There were no words left unspoken. No cases in the back of their minds. For the very first time it was just them and them alone. Kate never really thought she could feel at home anywhere but New York City but then she found a new love, Paris. It was everything she hoped it to be; the people, the food, the atmosphere… everything. It wasn't like she didn't miss her family, their family, but she liked the seclusion for once. Sure it was a bit selfish of her but she liked the fact that she didn't have to worry about Martha barging all the time just as she was about to make love to her husband. The lingering nightmares though, those were still very present and not just for her, but Castle too. Luckily they had each other as support system after they'd gone through some extensive therapy, trying to rebuild their lives. The shooting had triggered her PTSD and it was tough at times but the big difference this time around was that she now had Castle at her side. She wasn't alone anymore.
Kate sighed. She had a nightmare again. Not a really bad one this time but bad enough for her to wake up in cold sweats. She had looked to her right at her peacefully sleeping husband and even though she normally woke him up after a nightmare so he could encage her in his big strong arms, kiss her neck and mumble that everything was fine, that she was safe, that everything was over, something stopped her from doing it that night and instead she got out of bed and pulled on her favorite black leggings and her husband's flannel, that was deliciously big and comfy, and tiptoed to their idyllic little kitchen where she made herself a cup of tea hoping it would calm her down.
The place was dark, every light blocked by the heavy curtains, but never silent. Castle had bought them a gorgeous apartment at one of the busiest streets of Paris; it was far from big but just perfect for the two of them. She didn't even want to know how much it must have cost them as Castle insisted that the price didn't matter, the only thing mattered was that she loved it and that it felt like home.
The tea was yet too hot to drink but the warmth of her mug, her beloved 'K' mug that she had brought with her from New York, pleasantly warmed her hands as she slowly walked to one of the windows, the curtains screeching as she opened them, filling up the apartment with the city lights. It was four in the morning but people were walking through the streets like it was midday. Busy as ever.
She nursed her tea mug, the steam warming her upper lip and nose. Sure, it wasn't her beloved coffee but she really came to appreciate the more subtle taste of the tea and of course the lack of caffeine kept her from being up all night.
"Kate," she suddenly heard from the bedroom. He sounded a bit worried and she sighed before calling back to him, telling him she was just in the kitchen. Not hearing another sound she expected him to have fallen back asleep until she felt two very familiar arms encircling her waist and his lips kissing her neck and jaw. She smiled, goose bumps spreading over her body, as he knew exactly where to kiss her.
"Did I wake you up?" she softly asked.
She felt him nod "I heard you opening the curtains, why are you awake? Did you have a nightmare again?"
"Yeah, but it was the same old, same old, just not that bad this time."
"Then why are you up?"
"I just," she took a sip from her cooled down tea so she could have a little more time to decide how to answer him but Castle was more than familiar with her tactics as he has observed her for many years interrogating suspects. He gently turned her around so he could look at her. She looked worried. The light from outside illuminated her face. Castle silently admired his gorgeous wife and made a mental picture, not ever wanting to forget the image in front of him.
"Kate, what's wrong?"
"Castle," she said with a soft smile before putting her cup down and cupping his face in both her hands instead, still warmed by her tea, "It's nothing, let's go back to bed."
Castle shook his head and pulled her hands from his face and held them in his, gently squeezing them "We promised to be truthful to each other, especially after," Castle swallowed, it was really hard for him to even mention anything that was related to LokSat and Kate felt guilty for even making him think about it.
"It's silly, really," she eventually answered. Knowing he wouldn't back down.
"Just tell me Kate."
She looked down before being brave enough to look back into his eyes "are you disappointed?"
Castle frowned, "Disappointed? Why would I be disappointed?"
Kate moved their hands to her protruding belly badly hidden behind her, well technically his, flannel that she was wearing "that it's a girl?" she whispered, afraid to even say it out loud.
Castle's eyes grew big, "Oh, no, no! Kate, of course I am not disappointed we're having a little girl! What made you think that?"
Kate wiped a single tear from her face, damn hormones, and started slowly rubbing her belly to calm herself, "When we were at the doctor's today and they told us we were having a girl you seemed so… detached, unsure and I know you told me you wanted a son, I,"
Castle suddenly laughed and pulled his crying wife into his arms.
"Don't laugh at me," she muttered.
"I'm not, I am not, it's just,"
"Just what?" she answered irritated by his response.
"I don't think you understand that not everybody is a language whiz as you are!"
Kate pushed herself from their embrace so she could look at him again, "What does that even have to do with anything?"
"When we went to the doctor, what language did she speak?"
Kate frowned "French?"
"Yes, and what language don't I speak?"
Kate thought back to that afternoon doctor's appointment and slowly repeated her OB/GYN "c'est une fille" that's when she suddenly understood and let out a laugh. "You just didn't understand the doctor? That's why you stared at me like that?"
"I only knew after you repeated it to me in English but I guess my face before that stuck in your mind"
Kate pulled him back in an embrace, tighter this time, to make sure he could feel her belly, their baby, pressed against his stomach knowing how much he loved to feel their baby between them and whispered repeated apologies into his ear, "So you're happy?"
"Of course I am happy! We're having a baby, a healthy baby I might add and you're giving me another shot at fatherhood, I am over the moon! Sure a boy would have been nice but that doesn't make me love this little girl," as he put his hands on her rounded belly with so much love that it overwhelmed her "any less! We're going to raise a child, not a gender, whatever she wants to accomplish I'll be there."
Kate wiped the silent tears from her face and shook her head "Sorry for even doubting you."
Castle leaned in, his forehead touching hers "it's ok, besides the next one could be a boy."
Kate laughed and playfully slapped his arm "don't you even start! This one hasn't even been born yet!"
"Wouldn't it be nice though? Three little Castle babies running around, just like Simon Doyle predicted."
"You are seriously not quoting a mentally unstable man who claimed he was from the future right? Besides I am not even a senator."
"There's still time."
"Shut up." she whispered before standing on her tiptoes to kiss him.
"Let's go to bed we have a long day of sightseeing and eating delicious food in front of us" Castle said after he broke the kiss.
"You're going to get me so fat…" she huffed.
"Nah, just feeding my wife and unborn child."
"You're a good daddy," she answered, ashamed that she ever doubted him, as she let him lead her into the bedroom by her hand and climbed into the amazingly comfy bed alongside of him "only a few more weeks before we have to go back to New York…" she whispered to him as he spooned her, his hand resting gently onto her belly.
"I thought you wanted to stay in Paris? You said you loved the hospitals here?"
"I do, I love it here, but I don't want you to be totally lost when I go into labor," she chuckled "besides if she's be born here she won't be able to become president of the United States"
Castle snorted, "You have very high expectations of her."
"I just don't ever want her to be limited."
"Just hoping she doesn't want to become a cop."
Kate shivered with the thought and repeated his sentence "just hoping she doesn't want to become a cop". Knowing that if her genes had anything to do with it their baby daughter would grow up to be exactly that.
Thank you for reading! Pls let me know if you want me to continue this, if not, I'll just let it be. Also English isn't my first language so all mistakes are mine, I apologize.
