Prologue.
He was losing his mind, and me knew it. Everyone looked down on him, like he was a monster. He was an outcast in a group that he protected, that he sacrificed so much for, that he killed for. He could feel their eyes burning into his soul, every time he walked near them. He couldn't take it anymore.
"This will never be your baby. Even if it is- it's not."
Those words rang in Shane's ear constantly. He knew he'd done wrong, he'd slept with his bestfriend's wife- but he also fell in love with her. A love that he couldn't shake, as much as he tried.
Shane was happy when Rick found the group, it's not everyday that you're 'brother', who you were convinced was dead, comes back into your life. But it was also the worst thing that could of possibly happened.
By the time Rick had showed his face, Lori and Carl were already buried into Shane's heart. He loved them, both. The moment he saw Rick step out of that truck, he knew it was over. He didn't, however, realize that Lori would turn on him as much as she did. She hated him- or so he thought.
Shane never ran from his problems, but he had no choice. If he didn't go, he would do something he'd regret. "Why don't you let me go?" Randall pleaded, every time he and Shane had a sit down. "You could join my camp. You'd fit right in!"
Leaving Hershel's farm to join up with Randall's men was anything but exciting for Shane. But he didn't want to leave alone. He couldn't be alone, the thoughts racing through his head would drive him to suicide. He chose the next best option.
"Why'd you decide to come with me?" Randall asked, happy as could be. "You let me go. Why?"
"Just wasn't workin' out- people pull apart," Shane answered, not wanting to talk about anything in the passed. "It ain't important."
Randall nodded, "you're really 'gone like it with these guys," he promised. "They're tough, like you."
Shane didn't feel tough. He felt as weak as he ever felt in his entire life.
"They're not bad guys, y'know?" Randall continued. "They're just tryin' to survive- like your friends."
"How much further we got?" Shane asked, ignoring Randall's speech about his group. He was tired. They'd been walking, nonstop, for a day and a half, he just wanted to get with a new group, survive, and forget about the passed.
"Not much. Maybe another- half mile?"
"Good."
"Ya tired?" Randall smiled. "I'm tired too."
"What you always smiling for, man?" Shane asked, annoyed. The more he thought about it, the more he realized Randall, literally, smiled since they left the farm. "You let me live, dude. That's worth smiling over."
"I guess," Shane shook his head. He wondered if anyone noticed he was gone, putting two and two together, realizing that he must've left with Randall. He knew Rick must've thought he took Randall somewhere to kill him and be done with. God, was he tired of Rick's 'I'll have to sleep on it' attitude. In all reality, Shane wanted Randall dead. He was just a kid- but he's old enough to know that he was shooting at Rick, Hershel and Glenn to kill them. The fact that Rick risked their lives, and brought a person who was trying to kill them back to camp, around his pregnant wife and son, made Shane's blood boil. However, at this point, anything was better than being labeled 'the bad guy'. Even if that meant leaving with a bad guy.
"There it is!" Randall shouted, breaking Shane from his thoughts. Shane looked to where he was pointing- it's small. "How many guys you got?" He asked.
"'Bout 20," Randall said, starting to sprint. "Come on." Shane started running behind Randall, until they were both stopped in their tracks by two men on the front porch aiming guns at their heads.
"It's me guys!" Randall shouted with his hands in the air.
"Randall?" A man asked. "The hell you been?"
"Who's this?" Another man asked, pointing at Shane.
"This is Shane. He helped me," Randall smiled. "I'd be dead if it wasn't for him."
Shane looked the house over as the men talked. It was an old, yellow split-level. The paint no peeling off, and there were beer cans all over the yard. It smelled like a dumpster. The farm beat this place by a far, but it was okay for now.
"The hell goin' on out here?" A man shouted, bursting through the front door. "Randall!" He shouted, obviously drunk. "The hell you come from?" Randall smiled, bouncing up and down like a crack fiend. "I got into some trouble," Randall answered, giving the overweight man a hug. "But Shane helped me."
"This Shane?" He asked, pointing. Randall nodded. "God damn it- you saved our Randy," he laughed, pulling Shane in for a hug. "I'm Tony. This here is Chuck, and Bob. You know Randy." Shane nodded with a forced smile, "nice to meet y'all," he said, a bit uncomfortable.
"Losin' up a bit, man. It's all good here," Tony said, slapping Shane in the arm. "Let me show ya around a bit."
Shane walked in the house, following Tony, questioning how the door didn't fall off it's hinge. "This the living room," Tony shouted, arms open wide. "We ain't much cleaners 'round here," he joked.
Shane couldn't believe just how disgusting the inside of this house was. Everything looked and smelled sticky. There was trash in every corner, and enough beer cans to last an entire year. "Where you get all your beer from?" Shane laughed, trying not to sound rude.
"We got men that scout, everyday. Ain't that some shit? The world ends and we can't live without beer," Tony laughed. "This is the kitchen. Ain't really shit to eat," he whaled. "God damn room's useless. All the rooms in this hell hole are full- you gone have to sleep on the couch," he pointed.
"I'll probably just be on watch. I don't sleep much," Shane confirmed. "Where's all your men? Randall said you got 20 plus."
"Some are on runs. Some are sleepin'. In the back shootin' horseshoes. These motherfuckers are all over," he laughed. Shane nodded, stepping a few feet from Tony who smells of stale beer and body funk.
"I saved the best for last," he shouted, waving for Shane to follow him down a hallway. "We keep this room for the goof stuff- you really gone like this." Shane automatically assumed it was drugs, or more beer. But he was wrong, and when Shane saw what these 'men' considered the 'good stuff', he was sick. "This here; is Tasha."
