***Willow Pond***
Jennifer Hart was absolutely exhausted. She and her husband Jonathan Hart were the proud parents of almost 2-month old twins, Jessalynn and Jagger. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept. She was more exhausted than she ever thought humanly possible. They had worked out a schedule about who would get up with them, but since Jennifer was trying to breastfeed, it was mainly her. Jonathan usually got up each time with her and tried to help as much as he could.
She was sitting in a rocking chair, in the nursery, holding her daughter who was crying. Jennifer was crying too, because try as she might, she just couldn't breastfeed both of them. It was too painful, too time consuming, and just too hard. She glanced over at the clock. 4:51 a.m. She felt like she had just gone to sleep 5 minutes ago.
Jonathan came in and saw her crying.
"Baby, what is it?"
"I just feel so bad that I can't do this, but no matter what I do, she won't latch on, and while I want her to, I don't want her to, because it just hurts".
"Baby, let me take her. I'll give her a bottle and you can rest or something".
She handed Jessalynn to him, and then checked on Jagger.
He was sleeping comfortably.
Jennifer went and took a shower while Jonathan took Jessalynn downstairs to make her a bottle and feed her.
He had just gotten her to sleep and in the crib in the nursery when Jennifer came downstairs.
"She's out like a light".
"Thank you for feeding her".
She headed to the kitchen to make herself some toast.
"Baby, what do you think about us hiring a nanny? Just to help you out".
"I don't love the idea. But I don't hate it either. Maybe something part-time. I'm seeing Susan tomorrow, I'll run it by her".
"You know, nobody is going to think less of you, especially me, if we just put both babies on formula full-time".
"I know. I just wanted to nurse them so bad. And he has no problem with it, but she does. And it just kills me to do it, but it kills me to think about not doing it either".
"Whatever you want to do, I'll support you, you know that. I just hate to see you so exhausted all the time and in pain."
She kissed him a few times.
"I just don't want you to think I'm not a good mommy. And I appreciate you getting up with them with me, but I feel like you shoulder the financial burden, so I should shoulder this one, and I'm trying so hard, but it's just not working".
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her and just held her.
"I promise you, I would never think you weren't a good mommy. In all fairness, you and I haven't even really begun to be parents yet. And it's not me shouldering this load and you shouldering that one, it's us shouldering all the loads together, as a team. I promise, if you want to stop nursing, I won't have a problem with it. I love feeding them and rocking them too".
"Pick up some more formula on your way home. And more bottles. I think this dairy farm is officially out of business".
"I love you, no matter what".
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Anything".
"I want to go take a nap while they sleep. Can you ask Max to listen for the babies?"
"Sure".
"Want to take a nap with me?"
"More than anything".
She made herself a glass of water and headed upstairs while he went to talk to Max.
"Max, the babies are sleeping. Jennifer and I are going to take a nap ourselves. Can you keep an ear out for the babies? I'll make 2 formula bottles and put them in the fridge. If they wake up, start with that".
"Of course, Mr. H."
"Thanks, Max".
He went and joined Jennifer in bed and they slept like rocks for almost 4 hours. Jagger woke up first, and Max got his bottle out and warmed it up and then brought it upstairs.
Jonathan heard him crying, so he got up and went to the nursery so Jennifer could sleep.
Thankfully, Jessalynn didn't wake up at all while Jagger was crying. Jonathan got him changed and fed and rocked him a little bit.
Jessalynn woke up just as Jonathan put Jagger back in the crib.
"Ok Max, bottle number 2".
"Coming right up, Mr. H."
He changed Jessalynn and then rocked her while they waited for Max to bring the bottle.
He was singing to her and helping her keep her paci in her mouth.
Max appeared with the bottle, and handed it to Jonathan.
"Here you go, sugars. That's a good girl".
Jessalynn sucked the bottle down almost as fast as Jagger had, and then he put her on his shoulder to burp her.
"Good girl, sugars. Daddy's so proud of you".
She fell asleep a few minutes later, and he swaddled her and put her back in her crib.
He tiptoed out, and headed back to their bedroom, and grabbed the notepad that Jennifer was using to record their feeding times and recorded the time for each kid.
Jennifer was still sleeping peacefully, so he stretched out next to her and went back to sleep himself.
***Later that night***
Jennifer finally woke up about 10 hours after she had gone to sleep the first time.
She was panicked till she realized that Jonathan was in the nursery with the kids. He was holding both of them and rocking both of them at the same time.
"Hi".
"Hi Mommy. Feel better?"
"Like a brand-new woman. Thank you, daddy".
"I love it when you call me Daddy".
"Jonathan! I didn't mean it the way you think".
"I still love it, no matter how you meant it".
She took Jagger from him, and sat down in the other glider and rocked him.
"Did Max take care of the babies by himself while you and I slept?"
"No. I slept with you while the kids slept and got up each time I heard them crying. He heated up the bottles and brought them to me, but he kept telling me "Max don't hold babies and Max don't change diapers, Mr. H."
She chuckled.
"I'm sorry I was so cranky earlier. I think I was just completely exhausted".
"Nothing to apologize for, darling. We are just figuring out the way as we go".
Max appeared in the doorway.
"Hey, Mrs. H. Glad you're awake. I made dinner, if you two's are hungry".
"I'm starved, Max".
"Same here, Max".
"As soon as we get the babies back down, we'll come to the kitchen".
"Sounds good".
"Darling, what if we don't hire a nanny, but rather someone we already know?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, we can't just leave our children with just anyone. What if we hired Rachel to work two days a week here, as the nanny? I could get some adult conversation and adult time with her and an extra set of hands is always helpful. Plus, I trust her to stay with the babies and she loves them so much".
"I'm ok with it if you are".
"Perfect, I'll call her after dinner".
They got both babies back to sleep and in their cribs and then headed downstairs to eat dinner.
Jennifer was famished and had two helpings of Max's spaghetti and meatballs.
She called Rachel after dinner, and Rachel readily agreed to come help out.
"Perfect. Come by tomorrow around 10. We'll take it from there".
"See you then, Squishy".
"I can't wait, Mushy".
Jonathan made a Target run and picked up more bottles, more formula, more diapers and two more lovies for the babies.
Jennifer washed and made several bottles while he was gone, and had them in the fridge.
She was sitting downstairs in the recliner when he got back.
He carried in several bags.
"Ok, so they had these lovie things, and I figured Jagger would like a tiger one, and Jessalynn would like a butterfly. And just in case she did, this one was on closeout so I got her both of them since there were only two left. I cleaned out the shelf of formula too, and got some more diapers, wipes, and baby butt cream."
"Good job, daddy".
He pulled another box out of the bag and set it on the living room table.
"I also got something for them for Christmas".
"Jonathan…they will only be 4 months old when Christmas comes around. And they won't have a clue that it's Christmas".
"Well, we will know and that's all that matters".
"What did you get them?"
"I got Jagger a remote-controlled car. And I got Jessalynn a paint set".
"You're insane".
He opened the remote-controlled car and put the batteries in the car and the remote and then climbed in the recliner with Jennifer.
"I could always go back to Target and get another one, and you and I could have nightly car races".
"No thank you. Are you sure this wasn't a gift for Daddy, and not for Jagger?"
"Well….Daddy has to teach Jagger how to use it. And what kind of father would I be if I didn't make sure it worked first?"
"Uh huh…"
She rested her head on his shoulder and watched him play with the car for a bit before he turned it off.
He leaned over and started kissing her neck.
"Grab the blanket, baby".
"Are you crazy?! First of all, I haven't been cleared by Susan yet. So, that means -we- haven't been given the go-ahead. Not to mention, Max is in the other room".
"Where's your sense of adventure?"
"I'm plenty adventurous, thank you. If you'll recall, the twins were conceived in this recliner right here".
"I remember, I remember."
"I promise, as soon as we get the go-ahead, we'll have some alone time, alright? But not when Max is right around the corner".
"Darling, what if instead of riding all the rides in the amusement park, we just ride the easy ones?"
"It's a deal".
Jonathan went and got the baby monitor, and they headed upstairs.
Jennifer slipped into a nightgown and Jonathan put on some pajama shorts and they climbed into bed.
They were as intimate as they could be, and then fell asleep together, knowing that the babies were going to wake up all too quickly.
"Goodnight, I love you".
"Goodnight, I love you too".
***The Next Day***
Jennifer loved having Rachel there to help with the babies. She was a huge help and it was nice to have her friend there to talk to.
Rachel held down the fort while Jennifer took a shower and got dressed, and then went with them to the doctor's office. Jennifer was having her after-birth appointment and the babies were having their checkups.
Susan checked out the babies first, and Jennifer explained that Jagger took to breastfeeding like a champ, but Jessalynn didn't.
"That's pretty normal for twins. You aren't a big woman, at all, so it's possible that he's draining you and she's barely getting anything."
"Well, I decided yesterday morning to give it up all together and put them both on formula".
"Great. How are they tolerating it?"
"Fine so far".
She got out the bottle of formula and showed it to her.
"Good choice. As long as they don't have any problems with this, they should be able to stay on this for several months".
Susan declared each of them to be healthy, and then had Jennifer step behind the curtain so that she could put on a gown for her exam.
"How are you holding up, mentally?"
"It's been rough. Yesterday, Jagger woke up at 3 a.m. and I fed him, and then she woke up just before 4, so I was trying to feed her, but she wouldn't eat. And we both just sat there and cried. Jonathan came and took her and gave her a bottle, and I went and took a shower and then slept for about 10 hours. I felt better when I woke up, but this is at least 100 times tougher than I thought it would be. I'm constantly wondering if what I'm doing makes me a good mom or if I'm screwing them up for the rest of their lives".
"Jennifer, they are babies. You aren't trying to get them into Harvard, you are just trying to make sure they are fed, changed, clothed, and sleeping. Throw a bath in every couple of days and that's it".
"I'll try to remember that".
Jennifer laid back so Susan could examine her.
After the examination, Susan patted her legs and told her she could sit up.
"Ok, you are all healed from childbirth. You and Jonathan can be intimate again, but take it slow. And I don't mean slow for you two slow, I mean slow for the rest of us slow. You can also start working out again, but again, slow. Listen to your body. Your milk supply will dry up in a couple of days. Soaking your nipples in tea bags will help with the soreness. Also, dab on a layer of Aquaphor on each nipple at night before bed and that will help with the cracking and heal them a little faster".
"Perfect, I'll try that".
"Also, we need to talk about birth control. I can prescribe an oral one, if you'd like. You are extremely fertile right now, so unless you and Jonathan want another baby right now, you will need to use something."
They discussed all the options, and then Jennifer decided to get the implant, so Susan had her lay back and went ahead and got her numbed up and got the implant inserted and then bandaged Jennifer's arm.
"Now, flu and RSV season is coming up, so make sure anyone who comes in contact with the babies is washing their hands really well. All the adults need to get the flu shots".
"All of us certainly will".
"And prepare yourself, little mother. At their next appointment, they will be getting immunizations".
"Ugh. Ok".
"I promise you, you're doing a good job. This is tough, but it will get better".
Jennifer nodded.
"Any postpartum symptoms? Any negative thoughts about yourself or the babies?"
"If you mean that I'm being a good mom to them, then yeah, all the time. If you mean that I want to hurt them or hurt myself, no".
"Ok good. I want you to call me if that changes, no matter what time of night or day it is".
"Got it".
"How is your sleep?"
"Hit or miss most days. The other day when I realized I couldn't breastfeed both any longer, Jonathan and I got the babies back down and then went back to sleep ourselves. And he got up with them the next two times, and let me sleep. I think I slept like 10 hours straight and it was absolutely glorious. I'm so thankful he's been home from the office with me more days than not."
"That's wonderful. He needs to sleep, too. This isn't a Jennifer job and this isn't a Jonathan job, it's a Mommy and Daddy job".
"That's a good point. I'll pass it along".
"Ok, well that's all I have. Remember, slow when it comes to exercise, slow when it comes to sex, and when it comes to the babies, fed is best. I want to see them back in two months, for their 4-month checkup".
"Thank you".
Jennifer and Rachel got the babies ready to go after Jennifer changed back into her clothes, and then they headed back home.
***Willow Pond***
Jennifer held Jagger and Rachel settled onto the couch with Jessalynn.
"I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you going with me today. You were a big help".
"You're welcome. I loved it too. I miss hanging out with you".
"Yeah, I knew that becoming a mommy would change things, but I didn't realize I would end up just dropping my friends."
She softly rocked Jagger and kissed his forehead a few times.
"So how are things with you and Jack?"
"Wonderful. We just need to do three things-find a place to live, plan the wedding, and agree on the first two".
"I seem to remember having problems agreeing with Jonathan on wedding plans and I remember a wise friend of mine once told me "You two love each other. It will all work out".
"Yes, that person was extremely wise, and now she needs her best friend Jennifer to say it right back to her".
"Jennifer is happy to oblige. Just take it one step at a time, and it will fall into place".
"We are trying our hardest".
They rocked and played with the babies for a bit, and then Jonathan was home.
"Jennifer?"
"In here".
He came into the living room and found them.
"Hi darling. Hi Milky".
Rachel smiled at Jonathan.
"Hi handsome. Can you say hi to daddy?"
Jonathan leaned down and kissed her and then took the baby from her.
"Hey buddy. Daddy missed you".
Jennifer moved over so they could share the recliner.
"Rachel and I took the babies to see Susan today, so she could check all three of us. And the babies are doing great. They both have almost doubled their birth weight, and they have each grown about 2 inches."
"That's wonderful! I knew we had smart advanced kiddos. Did she say anything about stopping breastfeeding?"
"Yes, she said that he was probably draining me, since he eats more than she does. And that it's ok to stop if I want to, and feed them formula. I think the phrase she used was fed is best".
"Well, good. I'm glad she didn't give you a hard time about it".
"She said to tell you to listen to your body and rest when you need to, just like she wants me to do. We can't take care of them if we are sleep deprived".
"Good advice".
Rachel stood up.
"Ok, well, I'm going to go. I can come back tomorrow if you need me".
"Sure, if you want. I think we only need someone with us two, maybe three days a week. We will pay you, of course. Pick which days you want and we'll work around it".
"This week, I can do today, tomorrow and Friday".
"Perfect".
She gave Jessalynn a few kisses and then handed her to Jennifer.
"Thank you so much, Mushy".
"I love you, Squishy. And I love you too, Squishy Jr. Bye Techy, bye baby stud muffin".
"Baby stud muffin?"
"Just trying out nicknames".
"I see".
After Rachel left, Jennifer and Jonathan rocked with the babies for a little bit.
"Darling, Susan cleared me for all activity".
"All activity?"
"Yes. She said I have to take it slow and easy though. And she gave me the birth control implant, so that unless we have it removed, we won't have another child for 3 years".
"Well, that's a good idea, because we could never ever have better kids than these two right now. But why the implant?"
"Because I wanted something that I could get today, that wasn't a pill, and that wouldn't mean I was in bed for the rest of the night in pain. So, it was the implant or the shot. Implant lasts 3 years, shot lasts 3 months".
They turned the babies towards each other and let them see each other and start interacting with each other.
After a nice dinner, they got the babies down for the night and then retired to their room to watch a movie.
They climbed into bed and she curled up on his chest.
"How were your meetings today, honey?"
"Good, actually. We made a lot of progress, but I could hardly concentrate. I just wanted to be home with you and the babies".
"We missed you too. It was nice having Rachel here, though. I'm glad she has agreed to help out for a while".
They chatted while he found them a movie and before he knew it, Jennifer was asleep on his chest.
He kissed her forehead and pulled the blankets up around them.
"Goodnight, I love you".
