Ok this is my attempt at writing something for a competition, it will also be the first time I have ever edited something.
The song I have used is called Please Remember by Leann Rimes if you have never heard this song I strongly suggest you give it a go, as it is one of the most heartbreaking songs you are ever likely to here.
As ever I do this for the love of writing not the glory, if I did I would have died of disappointment a long time ago.
Thank you for reading.
Forget me not
"Time sometimes the time just slips away
And you're left with yesterday, left with the memories"
It has been one year, three days and twelve hours give or take a minute since I watched the man I loved, become the man I sit opposite today.
I watch as he is focused on his meal in front of him, how he avoids looking at me like I am going to hurt him and I sigh.
Allowing the pain to wash over me for a second of self indulgence I look back up into the dark eyes of Cody Rhodes, what I see there is not what I had hoped for.
I still remember the exact moment it happened, I was there watching from ringside as he had his match against Randy Orton. A former ally turned enemy, on screen that was. I looked on as he lost his footing and them his balance as he fell awkwardly off the top turn buckle.
My world tunnelled, as I watched helpless to do anything as Cody's head collided with the steal steps at the base of the ring.
My mind was shouting at me to go to him, to help him off the floor and to check if he was ok. My body however was paralysed, muscles frozen in place like they had never possessed the ability to move at all. I could see his head turned at an awkward angle and the crimson tail of blood that slid from one pale ear had me finding it hard to breath. Voices around me shouted, but they sounded faraway like I was inside a deep tunnel and they were yelling from far beyond its entrance.
It was a paramedic bumping into me that finally unfroze my muscles from their paralysed state and I blinked at the scene now before me. Body's were rushing around Cody's lifeless form, attaching wires and coving him with blankets. The silence from the crowd was what I noticed first, as the WWE universe seemed to hold its breath along with me as Cody was hauled up on a stretcher. I tried to reach him with my hand as he was whisked passed me but I never made contact.
The next thing I knew I was staring up at the face of Randy Orton, his concern written all over his features as I struggled to sit up.
"Steady Beth, you fainted." He said placing his hand on my shoulder and helped me into a sitting position.
"Fainted?" I remember asking as he sat down gently next to me. The past few hours, moments I wasn't sure, were a bit of a blur. I knew I was sitting in Randy's locker room and that we were alone, I also did not remember getting there.
As the fog in my brain started to clear it all came flooding back to me, the wave of the emotions I felt hitting me like a brick wall and if I hadn't already been sitting down I probably would have fallen over again.
"Cody!" I shouted trying to stand up, but was stopped by Randy's hand, the one that he had yet to remove from my shoulder and I tried to shrug him off.
"Let me go Randy I have to go and see him." I say sending the viper a cold glare as his hand slipped from my bare shoulder and into his lap. I realise quickly that he is unusually quite, that his manner suggests something far more serious has happened to Cody than I was ready to hear.
"Where is he Randy?" I ask trying to keep my tone soft but I could here the panic under the words, even to my own ears.
"He is at the city hospital, after they took him away you fainted beside the ring. I brought you hear, but you were out for quite sometime. Ted went with the ambulance and he said he would ring with any news." Randy paused here and I felt myself become inpatient. Who's boyfriend was he I thought as I tapped my foot on the floor waiting for Randy to continue talking.
"He hasn't rung yet. We could go over there right now if you are feeling ok." Randy said and he stood up. I suddenly felt completely deflated, the anger I felt towards Randy was misplaced and undeserved.
"I would like that." I said this time it did sound genuine and I was happy by the slight smile that pulled at Randy's lips as he led me out of the locker room and towards the car.
The journey was a blur of images and sounds that I was not sure I had heard or seen at all. Randy and I crashed through the doors to the hospital and were directed towards a receptionist who looked rather startled to see us.
"Cody Rhodes?" Randy asked the young woman as I looked around the stark white waiting room and shivered.
"He is upstairs, third floor." The woman replied but I barely looked at her before I took off for the elevator. I didn't bother to check to see if Randy was following me, I pushed the button for the third floor as Randy stepped in beside me but I barely felt his presence.
The doors opened to reveal a long corridor lined with hard plastic lime green chairs, the hallway held a single occupant. It was a man I knew well, I could tell from his posture that what ever was happening Ted Debasie was not happy. He was hunched over hands clenched in front of him, chin resting atop them.
I moved along the hallway quickly, but Randy reached his friend first.
"How is he?" Randy asked as Ted looked up and levelled his eyes on me for an instant before turning to look at Randy.
"The doctors are in with him now, something about his brain swelling, they haven't said much." Ted spoke in a voice which betrayed the fact that he was holding back tears. I could feel the sting of them just behind my eyes and I didn't care at this point if they spilt over and ran down my cheeks.
It felt like we had sat in that waiting room for hours, when Mr and Mrs Rhodes walked out of the elevator and spotted me immediately.
"God Beth what happened?" His mother cried at me and I forced myself to stand up and meet the small woman in a hug as Cody's father shook hands with Randy. I was just about to give them both what little news we had when the doctor came out and asked for Cody's next to kin.
I felt myself tense, my heart was racing and the blood was pounding in my ears so hard I almost didn't here what the doctor said. "Cody had suffered a severe blow to the head, this has caused some significant damage to his cerebellum, the concussion to the sight has made him unable to breathe without assistance, we are hoping that it is just the swelling that is compressing the nerves, but at this point it is all speculation." I was listening to what the doctor was saying but I didn't quite understand it.
"In English doctor please." Dusty Rhodes said as I glance at the older man who was holding on to his wife tightly.
"In short Cody is on a life support machine, he can not breathe on his own right now, but we think it is just the swelling in his brain that is causing this. Time is the only thing we can give him right now, but you can go and see him if you like."
Felling like I was going to faint for the second time ever in my life, all in the space of one day. I was grateful for the hand which settled on my shoulder to keep me focused. Cody was on life support and there was nothing the doctor could do.
Walking behind Cody's parents into the sterile hospital room, followed by Randy and Ted I felt like I was walking into a morgue, and that I was here to identify Cody's body not stare as his still form, wrapped in white sheets. The hiss and click of the ventilator which was keeping him alive filled the silence in the room and somehow it seemed apt that that was the only sound right at this moment.
I reached out and found his hand, for some reason I was expecting it to be cold, it was not. His hand felt the same as it had done many times in the early hours of the morning when I would take hold of it, letting myself know he was still there asleep next to me. Not knowing what to say I moved over to let both of Cody's parents sit down beside his bed. His mom began whispering something in his ear that I couldn't make out, while Dusty Rhodes just watched over the pair of them and I realised that I needed to get out of this room.
I glanced over at Randy and Ted who had the same nervous look about them, none of us knew what to do. He was our friend, but he was their son and somehow what me and Cody had shared for the last few months seemed to pale in comparison to their relationship.
I steeped almost unconsciously away from the side of the bed and drifted backwards towards the door. Neither one of Cody's parents even noticed me leaving as they focused on their son. Randy and Ted followed me as though they sensed the same thing that I did, that tonight, Mr and Mrs Rhodes needed to be left alone with their son.
Randy caught the Doctor in the hallway as we left Cody lying in his bed with the machine beeping all around him. The man looked tired but sympathetic when Randy asked him about Cody's prognosis.
"Right now we are just going to keep an eye on him, there may come a point when we have to think about turning off the life support machine though, but that decision is a long way off and probably unnecessary." The words haunted me for days.
We had been in town for three more weeks after Cody's accident, one of us, either me, Randy or Ted would go and see him everyday. It was hard to go so it was nice to share the responsibility. Seeing Cody lying there lifeless was one of the hardest things to look at, almost that was until I saw the haunted and sallow look on the faces of his parents.
It was the day before we were due to leave and Mr Rhodes rang me from the hospital. His voice was stoic but his words were not.
"We are going to turn off the ventilator today, Beth you probably should come down and see him."
I could do nothing but agree, not that I would even consider not going, even though I felt like being sick and I was having a hard time keeping the world from spinning.
"I will be right there." I replied hanging up the phone.
I had rightly assumed that Dusty had also contacted Randy and Ted who met me in the car park. We didn't exchange words, just a look which said everything that needed to be communicated as we headed off for the hospital.
The song playing on the radio was not one I recognised, as I continued to listen I realised just how much it related to what was going on in my life right now.
"I'll always think of you and smile,
And be happy for the time I had you with me.
Thought we go our separate ways,
I won't forget so don't forget
The memories we made"
I turned off the music with such force I almost broke the volume dial and Randy gave me a slight frown as I pulled my hand back into my lap.
"Sorry." I uttered but Randy said nothing but he just placed his hand over mine and gave them a light squeeze.
We were all there stood around the hospital bed Cody had been in for nearly a month now, his body looked smaller, but I thought that might just be my eyes. As the doctor came in he looked at all of us, his eyes lingering on the two oldest members of our group and he nodded slightly.
"We will know if he is going to breathe on his own in a matter of seconds after the machine has been turned off." He said as he fiddled with the machine and checked the readouts.
My eyes were focus on the steady rise and fall of Cody's chest under the sheets. I clutched on to Randy's hand, he held it back with the same force as the doctor turned off the machine. The silence was deafening, no one moved no one breathed, all of us waiting for that moment when Cody would inhale his first proper breath.
For a moment that became a lifetime I was sure that it wasn't going to happen. His chest remained still and time seemed to stop right along with it.
Then an almost inaudible inhale of air came from the man in the bed. Cody triggered the machine himself this time and I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face.
It was the first sign of hope we had had since he was first brought here and I allowed the tears of joy to slip down my cheeks without shame.
"There we go; I will take him of the respirator permanently now." The doctor was saying as Mrs Rhodes clutched both her husbands and her son's hand.
"When might he wake up?" Dusty asked as we all waited for his response.
"Impossible to tell, but now he his breathing on his own he is healing. One day it is likely that he will just wake up." The doctor replied as he pulled the tubes from Cody's throat and I had to look away for a second before processing what the doctor had said.
"What about brain damage." That had come from Randy and I could feel him stiffen at his own question. It was like someone finally addressing the elephant in the room. No one wanted the answer, but everyone had to know it.
"Right now I cannot give you any predictions, we will just have to wait for him to wake up."
That's what we had done. The WWE had move don to new states new hotels and every night I lie awake waiting for the phone call that told me the man I loved had opened his eyes and was asking for me.
The lack of sleep had taken its tool on my health obviously and I had been on screen less and less and the WWE universe knew exactly why. Randy had been forcing himself though each day in mush the same why I had. The doctor had prescribed me sleeping pills, but I didn't want to take them. If I slept though that phone call, the one I had been simultaneously dreading and preying for I would never forgive myself.
I was asleep, I was sure of it, the darkness seemed to be pressing me into the bed, yet something was jingling in my ears which was refusing to let me go.
Realising that it was the sound of my phone ringing I sat bolt upright in bed and snatched my phone off the bedside table and pressed the device to my ear.
"Hello." I remember saying, my voice sounding terribly groggy as some static came down the line.
"Beth? It's Dusty, It's Cody he is awake."
This time I lept out of bed, I hadn't even said anything in reply as I started throwing on clothes. I ignore the fact that Dusty's voice had been far from the elation I felt as I replied to the man left on the other end of the line.
"I will be there." I said hanging up and throwing open the door to my hotel room and running down the hall to wake Randy.
"Randy wake up." I shouted as I battered on his door with my fist. Realising that it was the middle of the night and not caring, I was still knocking when Randy opened the door.
"What in the world?" He asked as he took in my appearance and I shrugged off the sweat pants and halter neck top look.
"It's Cody he is awake."
"Get Ted." Was his reply as I jumped to the next door along which opened before I had chance to knock.
Ted had obviously heard all the commotion and had come out to investigate.
"Cody is awake." I said to him as he looked at me and smiled. Rushing out of his door and turning to lock it I placed my hand on the young mans shoulder.
"Ted clothes." I said to him a huge grin on my face as I pointed to his brightly coloured orange boxer sorts and bare chest.
"Damm it good point, wait for me." He said as he rushed back inside and I let out a laugh at the scene.
I was happy for the first time in what felt like forever as the boys joined me in the hallway as we made our way to the elevator and Randy pushed the button for the ground floor.
"I'll drive." Randy said and I wasn't going to argue with him as we climbed in to his car and headed for the air port.
Unbeknown to us, that our elation was about to turn in to disappointment.
The journey seemed to go by so slowly, but so quickly at the same time. I remember sitting in the stiff airplane seats and having Ted fidgeting next to me. I remember Randy taking hold of my hand softly as we took off and then the rest was a blur.
One song kept running through me head though, it was the song from the radio all those moths ago, the day Cody's ventilator was switched off. I had gone and found the song, from the little I had to go on I remember I had to ask around a lot until Natalya recognised it and gave me the title.
"Please remember"
I didn't think I had heard anything more apt for what we found in that hospital bed that day.
Walking through the corridor, the weight of anticipation was so thick and heavy in the air I could almost taste it. The grins on both Randy and Ted's faces were catching and I couldn't help but grin back at them as Randy pushed open the door to Cody's room only to be stopped by the sight of him sat up in his bed.
His eyes were large, the white clearly visible from my position at the door, he seemed to try and shrink into the bed as though he were trying to hide away. Then I saw the absolute fear in his eyes as the three of us got closer.
Cody started thrashing about in the bed trying to escape under it and he had to be held down by a couple of nurses and my world crumbled around me once more. Something was terribly wrong; something which was scaring me more than the silence that he had been in for months.
"Come with me." Dusty said leading me out of the room and Randy and Ted trailed behind me. Dusty stood in front of us, his head bowed and if I could have seen his eyes I know he would have been crying.
"Cody, he, it seems that he has got some complications." Dusty started, I realised that his words were not making sense and I held in my anger at my own impatience.
Right then the doctor came upon us and took over in the expiation about Cody's condition. I realised that I could not have prepared myself for what was to come.
As the doctor spoke I couldn't stop my eyes from drifting though the glass door that separated us from Cody and watched as now we had left the person in the bed calmed down.
"Cody is suffering some severe memory loss, as yet we don't know the complete extent of it, but it seems that he has no idea who his parents are, or even who he is. He doesn't seem to know how to talk and from what we can tell his understanding of language is limited." I could feel Randy moved towards me slightly as though he thought I was going to faint again but I remained upright. I had shut down the moment I saw Cody's eyes, they were eyes I did not recognise and all I wanted to do was turn away from them.
"What are you saying doctor, will he remember as he gets better?" Randy asked a I stood there silent and Randy seemed to know that I needed him to do the talking right now.
"We don't know, he might recover all of his memory in time, he may only get parts back. There is a chance that he will never remember, and we will have to teach him to walk and talk again. Right now it is a good sign that he is awake and we can be optimistic about his recovery going in the right direction." I could feel Ted's hand on my shoulder as Randy went back in to talk with Cody or at least try too. I wanted to go but Ted's hand was encouraging to stay right where I was.
"Ted I should go and see him." I said feeling more obligated to rather than actually wanting to.
"Maybe later, I think if we go one at a time it will be easier for him." Ted had replied and I didn't have the strength to argue.
That night as I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling I realised that I had been a coward. I had gone back in to see Cody but I couldn't look at him and I didn't know what to say. I had used all of my efforts in comforting Mrs Rhodes and had left shortly after I had asked her to call me about any news.
Now I was feeling guilty as hell for avoiding someone I supposedly loved but there was no way I could look at him like he was. Cody Rhodes was not the man in that hospital bed, and I feared that I had lost him forever.
A month later they released Cody from the hospital, myself Ted and Randy had all been to see him at least once, each experience as painful as the last. Cody was weary of us. He had regain the use of his voice, his sentences were simple, childlike in a fashion, as were his eating habits. He was still unable to remember his own name at times and every time I saw him he always asked me mine.
They had taken Cody home four months after his initial accident but his recovery was far from over. The doctors had asked us to keep in touch with him, that having people from his past might jog his memory and we were only to happy to do it.
That was until he went home, I hadn't seen Cody for a month, work and schedules getting in the way. Randy had managed a short trip before, but he had come back disheartened and had refused to give men any details about why. He had simply stated that Cody was doing ok and that he was learning to read.
Mrs Rhodes had sent me up stairs to Cody's room, as I pushed open the door I was met with the flurry of bed sheets and wide staring eyes.
"Mom, Mom the white witch she is here, she has come to kill me!" He shouted, I stood there in total shock at the little boy in a mans body who was hiding behind the bed looking back out at me.
"It's ok Cody, its me Beth." I said trying to convince him to come out but he only hissed at me like a caged cat.
"I don't know you go away."
With that I spun on my heals trying to hide the hot tears from Cody's face as I was likely to scare him. I hurried down the stairs and into the waiting embrace of Dusty Rhodes.
"We have been reading The Chronicle's of Narnia I am sorry Beth." He had said to me, I couldn't really take on board what the older man had said to me until much later.
I don't know why I went there and I certainly don't remember going there consciously.
I found myself knocking on a wooden door in the depths of the night having just gotten out of a taxi which had delivered me back to the hotel we were currently staying in. In the taxi on the way back from seeing Cody I had come to realise a few things. First that Cody might never get better, that I had in fact lost him the day his head collided with that steal and I had to stop tarring myself apart trying to get him back. On the other hand I couldn't just give up on him, leave him like he was, scared and afraid all the time.
I think that is wh6y I ended up being pulled into to Randy's room as we said nothing but ended up in a tight embrace in the centre of his room.
"He is not there Randy, Cody Rhodes is dead." I wept out. I realised that I had done a lot of crying recently and it had gotten me precisely no where. As my tears made the front of Randy's shirt wet I tilted my head up to look him in the eyes.
"I know, Beth I know." Was what fell off his lips, and I realised that this is what he had been afraid to tell me about the last time he had seen Cody. That I had just discovered something Randy already knew, and now it had been spoken out loud the flood gates burst.
For the first time and probably the last time I saw Randy Orton give in to the tears. The fell like the very first drops of a autumn storm. Big wet drops of moisture, joining my own as they fell on to his shirt. I blinked slowly as we moved closer together.
"Please remember I was there for you
And you were there for me"
The words echoed though my mind like a distance memory of something important as our lips crashed together. What we were looking for I do not know, but I knew that I found some solace in Randy's arms as they tightened around me.
We somehow got to the bed, limbs becoming entangled as we pulled off clothes, the tears running dry making way for heavy breathing and the pounding of our hearts.
The sensation of his hands over my body were making me feel for the first time in forever as I gave myself over to his touch. I returned his caresses in kind, the feel of another human being just making me feel alive once more. It wasn't all crashing violins and the crescendo of feelings I usually associated with sex, but it was sweet and gentle and it made me feel alive.
After I lye next to him as he allowed his hand to grasp mine in a totally innocent way, juxtaposed to our naked bodies entwined in each other.
"Sorry Beth I didn't know why I did that." He had started in some kind of apology which would have ruined what it was.
"Grief that's why we did that." I remember replying as I must have fallen asleep to the gentle caress of his hand in mine.
It was two months before either me or Randy went to see Cody again, neither of us had mentioned that night again, nor had there been a reoccurrence of it.
Ted had been the first one to go and see Cody in his new place at the rehabilitation centre. After a month at his parents house Cody had become too much for them. Prone to mood swings and having physical out busts of frustration and anger they had decided to place him in a home for people who had similar conditions. I was hoping that it would help him recover, even if it was only enough to remember my name.
Ted had said that Cody was doing much better that he was less scared now, that his speech had improved and he now remembered his own name, and for the most part recognised his parents.
When I saw the house it looked pretty ordinary, a large white generic looking building, all that was missing was the high fence and the barbed wire.
Inside however it was nicely decorated, the hallways were not echoing and empty, carpet graced the floors and pictures donned the walls. I looked at them as we walked passed and saw that most of them were photos of what I assumed were other residence. The hallways themselves were not stark white either like I had been expecting.
Randy commented that they were probably some calming shade of antique cream, or egg shell. Beige was beige as far as I was concerned, but it was better and less harsh than white.
This time as we were shown to Cody's room I was under no illusion that I would be opening the door on the person who loved me.
The room its self was pleasant enough, a large bed sat under the long arched window at the far left hand side. The light that streamed in through the window bathed the room in warmth and casting long shadows across the floor. I looked around to see a sparse vanity unit where upon it was a single photo of his parents and what looked like a pack of cards. I was disappointed that there was not one of his friends back in the WWE.
My eyes were drawn to the table where in the centre was placed a large vase of fresh flowers. I briefly wondered how often they were changed and who did them? Did Cody go and pick his own flowers or did a nurse come and do it for him everyday. Either way I decided I liked the fact that he had something alive in his room as my eyes finally rested on the person we had come to see who was staring out of the widow from the only arm chair in the room.
"Hello Cody." Randy ventured first and both of us were pleased when Cody turned to look at us and smiled.
"Hello pleased to meet you." He said standing up, I had to admit my emotions were in contradiction. This was certainly better than him thinking I was going to kill him, but I was disappointed that he didn't recognise me at all.
"Hi I am Randy and this is Beth." Randy said as Cody took my hand a distinct blush coming to his face.
"Is she your girlfriend she is pretty." Cody said to Randy so he thought I wouldn't be able to here.
"No she isn't we are both your friends though." Randy said not wanting to go into all that and I was certainly not about to explain it.
"Oh so where do I know you from, the doctors told me that there might be some friends from before coming to see me." Cody said and I realised that this is now what he called the past. They were separated for him in to two parts now. Before his accident and after.
"We used to work with you." I said hoping that Cody would be happy to talk about his career something he had always been so proud of. His reaction was not good, he skulked off and sat back down heavily in his chair.
"I don't like wrestling, if you want to talk about that you can go away." He said and I was shocked, thankfully Randy managed to save the situation. Having also spotted the pack of cards lying on the vanity until Randy walked over and picked them up.
"No that's fine Cody we could play some cards if you like though.
Cody's face had lit up immediately, he showed us both to the table and invited us to sit down.
"I have just learned a new game called Gin, do you know that one." He had said dealing before either of us had a chance to answer.
The rest of the visit went well that was until I asked Cody if he remembered anything from before, anything about who he was. I don't know why I did it, I guess I just had to know, to push him to find out if he could even remember a fraction of he used to be. All I was met with though was hostility.
"No and I am sick of people asking me that, now go away!" He had shouted as I tried to place my hand on his arm as he snatched himself away from me.
I was almost physically thrown back, Cody was no longer the strong muscular man he used to be, moths lying motionless on a bed, and further months of physical therapy had made his body week. It was the force of his anger which propelled me into Randy's chest.
"Ok Cody we will go now and we will come back soon for more cards yes." Randy had tried but he had been ignored. As we walked out of the building I couldn't help but hear the sound of a CD player being switched on. I had to pause and listen for a second and I couldn't be sure, but the sound seemed to be coming from Cody's room.
"Please remember, our time together.
The time was yours and mine and we were wild and free.
Please remember, please remember me."
"Beth you ok" Randy shook me slightly as I pulled away from the sounds as I realised that the song was not in fact the one I thought it was, that actually the voice was a mans and the song was some old rock number the title eluding me as Randy steered me towards his car.
Four months had gone passed and I had not been back to see Cody since myself and Randy had made the visit together. As far as I knew only Ted out of the three of us had gone back and talked with Cody.
I was not sure why I had stopped going to see him, Ted seemed to enjoy spending time with him, but neither I nor Randy had had good experiences when it came to talking with him.
I found myself sat in the hotel bar, it was late and I was still pondering over my second beer and I was starting to gain some odd looks from the bar man. I felt someone sit next to me and I glanced at this person out of the corner of my eye. Luckily the distinct bright pink hair gave them away and I tried to smile at Natalya as she glanced at me.
Having been preoccupied with Cody this past eight nearly nine months I had found that most people didn't ask me directly about how he was doing. They seemed to get it from the people that were not as close. Vince was one of the main sources of information but he was just as in the dark as to weather or not Cody Rhodes would ever be retuning to the WWE. I turned at the slow sigh from the woman sat next to me and I gave her a small smile.
"What's new Natalya?" I asked her and she proceeded to tell me about her various plans and how her family were doing. I was interested honestly, in fact getting away from the thoughts of recent times was a luxury until her commentary on her recent fights with Laycool seized and I was staring at her in silence.
"That's great." I ventured realising I had missed the end of the conversation but it seemed to do the trick.
"How is Cody?" There it was the question I really didn't have the answer to. I looked away from her expectant face and played with the label on my beer bottle.
"He is doing fine, better now he has the support he needs." I say knowing that it is at least the truth, even if it was not quite what I had been hoping for.
"Do you know when he might come back?" The question seemed so innocent. It fell from her lips like it was just a normal question about the weather. I could feel myself stiffen in response to the answer I felt brewing inside me until finally it spilled over my lips.
"He won't be coming back." There it was out, I had confessed my worst fear in a bar, to a woman I could only just about call my friend and I felt strangely good about saying it.
"Never?" she had asked as I stood to leave, my beer untouched and my head the clearest it had been for months.
"No Cody Rhodes is a different person now." I said with a smile as I headed back upstairs.
I pushed open the door to Randy's room as he called for me to come in after I knocked.
"Randy if you could start all over again, wipe the slate clean would you still want to be a wrestler?" I asked him from the doorway not moving in to the room any further as he looked up at me from his magazine.
"Yes defiantly." He replied and I turned to leave.
"I bet Cody said that too."
I went to see Cody again the next week. I didn't tell any one I was going, I didn't want any one's expectations riding on my shoulders when I went to see him.
"Hello Cody." I asked him hoping that he said hello Beth back but knowing he wouldn't. he didn't disappoint me.
"Hello there now what's your name pretty lady are you my new nurse." He had said giving me the once over and I decided that he had finally hit puberty.
"No Cody I am a friend from before." I said deciding that I did not need to ask about his past. I could see he still knew nothing about what he had been before, what he had been to me, and I decided to leave it there this time, the past was the past and for Cody it was likely to stay as illusive as the stars.
Several months more went passed and I did not go back for any more secret visits with Cody. I got most of my news from Ted who seemed to like the new friend he had made.
"He remembered who I was Beth, by the end he knew my name and he wrote me on his friends' page in his diary." Ted had said bouncing up to me in the corridor one particularly bleak day and it did make me happy.
I guessed that some relationships were just meant to be, and Ted and Cody's friendship was just that, meant to be.
I had realised that I had done less and less thinking about Cody in the passed few months, and almost none since my last visit with him. My initial thought was that I was feeling guilty for not wanting to see him, for being a coward and not facing my own fear.
Randy once again made me see what it really was.
"You know we did loose him don't you, that all we have done is moved on." He said one night while I was sitting on the end of his bed and staring out of the window at the stars beyond.
"Just because he is living and breathing does not make him Cody Rhodes. Our friend died the moment his head hit those steal steps." He had said and I had turned around to look at him.
"I know, doesn't stop me from feeling guilty." I replied as I pushed back on to the bed and lay my head on his chest feeling his heart beating under my ear.
"Maybe you just need to say goodbye."
"Goodbye there's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away with just the memories."
I decided to take Randy's advice, eventually that is. I had walked into the rehabilitation centre with my head held high, ready to face my own daemons. Cody did not know this of course and had greeted me with his usual exuberant politeness.
"Hello pleased to meet you Beth." He had said offering me a seat which I took. It had been time for dinner and I had invited him to eat with me. Something which made him blush and reminded me of the child that still was there.
"So Cody what is good?" I asked him and he checked me out of the top of the menu.
"I like the lasagne, but its Thursday there is no lasagne today." He said it didn't take me long to realise that it was in fact Wednesday.
"Its Wednesday Cody you can have lasagne." I said happily but Cody looked mad and embarrassed for a second.
"I knew that yeah lasagne for me." Cody said to a passing nurse and the woman gave him a small shake of the head as I told her I would have the same thing.
A silence descended upon us as our food was delivered, and I couldn't help but look over at him, his dark head of hair the only thing I could see of his face as he buried himself into his food.
"Who's to know what might have been
We leave behind a life and time
I'll never know again"
It has been one year three days twelve hours give or take a few minutes since I watched the man I loved become the man I sit opposite today.
When he finally looks up at me it is not recognition I see in his eyes but fear, not as deep as it had been but it was still there, shielded by a thin Vail of anger and testosterone at his earlier mistake about the day. My meal unfinished I stood up and walked around to Cody's side, taking one of his hands in mine. I did not let go when he flinched away slightly.
Leaning forward I brought my lips closer to his ear and whispered.
"Please remember,
Please remember me"
As I pulled away I stood up and turned from his slightly shocked form I moved towards the door and he did not move, he didn't try to follow me or to stop me from leaving. My mind was made up in that moment I was saying good bye.
And one last time I turned away, knowing I wouldn't be turning back ever again.
"Please remember
I was there for you and you were there for me.
Please remember our time together
The time was yours and mine and we were wind and free.
Please remember, please remember me"
THE END
I realise just how dark this is, but I would love to know what you think, I would like to thank Pixiella for this wonderful challenge/ competition but this story has been plaguing me for the past few days since I read about this and I just had to get it all out. Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far without crying I salute you as tears were running down my face while I was writing it.
