroku suck himself into an
infinite abysmal void. Shippou also was nowhere to be seen.
She had insisted that he stay back in Edo, but Shippou has hidden
himself in her knapsack and appeared when they were encroached upon
by Naraku and his demon horde. 'Probably devoured by some
lowly oni. I am such a screw up. I can't even be a proper mother to
an orphaned kitsune.' She picked up Tetsusaiga and carried
Inu Yasha's head in her arms. She could not find disgust in holding
his severed head. With the rusty katana, she tried to dig a hole, but
was unsuccessful. The ground was hard and a bit on the dry side.
Plus, she was weak from exhaustion. 'I can't do anything
right.' She slumped to the ground once more. This time, the
tears finally made their way to her eyes and in a torrent, rushed
over her tanned cheeks. 'We worked so hard. How could they
have all died like this? Even in death, they would have deserved
something better. I thought my own father's death hurt me deeply,
but this surpasses that many times over. How can it hurt so much?
They gave their life for this jewel and to protect me, but I don't
deserve it.' She was exhausted and fell forward from her
sitting position. 'So tired. So very very tired.' As
she closed her eyes, she noticed a shadow over her. She willed her
sleep away, but could not bring her spiritual senses to determine who
it was. She rolled over, albeit with difficulty. Above her
stood the pristine demon lord himself, Sesshoumaru. He was looking
down at her without expression. Kagome could not determine whether he
was disgusted with her and at that moment, too exhausted to even
care. "Onna, you will explain what happened," Sesshoumaru
demanded. He did know that the miko was exhausted and possibly
hanging by a thread of sanity. He could see his half brother's head
in her arms, as well as the Tetsusaiga. He could also smell death
heavily not far away, including her companions. It was disturbing to
see her lying like this on the ground. He did though have something
that she would possibly be happy about, but he would not give it to
her until she told him. "Naraku is dead. At the cost of my
companions and many of our friends and allies, that evil man is no
more. If you want Tetsusaiga, you can have it. I know you and Inu
Yasha were never close, but it should stay with family," she said,
trying to stay awake, though her vision was blurry and filled with
dark spots. "Hn. Very well. You have the thanks of this
Sesshoumaru for ridding the lands of Nippon from that vile hanyou. My
little brother has gained honor and I will retrieve his body to bury
it. For your companions, I will send servants to bury them with honor
and hire a priest to bless their burial grounds. As for Tetsusaiga,
keep it. This Sesshoumaru does not want for it. Lastly, here is
something I found that belongs to you. He is roughed up, but he will
heal fine," the tall demon lord said, then handed her something she
thought had been devoured. 'Shippou! He's alive!
Yokatta!' "I owe you a lot, my lord," Kagome smiled,
bringing Shippou close to her body. The smile did not reach
her eyes, yet her soul was awash with the fact that her little boy
was alive. Her eyes though sad, were somewhat blank and it disturbed
him. He had seen many battles, but he knew the priestess far more to
not consider her a stranger anymore to himself. She had not
expected the stoic demon lord to share so many meaningful words with
her. She thought he did not have a compassionate bone in his demonic
body, but yet again, the enigmatic lord surprised her. She smiled and
let her sleep overtake her, confident that Sesshoumaru would at least
make sure she and the Shikon no Tama was safe. Sesshoumaru
noticed as soon as she had secured the kitsune to her side that she
had given into her exhaustion. 'Very well, I will send
someone to come get her and heal her. It is I who owe her.' He
noticed that in one of the hands clutching Shippou that the cursed
jewel was glowing brightly. He was not sure what to do, whether to
step closer and pry her hand open or to leave her be. He decided it
was best that he leave her be as the jewel had never been an ambition
he had ever considered to pursue obtaining. Kagome whispered,
"Arigatou."
She was at a
loss for words. She was kneeling on the ground, covered in blood and
pieces of organs from both ningen and youkai. Around her for what
seemed miles were bodies; whole, or parts of, but nevertheless, they
were there. All she could do was stare. The bodies closer to her were
familiar, but right now, her brain simply could not produce a valid
thought. Though the outcome was technically a victory considering she
was holding the whole Shikon no Tama, so much more had been lost than
even she had imagined. It seemed her brain had frozen like a computer
screen on an older processor, so she blinked and it seemed that her
coherency rebooted. Slowly, but nevertheless, everything became more
vivid, and… more morbid.
**END FLASHBACK ***
'Sesshoumaru had brought us to the nearest village and the local priestess healed both Shippou and I. When we both recovered, Sesshoumaru said he would leave. However, before he could, Shippou begged him to train him to be a warrior. Although I wanted to keep Shippou with me, I knew that keeping him would not make him happy. He wanted to become a strong and honorable demon, so I let him go. That is when the jewel had become one with me. I had also not seen Shippou since that day. It still hurts that I have nothing familiar in my life. The well is closed and this life, even though I have become use to it, still seems so strange. It is like some lucid dream that I would wake up and be in my pink sheets and Buyo would be on top of me. Alas, it is not that way. Heh, I am even starting to sound like the villagers with my manner of speech.'
She sighed and ventured to her hut.
'It is time to leave again. I have stayed here far longer than the other villages and need to be on my way to my goal.'
Her eyes dulled again from the pain. It washed over and through her like a torrent of rain in a monsoon. Sometimes she rebelled against it, and sometimes she welcomed it. She left the village without a word and headed south. After a while, she hit rugged terrain trudging up the steep incline of the mountains practically splitting the island Honshu in half. She was traveling from Sendai. Her destination was Kyoto. She traveled because she had one goal: to die.
She was tired of living. It had been two hundred years since the defeat of Naraku. It had been two hundred years since the well had been destroyed. It had been two hundred years since her friends had perished in the battle against the vile hanyou. It had been two hundred years since the jewel fused with her. It had been two hundred years since she last seen her little Shippou.
The jewel had been a nuisance. She could not die. The legendary artifact made her impervious to anything, including herself. For the first few years after the fusing, she had tried to kill herself each night. And each morning, the very blood that fell to the ground or even into a hot spring, somehow her body sucked it back up. She gave up, and just journeyed, finding a way to try to cope with each passing moment. She had tried all sorts of creative ways to commit suicide, from traditionally hanging herself to even throwing herself from a cliff.
Eventually she forgot how to smile. Eventually she forgot how to be happy. Every day was monotonous, her body merely robotic in its actions. She traveled, she healed the sick and injured, and she fought mindless youkai. She forgot herself, becoming the husk of Kagome, and enveloping herself with the façade known as the Shikon no Miko.
Every time she looked into a copper plated mirror or even a stream, she saw her predecessor, Kikyo. The only thing different was her greyish- blue eyes and the voluminously wavy and luscious blue- black locks. A gaunt and haunted woman always stared back at her, more so, a woman without expression. Although she was energetic, Kagome could feel in her soul her tiredness. It was like she knew she was in her body, but her mind was so numb that it felt outside and a few feet away. Or when she felt morbidly humorous, she compared it with taking NyQuil and trying to operate soberly through the day.
Near Sendai, she had found a sorceress who had told her how she could find her end. Although the solution was gruesome, Kagome did not care. She had been a mortal that was not intended for immortality. The jewel had extended her life and given her powers that she had never wanted.
The sorceress had told her to seek the Western Lord and he had the solution to all of her problems. The Western Lord was still Sesshoumaru. Although Kagome had not seen him in a couple decades, she was on fair terms with the enigmatic demon lord. However, she was not exactly keen to the idea of visiting the demon lord. She wondered if his dokkasou would be the solution to her problem. She almost smiled at the thought. She had been up close to his fearsome poison and even been covered in it at one time. However, she had the Tetsusaiga's barrier protecting her from Sesshoumaru's attack. She wondered if the Shikon would let him kill her.
As she journeyed, she mulled the thought over and over, deliberating until her head was throbbing. It was the only thing she thought about and she knew that at one time in her life, it would have been a scary thought. However, she was past all flowery emotions. She almost grinned madly at the thought of her own demise. She did not believe a mortal was ever made to be immortal. It was a cruel and singular life to live. She had tried to make some friendly ties in her early years, but after the anguish of seeing them grow old and die, it took a toll, adding to the numbness.
Although she could not remember exactly where she saw or read it, she compared her existence to a god who saw the ugliness in humanity. Instead of seeing a beautiful mortal child, she imagined it was a walking rotting corpse. She had nightmares in the past when she had come to that comparison and had even gotten sick repeatedly, as it felt too true.
She wondered if youkai felt the way she did about mortals. She wondered if that was true, then how did some of those youkai bridge the gap and couple with mortals without becoming disgusted. She wondered if hanyou felt that way, or perhaps because they were half of each, they were oblivious. She wondered if the world seemed to fade away, nothing enjoyable.
Kagome considered herself the oldest virgin alive. It did not bother her, but it was one of the most humorous things she convinced herself of when things got boring. She knew she was not undesirable, as she closely resembled Kikyo. She had heard for the past couple centuries of how she was beautiful. However, their words did not give her a thrill. She really had never been vain. She had been proposed to more than a couple dozen times, turning each one down. She did not turn the men down cruelly. She did it with careful words to make each understand her plight. She even had gotten Kouga to stop hounding her to become his mate. He had finally mated Ayame as he had promised, although he had been reluctant. He had been the most difficult suitor to get off her back. It was mostly because they shared a deep past, and Kouga could only see her as a powerful woman to further along his pack. It had actually taken four decades to get him to stop pursuing her. She had questioned him to think deeply on why she had refused him all these years. Finally, Kouga had grown serious and admitted that he knew that she had no romantic feelings for her, but had hoped that his perseverance would eventually win her over. When he stated that he would stop, he also wished her the best, even reinforcing the fact that she was a sister of his pack.
Kagome had not seen or visited Kouga's den in seventy years. She had already become reclusive by then and it was hard to see friendly faces, reminding her of all the other friends she had lost.
