"This Is How It Could Have Happened"
Parts 1 & 2

I've done quite a few stories on how the writers on the show could have excused Cindy Williams's absence from the show besides having her marry that ::shudders:: thing they call Walter. So anyway, around the time Shirley leaves, it's.... 1967? 1966? Around there, right? It's the time of women's lib. Laverne and Shirley are getting really fed up of working at Bardwell's. I mean, who wants to spend their entire life at a minimum wage job that's taking you no where? But since they didn't go to school, there's not a lot of career opportunities. Need a college degree (stay in school for this reason exactly!) so you can get an exciting job like a doctor or something. So one day, Shirley secretly goes to the library and picks up a college application form, quite a few of them actually. She secretly fills them out, writes the essays, and sends them away. One day, it's about two months after she sent out the last forms and she's nervous because she doesn't know what's gonna happen if she gets accepted and has to quit her job. Here's the day some of the colleges write back.

::Burbank apartment, Laverne came back from getting the mail::

Laverne: Hey Shirl, you got some mail here. Who do you know in France, and Anaheim, and Seattle?

Shirley: ::jumps up and grabs all the mail from Laverne, grabbing four letters and running upstairs:: I'll tell you later Laverne!

Laverne: Boy, all I got was a card to renew my True Confessions subscription. ::Takes a pen:: Yes, of course. Send more smut soon.

::Laverne puts the card on the kitchen table to be mailed and Shirley skips down the stairs in a sort of trance.::

Laverne: So can you tell me who wrote to ya Shirl? A secret penpal named Francis?

Shirley: Oh, Laverne, I don't know how to tell you.....

Laverne: Tell me what? ::Claps her hands:: Your secret penpal has a friend who's a sailor!

Shirley: Where did you get this secret penpal business? There's no secret penpal!

Laverne: Then what do you gotta tell me?

Shirley: Well, about two months ago, I applied....

Laverne: For your own True Confessions subscription! I knew you'd see the smut light soon!

Shirley: Would you let me finish? It's not that!

Laverne: Then spit it out!

Shirley: I applied to college in France!

Laverne: College? Why? And why in France?

Shirley: Laverne, this is one of the best universities in the world! And then they gave me a full scholarship, and I get to see a new country, learn a new language.

Laverne: So you're going?

Shirley: I hope so, you're not mad, are you?

Laverne: Nah, why should I be mad? I mean, you get some nice foreign hunks....

Shirley: So you want me to go?

Laverne: Yeah, I mean, I can't stop ya. This is what you wanna do.

Shirley: Oh, Vernie, thanks for understanding!

::she gives her a hug and then run upstairs to show her the papers::

Laverne: Aww, Shirl, look at this place! There's so much grass and stuff!

Shirley: I know, I can't wait to go!

Laverne: You're glad to be leaving?

Shirley: I didn't mean it like that! It's just that now I get to see the world and new people!

Laverne: ::slightly hurt:: What's wrong with the people we know?

Shirley: Nothing! It's just that now it's new people and exciting people.

Laverne: Shirl, we hung out a window god knows how many flights up just to meet Fabian, if that ain't exciting, what is?

Shirley: Are you saying you don't want me to go?

Laverne: No, I'm saying I'll be glad when you go!

::runs upstairs and slams the door::

Shirley: Laverne! That's so unfair! Laverne!

::Carmine walks in::

Carmine: How ya doin' angelface?

Shirley: Oh, miserable. ::she plops down on the couch and he sits on the arm of it:: Laverne's mad at me because I'm going to college.

Carmine: You're going to college? That's great!

Shirley: In France.

Carmine: Not that great.


Part 2

Carmine: You're going to college? That's great!

Shirley: In France.

Carmine: Not that great.

Shirley: Now you don't want me to go?

Carmine: No, no, I want you to go, if it's what you really wanna do.

Shirley: Well if it's gonna have Laverne so mad at me then I don't want to. I'd rather be ignorant than friendless.

Carmine: I'll go talk to her, okay?

::he walks up the stairs and knocks on the door::

Carmine: Hey Laverne, it's Carmine, can I come in?

Laverne: Yeah, come in.

::she opens the door. Carmine walks in and she closes it::

Carmine: Why are you and Shirl havin' a fight?

Laverne: She was all happy about going to school and leaving us all here... all those new exciting people she was gonna meet, and I got jealous. She was goin' off to that big fancy place with foreign guys....

::at that last statement Carmine raises his eyebrow::

Carmine: But that doesn't mean she can't be your friend, does it?

Laverne: I don't know.... I'm so confused I don't know what to do!

Carmine: Then come downstairs and say sorry.

Laverne: Me say sorry? No! And how could you be so calm about all this? She's leavin' you for some guys named Pierre.

Carmine: You think I like that? No, I'm upset to. I don't want her to go either. But if it makes her happy that she's going to get an education then I'm happy.

Laverne: Well she was real excited when she got accepted.....

Carmine: So....?

Laverne: How can I stay mad at her?

::opens the bedroom door and stands at the top of the steps::

Laverne: Hey Shirl, you're goin' to France!

Shirley: ::turns around on the couch:: No I'm not.

Laverne: What do you mean?

Shirley: Who am I kidding? I'm not smart enough for college. And you're not gonna see any people my age there.

Carmine: But that makes you special! And you're smart enough for it.

Shirley: I guess, but I don't wanna go there for four years and be all alone, not knowing anyone.

Laverne: But we'll call ya once a week! And we'll write letters!

Shirley: Every week? Because I know how you can get about those things Laverne.....

Laverne: Every week I swear Shirl.

Shirley: ::getting misty:: Oh, you guys, you're the best friends anyone could have.

::it turns into a big group hug and then a sort of Shirl and Carmine make out hug::

Laverne: Oh, gee, where do I look, where do I look ? So how about them Packers, eh? Aww, I'm going to Cowboy Bill's.

::she grabs her purse and walks out the door::