This is what happens when a person who actually ships Peach with Mario and Robin (regardless of gender) with Chrom still finds themself enamored of the idea of Robin/Peach. Not to mention that same person recalling a certain Heart song from the early '90s. In any case, Princess Peach, Mario the Plumber, and Robin the Tactician Magician are all copyright Nintendo and the song "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You" is copyright Capitol Records.


It was just a drive to clear her head, be alone with her thoughts for a while. Peach loved Mario, she really did, but she also wanted a baby. So far nothing had come of their efforts and it was stressing her out. A nice drive in the Heart Coach seemed like a good idea, but of course it had to start raining now.

Great, Peach thought. But then she glanced to the side and saw that she wasn't as alone with her thoughts as she'd believed, nor was she the only one getting soaking wet. There near the side of the road was a young man, all but hidden in the shadows by a dark purple almost black coat (AN: yes I know the guy in the song didn't have a coat, but in that case the coat wasn't such a part of the character) but whose white shirt, pants, and even hair stood out. With his coat open like it was and the hood down, the coat didn't seem to be doing him much good. Why he was out here, Peach hadn't a clue. Still, she decided to try and help him, whoever he was.

"Excuse me, sir," she said as she pulled up next to the young man. "Need a ride somewhere?"

The man managed a slight smile and a "Thank you."

"Just climb onto the back and hold on tight," Peach instructed. The guy did so, and Peach asked where he needed to go.

"No matter," was the reply. "Just somewhere out of this rain."

Now despite barely getting more than a glimpse of his face, something about this guy had given Peach a certain tingling sensation, one she normally only felt around Mario. But even without those conflicted feelings, she knew better than to even think about bringing a strange man home with her. This guy was absolutely nothing like Bowser, but would that make any difference to Mario? Either way, Peach wanted out of the rain as much as her passenger did, so they drove around for a little while before reaching, of all places, Marrymore. Of course Peach wasn't about to commit bigamy and she still had some unpleasant memories of this town, but it was somewhere, and provided it wasn't occupied she could afford the luxury suite at the inn there. That poor boy at least deserves one night in such a room, she thought.

Once she parked the car, Peach and her passenger entered the hotel and since it was available she paid the two hundred coins for the luxury suite. In the light and not paying attention to the road, Peach got a much better look at the young man. He was even more handsome than she'd gathered from the brief glimpse, and even with the coat...

No, stop it! Peach thought. You shouldn't be having these feelings for this guy! You love-

"Well, you sh- should be okay here tonight," Peach stammered. "Bye now!"

"Are you sure you want to drive home in the rain?" the man asked. "And in your roofless car?"

Peach sighed. "Good point," she said. Mario would understand if she explained it that way when she did get home. All she was doing here was sleeping, right? Try as she might, though, Peach couldn't help but be reminded of her desire for a child. This, combined with the feelings she was having for the young man, caused her emotional conflict to reach a fever pitch. She was having lots of trouble trying to hold it in. "May- maybe we should get out of these wet clothes?" she managed.

"Don't have to tell me twice," the male replied. Indeed even his coat was completely soaked. As he removed his coat, belts, and whatever that thing he wore over his pants was, Peach struggled out of her soaked dress. She got it over her head and off just in time to see her roommate remove his shirt. Seeing that and seeing him topless as a result was making it even harder for her to control herself, and she stopped and stared.

The young man chuckled. "Like what you see?"

"Do... you?" she said, since after all at this point she still had a petticoat on but not much else.

All Peach got in reply was a slight nod, and the next thing either of them knew they were in a passionate embrace. This led to a long, passionate kiss, the removal of his pants/her petticoat, more kissing and fondling, then the removal of all remaining undergarments. What happened next, one could easily guess. The rest of the night passed in a blissful blur for Peach, and she was quite sure it would have the true desired outcome.

(hours later)

Peach awoke as the first rays of dawn entered the room. The white-haired male was still sound asleep. Careful not to wake him, Peach quickly threw her clothes back on and made her way to the desk. Finding a pen and pad, she quickly wrote:

Dear Sir: I'm sorry, but I am the flower, you are the seed. We walked in the garden; we planted a tree. Don't try to find me, please don't you dare. Just live in my memory; you'll always be there. Without signing her name, Peach left the note on the pillow she had been using and made a break for it. She did have a reasonable alibi- the rain, having driven so far, the Heart Coach not having a roof- but there was no need to keep Mario waiting for her to come home any longer. As proven by her letter, she never even got the name of the young man. Just as well, this only meant there was no risk of her accidentally calling Mario this other name, and it wasn't like she'd ever see that young man again.

(months later)

"Hey Peach!" Mario called. "The Smash Tournament is happening again this year! And we're both invited!"

"We are?" Peach replied. "I mean, we are! That's wonderful, but what about-"

"I'm sure somebody who's not fighting at the moment can babysit for a little extra coin," Mario replied.

The concern was the baby girl Peach had given birth to nine months to the day after that night in the Marrymore Inn's luxury suite. Both Peach and Mario loved her like their own, despite her very brown eyes and it being common knowledge that two blue-eyed parents would not have a brown-eyed child. At least she got Peach's yellow hair instead of white.

"I suppose so," Peach conceded. She did still want to participate in the tournament, she had so few chances to really show that side of her. Also, she was eager to see most of the other previous participants again. Not to mention the new participants, of which there were sure to be several. Zelda would probably love to meet the new baby, so would many of the others. So Mario and Peach packed up and moved, again, into the Smash Mansion, baby and all. Unpacking, setting up their apartment, and tending to the baby took precedence over seeing anyone else for more than a split second, but the welcome reception was that afternoon. The couple attended, taking the baby in a pram.

Eventually, Mario excused himself to get some more refreshments for both himself and Peach, and just moments after he walked away Peach heard a familiar voice say, "Well, fancy meeting you here."

Peach froze. It can't be! she thought. But sure enough, she found herself face to face with a figure with fluffy white hair and brown eyes wearing a very familiar almost-black purple coat. It was him.

"Er, well, I-" Peach stammered. "I- I've been to the last two tournaments, so I- wasn't going to pass on this one even with..."

As if on cue, the baby started slowly waking up. As soon as her eyes opened and the man got a good look at them, the very same brown eyes he saw in the mirror every morning, he fell to the floor on his behind in shock.

"Robin!" another voice called out, this one belonging to a blue-haired man that Peach didn't recognize as Marth or Ike.

"I'm okay!" the white-haired man called back as he pulled himself up, though he didn't seem entirely sure he meant it.

He turned his attention back to Peach, but before he could say anything to her she simply said, "So that's your name? Robin?"

"Yes, but that doesn't matter now," Robin replied. "Why did you just take off after- you know? And why didn't you tell me you were pregnant, though now that 'seed' and 'tree' gobbledygook makes sense?"

Peach heaved a heavy sigh. "Robin... please, please understand!" she exclaimed. "I'm in love with another man! Have been for a very long time, before I even saw you. But there was one thing he couldn't give me that you could!" She gestured towards the pram. "Her."

At that moment, Mario returned with plates of food. "What's-a going on here?" he asked.

Peach sighed again. This was going to be a long year or so.


Yeah, I left things ambiguous there. Wasn't sure whether Robin would cry, call Chrom over and unleash his Final Smash on Peach, or be left in stunned silence, or what Mario would do to Robin, Peach, or both. So whatever happens next is whatever you believe happened next. Again, I'm all for Peach/Mario and Robin/Chrom whether Robin is male or female but was intrigued by the idea of Robin/Peach and wanted to get it out of my system.