"The Carnival"

**Another In The L&S In High School Series**

Last time we left Laverne and Shirley and the gang, they all had almost killed each other. Oh yea, when Laverne went to go get help, she did find a really cute clumbsy guy in the nurses' office. Now, they're all back on the feet and not falling as much anymore. Laverne and Shirley and Terry Buttafuco and (blah! :oP) Rosie Greenbaum have all been accepted into the Angora Debs. (Money can make anyone beautiful, in Rosie's case.) Here's a meeting of the minds at lunchtime trying to find a way to raise money for the Debs.

Laverne: Look, why don't we have a dance?
Rosie: Because we just had one, and guys don't want their feet stepped on again by DeFazio.
Laverne: You're right, we shouldn't have another dance.
Rosie: You're learning. Now you see it my way.
Laverne: No, because guys don't want to be smacked to the other side of the gym by your big hips! That's why!
Rosie: I wouldn't be talking, Thunder Thighs.
Shirley: Ladies! Please!
Rosie: I'll stop. I don't wanna rumble, because I have class.
Laverne: No, you and your hips take up half a class, that's why you ain't gonna rumble Greenbaum!
::Terry and Shirley sit between them so they don't smack each other to infinity.::
Terry: Look, let's hold a carnival. No arguing involved. We can have some people run booths. The guys on the baseball team can have people throw baseballs at milk bottles. We can have someone sit over a tank of water to be dunked.
Shirley: I like that idea. What do you say Thunder Hips, Oh! I mean Rosie?
Rosie: It's an okay idea. Better than DeFazio's toe stepping dance.
Terry: Knock it off! Both of ya!
Laverne: I like it. It's a good idea. I'll help motivate some volunteers from the sports teams. ::rolls up her skirt::
Rosie: ::looks at her legs:: You want them to be motivated or to run for their life?
::bell rings, they glare at each other and walk away::
::in the hallway, Laverne and Shirley are walking to spanish class::
Shirley: I swear. You and Rosie fight so much, you turn lunch time into the Civil War.
Laverne: She started it. Anyway, it was self defense.
Shirley: I despise Rosie, but you don't see me arguing with her every five minutes, do you Laverne?
Laverne: Well, I guess not.
Shirley: Ahora, vamo a comere manteciya.
Laverne: Shirl, I'm not the BEST Spanish student, but you just said, "Now we're going to eat butter."
Shirley: Let she who doesn't eat butter cast the first stick of it.
::the next day in the middle of the empty field, the Debs, the basketball team, the baseball team, and football team are standing there planning where everything should go (by the way, it was a ratio of 55 guys to 6 girls. Do the math how many dates the girls got.)::
Terry: I think the dunking booth should go in that corner, and a changing booth next to it. They can't walk around the whole carnival soaking wet.
Laverne: That's great Terry. But we missed something. Who are people going to try to dunk?
Terry: Oh, right. That. Well, it should be a person worth dunking.
Everybody except Terry: Principal Butts!!!
Terry: No! Then he'll never let us have another carnival again. Someone pestering, annoying, someone everyone hates.
::everyone looks like Rosie::
Terry: ::rolls her eyes:: Besides her. and it can't be a coach or teahcer. Or a Deb.
Laverne: ::eyes light up,like she's got a great comeback, then looks at Shirley with the eyes, then Shirley tells Carmine (guys can't understand the eye language).:: We got someone.
Everybody: Squiggy!
Terry: Great, but how are we gonna get him to volunteer? We need someone who he really likes to seduce him into it. Someone cunning, devious, good looking, stunning, intelligent to con him into it.
Shirley: Who could we get?
::everybody looks at her::
Everybody except Shirl: Shirley! Shirley! Shirley!
Shirley: I can't do that! I'm going steady with someone, right Carmine?
Carmine: If it'll do good for the school and the Debs, it's ok.
Shirley: ::in a low voice:: But I don't want to.
Carmine: Who ever does? Please Shirl? ::starts stroking her face:: Please angelface?
Shirley: ::turns to Terry:: Alright, fine. Okay, I'll do it. ::turns back to Carmine:: You owe me, big time. ::whispers in his ear::
Carmine: Yes ma'am !
::later that day, Laverne and Shirley and Carmine are walking to Squiggy's house::
Shirley: Laverne, I don't want to do this! I look like... like..... like you! With this cut off shirt and this mini skirt.
Laverne: And that's how I get all the guys. Now look, you have to be nice to him, and seductive. Pretend he's..... Carmine.
Carmine: Why you gotta insult me like that?
Shirley: He's right. Now I must go home with him and console him.
Laverne: Stay! Look, we're here. Come on, go in.
::the three of them walk onto Squiggy's porch and Shirley rings the bell::
::Squiggy looks out the window and says from inside::
Squiggy: Coming my little winshield wiper of love!
Shirley: ::turns around:: Did you hear what he called me?
Carmine: Please, just go along with him. He's harmless.
Squiggy: Hellooooo ::stands in the foyer of the house in a robe and slippers, with a buble pipe.:: Come in, please.
Shirley: ::turns around, smiling widely, talking through her teeth:: I'm going to kill you. Both of you.
Squiggy: The bubbles are drying inside the pipe, my little...... axel wheel.
Carmine: ::widens his eyes:: Laverne, I think we better not let her do this.
Laverne: Relax. She's having fun.
Shirley: ::being pulled in by the arm by Squiggy:: Laverne, help me! HELP!
::the door slams::
Carmine: Well what do we do now?
Laverne: We wait. As long as it takes.
::Shirley screams from inside and her footsteps are heard from inside. She flings open the door and runs into Carmine's arms::
Shirley: It was AWFUL!! ::crying hysterically:: He made me..... he made me touch his....
Laverne: his what?
Shirley: His..... giant moth!! This giant, living three foot moth living in his room! It was horrible.
Carmine: Laverne, why don't YOU try to convince him? Shhh, shh, come on Shirl, I'll walk you home.
Shirley: Then he made me..... ::whispers it in Carmine's ear::
Carmine: I'm gonna kill him.
Shirley: Save it for tomorrow. Dunk him as much as you can.