98. We're Splitting Up...
Who dares disturb me from my sleep? Tonks thought. She rubbed her eyes and turned to her side, expecting Remus to be sitting straight up, wand in hand, eyes moving from side to side, looking for any sign of an intruder. Both of them were very light sleepers-thanks to Moody and his stupid 'constant vigilance' motto.
Instead, she found only a couple of pillows and a stuffed teddy bear that really was a sneakoscope in disguise (a gift from none other than Mad-Eye.) Feeling confused and worried, she grabbed her wand and got off the bed.
But not without breaking something, of course.
She quickly repaired the mug that crashed on the floor and placed it back on the small dresser beside her bed. She walked out into the hallway and saw that the front door was still swinging, making a slight bang! every time it hit the house.
Remus must've recently gone after the intruder, Tonks thought. She opened the door and walked down the steps, shivering from the cold winter breeze. She swore quietly. A flowery housecoat and cute bunny slippers did not keep her warm.
A light was moving ahead, and she could make out a shadow. "Remus?"
The light stopped moving and Tonks could see clearly that he, indeed, was Remus.
Tonks eyebrows furrowed. There was no intruder.
"Where are you going?"
Remus took a moment to respond. "Somewhere you can't find me."
Tonks became even more confused. They didn't fight last night, why did he act like he was mad with her?
Remus noticed Tonks confusion. "I'm breaking up with you," he said inaudibly.
"What?" She was pretty sure she knew what he said, but…no, she must've heard wrong.
"I-I'm breaking up with you." He repeated, a little more louder than before.
She couldn't believe it. Why? They were so good, they were happy-why? Didn't he say just last night that he loved her?
But if he loved her, why would he want to break up with her?
Did he really love her?
"Yes or no, Remus." She blurted out. Tonks was always the straightforward type. If she had something on her mind, she said it.
"What-?"
"Do you love me or not?"
"Of course I do." He said it like it was obvious.
"But, then-why are you-what-" Every second she was getting more confused.
Remus sighed. "It's complicated, Nym-"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Tonks took a deep breath and lowered her wand, which was pointing at Remus. "Why are you breaking up with me, then, if you love me?"
"I-I can't be with you! No, you can't be with me! I'm a monster-"
As soon as he said the word 'monster', she knew what this was about.
"Oh please, not that again!" Tonks said exasperatedly.
"Listen!" Remus exclaimed rather loudly. Tonks eyes widened, she never heard him speak like that. He continued, though much quieter. "You will be scolded, your life will be ruined, everyone will judge you-"
"MERLIN'S BEARD, Remus, we've already discussed this and I am entirely, completely, one hundred percent fine with it! Can we please let this go? Come inside, it's cold. I'll get you a glass of firewhiskey, get all this nonsense out of your head…" Tonks began to walk back to the house.
"No, Tonks," Remus said, staying put. "I know you're fine with it now, but later on you'll hate it and I don't want to be the one who made your life horrible."
"It'll be worse without you, Rem!" Why couldn't he understand?
"You're wrong, it'll be so much better, please, I want you to be happy…" Remus said, his voice desperate.
"So, what, you're going to dump me?" Tonks said heatedly.
"Can't you see? I love you so much that I'll give you up just so you could be happy!" Now he started to sound impatient.
"No, Rem, you're so selfish that you would give me up just so you don't feel guilty for the rest of your life and so that you feel like you actually did something good."
"Our kid...he might be a werewolf, Tonks. I don't want to do that, I don't want to give him a cursed life…"
"Selfish again, Remus!"
"He's our kid!"
"He'll understand-"
"It's not fun, you know, transforming into a werewolf every month!" He was downright annoyed now. This was only the second time Tonks saw him like this, the first being when she questioned Sirius's loyalty.
"I bloody well know that it's not fun, but your son is your son and he will love you no matter what. He knows you feel sorry for him-"
"Sorry is not enough! Do you know how many times someone told me they felt sorry for me? It doesn't help, you know, it doesn't change the fact that-"
"Blimey, Remus, we don't even have a kid!" Tonks said incredulously. Remus fumed silently.
After a minute or so of fuming, Tonks, scared of an irritated reply, asked, "Now, can we please go back inside?"
Remus didn't reply, but he started to walk towards the house. She followed him, relieved, muttering under her breath how this was all totally insane.
When they got inside, Remus hung up his coat and hugged Tonks, who was shivering from head to toe. "I'm sorry," he said simply.
She burrowed her face into his chest. "It's okay."
"Teddy won't have a cursed life, he'll have a wonderful mother-"
"…Teddy?" Tonks resurfaced and looked into his eyes curiously.
"Yeah…I kind of like that name, don't you?"
Tonks tilted her head and thought about it. Teddy Lupin. She nodded her head. "Yeah, it does sound nice." Tonks looked back into his eyes. "And he'll have a wonderful father."
"And he'll have your clumsiness-"
"-your brains-"
"-your loyalty-"
"-your bravery-"
"-and he will be the most amazing son we could ever ask for."
